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Can intercaste wedding be carried out in the iyer way

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I'm in love with a non Brahmin kannada girl. I told my mom about this and the immediate response included 'ith veenama nammalki !!?',
'you won't be able to do devasham for your dad! ',
"our vadyar won't agree! "
And the list went on...
I've always wanted to follow our customs and traditions and don't want to give up that either, said that I don't want to give up on this girl either.
Is there any way/method to make this work?
 
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