Nice words

[talwan]

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I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

 

[talwan]

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

 

[talwan]

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

 

[talwan]

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

 

[talwan]

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

 

[talwan]

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

 

[talwan]

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

[talwan]

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Thanks for sharing so many nice words Alwan

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

One should not get distanced in life from Faith/Trust, Promise, Relation and Heart
feelings as they in the longer run brings unbearable pains to the life.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[talwan]

Bushu,
I started this thread.It was given 5* by our friend Mrs Vishalakshi Ramani. She also posted some nice quotes. To sustain this thread I am posting mor and more in this.
Alwan

Thanks for sharing so many nice words Alwan

 

[talwan]

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[TD] Eight steps for developing your sense of humor


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1. Gain an awareness and knowledge of the benefits of humor. Adopting a humorous outlook takes both a change in attitude and behavior.
2. Identify inappropriate humor. Avoid it. This is any type of humor that can be perceived as offensive to others. Humor should not be divisive.
3. Get to know what amuses you. What type of humor works for you on the job? What feels comfortable for you? Never tell a joke or a story unless you like it yourself and think it is really funny. It must be genuine.
4. Do a humor history on yourself. List favorite jokes, comedians, styles of humor, humorous situations that happened to you, TV shows, and movies.
5. Keep a file of humorous anecdotes, stories, jokes, and cartoons.
6. You need to be somewhat of a risk taker to start using humor or to use it more. Working humor into your routine is a process and not an event.
7. Allow yourself to be silly.
8. Surround yourself with people who have a humorous, positive outlook, and most of all, learn to laugh at yourself.

 

[talwan]

Posts: 16


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[TD] Marriage Humor



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Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

 

[talwan]

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'

 

[talwan]

Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

 

[talwan]

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

 

[talwan]

A pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
A lady stood up and walked to the podium. She said, “I have praise. Two months ago my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck. His scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, “Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece the crushed remnants of Jim’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”
Again the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim and the wire wrapping he has. She continued, “Now Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time his scrotum should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.
A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, “Good morning, I’m Jim and I want to tell my wife – ONCE AGAIN the word is STERNUM!”

 

[talwan]

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

[talwan]

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

 

[talwan]

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 

[talwan]

For an artist to marry his model is as fatal as for a gourmet to marry his cook: the one gets no sittings, and the other gets no dinners.
Oscar Wilde
(1854-1900)

 

[talwan]

"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

 

[talwan]

"When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

 

[talwan]

"The secret of life is not to do what you like, but to like what you do."

 

[talwan]

"Love is not about who you live with. It's about who you can't live without."