Women and engineer problem in marriage

[sarang]

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Some samatwam can be achieved if well employed, high earning boys marry girls of moderate education, job and means; and high flying MNC girls, marry boys with reduced levels of earnings and qualifications. There will be no problem of relocation, or giving up a low paying job to seek a fortune elsewhere.

I know two cases - a engineer boy has relocated to the bank/finance employed girl; a technology qualified girl has relocated to her IT husband's place. In both cases, the partner with low earnings has relocated. Since all have sound qualifications, future prospects can change in favour of today's tyagi.

Dear P J Sir,

What I find is that ALL the girls with well established job, especially in MNC, do NOT want to relocate.

We find this attitude not only in India but in the PIOs in other countries too. It is taken for granted that

boys can find job in any place and they have to relocate. Girls do not need the advise of anyone. They

want their parents to be baby sitters in due course and hence want them in the next road. This will save

a lot of money later! So please do not blame the parents alone. Whatever domination was done by males

in the previous generations are repeated by females now. Tit for Tat.
Soon the time will come when a huge sum of 'varadhakshanai' will be demanded by the girl's parents! opcorn:

 

[Raji Ram]

Some samatwam can be achieved if well employed, high earning boys marry girls of moderate education, job and means; and high flying MNC girls, marry boys with reduced levels of earnings and qualifications. There will be no problem of relocation, or giving up a low paying job to seek a fortune elsewhere...........

Dear Sir,

Have you not noticed that a girl wants her partner to earn more and at least equally qualified?

And if both are in India, she always expects the boy to relocate. So far I have heard of relocation

only in the case of girls who marry someone from the U S of A with a promise that he will pay her

school (that is how they call it) fee to get her a master's degree.

Ram's cousin's son is getting married soon and the girl is from Delhi. The groom is in the U S of A

and just settling in his job. He said that it is NOT possible for him to pay her school fee. So, the

bride's father is applying for loan to meet the expenses. This is not the end of the story. Another

nephew commented, 'It is cool that the bride's father is arranging for a loan; but do you know

who is going to repay it?'

 

[sarang]

My suggestion is only for those who do not find varans because of salary/qualification differences. Even IIM graduates accept accept jobs at one tenth of the top placement (100L to 10L anuual) from the same batch. In the good old days we married girls who were not even eligible for employment.

Regarding repayment of educational loan, the hubby, if not an ambi, can make the wife pay and meet incidental expenses like delivery, mil's visit etc.

Dear Sir,

Have you not noticed that a girl wants her partner to earn more and at least equally qualified?

And if both are in India, she always expects the boy to relocate. So far I have heard of relocation

only in the case of girls who marry someone from the U S of A with a promise that he will pay her

school (that is how they call it) fee to get her a master's degree.

Ram's cousin's son is getting married soon and the girl is from Delhi. The groom is in the U S of A

and just settling in his job. He said that it is NOT possible for him to pay her school fee. So, the

bride's father is applying for loan to meet the expenses. This is not the end of the story. Another

nephew commented, 'It is cool that the bride's father is arranging for a loan; but do you know

who is going to repay it?'

 

[Karthik681]

Hold on people, just read what 'Times of India Cres't edition published last saturday.

Here is the link

Article Window

Read it properly and you will feel my pain too.

Thanks

 

[IronHide]

You meant to say, their high expectation is their right and its good for the society ? Absolutely not.

Please Google and read the story on 'Leftover women in china' through a New York Times article.
.....

I am not here to fight a case but to express what I'm going through.

There are many women in my location who are of same caste but the age gap is just 1 or 2 years and some case they are same age to me.
But they expectation is the same and they still waiting for their Mr Right. I'm 30 now.

Dear Karthik, all i am trying to say is that it is not right on our part to judge what Brides or their parents want for them. Neither me nor yourself spent a dime raising , educating or anything like that like for the Bride and their side. To make matters worse we expect the Birdes parents to foot the full bill for marriage , expense's after marriage and still some Bridegroom's parents tended to behave as if they are doing a favor to the Bride side. The question is that why should the Girl side take all the responsibilities just because they parented a Girl child ? How come everyone who is hung up against the brides side never speak against these stuff ?

Due to skewed sex ratio, love marriages and the decades of male domination the tables have changed and we would need to happy for the same.

Regarding Girls waiting for Mr.Right and their expectations it is their prerogative. I am not in position to say whether it is good or bad for the society since i don't not think that i am qualified enough for the that but my only point is that one should not feel a need to dictate terms to the Bride's side on what should or should not be their expectations since they owe us nothing.

Dear Sir,

Have you not noticed that a girl wants her partner to earn more and at least equally qualified?

And if both are in India, she always expects the boy to relocate. So far I have heard of relocation

only in the case of girls who marry someone from the U S of A with a promise that he will pay her

school (that is how they call it) fee to get her a master's degree.

Ram's cousin's son is getting married soon and the girl is from Delhi. The groom is in the U S of A

and just settling in his job. He said that it is NOT possible for him to pay her school fee. So, the

bride's father is applying for loan to meet the expenses. This is not the end of the story. Another

nephew commented, 'It is cool that the bride's father is arranging for a loan; but do you know

who is going to repay it?'

Dear Raji Ram sir , if the Girl is expected to leave everything behind and come to the grooms side then for a change why not the Bridegroom does the same for any reason ? Why should it always needs be a one way street ?

Girls are working and earning equally , for some they might be the only child for the parents and hence need to take care of the parents (or) maybe the domain they are working in it could have be difficult to find equal opportunities to the city/country where they relocate and in some very rare cases where the earning member of the family has passed away they would need to support the family.
In these scenario what is so wrong in the demands ? If it is acceptable then the terrific , if not there are 100 others who waiting in the queue for whom the demands are acceptable. This is the scenario now and one need to accept realities. We are talking and wanting globalization but are not agreeable when it comes to our houses.

Some samatwam can be achieved if well employed, high earning boys marry girls of moderate education, job and means; and high flying MNC girls, marry boys with reduced levels of earnings and qualifications. There will be no problem of relocation, or giving up a low paying job to seek a fortune elsewhere.

I know two cases - a engineer boy has relocated to the bank/finance employed girl; a technology qualified girl has relocated to her IT husband's place. In both cases, the partner with low earnings has relocated. Since all have sound qualifications, future prospects can change in favour of today's tyagi.

I tend to agree. From my personal experience, in the cases where the Birdegrooms side outrank the Birdes so to speak in terms of resources, education and to a lesser extent looks then there is no demands or very negligible demands. Normally the above mentioned issues comes when both the Bride and Bridgegroom are in the same boat so to speak and we as usual expect the Brides side to compromise.

 

[Karthik681]

Sir,
I'm happy for women's empowerment, its good for both boys and girls.

What I'm not happy for is that women have priced themselves outside the market, they expect her partner to be smart as them and more smarter than them.

The problem here lies that men tend to marriage less educated, less intelligent women.

Please note: All across the world this is happening, Please comment/reply properly not blindly.


Sir, we have no rights to command the bridge and the bridegroom about their marriages,

BUT, more women are getting graduate degrees and are into work, BUT whom will they marry, if they 'PRICE' themselves way too high.

Please comment properly this is happening in China and US,

The problem in China is that many working class women are single and not marrying 'LESS' educated men, 'LESS' earning men, the Chinese govt see this as big problem for China's future, if women don't marry and remain single and how can future generation (youths) can come and strive the nation.
The reports say, they hardly enough men who matches women' demands, but at the same time Chinese men tend to marry young women with lesser education.
Higher Educated class women are left behind by themselves.

When i search the matrimony website for my marriage I see a lot of women aged 28-35 who are very well educated and earning huge package, remain in marriage search engine.

Do you expect you high earning daughter to remain single or remain unmarried even at age 30 ?

MEN will only marry who are younger and less educated than them, in order have control.
They might be thousands of cases where my sentence will be wrong, but in terms of global events , its the true.

There are few men who match the women's demands.

Thank you

 

[KRS]

Dear Karthik681 Ji,

You said

Please comment properly this is happening in China and US,

I don't know much about China, but your statement about the US has surprised me, having been living in the US for the past 42 years. Can you elaborate?

Also, don't you think that the girls are raising the standards for our boys to emulate? I would even call it, 'increasing the quality and standards of the market'. What do you think?

Regards,
KRS

Regards,
KRS

 

[sangom]

Sir,
I'm happy for women's empowerment, its good for both boys and girls.

What I'm not happy for is that women have priced themselves outside the market, they expect her partner to be smart as them and more smarter than them.

The problem here lies that men tend to marriage less educated, less intelligent women.

Please note: All across the world this is happening, Please comment/reply properly not blindly.


Sir, we have no rights to command the bridge and the bridegroom about their marriages,

BUT, more women are getting graduate degrees and are into work, BUT whom will they marry, if they 'PRICE' themselves way too high.

Please comment properly this is happening in China and US,

The problem in China is that many working class women are single and not marrying 'LESS' educated men, 'LESS' earning men, the Chinese govt see this as big problem for China's future, if women don't marry and remain single and how can future generation (youths) can come and strive the nation.
The reports say, they hardly enough men who matches women' demands, but at the same time Chinese men tend to marry young women with lesser education.
Higher Educated class women are left behind by themselves.

When i search the matrimony website for my marriage I see a lot of women aged 28-35 who are very well educated and earning huge package, remain in marriage search engine.

Do you expect you high earning daughter to remain single or remain unmarried even at age 30 ?

MEN will only marry who are younger and less educated than them, in order have control.
They might be thousands of cases where my sentence will be wrong, but in terms of global events , its the true.

There are few men who match the women's demands.

Thank you

Dear Shri Karthik,

What has happened or is happening in China or the US or other countries is not very relevant to India. Our country has at least two different parts - which are usually referred to as the prosperous "India" and the less advanced "Bharat". Your problem, it seems to me, is that you are in India whereas by the present standards set by the girls of this "India" you command very little marketability there. You are therefore required to give up your search for a bride in that prosperous India and start searching for a suitable girl in the marriage markets of "Bharat". This is what I mentioned in one of my previous posts. You seem to be adamant saying, "the mountain should come to me; I will not go to the mountain."

I request you to think deeply and act. There is no use in bringing points like no youth in future generations etc.; at least in India, the "Bharat" segment will continue to provide children for the next 100 years, I feel.

 

[zebra16]

D
I request you to think deeply and act. There is no use in bringing points like no youth in future generations etc.; at least in India, the "Bharat" segment will continue to provide children for the next 100 years, I feel.

Good point. I like it

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Shri Karthik,

..........There is no use in bringing points like no youth in future generations etc.; at least in India, the "Bharat" segment will continue to provide children for the next 100 years, I feel.

As long as future youths of the next 100 years are NOT Clueless as who their parents are and are not hysterical, then it's perfectly fine!!

 

[sangom]

As long as future youths of the next 100 years are NOT Clueless as who their parents are and are not hysterical, then it's perfectly fine!!

Dear Shri Ravi,

Since you are living in the Gulf and even in your visits you have more contacts with the more advanced "India" than the "Bharat", you are driven to writing thus. But there is a Bharat side by side with the India. It is probably India which may produce children who may have difficulty in tracing their actual parents but in the Bharat segment this situation seems to have not arisen so far.

 

[renuka]

Don't tell me TB guys are NOT getting married at all?

Check out this TB guy with his wife (daughter of Rajinikanth).

 

[Haridasa Siva]

The OP and subsequent posts by the thread starter is understandable. There is a different trend emerging in the marriage market (at least in Sangom sir's "India" segment). There is no use crying over this change. After all change is inevitable. As has been mentioned in one of the posts, people seeking marriage match start with high expectations and scale down as time progresses. Another issue is the (over)importance of money in today's life. Probably people look for more material aspects like a good qualification, good job or good job location than for "soft" issues like good character, good family, etc. Let us remember that this trend would also change one day! Does that offer any comfot?

 

[renuka]

Probably people look for more material aspects like a good qualification, good job or good job location than for "soft" issues like good character, good family, etc. Let us remember that this trend would also change one day! Does that offer any comfot?

Dear Haridasa Ji,

You have missed the most important fact to consider when looking for a prospective life partner...CHEMISTRY.

The "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"(something is happening feeling) has to be there!

When the KKHH feeling is strongly present..no one would bother so much of their criteria list.

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Haridasa Ji,

You have missed the most important fact to consider when looking for a prospective life partner...CHEMISTRY.

The "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"(something is happening feeling) has to be there!

When the KKHH feeling is strongly present..no one would bother so much of their criteria list.

A youth at his mid 20's gave a try to smoke cigarette with the help of his friends and learned well how to smoke. Then he started getting the feeling of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" and become a regular smoker.

A youth at his mid 20's happened to attend a cocktail party and tried few drinks to know how can he feel after some drinks. Then he started liking the taste and the kick and continued to become an active drinker. That is, drinking during every weekend because at the end of the week he gets the feelings of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" towards weekend drinking.


A person happened to eat KFC Chicken and French Fries offered by a friend and liked the taste. Now for him "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" often and he opts for KFC bites for his lunch or dinner, 2 to 3 times a week.

People get the feeling of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" and opt for it when it is something great that they could like it. And even get addicted to it.


Similarly, girls get "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings towards a guy "to marry" Only and Only if the guy is a jackpot for her. "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings strikes her ONLY and ONLY if the guy has much higher qualification than the girl's, he earns around 10 Lakh to 15Lakh per year and he is ready to forget his parents and settle down with his wife for ever.

If these three points are found in a guy, ALL the girls will have "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Feelings For Him". Such a way that, these girls will start liking his each and every move and style no matter if they really are so catchy. Yeah, truly very truly they would like everything of him and "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings would keep pulsating in her, every second.


Oh Yeah, also all the girl's Chemistry and Frequency would match with such a guy so perfectly as if they are made for each other.


LOL!!!

 

[sangom]

The OP and subsequent posts by the thread starter is understandable. There is a different trend emerging in the marriage market (at least in Sangom sir's "India" segment). There is no use crying over this change. After all change is inevitable. As has been mentioned in one of the posts, people seeking marriage match start with high expectations and scale down as time progresses. Another issue is the (over)importance of money in today's life. Probably people look for more material aspects like a good qualification, good job or good job location than for "soft" issues like good character, good family, etc. Let us remember that this trend would also change one day! Does that offer any comfot?

Dear Haridasa Ji,

You have missed the most important fact to consider when looking for a prospective life partner...CHEMISTRY.

The "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"(something is happening feeling) has to be there!

When the KKHH feeling is strongly present..no one would bother so much of their criteria list.

Shri Haridasa Siva,

The societal change, according to me, will last till we have less number of males and a large surplus of females in the marriage market. That could take a minimum of 25 years but may not happen even during the next 50 or one hundred years, if the parents continue to have their perceived preference for a male issue. Right now, according to my limited knowledge, parents have changed from their erstwhile "high pedestal" and have accepted the reality that the boy's parents have to take the initiative, pursue endlessly with (suitable) girls' parents and, also calmly swallow the many ego-hurts which the girls' parents (usually, the mothers) cause to the boy's parents. Also, parents (I am writing about tabras mainly) who have both a son and a daughter of marriageable age, hurry to conduct their son's marriage first, and at any cost but they are confident that the daughter will definitely get a suitable "varan" without difficulty.
Some one or two decades ago, one used to hear parents in such situation saying "பொண் கல்யாணத்துக்கு நிக்கறபோது பிள்ளைக்கு முதலிலெ கல்யாணம் பண்ணுவாளோ?" (When the daughter is waiting for marriage, will it be correct to get the son married first?).

That situation has vanished.

 

[renuka]

A youth at his mid 20's gave a try to smoke cigarette with the help of his friends and learned well how to smoke. Then he started getting the feeling of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" and become a regular smoker.

A youth at his mid 20's happened to attend a cocktail party and tried few drinks to know how can he feel after some drinks. Then he started liking the taste and the kick and continued to become an active drinker. That is, drinking during every weekend because at the end of the week he gets the feelings of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" towards weekend drinking.


A person happened to eat KFC Chicken and French Fries offered by a friend and liked the taste. Now for him "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" often and he opts for KFC bites for his lunch or dinner, 2 to 3 times a week.

People get the feeling of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" and opt for it when it is something great that they could like it. And even get addicted to it.


Similarly, girls get "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings towards a guy "to marry" Only and Only if the guy is a jackpot for her. "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings strikes her ONLY and ONLY if the guy has much higher qualification than the girl's, he earns around 10 Lakh to 15Lakh per year and he is ready to forget his parents and settle down with his wife for ever.

If these three points are found in a guy, ALL the girls will have "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Feelings For Him". Such a way that, these girls will start liking his each and every move and style no matter if they really are so catchy. Yeah, truly very truly they would like everything of him and "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" feelings would keep pulsating in her, every second.


Oh Yeah, also all the girl's Chemistry and Frequency would match with such a guy so perfectly as if they are made for each other.


LOL!!!

Don't tell me that guys don't have any specifications when it comes to their future wife?

Don't tell me that being the same caste alone is the only criteria?

I am sure guys want more than "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" itself.

The might have a list of their own too..starting to posses a girl whose vision has never fallen onto any male and much much more.

All I can say both guys and girls are being choosy but not admitting it and blaming each other.

Has any guy or girl actually taken the trouble to get to know a prospective bride/groom by having a friendly chat instead of always running to mummy or papa to look into marriage??

I am not suggesting love marriages.. but take time to also know a potential arranged marriage candidate.

Act fast and now..for "Kal Ho Naa Ho"!

 

[kunjuppu]

what is kuch kuch hot hai? is it a new type of hot feeling?

i removed the 'a' from the word, as in tamil, this is a very bad word.

 

[sangom]

what is kuch kuch hot hai? is it a new type of hot feeling?

i removed the 'a' from the word, as in tamil, this is a very bad word.

Dear Kunjuppu,

I am of the view that there is no such great KKHH in reality, but one cinema has somehow influenced the minds of a large number of minds. This is just like religion (see the posts in this thread). There is no rational proof in both cases, just a belief-that's all.

In practice both boys and girls may take a liking for some girls and some boys out of the many they see - in real life and also in photos of matrimony sites. They are lucky if they get to marry one whom they so like; but even if it is not so, it is 'business as usual' once the marriage is over, but nowadas there can be this divorsAsura coming like a storm or wheel (as in Krishnavatharam stories!) and powdering the whole family alliance.

Hence KKHH is only in the theoretical realm. BTW, so long as h is there, will hota be a bad word in Tamil? Just my ignorance, pl?

 

[Raji Ram]

what is kuch kuch hot hai? is it a new type of hot feeling?

i removed the 'a' from the word, as in tamil, this is a very bad word.

:noidea: about that word!!

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Refer Renu's post 89:

My list was not exhaustive. This is what I stated: "soft" issues like good character, good family, etc. So, I have not missed anything.

I do not wanna go into KKHH or KHNH. That is for Mr.P.Chidambaram to state in his budget speeches (LOL) like he once said, "Main hoon na".

 

[Raji Ram]

I have one genuine doubt! Everyone says that the search is on for a good family and the search goes on

and on for years together! Does it mean that each one thinks that all other families are NOT good?? :noidea:

 

[Raji Ram]

Welcome Siva Sir! Probably you found this thread very interesting!!

 

[amala]

Why do some people have such a cynical attitude towards "chemistry", "frequency" and wavelengths. Are these all really imaginary things then?!

 

[zebra16]

Why do some people have such a cynical attitude towards "chemistry", "frequency" and wavelengths. Are these all really imaginary things then?!

May be because there is difficulty in measuring them.