ceremonies>> aachara requirements

[drsundaram]

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May I request the learned members to authentically share on What do Hindu Dharma Sastra prescribes for Vadyaar's and the performer[grahastha's] to follow before and after performing the annual srardha ceremony. In case of violations of those codes by any one or both who will undergo or earn the ill effects, if any.
Because if the performer is strict on what he should observe on that day, it is noticed nowdays that most of Vaadyaars compromise. At that point of time one can not do away with vaadyaar for that occassion nor accept him whole heartedly. Since he is also in this fast & modern days he has also to be competetive.Then what happens to the sanctity of ceremony being conducted.
Whether faults are vaadyar's or [those brought by him] side or performer's side what to do when deviations happen and is there any pariharaas.?
thanks

 

[Sabesan Narayanaswami]

I have been performing shrardham for my father since 1980 and recently I performed the 29th one.I am observing slowly and steadily there is degradation due to 1.Quality of Vadhyars 2.their selection of other brahmins 3.Compromise 4.Ignorance and 5.Scant respect.Though we say that the paavam will go to them at the end of the day we are not satisfied and feel a guilt.I follow the customs and traditions very closely get them veshtees,handsome dakshinai,auto fare etc etc,but still there is lot to be improved.I am told that in Tiruvaiyaru, Sundaresa sarma is conducting shrardham in the traditional disciplined way and many of my friends are extremely happy.We will have to be there the previous night,and perform the religious ceremony in the midst of learned Sastrigals.I havent tried but I am propsing to.

Sabesan Narayanaswami

 

[RVR]

Profession of vadhyar and associates are not at all regulated. The grahastas can form an association, bring the best people in the profession and conduct it in the best possible way. Once there is unity among grahastas, Vadhyar will behave properly.

In villages such a regulation was there. Even fixing Dakshina for Amavasya, the village grahastas use to decide collectively.Unfortunately in cities and towns, there is no unity among grihastas. It is high time grahastas form a local association.

We get a vadhyar for Avani Avittam in a nearby temple every year. He is very sincere and at the same time not at all commercial. Unity is the best way to prevent exploitation.

All the best

 

[drsundaram]

I have been performing shrardham for my father since 1980 and recently I performed the 29th one.I am observing slowly and steadily there is degradation due to 1.Quality of Vadhyars 2.their selection of other brahmins 3.Compromise 4.Ignorance and 5.Scant respect.Though we say that the paavam will go to them at the end of the day we are not satisfied and feel a guilt.I follow the customs and traditions very closely get them veshtees,handsome dakshinai,auto fare etc etc,but still there is lot to be improved.I am told that in Tiruvaiyaru, Sundaresa sarma is conducting shrardham in the traditional disciplined way and many of my friends are extremely happy.We will have to be there the previous night,and perform the religious ceremony in the midst of learned Sastrigals.I havent tried but I am propsing to.

Sabesan Narayanaswami

while thanking Shri.Sabesan Narayanaswami for his update I am told that in general pithru karyams are to be done at the home where one lives for the benefit of the family and receiving aasirvadhams for the whole home overall of the departed soul. Also it is said once in way at PunyaNadhi deerams like Kasi, Ganges etc etc. is a must. I don't know whether to carry out such rituals at another common place on regular basis.

 

[RVR]

while thanking Shri.Sabesan Narayanaswami for his update I am told that in general pithru karyams are to be done at the home where one lives for the benefit of the family and receiving aasirvadhams for the whole home overall of the departed soul. Also it is said once in way at PunyaNadhi deerams like Kasi, Ganges etc etc. is a must. I don't know whether to carry out such rituals at another common place on regular basis.

Dr Sundaram ji,

you are correct. It has to be performed at one's home only. However if facilities are adequate, there is no other option except performing at Vadhyar's home which is a common practice now.

All the best

 

[dhumakethu]

Performance of Pithru Karyas

It is painful and unfortunate that most of the householder brahmins are not able to perform their pitru karma to their satisfaction. The one reason, or the central point of attack, are the Vadhiyars.

I don't hold the brief for either the householder or the Vadhiyars. Instances can be seen when the householder orders the Vadhiyar to finish the whole thing in 30-40 minutes as he has outside commitments, Being a person solely dependent upon this as his whole income the Vadhiyars compromise. In such cases, how can we blame them? Again, are we really receiving and treating the Vadhiyar's the way they should be treated? Hence we can say the major part lies with the householder only. By the sheer force of the intensity of our sincerety of purpose we can make the Vadhyar do it properly. We do show a lot of reluctance in speech with others but many of us let loose our tongue with the Vadhiyars for the simple reason that they are the weakest vessels in our society. Touching our heart how palatable is it to see the Vadhiyar coming in a new two wheeler? When in the other religions such people are revered and respected Vadhiyars are ridiculed and reprimanded for many reasons.

When a particular product becomes a short supply item how much we move heaven and earth to acquire it ? Believe me, the Vadhiyar community is becoming thinner and thinner as most of the Vadhiyars wish their children to take up jobs in companies.

It is the anger of our fore-fathers - and most certainly not the Vadhiyar's forefathers curse - we are trying to avoid. :evil:

In a nutshell it is we who are at the receiving end and we must ensure proper performance of our prayers to our ancestors. We gain nothing by critically anatomizing and disecting the Vadhiyar's lack of knowledge or improper approach as they themselves are not aware of their own ignorance. We should become cold realists and stop only when we get the proper person to ensure that our forefathers have been respected and sent back to their uttama loka.

 

[sadasivam.sridharan]

I am performing my maternal grand mother's thithi since my mother did not have brother and she was the only child to my grand mother.My mother passed away in 2003 and subsequent to this some people told me that there is no need to continue to perform the thithti. Yet there are some others who are of the view that I should perform the thithi till my life time.Though I continue to perform the shraaddam even now,I would to like to know the correct position as per our Dharma Shastras.
S.Sridharan

 

[pbkhema]

The grihya sutra presribe elaborate acts to be done by the brahmins who are to participate in sradhhams.The grihya sutras do not contemplate of Vadyars.So it says a person (B) who is to participate in a ceremony for the pitrus should follow etc etc.The restrictions for the person who does it (Grihasta) is not so strict.
An extract of the Grihya Sutra will take over a page.If I find time soon I will upload it
Next nearly 30 years ago when my fater was doing the ceremonies our Aathu Vadyar used to select the other brahmins very carefully.Once I asked him why has not so and so come he participated in the homam and i]our Vdyar said he is not eligible for Sradham
But nowadays it is a problem to get vadyars and one cannot be coosy

 

[dhumakethu]

Doubt regarding performance of thithi

Dear Sri sadasivam.sridharan,

The sastra is very simple and clear. During their thithi days only our ancestors are permitted to visit this Earth. At that time they will be eager whether any of their descendents are offering food in the form of "pindam".

To those who offer the same they will happily bless and go back to the pitru loka. On other days, they are not allowed to come to this Earth. In any case, whether we are direct descendents or not, if karma is done the blessings are there.

This applies even to friends in the form of Karunya Pitrus. Hence if we have the time and inclination the blessings are there. However, since you are not a direct descendent no curse will be spelt over you if not done. You may act as is convenient and for heavens sake, do not get frightened of any curse, etc.

 

[DURGADASAN]

My grandpa will said that, in those days, the day before the shrardha itself the vadyars will come to their home. The kartha will be in fasting on the previous day and he won't eat outside for that whole week before. They also prepare that much varieties and that much cleanliness the foods. Vadhyars will also eat like that. But, now-a-days vadhyars are also eating less and preparations are also getting diminished. I think "madi" is still somewhat maintained. But what about other things? I mean avoiding outside food, even for the vadyar to the day-before and all... As we adapt to the situations, our pithrus too I think adapted for these kind of situations. So, nothing to worry. They will be happy if they get some pinda. Dont worry for curses and all... The shraddha is the important for shrardha. We nowadays are not correct in keeping brahminism, then how can we say fault on vadhyars... Atleast some faulty vadhyars you people get I think. In madurai, when my thatha came, we literally struggled to get a vadhyar. getting vadhyar itself is a big task now-a-days. I think like varalakshmi pooja, what our mamis are now doing with tape recorders, soon this also come with Taperecorder. Alas... who will sit and eat in Mahavishnu leaf then???

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

I have to totally disagree with Sri RV s post no3.

I refer to Sri dhumaketu’s post no.6.

I want to say that yes, I hold the side of Vadhyars. They are being singled out for attacks by many of our community members as if they are not our own brethren. In my humble opinion why the critics are not becoming vadhyars? Why they chose to have more lucrative careers?

I am so strong biased in this because I have seen sincere devoted vadhyar family all thru in poverty in my native village .I have seen even capable “Grihastas” bicker when it comes to Vadhyar dakshina.They think that Vadhyar is a second class citizen.

None from the new generation in the vadyars family in my native village took the profession.
After the demise of the elder vadhyar the village had to import a young brahmachari in his late teens from a distant paatashaala , and the younger brother of the late vadhyar trained him in prayogas.
Just after a couple of years the other vadhyar also expired. Now the brahmachari has become Grihasta and fully naturalized ,and doing well to the satisfaction of the community members. He is a real modern vadhyar ,with all new technologies to his aid.
This was because the community members realized their mistake and supported him fully till he established himself. .

How many people have real sincerity in performing rituals? Vadhyar adjusts to the Yajamana .Now a days I hear some jealous people commenting about the income of successful vadhyas. What prevents the critics from becoming a vadhyar?

I hereby give a call to those critics, Yes , come, and be a vadhyar.

Many other communities (religions) prosper as they heed to their clergy. We question and criticize our vadhyars.We expect him not to have a normal life like others.This is the result of egoist mind.

Let us learn to respect our Vadhayars. Let us give them a respectful place in our mind and among our society. Let them be our immediate spiritual and religious leads.

Greetings.