Agni Manthra, homa for divorce

[Govinda]

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To me relationships are for the living organism (including human beings).

Marriages and divorce are strictly social, by making it religious we try to put pressure on the couple to stay together for social reasons.

Relationships are born out of understanding, sharing, compromise, valuing other's rights. Marriage is a personal commitment. Marriage is done after the childhood learning (failures/corrrections), parental guidance, education, plus when two people mature to that marriageable age. Marriage is different from other relationships (Parents, friends, siblings, society etc.). Thus, it is a commitment that both are obliged to support each other and their kids' future. They are committed to changing or tuning their attitudes, preferences for each other's progress/welfare. By doing so, they infact become better social persons and be a nice precedent for their generations. You cannot just quit if you have promised [ except in 1 in 10,000 cases], else we will produce a sensitive, emotional, childish society, which will result in poly-gamy, abuses etc (as seen in some african countries) after two generations. Start bringing up mature children, less materialistic, less egoistic, not let them throw tantrums/demands for every small desires/distractions!

Thus, Marriages/divorce are social responsibilities! Their outcomes and statistics will influence the society, the next generations!! Like you have privileges for Citizenship, you must abide by the rules and be patriotic for the country. Every commitment has rights/responsibilities. Whoever violates should be dealt with and corrected to 99% of the time! (not by going to the court, but by fixing the attitudes/problems). If such divorces are frequently entertained, they will exhibit the same behaviour with umpteen other innocent spouses! Ask them to fix their problems within that marriage/commitment.

P.S: The example of the beginning post, I guess, that the boy had a secret issue, and would have made the girl, a sacrificial goat! A girl may have high demands before marriage but she will never want money outside the marriage, but may elope for a lover. We haven't degraded so much!

 

[Govinda]

In brahman there is no duality, so there is no marriage or divorce, there is birth and death.

These are your own words, how is it relevant or right?

 

[prasad1]

These are your own words, how is it relevant or right?

Sorry missing "NO", I changed my post.

 

[biswa]

So was Rama, the Bhagwan of all Hindus born out this "wrong idea"? Or were his mother and all his step mothers barren?

Besides, do you understand the concept of a joke? Do you realize that this whole agni homam idea for a divorce is nothing but a joke?

Even second-marriage is allowed only when the first wife is deceased or unable to bear children, above all only if the person is willing.

Divorce/Re-marriage are not as in-animate as buying another cellphone or switching providers! Change your modern, false conception!
This shows the wrong approach of the modern education or the Indian mentality!!

Wrong mind/attitudes/behaviours/problems has to be fixed in the possessing person! Dont teach futile ideas!! Give right education!

Fix the root-cause of problems, be it in the health, diet, mind, brought-up. Don't treat the symptom, it will get contagious elsewhere and later in the same person. This is the same mantra for fixing the society (as in the treatment of diseases!).

 

[renuka]

Divorce is not allowed in the Hindu tradition. Multiple marriages are ok however! So if you are not happy with one spouse, get another!

Dear Biswa,

How did you read my mind?

 

[renuka]

Frankly speaking when we sit in front of the fire for marriage..the Fire is a subtle messenger to transmit messages to higher regions for blessings.

It is like how we send greetings and seeks blessings via email these days.

But technically we humans can NOT be totally united with anyone.Our body is our own make up of previous Karma and we just come for a while fly around like moth and like how a moth fatally gets attracted to fire we are consumed by Agni finally.

So why get so carried away by making a huge pomp and show of marriage or even divorce?
I feel doing Homa for a divorce is a waste of time and money too and besides making the smoke alarm trigger.

As far as I know many people celebrate divorce with a glass filled up with C2H5OH and the only mantra they recite is CHEERS!

 

[Govinda]

So was Rama, the Bhagwan of all Hindus born out this "wrong idea"? Or were his mother and all his step mothers barren? Besides, do you understand the concept of a joke? Do you realize that this whole agni homam idea for a divorce is nothing but a joke?

Wow!

Jokes aside, you want to prove your wrong notion!

Kausalya had a girl baby (Santa), but Dasaratha married sumitra and kaikeya, and none of them could bear him a son (last two not even a baby). That's when he decided to go for putra-kAmeshti yagam ( + Aswamedha). But Kings, rishis are excpetions! We are dealing with common people, based on which society's moral/ethics are built up or saved.

I have even known widowers who never married, inspite of vedic injunction that every brahmin (doing agni-hotra/rituals) should be married! Agni karyam can be performed only with a wife.

What are you smoking, for the ruin of youngsters? Convey only the right messages in an open forum, keep the few exceptions as secret LOL!

So, you want a crude joke ? I am ok with the idea of 4 wives (even 60,000) as long as they dont divorce lol!

 

[prasad1]

The original post was in my opinion expressing frustration with the society. He expressed may be in mirth an alternative to divorce. His idea (though lame) was to shame the couple to stay together.
We have to accept the reality, there are birth based relations, on which we have no say. And then there are relationship we create like marriage, friendship, partnership, boss, neighbor, etc. Sometimes relationship beaks down, we all feel sorry, and try to make up, but sometimes nothing works. We then have to go our separate ways.

Our relationships may be made in heaven, but we have to live in this society. There is no point in justifying our "ideal imagined" way of life, on the basis of some scriptures, or some ancient story. You have live in the present world, with the present day norms of the society.

Cope with reality for a change.

 

[sangom]

Sangomji,

I want the meaning of the mantras in English, please.

Thanks,
Jai SiyaRaam

ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you to ensure plentifulness in food.)

dve ūrje viṣṇustānvetu ((May viṣṇu accompany you and provide physical strength.)

trīṇi vratāya viṣṇustānvetu ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and ensure your faithfulness.)

catvāri mayobhavāya viṣṇustānvetu ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and provide the ability to give comfort.)


pañca paśubhyaḥ viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you to provide plentifulness in cattle.)

ṣaḍṛtubhyaḥ viṣṇustānvetu viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and make the seasons favourable; the word "ṛtu" also means, in Sanskrit, the menstrual cycle.)

sapta saptabhyo hotrābhyo viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you so that you are able to perform all the recommended homas in your lifetime.)

 

[jaisiyaraam]

ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you to ensure plentifulness in food.)

dve ūrje viṣṇustānvetu ((May viṣṇu accompany you and provide physical strength.)

trīṇi vratāya viṣṇustānvetu ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and ensure your faithfulness.)

catvāri mayobhavāya viṣṇustānvetu ekamiṣe viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and provide the ability to give comfort.)


pañca paśubhyaḥ viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you to provide plentifulness in cattle.)

ṣaḍṛtubhyaḥ viṣṇustānvetu viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you and make the seasons favourable; the word "ṛtu" also means, in Sanskrit, the menstrual cycle.)

sapta saptabhyo hotrābhyo viṣṇustānvetu (May viṣṇu accompany you so that you are able to perform all the recommended homas in your lifetime.)

Thanks a lot Sangomji !!!
I am an ardent reader of your post.

Thanks,
Jai SiyaRaam

 

[manoharkumar]

The original post was in my opinion expressing frustration with the society. He expressed may be in mirth an alternative to divorce. His idea (though lame) was to shame the couple to stay together.
We have to accept the reality, there are birth based relations, on which we have no say. And then there are relationship we create like marriage, friendship, partnership, boss, neighbor, etc. Sometimes relationship beaks down, we all feel sorry, and try to make up, but sometimes nothing works. We then have to go our separate ways.

Our relationships may be made in heaven, but we have to live in this society. There is no point in justifying our "ideal imagined" way of life, on the basis of some scriptures, or some ancient story. You have live in the present world, with the present day norms of the society.

Cope with reality for a change.​

Very Truly said Prasad Sir. I also felt the same way..
Cheers.

 

[Govinda]

Sometimes relationship beaks down, we all feel sorry, and try to make up, but sometimes nothing works. We then have to go our separate ways. Our relationships may be made in heaven, but we have to live in this society. There is no point in justifying our "ideal imagined" way of life, on the basis of some scriptures, or some ancient story. You have live in the present world, with the present day norms of the society. Cope with reality for a change.

I repeated the similar words, they should get counselling, try different ways to accomodate, change, then discuss openly with friends/relatives and try more concerete ways. But, you are 'qucik to divorce', which is the difference!! (Joke!) Most cases, in the recent decades, the people/couple just dodge from sharing with anyone (even with the parents), they simply wanted to execute their recent fascinations.

You are the one who posted the "imagined Ideal", under the topic of 'Forgiveness".

"Our dharma is to be kind, pure, honest, giving, sharing and caring. Others, due to ignorance, lack of understanding or due to the way in which their own karmic drama is unfolding, may act with malice, deceit, selfishness and indifference. But we must not let their actions or their ignorance deprive us of fulfilling our dharma. We must not allow ourselves to be lowered by their ignorance, their habits or their greed. The darkness in their heart should not be allowed to penetrate into the lightness of our hearts. "

http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/general-discussions/10343-how-should-we-act-world-our-dharma.html

It is the responsibility of every individual to uphold dharma, not in the hiding, but bringing up the negative things and bring the lost-minded to realization. In case of marriage too, it is the other 'mature/kind' person's duty to be patient, yielding and make the other person realize his/her futile behaviours. 99% we should make it happen, 1% failure are o.k. Even that's enough of a higher percentage to mess up the society!

Every neighbour, family, friends, relatives should take pro-active responsibilty to see every other couple is living a contented, dharmic, responsible life. It is not just the couple's responsibilty! Carry a stick and we should proclaim our duty to interfere/advice those related to us, and bypass their 'Lakshman Rekha' of Privacy/Interference!! I have seen the plight of single moms and the trauma for the deserted kids! It is simply their irresponsibility to change to the common family goals!!

Cope with reality for a change.

BOLLYWOOD is not a Reality.

 

[prasad1]

Sir,
I am only reporting the happenings in society. I am not inventing the stories. You dont kill the messender just because you do not like the message.
Divorce Rate in India
Acknowledging India’s respect for its culture and social ethics, one can guess that India enjoys a low divorce rate. But it is more surprising to know that the divorce rate in India ranks lowest among all the countries of the world. Statistics shows that only 1 out of 100 Indian marriages end up to a divorce which is quite low in comparison to America’s 50% of marriages turning into breakups. The rate of divorce in India was even low in the previous decade, where only 7.40 marriages out of 1,000 marriages were annulled. The divorce rate in Indian villages is even lower in caparison to urban India.

The following figures will help you to get an idea about the divorce rate in India with respect to global divorce rate.


Sweden – 54.9%
United States – 54.8%
Russia – 43.3%
United Kingdom – 42.6
Germany – 39.4%
Israel – 14.8%
Singapore – 17.2%
Japan – 1.9%
Srilanka – 1.5%
India – 1.1%
Even though India still boasts of that nearly hundred percent of the marriages are a success, rapid urbanization and awareness of various rights are now instigating the divorce rate to shoot up. Empowerment of women has initiated the dissolution of marriage in urban areas as financially educated women are now open to the option of ending the relationship rather than to bear life long abuses silently. The campaigns on gender equality are now giving rise to ego clashes between the husband and wife, especially if the wife too is the bread earner of the family.

 

[manoharkumar]

Dear Mr.Govinda,

it is nice to post about our dharma and what should be done. But is this possible in todays time? We dont know who is living in the flat next to ours. No one has time to interfere in others lives and set them up right. IF there is a commotion in the road few people stare for few minutes and then walk away. This is the case for fights etc in the street, if it is accident not even they will stand but run away from the place.

Carry a stick and we should proclaim our duty to interfere/advice those related to us, and bypass their 'Lakshman Rekha' of Privacy/Interference!!

OMG, mr.Govinda sir, interference is itself a nuisence for others and here you are advising to carry a stick!!! I am sorry i cannot imagine this happening anywhere except in your post!!
How can you change the "sakunis"( mentioned by you in some other thread of the persons creating rift in families) in your or relatives family!! Will you give them time limit to change?
Upholding of Dharma etc is not for the present day world. Yesterday three persons driving a bike after consuming liquor hit my colleagues Hondacity, parked in front of the office. Even though we had the bike key with us, few of the friends of this three person came and threatened the office gate keepwer, the Police which was called to help, moved the bike away!! Goondaism and sheer political power rules nowadays!!
I am sorry Dharma etc went to heavens along with Dharmaputra when he left this world !! Please don't jump on me for responding in this way.. But this is the world i am seeing daily, and nothing beyond that!!

Cheers

 

[sangom]

When I read the OP first time, I was thinking whether it was written in jest or seriously. But since the thread starter seems to specialize in exotic and weird topics, I felt that probably it was in all seriousness that he might have written

I also feel that the escape route of "divorce" is salutary and hence necessary for the society. But, as an old man with hardly any knowledge of AD Life (After Divorce Life, i.e.,) my opinion is that divorcees - both sexes, that is, both the parties to the divorce - should follow the maxim "once bitten twice shy" and altogether avoid the experiment again, irrespective of their age. Perhaps the law should be amended accordingly so that there will not be any 'incentive' for divorce but a very strong disincentive; something like if you fail in an exam. in the first attempt, your fate is sealed for ever.

How do our members react to this suggestion please?

 

[tbs]

hi
somebody failed/got low marks in first attempt...some times he gets highest marks.in secind attempt....there some examples of IAS e

exams......first attempt not in the rank list...second/third time got a rank list....like wise some second attempts divorcees are

succeded in second/third marriages.....more experiences more perfection.....

 

[HARE RAMA HARE KRISHNA]

vinai vithaithavan vinai aruppan , thinai vithaithavan thinai aruppan.

if artha and kama alone is the pursuit, please dont expect any order in any thing. prepare for dis-order in every thing.

nowadays 95% of brahmins dont care about dharma aka order. they are pre-occupied with artha and kama alone.

 

[Raji Ram]

In the previous generations, horoscope matching was the main criteria for the search of 'varans'. A 'paNikkar'

used to mark I class, II class and III class for compatibility of horoscopes. Parents used to proceed even with

the III class matching! There is a saying that we can proceed if 'anjukku rendu pazhuthillai', which implies only

40% compatibility of horoscopes, status of the family, education, height and complexion! The parents proceeded

with not so good matches too. Men and women had more level of toleration. One of the couples had the upper

hand in the family - jokingly noted as Chidhambaram / Madurai!! Now a days, people want to get 100% match

of all the aspects and go on searching, till the wards reach almost middle age! Even if the wedding happens much

earlier, the couple find less compatibility afterwards and wish to get separated. This might be the effect of 'Kali'!!

 

[Ramacchandran]

The original post
[h=2]Agni Manthra, homa for divorce[/h]

When the marriage is conducted we invite friends and relatives, tie the knot with the chanting of manthra in presence of holy Agni, and share the joy of of a newly wedded and bless them. When the same couple apply for a divorce, is there any manthra that can be chanted in presence of Holy Agni so that the tied knot can be undone and thrown in to the agni and make the marriage as null and invalid? We can invite the same friends and relatives whom we invited tor divorce, offer them food and return the gift that they presented, declaring on the same platform that the girl and boy now separate and any one who wish can approach them in the same mandap. The legal let it follow. When we pay in 1000's to lawyer why can't we pay the prohit few rupees? (If possible we invite the same prohit who conducted the marriage and the astrologers who said that the horoscope coincides and marriage can be conducted)

​

was posted at least some or few people who go for divorce will give a second taught. We believe Agni is supreme and if a couple united agni as witness they bind themselves.

If we ourselves neglect our own custom then how can we say others will respect our words?
The hair cutter asked me one about this and I have no answer. But said, the Brahmin girls prefer marriage with non brahmins and non brahmins marry the girls believing that their children will brought up with superior?! culture. (Now a days we see at least 100 ads saying Father N.B mother Brahmin, brought up in Brahmin culture etc ) But in reality the wards born to these couples prefer to go with the Fathers culture! and mother has no answer! In our area some 25 years back, an Iyer girl married a Muslim she went as Muslim and even to day her children even though they look as Brahmin takes Non Veg! Once I met all of them in the bank! and enquired about her. She replied life moves on!. But her children asked me who I am and I replied. They said their mother is a best cook in preparing non veg items which their aunt and Grand mother appreciate. The education part they said only average!

So if a Brahmin follows his own way of life he is respected, and if he prefers only money the receiver will praise before and laugh at the back! The foreigners prefers a marriage in Hindu style believing the marriage will last long! but our girls see the husband as money making machine, who should earn millions satisfy with the money alone. Hope there was a film in which Actress urvasi sells her husband for one crore? The days are there one day the girls will sell their husband for money or lend him! This is my opinion (after seeing the present day ads)

 

[Raji Ram]

...... They said their mother is a best cook in preparing non veg items which their aunt and Grand mother appreciate. ......

Dear Sir,

This fact does not surprise me at all! Shall tell you why....

One of my cousin brothers, who was a senior doctor in military, got married to an orthodox Tambram girl.

When my mother visited them after a few years, she found a lot of NV stuff in the fridge on the very first day.

My cousin's wife (then a mother of two kids) requested my mother not to open the fridge and also not to enter

the kitchen! My mother knew the reason within a few minutes because the 'smell' of cooking was enough to show

that NV stuff is being prepared. My mom wondered how the orthodox brahmin could learn to prepare such items!
The reason she gave was that in their military canteen, NV stuff were much more cheaper than vegetables! :faint:

 

[prasad1]

The original post
Agni Manthra, homa for divorce

When the marriage is conducted we invite friends and relatives, tie the knot with the chanting of manthra in presence of holy Agni, and share the joy of of a newly wedded and bless them. When the same couple apply for a divorce, is there any manthra that can be chanted in presence of Holy Agni so that the tied knot can be undone and thrown in to the agni and make the marriage as null and invalid? We can invite the same friends and relatives whom we invited tor divorce, offer them food and return the gift that they presented, declaring on the same platform that the girl and boy now separate and any one who wish can approach them in the same mandap. The legal let it follow. When we pay in 1000's to lawyer why can't we pay the prohit few rupees? (If possible we invite the same prohit who conducted the marriage and the astrologers who said that the horoscope coincides and marriage can be conducted)

​

was posted at least some or few people who go for divorce will give a second taught. We believe Agni is supreme and if a couple united agni as witness they bind themselves.

If we ourselves neglect our own custom then how can we say others will respect our words?
The hair cutter asked me one about this and I have no answer. But said, the Brahmin girls prefer marriage with non brahmins and non brahmins marry the girls believing that their children will brought up with superior?! culture. (Now a days we see at least 100 ads saying Father N.B mother Brahmin, brought up in Brahmin culture etc ) But in reality the wards born to these couples prefer to go with the Fathers culture! and mother has no answer! In our area some 25 years back, an Iyer girl married a Muslim she went as Muslim and even to day her children even though they look as Brahmin takes Non Veg! Once I met all of them in the bank! and enquired about her. She replied life moves on!. But her children asked me who I am and I replied. They said their mother is a best cook in preparing non veg items which their aunt and Grand mother appreciate. The education part they said only average!

So if a Brahmin follows his own way of life he is respected, and if he prefers only money the receiver will praise before and laugh at the back! The foreigners prefers a marriage in Hindu style believing the marriage will last long! but our girls see the husband as money making machine, who should earn millions satisfy with the money alone. Hope there was a film in which Actress urvasi sells her husband for one crore? The days are there one day the girls will sell their husband for money or lend him! This is my opinion (after seeing the present day ads)

I get the gist of this post, but on so many level it is downright insensitive.

In our area some 25 years back, an Iyer girl married a Muslim she went as Muslim and even to day her children even though they look as Brahmin takes Non Veg

What is "look Brahmin" mean?
This post also assumes that brahmins are vegetarians, that is far from truth.

The foreigners prefers a marriage in Hindu style believing the marriage will last long! but our girls see the husband as money making machine, who should earn millions satisfy with the money alone. Hope there was a film in which Actress urvasi sells her husband for one crore? The days are there one day the girls will sell their husband for money or lend him!

This is very disparaging of Ladies. I suppose the age of the of writer is obvious.
Mr. Ramachandran,
This is an open forum, and we have Brahmins and non-Brahmins as members. Mr. Praveen has proclaimed that this site is for all religion, all nationality etc. So please moderate what you post.

 

[tbs]

Dear Sir,

This fact does not surprise me at all! Shall tell you why....

One of my cousin brothers, who was a senior doctor in military, got married to an orthodox Tambram girl.

When my mother visited them after a few years, she found a lot of NV stuff in the fridge on the very first day.

My cousin's wife (then a mother of two kids) requested my mother not to open the fridge and also not to enter

the kitchen! My mother knew the reason within a few minutes because the 'smell' of cooking was enough to show

that NV stuff is being prepared. My mom wondered how the orthodox brahmin could learn to prepare such items!
The reason she gave was that in their military canteen, NV stuff were much more cheaper than vegetables! :faint:

hi RR madam.
this is not correct...i served in military for 17 years...i was vegetarian thought out my life in military...i never had problem...

in fact many officers vegetarians.....but i know many tambram are familiar with non veg....many NB officers are vegetarians....

just info ...many jaat regiments are pure veg....vegetables are available plenty....its just excuse.....but liquor/non veg

are regular in military....again food with family quarters are personal choice.....this is only sappa kattu....சப்ப கட்டு...

once my commanding officer was TAMBRAM....nalla kudi magan with non veg priyar....another commanding officer was

sikh....non drinker/pure veg....so food is more personal....even one of our bramin officer do santyavandanam

daily in the military....

 

[renuka]

Hope there was a film in which Actress urvasi sells her husband for one crore? The days are there one day the girls will sell their husband for money or lend him! This is my opinion (after seeing the present day ads)

LOL! Do married men still have market value?

There used to be a reality show called Wife Swap where 2 housewives will exchange houses where they will stay with the new family and run the duty of a housewife in the new home(but no sex involved)

The show somehow made people realize how difficult it is to adjust to a new home and how much more difficult for a family to adapt to a new housewife.

At the end of the show the families will be begging to have back their original housewife.

So may be there can be a similar reality show where husbands can be sold!Ha Ha Ha.

It can be named :Kaun Banega CrorePATI (pun intended)....where one becomes a Crorepati by selling her PATI.

 

[Raji Ram]

1. this is not correct...

2...vegetables are available plenty....its just excuse.....

3. but liquor/non veg are regular in military....

Dear TBS Sir,

1. What I wrote about my cousin and his wife is 100% correct!

2. My mother knew that it was a lame excuse to justify preparing and eating NV stuff at home.

3. Very true. But we have pure veg eaters + tea-totallers in our family, who were military officers!