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pithru karyam performance at home

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He who denies to do pitrhu karyam is forbidden to have birth as brahmin in next 7 generations" - yajur veda..

So kindly dont avoid pitru karyams....

Earnest appeal to all folks....

Sri Swaminathasharma,

You have quoted Yajur veda "forbidden to have birth as brahmin in next 7 generations". What is the meaning of that? Nobody can be a brahmin by birth. I don't think brahmin 'caste' existed at the time when those words were written. I beg to disagree with those words altogether.
 
once again thanks for your inputs

Dear moderator,

I believe the purpose of my thoughts to be conveyed through the thread is achieved. I am happy to know that there are like thinking individuals.

A thread will break if too much load is put on it. So, I believe it is time to close this thread. Can you do it? or should I do it.

Please let me know

regards,
 
Namassadhasae.

Earlier also, I have made one posting, commencing with the words
'கல் ஊனி காரியம் நடத்த அனுமதிப்பதில்லை'. First day dahahanam (cremation) no problem. The procession can be from one's house. In Chennai, most people live in flat kind of culture. In the case of prathyabdheegam (annual sradhdham), no problem and this can be performed at one's house. Regarding aparam for the other 11 days, except persons who have the luxury of space, i.e. independent house (totally independent), the sampradayam of stone planting at one's house is followed, followed by all the other days (11 days aparam and the last 13th day as suba sweekaram). This suba sweekaram (graegyam) invariably is performed at one's house, by all. In the case of normal persons, who do not have that kind of luxurious space, do the apara karma on all days (upto 12th - sapindikaraNam), in a savadi, which is organized and run mostly by various charities.
10th day pathu, performed in the savadi and that evening or on 13th day, a ceremoney of 'slogam vasithal', declaring the thithi of the deceased and this will be given to kartha in the form of a slokam.

This is one accepted practice in Chennai.

One more point relevant in the subject is : 'Let the persons not directly connected (other than persons who have bathyathai) not put into any inconvenience', since they may have to hear the apara manthras. This will be considered as 'asubham' by many persons and to avoid this embarasment also, these karyams are arranged in savadis. No humanity issue comes here.

In the case of rented houses, the tenants are not permanent.

Even for performing sradhdhams, own gruham, a place which is atleast paid/owned for this purpose for the day(s) is prescribed and OK, as per our smartha sampradaya (both Apasthamba & Bodhayanar soothrams). For people in north, I hear, no stipulations are strictly followed and they do pithru karma at the time of mahalaya amavasai, like NBs. I am not sure about the practice in North or else. But, I am sure the system followed in Tamilnadu, particularly Chennai, which is as explained by me pls.

'அவரவர் இச்சையில் எவை எவை உற்றவை அவை தருவித்தருள்
பெருமாளே! - திருவக்கரை திருப்புகழ் '
 
Pithru kariyam

In these days performing pithru kariyam in home has become dream come true:lalala: Iam not joking its serious , especialley getting bramhins(Vadhiyar)and cook and three brmanartham men have become very expensive, so automatically people opt for going to madams where the madam arranges all in contract basis, but some people dont prefer that becoz they want to do that in home itself:scared:
This situavation has rised due to vadiyars who demand big money for every thing, in sastaram it self it is clearly mentioned a bramhin should not demand any thing and have to get what they give , but we should also be resonable. But today vadhiyars are speaking like local rowdys. its true, recently iwent in search for a vadhiyar where that man said iam a expert in everything and my cook is also expert so you dont think us odinary vadhiyar, i was wondering, y this man saying like this , and after he demanded a huge money only i came to know bcoz of this only he was a expert before itself, see how people have changed today, I accept that he is also having a family we should also consider that befor giving him money. but these guys are not for that resonable , they by earning in this want to buy car home and live luxury life. this is selfishness, even i have personal experiance in this , Once some time back we were not financialy sound , we arranged a srabtham for my grandfather my father has to do that while giving money to vadhiyar and cook,bramanartham they demanded more but we were not in a position to offer them, instantly they started cursing us. we felt very bad:love: but now i can do even in golden homagundam that is different but i fed up the way bramhins have changed and felt ashamed to tell iam a bramhin. this is the excat fact. My request is instead of going behind this selfish people we can arrange a food donation in the name of the dead person so lot of foodless childrennwill be happy that day and the dead people will also rest in peace and wish us.:tinfoil3:
 
Pithru Karyam performance at home.

Sir,
I entirely agree that the 'SASTRIGALS' in Brahmin community have become
very greedy now a days and demand heavy amounts just like auto rickshas
drivers.Even among them some are found to be very reasonable.
The main reason is there is allround degeneration in Society and we cannot blame any particular group of people.
I perform annual Sradha ceremonies of my parents in Raghavendra Madam
and I find lots of 'SMARTHA' brahmins like me come there for performing
Sradha ceremonies.They charge only Rs.225/ and allow two persons to take meals. You have to pay for additional members.
B.Krishnamurthy
 
Namassadhasae.

If you like to know about apasthamba suthra sradhdha prayogam, I have a book - with manthras in sanskrit and tamil with meaning, authored by learned persons. I know only about yajur vedham - apasthamba suthram, since I belong to this group. Similarly for Apara prayogam also. Please confirm.


அவரவர் இச்சையில் எவை எவை உற்றவை அவை தருவித்தருள் பெருமாளே!
 
I am a tamil brahmin who has moved to chennai recently.

I have observed that in chennai, the owners (especially if they are brahmins) do not allow pithru karyams like masyam and shrardham ( I am not talking about the first 13 days rituals after death) to be performed at home by the tenants. This is not the case in other cities outside tamil nadu. I have stayed in mumbai and hyderabad, where people are most acceptable and friendly.

I have also observed majority people doing pithru karyams at public venues reserved for this purpose. Shouldn't this be the last resort? that is, if there are unavoidable circumstances at home, one can understand. It is considered auspicious if these rituals are performed at home. can someone tell me why chennai isn't open to it?
This is a belated response but I came across this only now.

I understand that in Chennai many landlords do not allow pitrukarmas to be done in rented premises; more than water charges and all that, this sort of objection seems to have originated from two points:

1. The performance of pitrukarma/sraaddham "will invite alien pitrus (read ghosts) to my dear, dear house and it may not go away and so subsequently, I will have to do some parihaaram in order to get rid of it".

2. The performance of sraaddha homam by someone else is inauspicious for the house.

This seems to me to be a be well-founded (!) fear because, whereas the house owner has the court and legal remedies to evict the living tenant, he does not have similar avenues open to evict the pitrus who may get a liking to live in the rented house of their descendant.
I am also told that such fears are harboured more by the womenfolk and men have to dutifully obey. When some home owners put such restrictions on their tenants all others followed suit so that they don't become fools!

Elders held the view that aparakarma and sraaddha should be performed in one's own house except in those pilgrimage places like Kasi, Gaya and Rameswaram. According to them (elders of the previous generations) sraaddha and aparakarma performed in someone else's house (except that of a sapinda jnaati) will not reach the pitrus. So, to believe one portion of the belief saying we are doing it for our satisfaction and neglecting the other half of the traditionally held belief that such rituals should be done in specified places only, is left to the sweet will of the present day religiousness of brahmins.

Apart from all these considerations, I have observed that the items prepared for a variety of rituals in mandapams are dealt with in the most careless (it is rank "asraddha" to the core) manner by the employees. They look at it no better than a cook or server of a wayside hotel will look at his job. In one instance I found that what was left of the pinda rice preparation from a ceremony for a "durmarana" by drowning, was immediately transferred to another vessel and given to another group which was probably doing the 11th. day ceremony!

I personally feel that instead of fooling ourselves and enriching the vaadhyaars and mandapam authorities, the money can be better utilized in doing something good to inmates of orphanages and old age homes, etc. Here also there are many money-making enterprises and we do not know which are reliable; so instead of giving money we should invariably buy the clothes, arrange for food and see that it is actually given to each inmate. We can do take at least this much strain for our parents'/ancestors' memory.
 
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That is exactly what I was looking for. I too am from Yajur Vedam-Aapastamba Suthram Group.
Let me know how this particular book can be accessed.


Nanri.
 
Dear All

Pranams. I wish to share this incident that took place at Chennai in Aug 2010. My elder B-i-l passed away at Africa. His family stays at Chennai in a rented apartment. All the other residents of that apartment happen to be brahmins. They came together and told us in strict terms that we cannot perform any karyam there as the building is a new one and though there was enough space/facilities we were forced to do it in Beasant Nagar place. There it is a fully commercialised version. I am not from Chennai and since I had earlier seen these things back at home, I knew the difference that took place. I am not blaming/finding fault with anybody, but the fact remains that:

1. many of us do not know that we can do such things at home, we think that these are bad happenings, so we should educate ourselves thru such forums.
2. places outside such as the one mentioned are run on purely commercial basis. Hence we must see if we can do something to run such places on a not for profit basis.(maybe it is too late to think of such options in an already existing infrastructure!!)
 
anusha,

why is death 'bad'?

if one has to be born, one also has to die, in order to give place to others in this planet. is this not the circle of life?

i think, nowadays, we are so ignorant, that we have fear built up on us, that we tend to be timid, and scared of everything but our jobskills.

maybe we should relax a bit, and start believing, that the rituals are for the mental comfort of the liviing. the dead have to pay for what they did in this earth ie no let off for the scoundrels. the good ones will get their due reward, regardless whether we do our karyams or not.

in this context, it does not matter where or how we do our karyams. our faith and heart needs to be sincere. take care.
 
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anusha,

why is death 'bad'?

if one has to be born, one also has to die, in order to give place to others in this planet. is this not the circle of life?

i think, nowadays, we are so ignorant, that we have fear built up on us, that we tend to be timid, and scared of everything but our jobskills.

maybe we should relax a bit, and start believing, that the rituals are for the mental comfort of the liviing. the dead have to pay for what they did in this earth ie no let off for the scoundrels. the good ones will get their due reward, regardless whether we do our karyams or not.

in this context, it does not matter where or how we do our karyams. our faith and heart needs to be sincere. take care.
Shri Kunjuppu,

I agree that the pitru kAryama are basically a matter of faith. In mattters of faith, as you yourself had probably remaked once earlier, logic has no place. You say that "the dead have to pay for what they did in this earth ie no let off for the scoundrels. the good ones will get their due rewardhttp://www.tamilbrahmins.com/#, regardless whether we do our karyams or not." What if someone else goes one step further and believes that unless we do the "kAryams" here the 'scoundrels' may get very cruelly punished and that what we do will go to help them in mitigating the punishment/s or at the least help them bear those punishments, that will be his faith, will it not be? How can we say your faith is correct and the rest are not?

It is in this unfathomable ocean of "beliefs" that doing the pitru karma in some places is not considered good etc. Hence, in my view, we should leave each one to consider and choose to what extent he/she should believe and leave it at that.
 
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Shri Kunjuppu,

I agree that the pitru kAryama are basically a matter of faith. In mattters of faith, as you yourself had probably remaked once earlier, logic has no place. You say that "the dead have to pay for what they did in this earth ie no let off for the scoundrels. the good ones will get their due rewardhttp://www.tamilbrahmins.com/#, regardless whether we do our karyams or not." What if someone else goes one step further and believes that unless we do the "kAryams" here the 'scoundrels' may get very cruelly punished and that what we do will go to help them in mitigating the punishment/s or at the least help them bear those punishments, that will be his faith, will it not be? How can we say your faith is correct and the rest are not?

It is in this unfathomable ocean of "beliefs" that doing the pitru karma in some places is not considered good etc. Hence, in my view, we should leave each one to consider and choose to what extent he/she should believe and leave it at that.

i bow before this infinite wisdom. thank you.

anusha, much apologies for any residual hard feelings.

thanks again sangom sir.
 
Sir,
I don't think all people living rented accommodation facing this problem. May be some house owners object to this. Performing rituals in no way spoil cleanliness of the surroundings. House owners should gracefully allow the tenants to do such rituals.
 
Hi,
I find this as a good question. Because, recently, my father passed away and i was informed by the Vathiyar's that the tenants dont allow especially the 13 days karyam at home and had to do outside. But, asked for a reason, it seems to be trivial as they think there will be lot of smoke on the 11th day etc... But, i couldnt get any place to do the same, and i came to know from elders that we cant keep him hungry and its better to start the rituals right away. Fortunately, though i stay in an apartment ( owned of course) with more than 600, none of them objected and they actually supported that i did at home (except the 11th day). One thing i found out, the places outside we book are not very clean and one of the reason for my father's death also includes Leptosphirosis, a virus, you can get from the rat urine etc... So, the way i see it, apart from intention and faith we also need to take care of the health and sanitation and the place we do it.
My understanding from this, is that vadiyar's also make it a point to do it outside as a contract as i see it as their business.
Usually, srarthams are never a problem, only the 13 days are noted to be objected ( according to the people whom i spoke to and didnt happen in my case).

So, my humble point would be look at the whole bigger picture in this issue than picking out points here and there.

PS: the 11th day when i went outside to do it, i understood the problems for the kartha and easiness for the vathiyars. Its not a place where we should be doing this, as its totally unclean and unhygenic.
Thanks
 
I am ramani from ch 24.
I performed my fathers karyam upto 12 th day at gnanavapi t nagar.
I feel that though you are provided seperate rooms etc the rice and other items are prepared commanly and i observe it is not prepared with sanctity.
According to sasthras two theetu persons are not supposed to touch each other.which is not possible at gnanavapi.feeding the relatives on the tenth day at gnanavapi is also correct as the entire area is under theetu.
At brahma theertham royapuram it is still worst.
Is there any better place in chennai
 
I am ramani from ch 24.
I performed my fathers karyam upto 12 th day at gnanavapi t nagar.
I feel that though you are provided seperate rooms etc the rice and other items are prepared commanly and i observe it is not prepared with sanctity.
According to sasthras two theetu persons are not supposed to touch each other.which is not possible at gnanavapi.feeding the relatives on the tenth day at gnanavapi is also correct as the entire area is under theetu.
At brahma theertham royapuram it is still worst.
Is there any better place in chennai

Our own member [email protected] is associated with a similar service organisation at Tambaram. Please send a personal message to him. Probably he can help you.

All the best
 
there used to be on brahma theertham in triplicane, not sure of the exact location. i did my dad's ceremonies there and found that each family's cooking was done individually. it may still be there and offer the same individual services.

the services in royapuram has always been awful. i have been there long ago for my granma's ceremonies (no matrilineal uncles) and even as a teenager, found it wanting.

forget about cleanliness, taste, and hygiene. i guess those departed don't care. the folks invited to eat, appear not to care. me and my family, closed our eyes, and swallowed a few morsels. we did not drink the water.
 
Dear Vijay sir,

If at all, houseowners say like this, might be the reasosn are (which you are curious to know)

1. water scarcity
2. avoidance of overcrowd
3. over aachara requirement for these kind of ceremonies

:nono:

Pranams
I fully endorse your views. The reason may also be the outcome of owner tenent ego. There are still such owners who dictate terms for our day today affairs taking upperhand as owners.Kindly try to get a better accomodation nearby whichwill alluviate all your problems quoted and unquoted.
 
This is just an appeal. Are there any good places where we can do the Shrardham / Pithru Thidhi where we will get cook, vadhyars , arrangements etc. This data may be required for cities like Bangalore, Mumbai, Kolkatta etc This will be helpful for those who get transferred and not able to figure it out in a short time
 
Pithru karyam

Sir:

Apart from the one at Triplicane mentioned by my friend, the Besant Nagar
facility is very good. Madhya Kailas is another clean place and I am told
they do all the annual ceremony also sincerely and the place is clean.
Those who are living abroad do the annual shrardha of their pithrus at
Madhya Kailas and they have some sort of scheme for this purpose.
 
As for as Bangalore is concerned there are people who help in conducting shrardham in their places on a turn key basis.In chamrajpet area the Sringeri Sankara matam renders service in this regard.
 
pithru karyam performance

Facilities are available to perform Pitru Karyam in the following place in Bangalore:
Vaidika Dharma Sahaya Sabha
+(91)-(80)-23342170
No.40, Gayathri Devi Park Extension,
16th Cross, Vyalikaval,
Malleswaram, Bangalore - 560003

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
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