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Woman's Days special

krish44

Well-known member
It might be view of some that feminism,and girls aspiring for escape from rigid Brahmin households are damaging themselves.They
are status quo loving seniors wanting male
power to crush women liberation.
The parents want women to work for MNC making lakhs but not adopt western clothes or party on weekend with friends .Most prefer to breathe free and date whom they fancy with no caste or religious mumbo jumbo limiting their choice.Some succeed.Others succumb to parents blackmail and marry some dumb mommy's boy.Lol
 

naithru

Active member
Girls often forego their high salaried jobs to be a cook, house maintenance that includes cleaning the bathrooms, vessels, washing and ironing too, carpet cleaning etc, The men expects hot food on the dining table as if they are only professionally qualified. He says I am leaving the car to you to take care of children in the schools and provision and vegetables for cooking. Does not even lift his finger in helping. In that case what do you expect from the girls. why at all they want a qualified girl, they can as well settle for a +10 girls as house maid. and moreover he has been advised / instructions (about the girl) from his parents over phone.
 

Kodukku

Member
It might be view of some that feminism,and girls aspiring for escape from rigid Brahmin households are damaging themselves.They
Of course, everyone may have their own opinion but that need not be the truth.

There are news about the growing number of applications seeking divorce in the family courts.. Perhaps as soon as the young who aspire for so called liberalism, right of gender equality, freedom of expression, etc etc, may likely to end up seeking divorce like that of moths, as soon as their 'HONEYMOON ' is over. lol

This may be the ground reality.

And there are few, who under the guise of freedom, liberalism, right of gender equality, wish to break their marriage and walk away out of the relationship. Some of them prefer dating with new male partners and worst they change their husbands even for a cause of drop of a hat. Perhaps their choice is living with new partner is the spice of their life. Of course, we have too many reasons like liberalism, right of gender equality, etc to come to the aid of such women of alleged modern thoughts. lol.

One can name lot of celebrities who have changed their partners, of course, not for
certainly reasons of being respected which is mutual. But there may be more reasons like ego playing major role, being more materialistic, self-centered, having lot of secrets linked with pre-marital affairs, high expectations, etc. They tend to blame the In-laws, forgetting the fact that NO ONE IS PERFECT.
Least bothered about the alleged self-righteous members who won’t accept all these.lol
 
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naithru

Active member
and you know very well about Indian Cooking spending more time in the kitchen, It is not like chennai, if you want a dosa or idly just walk across the road you get readymade batter, for idly and dosa on monday , you have to soak the rice and dhall on friday, grind in a mixie on weekends, and idly on sunday and dosa on monday, when in madras, the girls do not enter the kitchen as they have to score well from 9th onwards till they comple professional course, that too in tamilnadu where the reservation rules and so on....
 

krish44

Well-known member
Best what parents can do is to leave well

educated career girls alone and let them

make their own choice .boy they want to
Shares.Integrated
spend their lives with.They will learn thru

their experience.

The role of parents ceases and they should

not thrust their choice on them

Such marriages will be more stable and

lasting
 

naithru

Active member
agreed, let girls decide their spouses,. and that leads to more separation as the boy listens to his parents, courtship is different and married life comes with lot of responsibilities, keeping the house in clean state, bringing up children , cooking, washing etc ., its a 24 hours job, Women have their untold miseries, is it that easy to get separated after marriage?? with small children and the society at large .....
no sir , shri.Krish44 not that easy, accept we celebrate womens day , but we dont give a helping hand to them.
 

krish44

Well-known member
What works best is stay near girls parents but not under the same roof.
If a girl marries a mindless mommy's boy she is likely to suffer unless she moulds him
to her requirement.
 

Janaki Jambunathan

Well-known member
What works best is stay near girls parents but not under the same roof.
If a girl marries a mindless mommy's boy she is likely to suffer unless she moulds him
to her requirement.
My take on this. Freedom has a cost and life an expire date . So the parents have to take the a decision - depending on their health ,mobility and financial viability! I have have 2 establishments one in Madras at a close distance to my son's flat in OMR Another Villa in Madurai I stay for about 3 months in each of them in an year and the rest of the periods It is locked. and for the 3 months my stay in Banglore I occupy my flat on rent since it is leased out as Service Apartment - It is occupied and generates income when I am not there - as per deed it is available for 3 months(maximum) in a year for my occupation on rent.

This may not be a possible solution for many Forget about the monetary loss - maintenance is a pain ! I can bear the cost of freedom but mobility and health is beyond my planning! When my health fails believe me I will move into their flats where there is a extra room is there kept ready for me!

I know my d in laws don't need my financial support but I am always available for their emotional support a shoulder for them to cry out !
 
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tbs

Well-known member
My take on this. Freedom has a cost and life an expire date . So the parents have to take the a decision - depending on their health ,mobility and financial viability! I have have 2 establishments one in Madras at a close distance to my son's flat in OMR Another Villa in Madurai I stay for about 3 months in each of them in an year and the rest of the periods It is locked. and for the 3 months my stay in Banglore I occupy my flat on rent since it is leased out as Service Apartment - It is occupied and generates income when I am not there - as per deed it is available for 3 months(maximum) in a year for my occupation on rent.

This may not be a possible solution for many Forget about the monetary loss - maintenance is a pain ! I can bear the cost of freedom but mobility and health is beyond my planning! When my health fails believe me I will move into their flats where there is a extra room is there kept ready for me!

I know my d in laws don't need my financial support but I am always available for their emotional support a shoulder for them to cry out !
hi

i agreed,,,,nothing is free....freedom comes with cost....
 

KRN

Active member
Women, if truly independent, should be able to take responsibility to manage their future on their own. But that is not what we often see in real life. In India, a man once married to a woman, is saddled with her for life. Even if she divorces him after, let us say, a month, or simply deserts him and starts living with another male (with or without divorcing her husband), the law as it is currently interpreted in India, states that the husband has to continue to provide maintenance to her until he is able to provide proof in court that she has formally married another male (when the baton shifts to that man). Just imagine the plight of a husband who has to provide maintenance (perhaps for years) to his wife of two weeks duration, now living in open adultery with her lover. This behaviour on the part of the woman, is perfectly in line with the law. But when we talk about "independent woman", this behaviour is far removed from true independence.

In fact the above 'baton shift', wherein a husband (even if divorced, whether due to his or her fault) has to maintain his ex-wife until she is saddled onto another man through a legal marriage, is simply a working out of what Manu stated in yore "Na Stree Swatantryam Arhati".
 

KRN

Active member
Similarly there are many other laws, ostensibly created for good reasons, but are blatantly misused by women in India. I do not blame the women for this. They are often misinformed. They forget that the law courts are there to ultimately benefit the one group whose livelihood is based on the courts - the lawyers. It is in the interests of the lawyer community that more and more cases get clogged up in the courts, but as for the litigants themselves, man or woman, it will be too late before they realise that they gain nothing, while they have wasted precious time and energy in the courts.
 

Kodukku

Member
Similarly there are many other laws, ostensibly created for good reasons, but are blatantly misused by women in India. I do not blame the women for this. They are often misinformed. They forget that the law courts are there to ultimately benefit the one group whose livelihood is based on the courts - the lawyers. It is in the interests of the lawyer community that more and more cases get clogged up in the courts, but as for the litigants themselves, man or woman, it will be too late before they realise that they gain nothing, while they have wasted precious time and energy in the courts.

You are right sir, I agree with you.

It is nothing but misuse/exploitation of law by taking advantage.

As for alimony, it is gender neutral. As per the Hindu Marriage Act, both the husband and wife are legally entitled for alimony. It is to support the member who does not have a job or earning.

But in practice, it is mostly males who suffer because of this Act and penalized legally and financially.

If someone authors Books with title 'How to break a romantic marriage relationship in 30 days' or How to get divorce from husband soon, such books will be Best seller in the market. lol

Though someone said that there is no loneliness than that of a failed marriage, the population of divorcees is growing with the umpteen number of serials aired in different TV channels adding fuel to fire.


Here is an article on How Indian women misuse the law for divorce
Link: https://www.dailyo.in/politics/divorce-marriage-relationships-indian-women-section-498-a-dowry-cases/story/1/8766.html
 
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Janaki Jambunathan

Well-known member
I had 2 phone calls last night around 9 PM from my 2 D in Laws on the same topic காரடையான் நோம்பு! - exact time to perform this ritual - lead me to ponder -
we 3 (Me and my 2 D in Ls) have similar attitude - Woman's day is our commitment and K நோம்பு is our convention - No contradiction!
 

naithru

Active member
Naithru Sir has to know the plight of young Indian husbands living abroad!!
yes I know about the plights as long as the boy remains a moms boy and do not listen to his spouse.
In US girls keep in the fridge monday, tuesday and so on marked boxes, yet they want fresh food at the dining table. girls working in IT companies, Team Leader does not differentiate between boy or girl. All he wants is completion of projects, coding etc.,
Yet cooking is the responsibility of householder, and raising of children, keep the house in spic and span.
 

naithru

Active member
Girl thinks about four letter dreaded words, (viz) cook, wash, iron, dust
Where as boy thinks about his own four letter word, need I say more,
Madam Raji, I am for the girl's plight in household duties.
 

tbs

Well-known member
yes I know about the plights as long as the boy remains a moms boy and do not listen to his spouse.
In US girls keep in the fridge monday, tuesday and so on marked boxes, yet they want fresh food at the dining table. girls working in IT companies, Team Leader does not differentiate between boy or girl. All he wants is completion of projects, coding etc.,
Yet cooking is the responsibility of householder, and raising of children, keep the house in spic and span.
hi

just to add....girl ONLY deliver the child......the husband has to carry CAR SEAT /STROLLER IN EVERY MALL/

EVERYWHERE in USA...including to temples...
 

naithru

Active member
Dear tbs,
Besh Besh, I was thinking wife is a lifepartner, and both will share and it seems she has to slog, taking the stroller with baby she has to carry??, Husband will not lift his little finger to help her?? already cooking, taking care of the children schooling, including the bathrooms , carpet cleaning etc, foregoing a lucrative job to take care of the children in bringing them up a showpiece of children to relatives upholding Hindu traditions etc, and husband is not in india to boss over the wife. why dont you learn from americans how they are helping their partners. Family is Father And Mother I Love You. Do you not vow to share during wedding??
MS
 

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