Re your post #90
I live in Canada. please let me know where you found me in the context
all possible efforts are being put by members like Nara, Kunjuppu, etc., seem to explain away even the instances which are being presented by you, as isolated cases and not reflecting the majority US population's attitudes
sangom, I can only speak of my own experiences. i do not understand, why you should bandy me with Nara or anyone. if you have a gripe with me, say so please, and we can discuss it.
Also you have noted
social intermingling at the household level will be restricted unless they (the white people) find that you have changed over to their customs, manners, belief systems (not religion) and all that..
I have posted a few days ago, about the practise in our home re non inviting my relatives who have married outside our community, to tambram gatherings at our home, because our community just ignores these folks and they end up watching TV alone.
Socializing is a personal thing. Both me and mrs K, are very comfortable socializing with whites, and we have many many white friends, who come to our home and vice versa. Admittedly we are among the few, for most tambrams, do not even have north Indian friends.
Our white friends, I wish to say, we could confide and talk more openly, just because, they don’t gossip and usually we get honest feedbacks. The flip side, is that due to common background, there is something ‘special’ with a couple of our tambram friends, a closeness I don’t think we can expect of the whites.
i have always said, it is prejudice that defines us. Every human is prejudiced. It is whether this prejudice impacts you and how much it impacts you, is the question.
I am fairly acclimatized to Canada, am aware of its prejudice as a society at large. But then, yesterday I presented you, a snapshot of a country, which until 1967 was white 99%, and today the city of Toronto has more than 50% non white people. The pattern of immigration is such that 90% of the immigrants are non white, and at some point will be majority in the country. The society per se is indifferent to mixed racial marriages, though there will be exceptions who do not like it. The issue, I think, is how much loud and pervasive is this exception.
If you need to know this exception, you need only to look at the newspapers. exceptions do happen, but we should ask ourselves, is the racism so pervading, that it hinders our day to day lives. your own son, i am quite sure, is very successful, inspite of the 'racism', and i will leave it to him to tell you, if the usa has been fair, and gave him a chance to succeed, irrespective of his background.
We talked about change of attitudes. Since world war 2, the west as a society, has moved away from the old style imperialism and the citizens, to various extents have gone alone with it. More so, in the new societies of usa or Australia, than in Europe.
But then there are also extraordinary behaviours that cause reactions. During the dotcom period, it was not uncommon for Indians to switch jobs just at the promise of a few thousand increases, without giving any thought to commitment and responsibility of what happens when someone leaves a project mid way. They went on a spree buying up BMWs, which they abandoned at the airports when the bubble bursts.
needless to say, this was observed by the media and the white society at large, who came to distrust these 'carpet baggers' who they considered unrealiable, and who eventually nobody would hire. to these desi guys, the usa is fraught with racism. and they would never agree that brought it on themselves.. and also hurt the reputation of hard working indians for a very long time.
Strange things happen. On all sides. Everywhere. It does not translate into prejudice or racism.
Folks like me, who have spent most of my lifetime here in Canada, I think, am able to balance the overall value of the society here. I find it tolerant and liberating. It is a personal thing. Irrespective of whether there is a racial fight somewhere or an Indian getting frisked at the airport or a muslim denied visa for the usa.
hope this explains my surprise, at being categorized as an apologist for usa racism or effort to drive it under the carpet