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How should we overcome our desires?

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Sri. Raju, Greetings.

I am sorry, I took this long to address your message in post #274. My mind was not at peace. So, I chose not to write anything which I may regret later. Secondly, I did not want any of my personal bitter experiences reflect in the message. So, I withdrew myself from any discussion in this thread. Now I have found peace. I could concede defeat in the recent struggle. I am only very happy I did not get into arguments inspite of so much provoking. Your message is just brilliant. That was very well said. After reading your message few times, my wife asked me where I place that 'Lakshman Rekha'. I explained where I placed that and explained her why. She said she couldn't wait for me to post it. She is very eager to see the feedback.

To say in short, your mge is just the jist of the whole thread. My response has to be in three parts. First part deals with 'what is life?'; second part deals with 'what is desire?'; third part deals with 'what is Lakshman Rekha and where to place it for the best effect'. I will be writing them as I know as we go along. I am seeking guidance from learned members, please. Thank you.

Cheers!

Dear Raghy,

I am waiting for you to complete your three part presentation to give my views/feedback.

Cheers.
 
Dear Raghy,

I am waiting for you to complete your three part presentation to give my views/feedback.

Cheers.

Dear Sri. Raju, Greetings.

Thanks for your feedback. Your views would be wonderful. But as I said in the message to Amirtha, I would address her message in full before going to the second part of my message. Her point of view is quite compeling. Kindly bear with me, please. Thank you.

Cheers!
 
hi
WHO AM I?,,,,,,,,,,,,HOW TO OVER COME MY DESIRES....

There seems to be some short term memory loss cos just last few weeks your memory had been fine where you wrote about your stint in the army....do not drink..wrote about PTSD in ex service men you had known...now all of a sudden you are asking

WHO AM I?

Just to refresh your memory...

You are TBS Garu as far as I know who has Phd is Advaita/Sanskrit.

You are TB forum member.

You are a Smartha Brahmin.


Your next question:

HOW TO OVERCOME MY DESIRES?

This is strange cos a person with memory loss wont ask this question..he will instead ask "WHAT DESIRES?"

So TBS garu what happened yaar?
 
hi
WHO AM I?,,,,,,,,,,,,HOW TO OVER COME MY DESIRES....

Dear TBS garu.

Who am I ..Kah Aham(Ko ham)

The answer as you know in religious texts is Sah Aham(So ham).

Once a person knows the answer to this(right now most of us don't know it yet) the question of desires does not arise anymore.
 
Dear TBS garu.

Who am I ..Kah Aham(Ko ham)

The answer as you know in religious texts is Sah Aham(So ham).

Once a person knows the answer to this(right now most of us don't know it yet) the question of desires does not arise anymore.
hi
these questions meant for somebody.. i got in my pm.....so im answering here....meant for somebidy....he will give answer.....

these put in some other thread....that thread very peculiar in a manner...so he suggested here....u can see later for these

questions....
 
Dear Friend,

I personally felt same way. But when you start controlling things are bad to worse. When I took this issue with my aacharian he gave an excellent answer. Fine there is a big difference between knowing and realising. Everyone knows what is right and wrong. But they cannot practice because they did not realise. Only with realisation one can conquer our desire. Now for every action of ours is determined by karma. This karma gives the oppurtunity to do good or bad. But where as we have budhdhi which tells us which is right and which wrong. But again karma or you can say fate plays a vital role in deciding our action. VINAASA KAALE VIBAREETHA BUDHDHI.

So you can say that we donot have control over our action. Actually speaking YES. For instantance Dharmaputra wanted peace. But the fate was that he must be responsible for several people's death. How contrasting it is! So when Duryodana invited him for gamble, he did not refuse as he wanted to avoid any friction. But the fate is so great it made use of the good intension of Dharmaputra.

But still we have a great chance to overcome everything that is surrender yourself to lords feet. Rest he will take care.

Warm Regards

Aacharianthiruvadi
 
Let me put in a bit of what I think about "How should we overcome our desires?". Analyze each of your desires logically/rationally. If you come to the conclusion that the benefits outweigh the risks and consequences and if you are doubly sure you can afford to satisfy that desire financially, venture into it, otherwise stop thinking about that desire even.
 
Let me put in a bit of what I think about "How should we overcome our desires?". Analyze each of your desires logically/rationally. If you come to the conclusion that the benefits outweigh the risks and consequences and if you are doubly sure you can afford to satisfy that desire financially, venture into it, otherwise stop thinking about that desire even.

Sri. Sangom, Greetings.

Sir, you have mentioned about how one should indulge in a desire. That is not overcoming the desire.

For example, I love JD ( Jack Daniels bourbon whisky). I drink it during every break.. that's almost once every week. It's like a ritual. But the present block of shifts run for 9 days.. I can have JD only on the 10th day..... that's almost 12 days after the last drink. I have the bottle in the pantry. But I wouldn't even look at that stuff until I get my break. That is an example of overcoming my desire. Financially it should be possible, nil adverse consequences, nil risk... if I still refrain from a desire, that is overcoming the desire.

Cheers!
 
hi
WHO AM I?,,,,,,,,,,,,HOW TO OVER COME MY DESIRES....

Sri. TBS, Greetings.

I am going to focus only on " Who Am I?" at present, please. 'Overcoming desire' may wait for the time being.

The question 'Who am I?' can not be answered in a short paragraph. It involves analysing ourselves from various scenarios. The physical aspect, psychological aspect and the personal ethical and values ( for some, it is spiritual) are to be taken into account. Even then, it can be only conditional.

When we consider the physical aspect, that is loukeekam, the body some of the following aspects play a role. The physical "I" is initially a son to my mother & father; brother to my siblings; lover to my spouse; father to my children; student all the time; friend to few persons; not so friendly to few persons... in every role I have certain responsibilities and certain privileges. How good or how not so good I conduct myself in any of these roles depends upon my mental make up. Also depends upon my exposure to realities, my experience and self-confidence. That is only physical aspect and that too in a normal situation. " I" differs so much depending upon the conditions.

For example.... when she read your post, my wife asked me " who are you?'.... I said I am an animal in part and a 'porukki' in the rest with a bit of human sprinkled on top.

People say if one can answer the question "who am I?", one would become a jnani; some even say one would get paradise! I don't think so.

If we answer the question " who am I?", then we locate our position in this cosmic make-up. That's all. If we are to get a good turn in life, we have to do a good turn to someone else at sometime. Just by analysing ourselves we may not get any good turn.

More to follow. Feedbacks are welcome, please.

Cheers!
 
Sri. Sangom, Greetings.

Sir, you have mentioned about how one should indulge in a desire. That is not overcoming the desire.

For example, I love JD ( Jack Daniels bourbon whisky). I drink it during every break.. that's almost once every week. It's like a ritual. But the present block of shifts run for 9 days.. I can have JD only on the 10th day..... that's almost 12 days after the last drink. I have the bottle in the pantry. But I wouldn't even look at that stuff until I get my break. That is an example of overcoming my desire. Financially it should be possible, nil adverse consequences, nil risk... if I still refrain from a desire, that is overcoming the desire.

Cheers!

Dear Shri Raghy,

I feel, at my age of 72, that all the talk about "overcoming" desires is feasible only if we analyze each of the desires in the way I described, satisfy those which pass the scrutiny and forget (at least try to forget) those which fall outside. As we age and are constantly aware that our presence here in this world is only temporary, it is very likely that our desires also wane and we at last reach a neutral stage vis-a-vis our desires. Then we will have overcome our desires.

Taking the JD example, it is very likely that as you grow older (and do not succumb to alcoholism) you will reach a stage in which you will enjoy JD if available, otherwise it will be okay for you to go without it or any drink. Something like
vayasi gate kaḥ kāmavikāraḥ
śuṣke nīre kaḥ kāsāraḥ
 
Dear Shri Raghy,

I feel, at my age of 72, that all the talk about "overcoming" desires is feasible only if we analyze each of the desires in the way I described, satisfy those which pass the scrutiny and forget (at least try to forget) those which fall outside. As we age and are constantly aware that our presence here in this world is only temporary, it is very likely that our desires also wane and we at last reach a neutral stage vis-a-vis our desires. Then we will have overcome our desires.

Taking the JD example, it is very likely that as you grow older (and do not succumb to alcoholism) you will reach a stage in which you will enjoy JD if available, otherwise it will be okay for you to go without it or any drink. Something like
vayasi gate kaḥ kāmavikāraḥ
śuṣke nīre kaḥ kāsāraḥ

Sri. Sangom, Greetings.

With due respect, I agree with your earlier message too. There are many ways to skin a cat. At certain point in life 'overcoming a desire' can be achieved by adopting the policy "கிட்டாதாயின் வெட்டன மற". There is no doubt about that.

I have been constantly aware we are here ( on this earth) on a temporary basis. But that did not stop me from seeking desires. Matter of fact, it only increased it. Since I am very well aware of the fact today can be my last day, I look at every day as a new day to enjoy.

I was fortunate to feel the bliss one may enjoy at the last minutes. Once I fell off a very tall tree. To make matters worst, that tree was on a knoll. I knew I was falling; I knew I could not grab anything. Before I hit the sandy ground there were a few seconds seemed like a long time due to the infusion of adrenalin. Those seconds were so peaceful! I heard no sound around me. Actually I felt very good ( possibly due to adrenalin). I had a repeat of the experience in 1998. My car suffered a burst front tire at the passenger side and the car went out of control ( I was in a bend). The car was airborne for few seconds off the embankment and went out of control in the scrub. When the car was completely out of control I had the feeling of very peaceful state once again. So, I can imagine my last seconds when they show up.

In the meantime, it is not wrong to enjoy our life.

Our desires will not wane as we age. "Mohangal avasana nimisha vare" ( desires continue to the last minute) ... Even continues after the last minutes ( by our last wish asking for karmas to continue in our memory for many more years to come.... or other desires to rest our soul in peace)! As we age we tend to develop a mentality where we can take it without disappointments if our desires don't eventuate. Actually come to think of it, how many instances did you swallow your desires when you were young for a simple reason கிட்டாதாயின் வெட்டன மற ?

( I did not understand the sanskrit verses).

Cheers!
 
Though you ave addressed your question about the meaning of Sanskrit verse to Sri Sankar Sir, hope you do not mind my reply.

The two lines are from verse 10 of Bhaja Govindam (Sri Sankar sir has given only the first two lines)
You can look at this site for meaning. New Page 3

Quoted from that website

10) Youth, wealth and water evaporate. [Eternal]Truth leads to liberation.
वयसि गते कः कामविकारः
शुष्के नीरे कः कासारः ।
क्षीणे वित्ते कः परिवारो
ज्ञाते तत्त्वे कः संसारः ।।१०।।
Vayasi gate kaḥ kāmavikāraḥ
Śuṣke nīre kaḥ kāsāraḥ
kṣīṇe vitte kaḥ parivāro
jñāte tattve kaḥ samsāraḥ.(10)
वयसि गते * कः * कामविकारः * शुष्के नीरे * कः * कासारः * क्षीणे वित्ते * कः * परिवारः * ज्ञाते तत्त्वे * कः * संसारः ।।१०।।
Vayasi gate * kaḥ * kāmavikāraḥ * Śuṣke nīre * kaḥ * kāsāraḥ * kṣīṇe vitte * kaḥ * parivāraḥ * jñāte tattve * kaḥ * samsāraḥ.(10)

[SUP]1[/SUP][SUP]2[/SUP][SUP]3[/SUP][SUP]4[/SUP][SUP]5[/SUP][SUP]6[/SUP]
वयसि गतेकःकामविकारःशुष्के नीरेकःकासारः
Vayasi gatekaḥkāmavikāraḥŚuṣke nīrekaḥkāsāraḥ
With youth goneWhere islustful play?With water driedwhere isthe lake?
[SUP]7[/SUP][SUP]8[/SUP][SUP]9[/SUP][SUP]10[/SUP][SUP]11[/SUP][SUP]12[/SUP]
क्षीणे वित्तेकःपरिवारःज्ञाते तत्त्वेकःसंसारः
kṣīṇe vittekaḥparivāraḥjñāte tattvekaḥsamsāraḥ
with dwindling wealthwhere isthe family?Knowing the Truthwhere isSamsara?
With youth gone, where is lust and the rest? With water evaporated, where is the lake? With dwindling wealth, where is the family? Knowing the Truth, where is Samsara or life on earth? bhaja gōvindaṃ bhaja gōvindaṃ.

The thread here http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/religion/3313-bhaja-govindam-sri-jagadguru-adi-sankaracharya.html discusses (including some questions/comments from you - a while ago)
 
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Sri. Moorthy, Greetings.

Thank you for the detailed explaining.

With youth gone, where is lust and the rest? With water evaporated, where is the lake? With dwindling wealth, where is the family? Knowing the Truth, where is Samsara or life on earth?

When the youth is gone, the lust and the physical sensual pleasures are in the mind. Only the physical body becomes old; not the mind. That is the biggest issue, really. Since most people are not willing to accept the physical body getting old, they tend to mistake the mind as part of the physical body. But it is not. Mind can always go back to memories and live those memories as if such memories are happening currently.

When the youth is gone, those memories keep the lust alive.

Often times I feel Bhaja Govindam was written with pessimistic outlook. Why should the water evoperate? with careful conservation initiatives, the lake can be kept as a lake for a very long time. Similarly, with careful financial planning, hopefully the wealth may not dwindle altogether.

Learning the truth is not the end of Samsara. Samsara continues to the last minute. There is no reason to severe Samsara either.

Bhaja Govindam can be looked from two angles. First angle is, Sankara warns Samsari about the possible pitfalls and cautions them against those pit falls. The second angle is, Sankara scare monger a Samsari.

But a clear mind may not be scare mongered. Yes, would always accept precautionary initiatives.

In my opinion, good deeds should be conducted throughout the life. One should not wait for the lake to become dry or the body to become withered. When the lake is full, should share it with others; when there is strength in the mind and body, should extend such strength to others to help them.

Cheers!
 
I do not want this thread to get side tracked into discussion of Bhaja Govindam. I just quoted those two lines to make the meaning relavant.

I recently read a scientific piece on dying and death - which may be interesting for this thread

"But Dr. Pringle, a mycologist at Harvard, believes they may help answer one of science’s greatest questions: Is immortality biologically possible?"

The article is about lichens (form of fungi) whether they are immortal.


http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/01/s...s-in-a-place-for-the-dead.html?pagewanted=all
 
I do not want this thread to get side tracked into discussion of Bhaja Govindam.

This thread may not be side tracked. everything falls under some kind of a desire! So, almost anything may be discussed. Secondly, I am not fussy like other members. I don't care for purity in a discussion. For me, baghavat Gita is just Gita... it doesn't have to be only in Sanskrit.. it can be discussed in Chennai Tamil too.

Cheers!
 
Dear Friends,

See vedantam is like dense forest. No one ever came out once entered. But with the blessings of true aacharian Vedanatam looks simple. Fine my actual point is that lets us not complicate what vedantam says. Because there are different versions for one word in sanskrit. So without the help of aacharian we cannot make out the real meaning. Instead of analising let us accept our inabilly and surrender ourself to aacharian thiruvadi and live happily. Please remember charama slokam in Srimad Bhagavadgita. "Sarvadharman paridyajya maam ekam saranam vraja . . . ." . Here Lord gives you His word. What else we need?

Here I want to share an incident happened in SriVaishnava Sampradayam. Parasara Bhattar defeated Vedanthi, a great scholar who was a grahastan. After sometime Vedanthi renounced his life and became sanyasin. He divided his wealth into three parts. He gave two parts to his (two) waives and took one part to offer it to Parasara Bhattar's thiruvadi. On his way he met Ananthazhwan a direct disciple of Srimad Ramanuja and offered his pranams. Ananthazwan ponited out that this sanyasam was not required to attain Paramapadam once one surrender to aacharian thiruvadi. Here he told " viyartha bOdhu kuliththu pasiththabOdhu undAl paramapadam illai enbArgalO?" Once you surrender to aacharian thiruvadi you need not worry about anything.

But if we try to do anything on our own then we will be lead by karma.

(Please excuse me for my bad english)

Adiyen Ramanujadasan
 
Dear Shri Raghy,

You say that even when the body ages and becomes unable to do many things and unable to satisfy many desires, the memories continue to remain in the mind which does not age and continue to relive its memories. Well, what I will say is that even this is a passing stage; it will so happen that the mind housed in an aged body also undergoes some changes and at last you will come to a position that though the mind may hazily recapture old memories, it will not be able to kindle the physical pleasure in the way you now feel.

A constant awareness that we are only temporary guests here, will help the mind maturing.

IMHO, good deeds and fulfilment of desires are not always identical. While good deeds are always good, fulfilment of desires has to be done with a certain amount of discretion. That was what I tried to spell out in my post #311.
 
Dear Shri Raghy,

You say that even when the body ages and becomes unable to do many things and unable to satisfy many desires, the memories continue to remain in the mind which does not age and continue to relive its memories. Well, what I will say is that even this is a passing stage; it will so happen that the mind housed in an aged body also undergoes some changes and at last you will come to a position that though the mind may hazily recapture old memories, it will not be able to kindle the physical pleasure in the way you now feel.

A constant awareness that we are only temporary guests here, will help the mind maturing.

IMHO, good deeds and fulfilment of desires are not always identical. While good deeds are always good, fulfilment of desires has to be done with a certain amount of discretion. That was what I tried to spell out in my post #311.

Dear Sri. Sangom, Greetings.

I appreciate your explanations.

When it comes to 'pleasure', we keep moving on. Not all the pleasures are centered with physical pleasure either. In life we get to a stage where we enjoy making others happy and we find pleasure from that feeling.

Often times memories don't kindle physical pleasure either. For example, during a conversation I reminded my wife about placing her in a very naughty situation. The conversation went on not about the physical pleasure but about the thrill, rush of adrenalin etc. That is not living in a lie either. Matter of fact such rekindling of nice memories boost up the morale.

For some weird reason I was always aware we are here only on a temporary basis. I even had my friends annoyed when I said such things.

What is matured mind? Most often than not, I talk to myself. Not just mumbling something like a grumpy old man... a full fledged conversation between two imaginary persons ( usually in Chennai Tamizh).. There were times my wife didn't like it too much... but of late she loves them and laughs a lot... you see, mostly these conversations would be ridiculously funny.. Am I loosing my mind? My wife thinks I am starting to act more like a youngster as I got older. I am always confused about 'matured mind'. ( of course I value good ethics and nice practices).

I may be going back in time. I did not enjoy my childhood. It was a constant struggle for us as a family.. now we can afford to relax.. I think my mind is relaxing. I am bringing this point forward because sometimes I get mixed information about 'a matured mind'. I believe when we are not under life stress, our mind has more opportunity to find freedom. Such mind may act in a funny sort of weird way if an opportunity arises.

At the end of the day, I strongly believe we are here to enjoy life.

( There is no lucky situation or unlucky situation in life. I used to write about my friend who used to hang out with me when I was 17-18. At that time one of my dream was to get a job which would pay a 'four figure salary of course per month in Indian Rupees! He thought I was greedy!! I still remember the days we used to wash cattle in the irrigation water. There was a time we valued one rupee as a sum of money. Now he is employed as one of the executive managers in Lucas TVS, Delhi plant. A frequent flyer between Delhi and chennai!). Anything good is possible. Desire is not a bad word. I know, we have to exercise discretion. I am only talking about such desires anyway.

Cheers!
 
hi


I used to write about my friend who used to hang out with me when I was 17-18. At that time one of my dream was to get a job which would pay a 'four figure salary of course per month in Indian Rupees! He thought I was greedy!! I still remember the days we used to wash cattle in the irrigation water...

i had same dream in my teen age too...a little different...i want a govt job with four figure salary......easy retirement with

gratuity with pension....more my service....so i went kili joshiyam in our village thiruvizha....temple car festival...the

kili joshiyar told me that i will get govt job........the kili picked some card...the joshiyar read it....i got govt job and served

for 16 years....now im getting gratuity/pension more than my service....lol
 
Dear Sri. Sangom, Greetings.

I appreciate your explanations.

When it comes to 'pleasure', we keep moving on. Not all the pleasures are centered with physical pleasure either. In life we get to a stage where we enjoy making others happy and we find pleasure from that feeling.

Often times memories don't kindle physical pleasure either. For example, during a conversation I reminded my wife about placing her in a very naughty situation. The conversation went on not about the physical pleasure but about the thrill, rush of adrenalin etc. That is not living in a lie either. Matter of fact such rekindling of nice memories boost up the morale.

For some weird reason I was always aware we are here only on a temporary basis. I even had my friends annoyed when I said such things.

What is matured mind? Most often than not, I talk to myself. Not just mumbling something like a grumpy old man... a full fledged conversation between two imaginary persons ( usually in Chennai Tamizh).. There were times my wife didn't like it too much... but of late she loves them and laughs a lot... you see, mostly these conversations would be ridiculously funny.. Am I loosing my mind? My wife thinks I am starting to act more like a youngster as I got older. I am always confused about 'matured mind'. ( of course I value good ethics and nice practices).

I may be going back in time. I did not enjoy my childhood. It was a constant struggle for us as a family.. now we can afford to relax.. I think my mind is relaxing. I am bringing this point forward because sometimes I get mixed information about 'a matured mind'. I believe when we are not under life stress, our mind has more opportunity to find freedom. Such mind may act in a funny sort of weird way if an opportunity arises.

At the end of the day, I strongly believe we are here to enjoy life.

( There is no lucky situation or unlucky situation in life. I used to write about my friend who used to hang out with me when I was 17-18. At that time one of my dream was to get a job which would pay a 'four figure salary of course per month in Indian Rupees! He thought I was greedy!! I still remember the days we used to wash cattle in the irrigation water. There was a time we valued one rupee as a sum of money. Now he is employed as one of the executive managers in Lucas TVS, Delhi plant. A frequent flyer between Delhi and chennai!). Anything good is possible. Desire is not a bad word. I know, we have to exercise discretion. I am only talking about such desires anyway.

Cheers!

Yes, I agree, all desires are not bad. Good desires are good. But my view is that if a person lives sufficiently long, or gets bodily weaker early, he/she may not be able to carry out even the good desires. It is then that one has to feel satisfied even without fulfilment of the desire/s.
 
If we are to get a good turn in life, we have to do a good turn to someone else at sometime. Just by analysing ourselves we may not get any good turn.

More to follow. Feedbacks are welcome, please.



Dear Shri Raghy



I agree with your first point. However, I am not completely agreeing with your second point. Imo if we analyse our self, we are focusing ourselves. We come to know what kind of person we are. We try to change unwanted behaviour/habits which are negatively affecting us. Enhance our good behaviour/habits which are more beneficial to us. So by analysing us we are doing good turn to us and we do that without even noticing it. We need to know our strength and weakness of ourselves to conquer our desires. Unless we analyse ourselves, it will be hard to conquer or achieve our desire or to succeed in life.


Kind Regards
 
i had a problem with the title of this thread 'how to overcome desires'.

it sounds as if desires are undesirable (sic) and have to be overcome.

does not even the guy who wants to overcome desires, has a desire? ie to overcome desire, itself becomes a desire?

Our desires are what defines us as humans. A desire for an education, job, wife, children, home, family, car etc. what is wrong is desiring all this?

I desire to read a lot of books. Watch neeya naana. Travel across the globe. – I cannot find anything wrong in it. If at all anything, this is what keeps me going. Without it, there would be no difference between me, and the pet dog or cat, or maybe even the lump of cabbage in the refrigerator.

Maybe the issue is how to manage our desires. To keep them within limits – ie limits as prescribed by the norms of society, money management and love of the near & dear?
 
Dear Amirtha, Greetings.

I agree with your first point. However, I am not completely agreeing with your second point. Imo if we analyse our self, we are focusing ourselves. We come to know what kind of person we are. We try to change unwanted behaviour/habits which are negatively affecting us. Enhance our good behaviour/habits which are more beneficial to us. So by analysing us we are doing good turn to us and we do that without even noticing it.

Good point. I agree with you. You seem to have got the idea.

Cheers!
 
Desire arises when it comes out of being able to prove i can do though prohibited,to feel that it is an entitlement which one is not being allowed, giving a sense of enjoyment , and comes out of habit. It is rare that anything which is strenuous or does not invite appreciation or thought of in circles as "cool" is ever desired . Further one can overcome desire if one delves into the reason why one is drawn towards doing it. One also tends to create circumstances to justify the indulgence . The aspect of overcoming desire is not possible. One can only outgrow it.
 
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