• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Eradication Of Late Marriage

Status
Not open for further replies.
K

K.MURALIDHARAN

Guest
We have seen many girls are not married because of non payment of Dowry. Eenthough the boy is not well employed, the boy's family demands lot of things for marriage.

Our community consists of Lot of middle class and Lower Middle class and Few Upper Class.

Every one wants to copy the Upper Class and behave like that.Helping tendency is less in our community.Particularly the backbone of our community the vedic teachers, Sastrigal, Pandits are looked as if they are inferior to others.We should give respect to them. We should boldly wear Religious identity such as Sandal, Kum Kum, Sacredash in our Forehead.

We should not criticise others who follow other principals and we have to follow our basic discipline.We should not resort to eating Non-Vegetarian foods, drinks, etc. It will degrade our image.
 
hai all,
reagrding iradication of late marriages is a gd thought but not when it comes to reasons like dowry etc.,now all women are so independent and tehy have already taken over lot of men.it can be said that due to this independence men have almost lost the respect thay had to be duely given.now women have been earning a lot and ther is a no such kind as male respect and etc., as it used to bhe in the olden daz.women have given all their freedom and most of the women i believe have mistook this freedom for total rule and have to certain extent given way to second thoughts such as this issue.now men and women want to enjoy their independant life for quite sometime and by this time they have seen places and world around and learnt a lot of things about life which make suggests policies to subdue women's freedom.
surely teching all the ways of brahmin life to our kids will to certain extent help us improve the quality of their life in the future but we are not able to find the true source where this kind of enrichment of knowledge can be done with heart and truthfully it is ok we can pay them to their hear t extent but htne they dont really give us the 100% confidence teaching them the right issues
 
Eradication of Late marriage

Late marriages in Brahmin community is the result of not only financial compulsions but mainly due to age-old tradition of matching the horoscopes.
It is unfortunate, many a brahmin fellows, even after good amount of education and experience, have immense faith in astrology, horoscopes, Ayilya nakshatram, Sevvai dhosham and other such bull-shit.

We all know that astrology is based on the assumption that the planets have an influence on the life of an individual, depending on the planetary positions existing at the time of the individual's birth and the present positions. Astrology assumes that there are 9 planets. Of them, Science has proved that SUN is not a planet. Moon is a sub-planet or satellite. Astrology does not take into account the newly discovered planets. Even after knowing these, an MTECh Brahmin - An MS brahmin- A Ph D Brahmin have no shame in sticking to these idiotic ideas and do not come forward to marry a girl of AAyilya Nakshatram - So to say about the progressive ideas of Brahmin youth-

We say that we believe in God - Then, you believe that planets (that too partial) are more powerful than the Almighty!

Brahmin boys should shed all these "Paattiyamma kaalaththu" beliefs-
Throw away superstitions - Then only the evils of our society can be got rid of-

I know many may not like my argument - But, as always ,
THE TRUTH IS BITTER-

Bye
Shankar
 
My request to all fellow brahmins , while there are lot of issues to be sorted out long term , I feel short term let us all put our heads and efforts together to see how we can identify and help brahmins with education, coaching and getting jobs. Once we start doing this some of the above issues will get sorted out . Once every poor brahmin knows the community is making genuine efforts to help them , lot of things will automatically change .

Thanks a lot and do not mistake me
 
Hello subalaji and All:

I fully agree w/you and this is one of the main objectives of me signing up here. We should start chalking out the objectives as a team; perhaps you should start a new Objectives thread for this group. Here is my 2 cents (opinion):

I wanted to do my best to help our Brahmin Community especially to the less fortunate. Once we accomplish that, we can extend our help to other caste/communities as well. Obviously, we don't want to be portrayed as an outfit like KKK(Klu Klux Klan - For those of you who are not familiar with this, it is a fraternal group advocating White Supremacy in the United States and its sole purpose is to propagate and retain the White Supremacy. Although this group is still very much alive and kicking, some White people resent that and it has become a social stigma). So long story short, we don’t want to be like KKK, instead, we should be a group of Brahmins helping out our community folks FIRST due to obvious reasons and then extend our services to other caste/community as well

FELLOW BRAHMINS: If history has taught us anything (like persecution of JEWS and all), minority people like us who have been oppressed should join hands to rebuild our community and our stature in the society. MY GOAL is simple: We as BRAHMINS should co-exist with other caste and community folks like we all do now, unlike what it used to be, and serve as a moral example to others yet anchored to our beliefs and values.

At this juncture, I’d like to propose to:
[1] all BRAHMINS that, in today’s world, it is hard to distinguish between BRAHMINS from the others especially those who are from other Regions, so let’s start by changing our Last Names to sound Brahminical , typically in the US and the rest of the world, or for the most part the Last Name represent the Family they Hail from, for instance my Manager’s Last Name is Miller, thus his Wife, his kids, his parents, his brothers, sister all have the last names as Miller. So, you get the point. I’m planning on changing it to Iyengar shortly and similarly for my Wife as well.

[2] Please refrain from Drinking, Smoking, and Eating Non_veg food. I know it is easy to say but hard to implement. Guys, if we want to succeed as a group we have to do this. This is the main quality of a Brahmin.

[3] Let’s do Sandhayavandhanam everyday. I recently started with this after my recent trip to India.

[4] Some of us take off our Poonals. Guys, I don’t blame you b/c I used to be like that when I was in College and for the first few years while I was in the US. Nowadays, I don’t take it no matter what.

[5] Do community service and some quality time at the temple along w/other priests reading ‘Nalayaa Prabandham’ or whatever is applicable to you.

[6] Share good beliefs/values to people. And etc., etc.,


I do not expect every one in this group or outside to agree with what I had mentioned, but if we don’t, we will cease to exist before even our life time.

















subalaji said:
My request to all fellow brahmins , while there are lot of issues to be sorted out long term , I feel short term let us all put our heads and efforts together to see how we can identify and help brahmins with education, coaching and getting jobs. Once we start doing this some of the above issues will get sorted out . Once every poor brahmin knows the community is making genuine efforts to help them , lot of things will automatically change .

Thanks a lot and do not mistake me
 
shankar said:
Late marriages in Brahmin community is the result of not only financial compulsions but mainly due to age-old tradition of matching the horoscopes.
It is unfortunate, many a brahmin fellows, even after good amount of education and experience, have immense faith in astrology, horoscopes, Ayilya nakshatram, Sevvai dhosham and other such bull-shit.

Just in one day we can't conclude that astrology is bull shit. It has its value and in many circumstances it is proved to be correct. I strongly welcome shankar, its his view. But don't say its bull shit. Pl correct your lang.

Nowadays, i think, dowry problem has come down. Now most bridegrooms are not seeking dowry and they hesitate that. Time has taken its course and has changed lot of peoples' mind. I know in our society lots of marriages are done without dowry. main thing for late marriage is the time taken by bridegroom to stand independently(Sondha kalil nirkiradhu). In some situations total burden is kept on the son, since father may not be able to earn, so he has to pull the family and finally the guy gets married at late age.

These are my views, opinions welcomed.
 
Miller means originally these people where involved in milling operations. Similarly there are last names like Scott or Hill (region), Smith (occupation) and so on. Similarly some last names were a resule of what occupation they were involved. Brahmins go by something called Gothram. Gothram tells us which family belong. You dont have to change yourself to Iyengar to feel united. If your gothram is 'kaundinya' or 'bharadwaja' for that matter then all those belonging to that gothram are your brothers/sisters/relatives etc. That's why marriage within gothram is not done!.

In india If your name is Rajagopal and your dads name is Jagannathan your are called 'Rajagopal Jagannathan'. This typically should be read as Rajagopal (Son Of) Jagannathan. Similarly, the wives takes their husbands name, in that case, for eg., Suganya Wife Of Rajagopal, written as Suganya Rajagopal. If at all you need to add something you need to add the gothram to your name. That is actually the last name and in that case your current last name (fathers name) will serve as your middle name. In the case of let's say Hill (or Scott), they (all Hills) may not be bilogically related to each other but they still consider them as same family just because they have same last name. Our name's doesn't involve the concept like west because there is no need to have like that. We have our family origin through Rishis and our ancestory is established through the various rishis all successors of rishis belong to that family and accordingly marriage/vivaham/horoscope rules are handled and based upon.

There is a interesting article on this topic in wikipedia please read that when you have a chance.


JSIyengar said:
"my Manager’s Last Name is Miller, thus his Wife, his kids, his parents, his brothers, sister all have the last names as Miller. So, you get the point. I’m planning on changing it to Iyengar shortly and similarly for my Wife as well."
 
jsiyengar said:
[2] Please refrain from Drinking, Smoking, and Eating Non_veg food. I know it is easy to say but hard to implement. Guys, if we want to succeed as a group we have to do this. This is the main quality of a Brahmin.

These are personal choices and nothing to do with ones success. Typically with the changed circumstances these may help you be more successful than otherwise.

For ex., if you are a account manager working for a big corporation and you have to entertain your client you take him to a restaurant and when you are eating salad (*veggies) he will find it odd to eat meat/drink and smoke worrying whether you might like it not, but at the sametime may not help in promoting business. Also, if you happen to linger about meat eating (which invariable non-meat eaters end up talking about with everybody else when they travel outside tamil-nadu or india or whatever.) it will be hypocrizy to accpet it as well isn't it.

Every community must adopt according to changes when not doing only prevents us from succeeding. The old mindset of brahmins is slowing us down not otherwise. But then pesonally people can choose what to do.

jsiyengar said:
[3] Let’s do Sandhayavandhanam everyday. I recently started with this after my recent trip to India.

I critize the aspect of asking someone to pray this many number of times personally. Even though some say sandyavandanam serves two purpose one "asking the god for forgivness and showing us the light to us" the other is the supposed health benefit of pranayama. Since we know these are the two ( may be more, just for this point) that we are concerned about, we can do so by prayer also without having to go throught he sandhyavandanam ritual (with water and sarigu etc... I dont believe sun is a god anymore I couldn't help it)

jsiyengar said:
[4] Some of us take off our Poonals. Guys, I don’t blame you b/c I used to be like that when I was in College and for the first few years while I was in the US. Nowadays, I don’t take it no matter what.

I keep it for identify sake, I kinda like this concept every community try to have something that uniquely identifies them to have a certain advantage and or unity, other things (look sikhs, jews, or islamic people with their flat head cover etc.) I am with you there. Thought I dont believe in the purpose anymore. Symbolism is only good for establishing a society, after it is established, it becomes a monotonous ritual.

jsiyengar said:
[5] Do community service and some quality time at the temple along w/other priests reading ‘Nalayaa Prabandham’ or whatever is applicable to you.

Can be done!. good one though!.

jsiyengar said:
6 Share good beliefs/values to people. And etc., etc.,

Subjective but good!.

jsiyengar said:
I do not expect every one in this group or outside to agree with what I had mentioned

Shows your open-mindedness and your willingness to accept criticism. gr8.

jsiyengar said:
but if we don’t, we will cease to exist before even our life time.

We will not cease to exist before our time because we dont do the above, we will cease to exist as we know ourselves at this point.

In my opinion I favor a modern brahmin who is devoid of any ill will towards other community and who is devoid of any rituals, who is devoid of symbolism (Veebudhi/naamam), who is devoid of cultural attachment towards prayer as in no emphasis of madisar/panchakacham/Kudumi/Veebudhi/Naamam and so on, but at the same time preserve the essence of god/prayer/worship within him.

A brahmin is one who prays the god in his abstract form true to the original principle and devoid of any caste/varna references.

This I guess will ensure success as in how people look at us, or react to us etc...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest ads

Back
Top