vrajagopalan57
Active member
While I have no comments over the association's activity, I think we are barking up the wrong tree with saying "there are no brahmin brides in the state" & "brahmin men unable to find girls for marriage".
What I have seen is Tamil Brahmin Bridegrooms and their family expect the girls to be docile, meek , devoted to husband/family, be dependent on the husband and be a child bearing machine - 2 kids in 2 to 3 years of marriage.
What they fail to understand is current generation of Tamil brahmin girls (irrespective of the sub-caste and location) are independent, well educated and modern - not just in attire but also in the thought process.
These Tamil brahmin men feel intimated by such women and thus begins the cycle of "unable to find a suitable girl for marriage".
Rather than understanding the current reality and the current generation's expectation, the parents are still wanting a homely, traditional wife for their son.
At the same time, most brahmin boys are like Ambi in Anniyan.
With the advent of technology and everything else, all girls want their better half to have some aspects of Remo - not just in attire but also in the thought process.
Until this problem is addressed, this problem of no girls for marriage will continue to exist.
Over 40,000 Tamil Brahmin bachelors could not find matches; to scout for brides in UP, Bihar
As more than 40,000 young Tamil Brahmin men are finding it difficult to find brides within the state, the Tamil Nadu based association for Brahmins has launched a special drive to look for suitable matches belonging to the same community in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar.www.deccanherald.com
सुप्रभातम्। नमस्सर्वेभ्यः।While I have no comments over the association's activity, I think we are barking up the wrong tree with saying "there are no brahmin brides in the state" & "brahmin men unable to find girls for marriage".
What I have seen is Tamil Brahmin Bridegrooms and their family expect the girls to be docile, meek , devoted to husband/family, be dependent on the husband and be a child bearing machine - 2 kids in 2 to 3 years of marriage.
What they fail to understand is current generation of Tamil brahmin girls (irrespective of the sub-caste and location) are independent, well educated and modern - not just in attire but also in the thought process.
These Tamil brahmin men feel intimated by such women and thus begins the cycle of "unable to find a suitable girl for marriage".
Rather than understanding the current reality and the current generation's expectation, the parents are still wanting a homely, traditional wife for their son.
At the same time, most brahmin boys are like Ambi in Anniyan.
With the advent of technology and everything else, all girls want their better half to have some aspects of Remo - not just in attire but also in the thought process.
Until this problem is addressed, this problem of no girls for marriage will continue to exist.
Over 40,000 Tamil Brahmin bachelors could not find matches; to scout for brides in UP, Bihar
As more than 40,000 young Tamil Brahmin men are finding it difficult to find brides within the state, the Tamil Nadu based association for Brahmins has launched a special drive to look for suitable matches belonging to the same community in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar.
I do agree *partly* the first five paragraphs spelled by Shri.Praveen. Since a decade plus, though I am a professional technocrat & a nuclear R&D Scientist, practicing professional vedic astrology and teaching+preaching over four years Sanskrit, Veda, vedanga, upanishad, etc with scientific and technological bias for an easy understanding through my groups. My opinion given below is primarily based on my experiences and personal interactions with mid to late twenty and early thirty (predominating age group) probable boys and girls and also their parents, more so the mothers. It's a fact that girls population has been reducing because of the preferred gender (even in the most educated families & this decade too, especially in *Tamilnadu*, Rajasthan, UP, Bihar, Jharkhand, Chattisgarh, Haryana, etc ) is boy. This preference was very high in late eighty and ninety. This led to higher rate of illegal female foeticide. Net result, today we have less girls then boys in certain states. At the same time, our socio-economical status (totally absurd), medically updated consciousness (meaningful) besides caste-creed-cultural (no comments) prejudices do not permit any parent to jump off the self created fences and get a groom or bride for their girl or boy. Pathetic situation. Coming to the point of likes and dislikes of youngsters, more than boy or girl, the parents (sorry to say mothers) are very choosy, whereas the girls and boys (even Brahmins) are mostly very broad in thinking and are practical. Yes, the girls invariably prefer groom to be smart (handsome, educated equally or more, earning more than them, dynamic and responsible/committed - obviously this are quite natural and nothing wrong. However, very few insist that they do not like to have parent in laws or sister in laws or brother in laws with them. But, alas! Girl's mother is very particular. They forget that they too have sons & daughters). On the other hand, these days boys are more interested in beauty & modernity in girls. They are not particular (in confidence they said) about caste & subcaste and even region. They lack openness with parents or I can say they do not like to disappoint or displease their rigid parents (mother more) through their opinions. Silently they digest. The girls these days are particular that they prefer to stay wherever their parents are there and want total financial freedom, especially for any needs of their parents. I feel, so for the girl is not asking her husband to spend for their parents, the groom should be happy. Regarding education compatibility, my experience is that the girls desire to marry an engineer or (of late more liking for scientists - may be Chandrayyan / Chandra effect in horoscope) or CAs, less doctors (doctor girl like doctor boy but of popular branch only), least for startup persons or business persons. Whereas, boys prefer IT working, day time working (note please) girls. Look, colour, height of bride are also not demanded by boys (boy's mother's preference is Lakhmi) these days (because girls are not available). It's not correct that the girls like to marry only yo-yo or Remo boys. Many girls from metros confided in person to me when I told them that they would have been in love with x, they confirmed and said they do not like to marry them just because they are yo-yos. They are good as friends to go around but not preferred as husband. Same with modern boys too. They do not want to yo girl as wife. What it means that the girls or boys do not want show-off, carefree, ....(you can understand) life partner. So, be assured that our marriage values are still sustaining with youngsters. Let's not misinterprete their liberal day to day life, projected outwardly for the sake of peers, who too are mostly having same good values. In my opinion, more as a professional research scientist then as a professional astrologer, let us prefer first to match mental compliance between girl & boy, followed by parents then think of astrology. As per different Dharma and neeti sastras too (that I preach and teach) there are twelve type of marriages permitted in a civilized society and all are equally revered. Astrologically too, these days, I find matching (out of 10) from 5-6 only, very rarely upto 7, and invariably many have one or the other doshas. Kuja, Rahu-Ketu or Kalasarpa doshas, girls/boys stars (ayilyam, pooradam, kettai, moolam, etc) are wrongly interpreted. Every practicing astrologer knows that howsoever he may be qualified or knowledgeable in astrofield, even if Lord Vishnu or Shiva or Brahma thinks they can not change the destiny of any human creation. It is fixed. Also, they know well that no astrologer can predict totally Brahma lipi for every individual. Also, I always tell my clients that unless proper time comes no one can marry and no one can marry someone's destined wife or husband. Predictions are just for increasing desparate persons self confidence. Not a overriding immediate solutions. Believe more on a supreme power then on human brain and interpretations. Life is not 1+1=2, married life equation is 1+1=1=3 later. Hopefully, everyone, especially, modern parents should understand better this spiritual Dharma for healthy progeny. It's a not a commercial bargain or stock investment or deal. Many more to say but I don't want to defy much with ..... Finally, I will conclude that "let our beloved Sons and daughter be married by 25-28 and 21-25 years respectively and enjoy the God blessed youth totally and beget the best healthy children at the earliest. Encourage those who can afford (financially and health wise) to have two children and discourage one child, because a brother or a sister is always needed in life for understanding what is sharing and caring. Our aims as elders should be to accept the development and give weoghtage to our educated children's opinions and selection, as per our social ethics and value humanity more than astrology, caste, subcaste, status, etc. Indeed, very difficult to execute but it is better to accept if such things becomes inevitable and swallow with a pinch of salt then vomitting out. Let's envisage for the growth and progress of humanity then increasing just prejudiced inhuman ideas. Let's not play game with our own flesh and blood. Pray for their welfare and support them max and get supported them more when (if) you need. God always gives what one deserves and no injustice is done by him. So think positivity in negativity (actually nothingbis negative in this world) and enjoy the short life available to everyone on this karma bhoomi. Sorry for my long reply with unsolicited opinions and suggestions. Old man, old thoughts but filled with love and affection for youngsters. सर्वेषां जनानां सर्वासां सर्वदा जयं भवतु! शुभं भूयात्। Jai Shri Ram. VR
