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Broken heart of my sister

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kunjuppu

Active member
Ah well, the ones in the 30s are already middle-aged guys and ammanjis are bound to exist in that group i suppose.

Frankly sir, all this marriage talk wrt social integration and all is nice from the social science pov, but in reality, it is reality that truly bites. Its about one's own life afterall, not about society, friends, caste, image, neighbours, and such crap..

i would say just focus on education, ensure you are settled very-very well in career, and then marry whoever you feel is worth it for the rest of your life.

happy,

my note was from a pov of regret. youth is so brief and so transient, i think, we need to balance the lives of our youth. there is time for study, play, love .. and one cannot assume, if one is denied one of these, the time will be spend on the other, with the same enthusiasm.

just the other day i read in the papers, that a vigorous healthy exercise, actually helps the brain muscles, by pushing fresh doses of blood and thus invigorating it. in my own experience, i have found that nerds mostly had an avearage success rate, compared to those who were 'all rounders' ie who could manage multi focussed life activities.

to sum up: one need not be at the expense of the other. all are equally important. study, play, love. :)
 
vgane

NO way, not at all! Just gather some strong boys from the family, gather some கத்தி, கபடா, அரிவாள் மனை, கடப் பாறை, மண்வெட்டி etc etc and go and get rid of the girl who brought such bad name to the family and if possible the guy too. This would make other brahmin girls who plan to run away with NB boys think twice (no thrice, no - billion times)!

How long can we be as spinless cowards??? We HAVE to show the others that we have spine too!

Cheers and Good Luck

P.S. Disclaimer - Just kidding, not to be taken to the point!


The most careless comment . It is the trait of some NBS (esp. some mudaliars, Goundars), abrahamic religious, who collect gangs for threats [Ref: I lived in vellore! for that matter]. There was never a Brahmins who threatened anyone or acted violently in such cases of defiance. It is the Brahmins esp. the girls, who had to be careful, the other factions (NB in-laws) would get easily provoked. [Not everyone can be good/understanding like Yamaka & CO. ;)] .
 
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Yesterday we got a terrible news that my second daughter of my sister (niece)who is just 22 years, convent [COLOR=#DA7911 !important][COLOR=#DA7911 !important]educated[/COLOR][/COLOR], a employed graduate has run away with a NB.

My sister tried her best to stop the relation for the past 6 months.

She is in tears and is unconsolable

To one and all who felt that my comment is heartless - thanks.

The main grievance expressed in the OP about the convent educated, employed graduate (an adult who is holding a job!) is about eloping with a NB. It is all about a brahmin girl loving a NB boy! And asking for suggestions to nip it in the bud in the future! This is the mentality still in this 21st century! Brahmins want convent education, secular job, practice their religious activities like sandhyavandhan etc according to their time comforts but still claim to be 'brahmins' and despise their girl marrying a boy just because he is a NB!

கூழுக்கும் ஆசை மீசைக்கும் ஆசை
 
To one and all who felt that my comment is heartless - thanks.

The main grievance expressed in the OP about the convent educated, employed graduate (an adult who is holding a job!) is about eloping with a NB. It is all about a brahmin girl loving a NB boy! And asking for suggestions to nip it in the bud in the future! This is the mentality still in this 21st century! Brahmins want convent education, secular job, practice their religious activities like sandhyavandhan etc according to their time comforts but still claim to be 'brahmins' and despise their girl marrying a boy just because he is a NB!

கூழுக்கும் ஆசை மீசைக்கும் ஆசை

It is because the hindu teachers at public/municipal schools are busy napping at school time and make excess money from part-time tuition/business, the education-oriented parents had to resort to private schools. To some extent, I agree with your comment on the convent type education, which is more christianized (atleast for last generation). Unfortunately, our Bs failed to choose Vivekananda, Ramakrishna, Padma-Seshadri , Ahobila mutt kind of schools.

When parents don't pay attention to details in younger ages, don't spent time with them on reasoning/logic/critical thinking, they themselves are lost in emotion/insecurity/career/self-interests and don't practice the required karmAs/meaningful acts, they are to be blamed the most.
 
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Brahmins want convent education, secular job, practice their religious activities like sandhyavandhan etc according to their time comforts but still claim to be 'brahmins' and despise their girl marrying a boy just because he is a NB!

You are a racist! The ancient vedic system has definite skills for Brahmins, to only teach, learn, assists in vedic learning. All other varnas were equally spiritually inclined and supported each other. The British have brought in western/modern education and the dravidian NBs have disowned the vedic karmAs, we cannot be supported monetarily by the society. So, we, Bs ourselves have to adapt to western education and get a job, and assist the vedic priests/temples/leaning/promoting hindu philosophy. FYI, Ramanujam was a mathematician/vegetarian and his genius brought him abroad. We are here abroad or local, and paid for our work, and some of us wouldn't have opted here if the vegetarian situations (groceries) are unavailable.

The convent or modern education like physics/chemistry/biology [Susruta's surgery was the basis of medicine, Brahma Gupta was the basis of math/geometry/algebra, our ancients were the architects! are stolen by the Caliphates (al-biruni), hijacked by Europe/British museum]. Now, Valli like opportunists are western thumpers! How did 'Knowledge on matter, humans' belong only to the convents or the western education?? It is only the education that matters. By the govt. standards, One needs a degree to get a job/living. If the vedic educated (has better logic on matter, living) , cannot be supported by the society, they cant neither be given white collar jobs! Our last 2 generations/ancestors remained illiterates on hindu philosophy and didn't educate us. I pity their need for freedom struggle/poverty/survival. There are 90% Bs who lost their vedic karmAs/understanding, until we revive them, we are stuck between vaidika life and secular life. Until then, we cannot dodge stones thrown by the unrealistic and opportunist ones, like you.

Knowledge is the property of every living being. How is it related to science/religion? Knowledge is in itself a substance/entity. E.g Organizing things is a knowledge, all house-wives organise their kitchen, garden, family etc. and are not convent educated. Change your il-logic!! All the stupid modern/convent-educated Indians make gross errors, whereas the slum dwellers near the Kolkata hospital jumped up to save the hospital patients. Only our stupid governments need degrees. So, knowledge, logic, conscience, humanity are naturally present and is less lacking among the modern educated. Only 1% of the software engineers know Logic/Algorithms, all others are just copy-paste programmers! So, modern education has NO link to intelligence!!

So, Those Bs who are totally secular, may marry NBs. But, it is at their own risk, if they are uncomfortable in their food habits, partying, varied principles/views etc. I knew of some female B teachers married NBs and had to accept non-veg dining, and resulted in divorces (in 1980's). Now that many Bs eat eggs/meat/drink etc. Religion should not matter among Meat-eaters.
 
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Dear Friend,
Everything is possible. Nothing is lost. Life is an opportunity to practice virtue, avoid acts driven by vice, get over the dualities of good and evil, day and night etc., seek the eternal truth and attain Moksha or oneness with the Supreme Reality.

you are not fit to be in this forum ;) just kidding.
 

kunjuppu

Active member
You are a racist! The ancient vedic system has definite skills for Brahmins, to only teach, learn, assists in vedic learning. All other varnas were equally spiritually inclined and supported each other. The British have brought in western/modern education and the dravidian NBs have disowned the vedic karmAs, we cannot be supported monetarily by the society. So, we, Bs ourselves have to adapt to western education and get a job, and assist the vedic priests/temples/leaning/promoting hindu philosophy. FYI, Ramanujam was a mathematician/vegetarian and his genius brought him abroad. We are here abroad or local, and paid for our work, and some of us wouldn't have opted here if the vegetarian situations (groceries) are unavailable.

The convent or modern education like physics/chemistry/biology [Susruta's surgery was the basis of medicine, Brahma Gupta was the basis of math/geometry/algebra, our ancients were the architects! are stolen by the Caliphates (al-biruni), hijacked by Europe/British museum]. Now, Valli like opportunists are western thumpers! How did 'Knowledge on matter, humans' belong only to the convents or the western education?? It is only the education that matters. By the govt. standards, One needs a degree to get a job/living. If the vedic educated (has better logic on matter, living) , cannot be supported by the society, they cant neither be given white collar jobs! Our last 2 generations/ancestors remained illiterates on hindu philosophy and didn't educate us. I pity their need for freedom struggle/poverty/survival. There are 90% Bs who lost their vedic karmAs/understanding, until we revive them, we are stuck between vaidika life and secular life. Until then, we cannot dodge stones thrown by the unrealistic and opportunist ones, like you.

Knowledge is the property of every living being. How is it related to science/religion? Knowledge is in itself a substance/entity. E.g Organizing things is a knowledge, all house-wives organise their kitchen, garden, family etc. and are not convent educated. Change your il-logic!! All the stupid modern/convent-educated Indians make gross errors, whereas the slum dwellers near the Kolkata hospital jumped up to save the hospital patients. Only our stupid governments need degrees. So, knowledge, logic, conscience, humanity are naturally present and is less lacking among the modern educated. Only 1% of the software engineers know Logic/Algorithms, all others are just copy-paste programmers! So, modern education has NO link to intelligence!!

So, Those Bs who are totally secular, may marry NBs. But, it is at their own risk, if they are uncomfortable in their food habits, partying, varied principles/views etc. I knew of some female B teachers married NBs and had to accept non-veg dining, and resulted in divorces (in 1980's). Now that many Bs eat eggs/meat/drink etc. Religion should not matter among Meat-eaters.

???
 
Sri.Govinda, Greetings.

You are a racist!
;
Now, Valli like opportunists are western thumpers!

Sir, you may have very good reasons for calling Sowbagyavathy Valli using some colourful names. I humbly request you to state and prove your reasons, please. If you can't back up your outburst with valid reasonings, i suggest, you make an apology to Sowbagyavathy Valli, please. By the way, I will keep at this until this is sorted out.

The ancient vedic system has definite skills for Brahmins, to only teach, learn, assists in vedic learning.

That means, all the persons who teach, learn and assist in learning are brahmins. One has to accept that.

We are here abroad or local, and paid for our work, and some of us wouldn't have opted here if the vegetarian situations (groceries) are unavailable.

Vegetarianism has nothing to do with vedic or brahmin kind of life. If the vedic period, brahmins also consumed meat.

Knowledge is the property of every living being.

That includes the vedic knowledge too. Where is your effort for such vedic knowledge to be imparted to everyone irrespective of caste?

Sir, I have no desire to analyse your message in detail. I logged in only to ask you to apologise to Sowbagyavathy Valli. I sincerely hope, you would do the needful.

Cheers!
 
My sister's husband passed away a year back...My sister has 2 daughters...First one married in community & settled...Yesterday we got a terrible news that my second daughter of my sister (niece)who is just 22 years, convent educated, a employed graduate has run away with a NB...My sister tried her best to stop the relation for the past 6 months...My sister's family was middle class and conservative...My sister is battered...She is in tears and is unconsolable...What do we do...We tried getting in contact with my niece who has run away,but she does not want any interference...Does this mean we have to be helpless and act as spineless cowards...Does it mean that our society is very weak morally & is on the verge of collapse...Where are we going...Are youngsters not understanding their responsibilities & are they turning wayward...I am looking forward for some meaningful discussion...What are the ways to alleviate the sufferings of my sister & her close relatives...What is the way forward for our community so that such instances are nipped in bud...
Regards,
vgane

Sri.Vgane, Greetings.

Personally, I look at persons as human beings. I am quite surprised, people still can view persons based on B or NB. It really beats me. Blessing your niece does not mean you are a spineless coward; it only means that you are a human being. Successful life for the youngsters in much more important than the caste divisions. Those youngsters need all the support now. It may be quite possible, the NB boy opposed his parents and relatives to stay true to this young B girl. In any event, as grown up adults, we have an obligation to support them and guide them properly in their life. வெட்டியான் கைக்கோல் நீக்கி விடும் நேரம் வரும்போது, கட்டைக்கு ஜாதி ஏது?

The whole grief is only based on the either on ego or to prove the society that 'elders are not at fault'. From this message I understand that your sister opposed the union of her daughter with a NB boy for the last 6 months; she could not stop her daughter. The inner message from your sister is, "I am not at fault; only my daughter was unreasonably adamant". It may very well be the case. But this is not the time to sell the youngster down the river; it is the time to support both youngsters.

By your own admission,it was a conservative family, possibilities were, even B boys were not encouraged to do any courtship. Well, girls love it courtship. I am married for the last 31 years; even now my wife loves my courtship. When we don't allow B boys to get anywhere near our daughters, should we suprised to see a NB boy taking the trophy? Secondly, are we going to accept a 'love proposal' from a B boy? No! we have to look at the status, education, income, prospects etc and above all, horoscope matching! The truth is, nowadays girls are very shrewed, they already look at all these things except horoscope matching. In that process, they also seek someone reasonably handsome and don't pay much attention to caste; why would they?

So, in my opinion, it is imperative to even consider the youngsters as known strangers and help them settle in life in the early days. They need that support. The OP has nothing to with any caste, B or NB. This can happen in any caste. In every caste there is opposition to IC marriages. So, I don't see the OP post based on caste at all.

Cheers!
 
You are a racist!

"கூழுக்கும் ஆசை மீசைக்கும் ஆசை. Brahmins want convent education, secular job, practice their religious activities like sandhyavandhan etc according to their time comforts but still claim to be 'brahmins' and despise their girl marrying a boy just because he is a NB!"

How would you rate her critic on Brahmins? - She indirectly called us hypocrites, greedy, unqualified for education and jobs. In the recent/current trend, a 'single' mother/parent who wants her kids to be educated, employed is normal, how did she become 'mean'(despise) while expressing her dis-comfort in their kids choice? How is all the convent-education, secular job dis-qualify us from marrying B's? Isn't that an irresponsible statement? I accepted VAlli's comment on getting convent-education rather than education from hindu schools (but some schools had de-merits).

Now, Valli like opportunists are western thumpers!

All of us, most Brahmins are convent-educated and have secular jobs, I do sandhya all 3 times/day. Should I disown the spirituality all-together? Why does she think Brahmins are not qualified for western education? Western education was a plagiarised form of un-patented vedas/our indian thought. Isn't this a dis-grace for a philosophical/logical country? We lost the opportunity to obtain pAtashAla at youth. We need degrees for survival/jobs. Without basic survival, what religion can we practice??? [this is exactly, sudras are exempted to practice]. If atleast 20% of the society are vedically oriented as 100 years ago, most landlords reddy/chettiar/naidus were once veg/vaishnavas, we 4% could be simply fed with the temple prasadams and dakshinAs and survive. Her statements/attitudes about Brahmins are like the careless westerners' thought, who didn't understand the spiritual context, 'begging was made a privilege for Brahmins in their scriptures'. Because for them, vedic education doesn't need to be shared and earned dakshina. One flawed attitude, will lead to many more.

If you can't back up your outburst with valid reasonings, i suggest, you make an apology to Sowbagyavathy Valli, please. By the way, I will keep at this until this is sorted out.

I have no personal dis-regard for Valli. But, I feel hurt for her general careless statements. Why does she think, she is a fore-seer like rishis (bhUta-bhavya-bhavath-prabhu)? She has to regard other's faith/religion/opinion in terms of time and space.

I appreciate your concern for her, but there is nothing wrong I have expressed to apologize. If she promises to be respectful to our scriptures/rishis, I would apologize to her as a BhAgavatha. I dont apologize to anyone for fanciness or personal agendas.

The ancient vedic system has definite skills for Brahmins, to only teach, learn, assists in vedic learning.
That means, all the persons who teach, learn and assist in learning are brahmins. One has to accept that.

Oops! You missed the 'Vedic learning'. Vedic learning is an 'Integrated Learning' for body/health, mind, spirituality, societal welfare, ethics/values etc., not the carry memorizing english disctionary/technical terms. There is no 'learning(jnana) or practice(karma)' like Advaita and Indian education system thinks, there is only 'Intelligent Practice' or 'Uninformed Practice'. If our learning is the latter, then we are not Brahmins. The Brahmin doctors using CT scans or giving antibiotics without suggesting a veggi/yogurt meal and meditation, are vaishyAs (business minded)! Whereas western nurses/doctors are likely to obtain Brahminhood for their honesty and dedication.

We are here abroad or local, and paid for our work, and some of us wouldn't have opted here if the vegetarian situations (groceries) are unavailable.
Vegetarianism has nothing to do with vedic or brahmin kind of life. If the vedic period, brahmins also consumed meat.

Oops! wrong. I will give the ref.*** for not consuming or wearing any ash - even the homa or sacrificed ash. One is disqualified from Brahminism for wearing any ash too. I remember, Before cooking, they remove the cooking ash (aduppu) every morning.

Knowledge is the property of every living being.
That includes the vedic knowledge too. Where is your effort for such vedic knowledge to be imparted to everyone irrespective of caste?

All 3 varnas are required to undergo sacred thread by age 8. All have to learn and chant vedas and only Brahmins can teach vedas (who exclusively adhere to strict rules and hence not allowed to do other jobs for money). Sudras, being fishermen, barbers etc. needn't practice sandhya/vedas as they are constantly in a un-hygienic environment. Barbers also should have worn the forehead marks/hindu attire to serve other varnas. Brahmins cannot be served physically by anyone, so the idea of menial jobs were from the British who introduced stupid floor toilets and Brahmins would have opposed them, like in the leather/bovine/butchery products. But, we were under their complete control and had to resort. Now, we have become cheaper (tea stalls/eating out/movies etc.) and westerners have become more civilized. I have naidu and reddy families who were vaishnavas in par with our grand-parents, and adorn sacred-thread/tiruman, participated in vedanta discourses. That is exactly, why present India is not the reflection of the past/ancient India and cannot be mis-judged and speak ill of our ancestors and their ancient wisdom!

Sir, I have no desire to analyse your message in detail. I logged in only to ask you to apologise to Sowbagyavathy Valli. I sincerely hope, you would do the needful.

You don't hear the both sides of a case (read/analyse) and want to be a claimant/complainant. This shows , you are just emotional, not reasonable. Oops! the case is dismissed ;)
 
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renuka

Well-known member
Dear all,

Valli was just giving her opinion in a light hearted manner.
All I can say is she didnt start the fire.
If anyone feels that it was wrong of her to suggest Non Ahimsa methods to handle this Intercaste marriage matter..what does anyone have to say about the Non Ahimsa missiles of words launched at Valli?

Ahimsa is not merely Non Violence in Actions(Deed) but also Non Violence in Thoughts and Words.
 
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The ancient vedic system has definite skills for Brahmins, to only teach, learn, assists in vedic learning.
Please provide proof in which ancient "vedic system" all this is mentioned.

All other varnas were equally spiritually inclined and supported each other.
Where is the proof that Varnas in the context of being "equally spiritual' and "supporting each other" ever existed in the vedic period or anytime else ?

The British have brought in western/modern education and the dravidian NBs have disowned the vedic karmAs, we cannot be supported monetarily by the society.
lol. So dravidian NBs themselves disowned vedic karmas? If so, then why even till date TBs oppose so-called "dravidian NBs" learning vedic karmas? Why TBs oppose NBs from even learning agamas and functioning as temple priests (let alone vedic karmas)?

Blaming the brits is the escapist way out. Better to stop making escapist excuses, recognise facts and find solutions to solve issues.

So, we, Bs ourselves have to adapt to western education and get a job, and assist the vedic priests/temples/leaning/promoting hindu philosophy.
Just because 'dravidian NBs' gave up vedic karmas, so you guys had to get yourselves western education and jobs. Lol. Better to cut this excuse spree Govinda.

Everyone knows it was the lure of money, cars, good jobs, the social position that comes with it, that made agraharams empty with TBs themselves going in droves to work for colonialists. It was the desire to rise higher in position and authority (as everyone irrespective of caste desires to do). No "dravidian NB" asked TBs to go and work for white masters.

First there were brahmadeyams, then this was no longer feasible due to frequent petty wars in a period marked with muslim inquisitions. So brahmadeyams were scrapped and instead kingdoms started supporting brahmins with brahmabojanams and annadanams.

Even when the British Raj begun, it was considered punyam and instilled deep into the religious values of folks to conduct brahmabhojans. Even EVR's father used to conduct them (see the movie Periyar). But then i suppose this was not sufficient for TBs.

The lure of a steady income, desire for position, good career prospects of raising to authoritative positions, etc made the TBs go for colonial jobs. Please stop making excuses that 'dravidian NBs' stopped doing vedic karmas or stopped supporting TBs.

The convent or modern education like physics/chemistry/biology [Susruta's surgery was the basis of medicine, Brahma Gupta was the basis of math/geometry/algebra, our ancients were the architects! are stolen by the Caliphates (al-biruni), hijacked by Europe/British museum]. Now, Valli like opportunists are western thumpers!
Did Valli say she likes western stuff / thumpers ? Btw, reg stealth of the ancients, you wud not want to dig into it and cause yourself heartache.

How did 'Knowledge on matter, humans' belong only to the convents or the western education?? It is only the education that matters. By the govt. standards, One needs a degree to get a job/living. If the vedic educated (has better logic on matter, living) , cannot be supported by the society, they cant neither be given white collar jobs! Our last 2 generations/ancestors remained illiterates on hindu philosophy and didn't educate us. I pity their need for freedom struggle/poverty/survival. There are 90% Bs who lost their vedic karmAs/understanding, until we revive them, we are stuck between vaidika life and secular life. Until then, we cannot dodge stones thrown by the unrealistic and opportunist ones, like you.
So you want to revive vedic karmas/understanding in 90% Bs who lost it? How do you propose to do it? Do vedic karmas/understanding belong to Bs alone?

All the stupid modern/convent-educated Indians make gross errors, whereas the slum dwellers near the Kolkata hospital jumped up to save the hospital patients. Only our stupid governments need degrees. So, knowledge, logic, conscience, humanity are naturally present and is less lacking among the modern educated. Only 1% of the software engineers know Logic/Algorithms, all others are just copy-paste programmers! So, modern education has NO link to intelligence!!
Which form of ancient education had any link to intelligence? Please explain.
 
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Western education was a plagiarised form of un-patented vedas/our indian thought. Isn't this a dis-grace for a philosophical/logical country?
Proof please?

We lost the opportunity to obtain pAtashAla at youth. We need degrees for survival/jobs.
Nobody is preventing you from going to a vedapathsala and working as a purohit even now. Bad excuses do not convince anyone anymore.

Without basic survival, what religion can we practice??? [this is exactly, sudras are exempted to practice].
Please explain how this is connected to exempting sudras from practice of religion?

If atleast 20% of the society are vedically oriented as 100 years ago, most landlords reddy/chettiar/naidus were once veg/vaishnavas, we 4% could be simply fed with the temple prasadams and dakshinAs and survive.
Maybe you will be satisfied being fed with prasadams and dakshinas. Alright...So why not go to a vedapatshala, train there and start working in a temple. You can do that anytime. Who is stopping you?

Oops! You missed the 'Vedic learning'. Vedic learning is an 'Integrated Learning' for body/health, mind, spirituality, societal welfare, ethics/values etc., not the carry memorizing english disctionary/technical terms. There is no 'learning(jnana) or practice(karma)' like Advaita and Indian education system thinks, there is only 'Intelligent Practice' or 'Uninformed Practice'. If our learning is the latter, then we are not Brahmins. The Brahmin doctors using CT scans or giving antibiotics without suggesting a veggi/yogurt meal and meditation, are vaishyAs (business minded)! Whereas western nurses/doctors are likely to obtain Brahminhood for their honesty and dedication.
cool, so why not ask western nurses/doctors to convert to brahminhood for their "honesty" and "dedication". Are you saying "honesty' and 'dedication" belongs to brahmins alone? May i know how please?

Afaik, there are westerners (whites) members of iskon, well placed in the medical field, but they are not considered brahmins by self-appointed krishna kesha jataputras (after all the purvamimansa states having a son with dark hair is a prerequisite for a brahman).

Oops! wrong. I will give the ref.*** for not consuming or wearing any ash - even the homa or sacrificed ash. One is disqualified from Brahminism for wearing any ash too. I remember, Before cooking, they remove the cooking ash (aduppu) every morning.
Tell that to a Saiva wearing ashes. Ask him if he is willing to be disqualified from 'brahmanism".

All 3 varnas are required to undergo sacred thread by age 8.
Proof please?

All have to learn and chant vedas and only Brahmins can teach vedas (who exclusively adhere to strict rules and hence not allowed to do other jobs for money). Sudras, being fishermen, barbers etc. needn't practice sandhya/vedas as they are constantly in a un-hygienic environment.
Please show me an instance of any one kingdom anywhere in south india where brahmins did not take to other jobs. Also, 'brahmins' employed with sulabh cleaning toilets still claime to be Bs and practice sandhya? Why have they not been removed from their varna? Btw, does performing sandhya make one a B?

Brahmins cannot be served physically by anyone, so the idea of menial jobs were from the British who introduced stupid floor toilets and Brahmins would have opposed them, like in the leather/bovine/butchery products.
Proof please?
 

KRS

Active member
Dear Sri Govinda Ji,

Sowbhagyavathi Valli Ji made a tongue in cheek comment. Please do not overreact.

You can not call her 'racist' based on facts. Please withdraw that statement. If you do not, there will be consequences. You can disagree with her views, but you are not allowed to label anyone in this Forum.

I am warning others not to inflame passions. Let us stick to the intention of why this thread was started.

Regards,
KRS
 
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Dear Sri Govinda Ji,

Thank you. By all means conduct a civil dialog with her, disagreeing with her as much and as strong you want, but in a civil way. Labeling, as you correctly said is not permitted.

I also see that you have not apologized to her but only to the Forum. Given the circumstances, I will accept your apology as also directed towards her, because she was the one labeled. But please let this not happen again.

Regards,
KRS

Dear Sri Govinda Ji,

Sowbhagyavathi Valli Ji made a tongue in cheek comment. Please do not overreact.

You can not call her 'racist' based on facts. Please withdraw that statement. If you do not, there will be consequences. You can disagree with her views, but you are not allowed to label anyone in this Forum.

I am warning others not to inflame passions. Let us stick to the intention of why this thread was started.

Regards,
KRS

I apologize for the usage against forum rules. But her discriminative attitude reg. Brahmin heritage or living or understanding is very hurtful and ridiculous and distasteful. Post 4 and Post 6 and 28 are such examples. With underlying 'erroneous perception/intention', one cannot offer good suggestions/judgements.

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"NO way, not at all! Just gather some strong boys from the family, gather some கத்தி, கபடா, அரிவாள் மனை, கடப் பாறை, மண்வெட்டி etc etc and go and get rid of the girl who brought such bad name to the family and if possible the guy too. This would make other brahmin girls who plan to run away with NB boys think twice (no thrice, no - billion times)!

How long can we be as spinless cowards??? We HAVE to show the others that we have spine too!

Cheers and Good Luck

P.S. Disclaimer - Just kidding, not to be taken to the point!

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பிராமணர்களே சிந்தியுங்கள், ஜாதி முக்கியமா அல்லது பிராமணர்கள் அல்லாதவர்களுடன் ஓடிப்போன பெண் முக்கியமா? கண்டிப்பாக ஜாதி தான் முக்கியம்! நாம் மூன்று வேளையும் சிந்தி செய்யாவிட்டால் என்ன? நாம் பிறப்பால் பிராமணர்கள்! அதை யாராலும் மாற்ற முடியாது! நாம் வேலைக்குப்போய் பிறரிடம் சம்பளம் வாங்கினால் என்ன? நாம் சூத்திரர்கள் ஆகி விடுவோமா? ஆனால் நம் குலத்தில் பிறந்து பிற மகனுடன் ஓடிச்சென்ற நம் குலத்துப் பெண் இனிமேல் பிராமணத்தி இல்லை!

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The main grievance expressed in the OP about the convent educated, employed graduate (an adult who is holding a job!) is about eloping with a NB. It is all about a brahmin girl loving a NB boy! And asking for suggestions to nip it in the bud in the future! This is the mentality still in this 21st century! Brahmins want convent education, secular job, practice their religious activities like sandhyavandhan etc according to their time comforts but still claim to be 'brahmins' and despise their girl marrying a boy just because he is a NB!

கூழுக்கும் ஆசை மீசைக்கும் ஆசை
 
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Perhaps one can give up all other vices, expiate and return to the roots; not so in the case of marriage. It is considered a life long commitment and for the continuance and propagation of grihasta dharma.

Cutting or continuing relationship and accepting is individual's choice. Quoting or blaming manu smruti is of no use as it is not followed by anybody. There is no official excommunication from the community.

Some study and prepare themselves for a particular profession, say medical, but end up following something else, better or worse than the earlier one.

Why such harsh words?

Dear members

பிராமணர்களே சிந்தியுங்கள், ஜாதி முக்கியமா அல்லது பிராமணர்கள் அல்லாதவர்களுடன் ஓடிப்போன பெண் முக்கியமா? கண்டிப்பாக ஜாதி தான் முக்கியம்! நாம் மூன்று வேளையும் சிந்தி செய்யாவிட்டால் என்ன? நாம் பிறப்பால் பிராமணர்கள்! அதை யாராலும் மாற்ற முடியாது! நாம் வேலைக்குப்போய் பிறரிடம் சம்பளம் வாங்கினால் என்ன? நாம் சூத்திரர்கள் ஆகி விடுவோமா? ஆனால் நம் குலத்தில் பிறந்து பிற மகனுடன் ஓடிச்சென்ற நம் குலத்துப் பெண் இனிமேல் பிராமணத்தி இல்லை!

நாம் தண்ணி அடிக்கலாம், non-veg சும் சாப்பிடலாம், but still we are brahmins! Why? Because we are born as brahmins!!! God created as thus! ஆனால், not for girls!!!

Girls, do you ever read Manu Sastiram?? Oh, people, don't come behind me! Please read what is available here!!!

Girls, please know your limit and act according it!
 
What a gross misuse and misinterpretation of statistics. Whoever came to this conclusion deserves 'best statistician award'.

Ratio of South Indian brahmin brides available between the ages of 23 ~ 38 is 1,000 for every 7,000 brahmin bridegrooms in the age bracket of 25~45 seeking according to Thambraas Association registration statistics. The situation is NOT going to improve any time soon! If anything, it will get worse, over the next 25 years, before it can get any better! By then, most of the boys in the age group of 40+ would have reached their 65's and passed on!

Otherwise, the Brahmin boys of South India may NEVER be able to move from their current "Brahmacharya" "ashram" into "Grahasthashramam".
God bless them in their noble search and seeking with early matrimony!
 
There is no limit to generalizations. How can such silly statements hurt? They only generate pity for display of ill intentions and ignorance.

So, the female mind probably gets attracted by things essentially non-tabra; and in this probably lies the epitaph of brahmin caste, imho!

P.S. I have written my honest opinion. If it hurts, kindly pardon me, but please try to ponder over what I write, without bias.
 
My sister's husband passed away a year back...My sister has 2 daughters...First one married in community & settled...Yesterday we got a terrible news that my second daughter of my sister (niece)who is just 22 years, convent educated, a employed graduate has run away with a NB...My sister tried her best to stop the relation for the past 6 months...My sister's family was middle class and conservative...My sister is battered...She is in tears and is unconsolable...What do we do...We tried getting in contact with my niece who has run away,but she does not want any interference...Does this mean we have to be helpless and act as spineless cowards...Does it mean that our society is very weak morally & is on the verge of collapse...Where are we going...Are youngsters not understanding their responsibilities & are they turning wayward...I am looking forward for some meaningful discussion...What are the ways to alleviate the sufferings of my sister & her close relatives...What is the way forward for our community so that such instances are nipped in bud...Regards,vgane
okay..i dont really know what to say about this..but seriously one thing for sure...just by restricting the brahmin girl,just by beating her and her guy up after they elope is not going to help them neither is it going to do any good to all the younger brahmin girls and guys..If despite measures taken to stop a brahmin-non brahmin realtionship,it is not working then it is destined that the relationship should stay...it hurts definitely...but it will get healed in due course...we have to first learn the lesson of forgiveness and acceptance ..before we even think of community rules or whatever it may be...the girl who eloped is also under so much of pressure,tension,depression..think about her also..accept her and call her back alongwith her guy and she'll be back sooner than you can think..she's more important than the community..isn't it??
 

sravna

Well-known member
The question really is not whether the girl is right in choosing a boy from a different caste. But whether there is a change in the way the girls or the boys look at the world and whether these decisions are made because of that? And whether such a change is for the better or for the worse? If it is for the worse what can be done to stem its progress? So personally I think that the boy is not a brahmin is therefore a lesser issue. Having married the boy I think just as many others that the she should be accepted wholeheartedly by her family.
 
There is no limit to generalizations. How can such silly statements hurt? They only generate pity for display of ill intentions and ignorance.

Shri sarang,

I should thank you because my comments appeared silly and so not deserving any "hurt". That is good; there are some nurses/doctors whose injections do not generate pain even in young children;).

That said, water is flowing down forcefully down the Har ki pauri and one cannot take bath in the same river again, as Buddha said. So, instead of clutching adamantly on to some perceived value systems, it may be better for young people like you to look around, see the way the times are a-changing, and decide whether one would like to be last as history takes shape.
 
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