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Divorce rearing its ugly head among Tambrahms

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Vaagmi said:
No. This gives the picture better,

She hunts for alpha beta and gamma and theta even.
She needs him because she is creative.
She wants to create and
for that the way is to procreate.
alpha's assets are just kosuru.
When she knew his need was good food
she took over and ruled the kitchen.
Now when she knows he needs money too
she goes out on a hunt to gather it.
Two hunters can live together happily
when there is love mutual respect
and give and take. When it is absent
they hunt each other -- and remember
She is better equipped.
Click to expand...

Well said!!
 
Vaagmi said:
What or who is a forlkar? bAshyam please.

I am sure it is not the name of the dengue mosquito. LOL
Click to expand...
When I coined this word (!!), I gave the meaning and again in another post! Probably you missed them.

Forlkar = Forum + Stalker.
I have one, who goes in search of my old posts and gives 'sore thumbs'!:ranger:

My score has crossed half a century. :D
 
renuka said:
She understand though there are two there is verily One.
Click to expand...

OMG !! So, for shunya vaadin sAyujyam is just self-indulgence. Shunya is (or is it "is not") indeed a powerful opiate.

It is like the black hole in the universe. Once got into it, there is no way you can come out. You keep oscillatting there for ever and ever and ever.........perceiving only shunya and nothing else.

சூழ்ந்தகன்றாழ்ந்துயர்ந்த முடிவில் பெரும் பாழேயோ................ (Nammazhwaar)

Life is beautiful. It is not shunya. sAyujyam is really beautiful and enjoyable. Try it. LOL.
 
Raji Ram said:
When I coined this word (!!), I gave the meaning and again in another post! Probably you missed them.

Forlkar = Forum + Stalker.
I have one, who goes in search of my old posts and gives 'sore thumbs'!:ranger:

My score has crossed half a century. :D
Click to expand...

When I cross half century I will celebrate it. I am still waiting. Unfortunately I have a lazy forlker.
 
Vaagmi said:
OMG !! So, for shunya vaadin sAyujyam is just self-indulgence. Shunya is (or is it "is not") indeed a powerful opiate.

It is like the black hole in the universe. Once got into it, there is no way you can come out. You keep oscillatting there for ever and ever and ever.........perceiving only shunya and nothing else.

சூழ்ந்தகன்றாழ்ந்துயர்ந்த முடிவில் பெரும் பாழேயோ................ (Nammazhwaar)

Life is beautiful. It is not shunya. sAyujyam is really beautiful and enjoyable. Try it. LOL.
Click to expand...


SELF = SELF

SELF + SELF = SELF.

SELF +SELF+SELF = SELF.


Therefore whether itse self gratification or a union of two or a threesome..verily everything is only ONE.
 
renuka said:
SELF = SELF
SELF + SELF = SELF.
SELF +SELF+SELF = SELF.
Therefore whether itse self gratification or a union of two or a threesome..verily everything is only ONE.
Click to expand...

Lo!! You are missing a lot.

O God! These people know not what they are doing and what they are missing. Bless them with enlightenment and equipment for perceiving -- not just seeing.
 
Raji Ram said:
When I coined this word (!!), I gave the meaning and again in another post! Probably you missed them.

Forlkar = Forum + Stalker.
I have one, who goes in search of my old posts and gives 'sore thumbs'!:ranger:

My score has crossed half a century. :D
Click to expand...

Do not worry..There are forum angels too who would negate that with a +1
 
Is 28-32 right age for marriage to avoid divorce?

This is the ideal age to get married, according to science!

It's already a confusing task to find the right partner to marry, and now, it seems there is also a right age bracket to get hitched, according to science.
According to a study carried out by Nicholas H. Wolfinger, a professor at the University of Utah suggests that the people who tie the knot between the ages of 28 to 32 have the least chances of getting divorced.

According to the research, the odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties. The chances of divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early forties. Wolfiger writes, "Past the age of 32 or so, the odds of divorce increase by 5 percent per year of age at marriage. The kinds of people who wait till their thirties to get married may be the kinds of people who aren't predisposed toward doing well in their marriages." Recommended By Colombia



The study that has been published by the Institute of Family Studies also suggests couples in their thirties are more mature and usually have a sounder economic foundation.

Wolfinger adds, "People who marry later face a pool of potential spouses that has been winnowed down to exclude the individuals most predisposed to succeed at matrimony."

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com...pc&utm_campaign=TOI_newuser&utm_content=om-bm
 
Raji Ram said:
:nono: I don't agree!!
Click to expand...

Hello Raji Madam,

I think the logic here is that if both spouses are educated & employed, when you marry young between 23-25 then there is a chance of difference of opinion leading to divorce as they are immature & they may take spot decisions without worrying about the future even tho' their love life may be strong!!
At a higher age (28-32) the negatives outweigh the positives in case of divorce...So the couples are forced to reconcile their differences and get along..The love life is also strong
Beyond that age the fertility drops and chances of divorce increase in case of difference of opinion!
 
Dear Ganesh,

When the Man was the bread winner and the Woman was the home maker, there were not many divorces. We have seen

many 'non-stop-fighting-couple, live till ripe age, with many children! Now, both are earning members and ego clashes are

natural! Advance in age makes a person more adamant. This is what I have observed. :nod:
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Ganesh,

When the Man was the bread winner and the Woman was the home maker, there were not many divorces. We have seen

many 'non-stop-fighting-couple, live till ripe age, with many children! Now, both are earning members and ego clashes are

natural! Advance in age makes a person more adamant. This is what I have observed. :nod:
Click to expand...

Agreed Ma'am,

In spite of difference of opinion and daily arguments, we are able to sustain our relationship if our duties are defined properly. The husband and wife should understand clearly the meaning of old adage " devotion is two sided ". Modern day life mostly based on money making. Clash of ideas take place on silly things and egoistic impulse, resulting in physical and legal separation.
Best wishes,
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.
 
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Seperaion in a marriage is always painful. Whether it is divorce or any other way...

For a divorce, I think the couple need to muster greater courage...
 
I know that this a USA research, but may apply in India too.

Looking ahead to the next phase of life can seem pretty dreadful if you can’t stand the person who you’ll be spending it with.
That may be what some boomers are facing. Among U.S. adults ages 50 and older, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s, according to a recent Pew Research Center report.

Statistically speaking we’re healthier and probably going to be living a lot longer — possibly 30 years longer — than average retirees once did. The surge in late-in-life — or “gray” — divorce is one possibly unintended consequence of this so-called longevity bonus.

“What’s pushing gray divorce is people are living longer and they feel more entitled to living fully. They’ve contributed to raising children, they want an emotional journey, it’s their time now,” says Lili Vasileff, a certified financial planner and president of Divorce and Money Matters, which specializes in divorce financial planning. “They may have (decades) ahead and don’t want to be unhappy anymore.”

This is combined with a reduced stigma of divorce, both in terms of religion and society’s attitudes. People also feel more financially stable — especially if both partners have careers. But there are some serious downsides to divorce at this stage of life.

“Gray divorcees tend to be less financially secure than married and widowed adults, particularly among women,” Pew says. “And living alone at older ages can be detrimental to one’s financial comfort and, for men, their satisfaction with their social lives.”


https://www.marketwatch.com/story/y...sis-worse-2017-03-13?siteid=yhoof2&yptr=yahoo
​
 
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04_01_15-metro16b.jpg
This is an unusual trend in a country where the divorce rate was just 1 in 1,000 ten years ago, and is still a relatively low 13 per 1,000 - as compared to the US average of 500 per 1,000. While India has no central or even state-wise registry of divorce data, family court officials say the number of divorce applications has doubled and even tripled in cities such as Mumbai, Delhi, Bengaluru, Kolkata and Lucknow over the past five years (see box).
They cite a range of reasons - the waning influence of the family and joint family; the growing psychological and financial independence of women; late marriages resulting in a greater reluctance to compromise or change set ways and lifestyles.


04_01_15-metro16a.jpg


Adds Aarti Mundkur, lawyer at the Bengaluru family court: "Has the number of divorces gone up? Of course. But has the breakdown of marriage increased? No. Marriages have been breaking down with much the same regularity over the years. But couples have been continuing with the marriage to keep up appearances. The growing rate of divorce is an indication that the stigma associated with it is on the wane.

"http://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/how-and-why-number-of-young-indian-couples-getting-divorced-has-risen-sharply/story-mEuaEoviW40d6slLZbGu6J.html
 
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In the past marriages lasted not becos they were more stable or couples adjusted more ..it was just becos there was no way out for the woman if she were to walk away.

Males had the upper hand being the sole bread winner and many kid themselves thinking " O the glorious past"

After all ..many poverty stricken women still stay with their drunk abusive husbands just becos she has no other choice.

When a woman has a financial say in a marriage its not becos she becomes arrogant and marriage breaks down....but now she can relatively walk out easier becos she knows she can provide for herself and kids if any.

She need not stay and suffer.

Its as simple as people who leave to US for a better income becos some might feel marginalized in their own country due various politicial reasons.

So are we saying those who leave to US do not value their homeland and could not adjust and stay?

Nope

At the end of the day no one wants to be a divorcee...its just that these days staying in a broken marriage that is not conducive for general well being need not be an option.


I guess most men of yesteryears never really asked their wives why they stayed on in their marriages.

Most probably they thought if you teach a woman to STAY STAY...she would stay for the rest of her life.

But these days the Canine method of STAY STAY does not even work on dogs..Ceaser Milan has a real tough time handling canines with issues.
 
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