Is viriginity in india, different from virginity outside of it? I would imagine it not – it is the same physical concept re unruptured hymen for women and ‘god knows what’ for men.
I read somewhere, that the most popular plastic surgery operation in paris france, is the restoration of hymen, among the French arab women, that being a bow to that community’s expectations of an unruptured hymen and the public display of blood on the sheet, the next day, as a matter of honour, for both, the groom, and the bride. Quite different, from the majority of European French, who consider a romp in bed, a healthy exercise, and hormone driven, right from their teens onwards.
I think it is prudent, of both, the man and woman, to keep mum certain things, about their past lives, prior to marriage. There is no need for it, and one never knows, how the other would react. Let us say, that the man had several ‘conquests’ and boasts about it to his spouse, as a bragging point; not sure, if his spouse retorts that she too has had a conquest or two under her belt. Not sure, how many Indian males could handle that. this alone calls for discretion. No?
Sex education, is just that. a matter of hygiene and knowledge. That babies are not sprung from the birds and bees, or as I used to believe, till I learned better, that they sprung off the belly button of the mother. To me sex education, was in whispers, as a junior teen, the knowledge imparted by ‘knowing’ elders, ie guys a few years older than me. I am still amazed at their knowledge of female anatomy, 45 years ago, when sex education was bit a bit of dust in the future, and no literature of such kind ever existed.
All through the ages, atleast in india, atleast what the public preferred to believe, it has been the man, who is the romper, while our females are supposed to have been daughters of seetha. அச்சம் மடம் நாணம் are supposed to go hand in hand with கற்பு virgin brides, while, on the whole we as a community, defaulted the same for boys. where any infractions might have occurred, the matter was not brought up, and if at all alluded to, was vehemently denied by the boys’ parents. if you dont believe me, just look at all the claims in the tamil matrimony ads.
i always felt, that when someone mentions, that he/she possesses, a blend of eastern and western values, that he/she had a good sexual appetite and took precautions to prevent pregnancy – this being the western value. but also did it discretly and would not mention it to anyone – this being the eastern value. but then that is the usual அதிகபிரசங்கி in me, just to raise the BP of some of the guardians of community morality. (nod nod wink wink).
personally, as a child, i used to listen to the epics from my athai patti. i still remember her squirm, when i drilled a little too deeply about the antics of kunti and her delivering so many boys through different men. but then i was only 7 or 8, and the old lady, knowing a lot more about birds and bees than i did, i guess got exaspeated, and bawled at me to shut up and listen
and not ask questions
much to the amusement of few other grownups nearby.
