Laughter - The best medicine! - Page 4
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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by vaisu View Post
    She had become big because of her eating habits !
    Can you tell me about whom you are writing?
  2. #32
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    During a recent outing in New Orleans, a woman snuck off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.

    In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal
    ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

    "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will

    die a violent and horrible death this year."

    Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle,

    then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths
    to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met

    the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice,
    and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raji Ram View Post
    Thank you Narayan Sir!

    I read it recently and wanted to share, thinking that for some friends also, it might be new one!
    It is Pope not Einstein here!


    After getting all Pope John-Paul II's luggage loaded in the limo (and His Holiness doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the kerb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness" says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so that we can leave?"

    "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

    "I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing that he'd never gone to work that morning. "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

    Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105mph.

    "Please slow down, Your Holiness!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh my God, I'm gonna lose my licence," moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the patrolman approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back on his motorcycle and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatch. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo doing a hundred and five.

    "So bust him," said the Chief.
    "I think this guy's a big shot," said the cop.
    "All the more reason."
    "No, I mean a really big shot," said the cop.
    "Who've you got there, the Mayor?"
    "Bigger"
    "Governor?"
    "Bigger"
    "Well", said the Chief, "Who is it?"
    "I don't know", said the cop, "but he's got the Pope driving for him."

    Hope this raises a smile.


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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janaki Jambunathan View Post
    It is Pope not Einstein here!.........
    Hope this raises a smile.
    Sure, though I read this sometime back!
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  8. #35
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    If you don't believe the doctor ........

    Source: BabaMail.

    A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out

    his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

    "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."


    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might

    just be in a coma or something."
    The vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes

    later with a old dog. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front

    paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad

    eyes and shook his head.
    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he

    returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat

    sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
    The vet looked at the woman

    and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."


    He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's

    owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!?"
    The vet shrugged.

    "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the

    Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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  10. #36
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    How to make money!

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.


    The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression.

    I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the

    end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

    "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at

    5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."

    "After that," the old rich man continued, "I invested the $9.80 into a market stall so I could polish and display a lot

    more apples. I began making about $50 a month from then on."

    "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

    Source: Baba Mail.
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  12. #37
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    Once in life


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    The gentle man entered the exclusive club. It was raining out side. He saw an old club member sitting in the corner. He wanted to while away the time conversing with him.

    "Good evening Sir."
    "Hmm." Grunted the old man.
    "May I share the table with you sir."
    "Hmm. Ok." Said the old man

    He ordered for a bottle of lager and asked the old man " shall I order one for you sir !"
    "No, I had taken lager only once when I was young", said the old man.
    "Ok Sir, shall we play a game of rummy to pass the time" asked the youngster.
    "Oh no. I have touched cards only once in my life" said the old man.

    At that time an youngster came in and called the old man.
    "Father rain has stopped, shall we go home"
    The old man raised from his seat and introduced the youngster as his son.
    "Oh yes I could see Sir, he must be your only son" said the young man.

    Brahmanyan
    Bangalore.
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  14. #38
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    One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass

    by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one of the men:

    "Why are you eating the grass?"

    "We don't have money for food," the poor man replied.

    "Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.

    The man answered "But sir, I have a wife and two children!

    "Bring them along" replied the lawyer.

    The lawyer turned to the other man and said, "Come with us."

    "But sir, I have a wife and six children?" the second man answered.

    "Bring them as well!" replied the lawyer as he headed for his limo. They all climbed into the limo.

    Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

    The lawyer replied, "No problem. The grass at my house is almost a foot tall."

    Source: BabaMail
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  16. #39
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    In a car garage, where a famous heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his Mercedes, there was a loud mouthed mechanic who was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car. He saw the surgeon waiting and lured him into an argument.

    He asked the doc after straightening up and wiping his hands on a rag, "Look at this car i'm working on. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

    The surgeon very calmly leaned over and whispered to the loudmouth mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."


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  18. #40
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    Wow! What a shot!! (courtesy: babamail)

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