Scared as a Widow touched my mangalyam

[ramya Arumugam]

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Mamas/Maamis,
Kindly pour in your suggestions. I have been to a cousin sister's house to pay my condolences on her husband's agala maranam She is a young widow.During our conversation she touched my mangalyam chain as there was a little wear and tear in the chain and I felt very uncomfortable and scared after that event. Is there any parikaram or something that can be done if it s a dhosam?

 

[prasad1]

Mamas/Maamis,
Kindly pour in your suggestions. I have been to a cousin sister's house to pay my condolences on her husband's agala maranam She is a young widow.During our conversation she touched my mangalyam chain as there was a little wear and tear in the chain and I felt very uncomfortable and scared after that event. Is there any parikaram or something that can be done if it s a dhosam?

You should do some pariharm to your mind, it has very intentions of insulting other people. Why do you think that women became less than holy because her husband died? If you believe in such superstations, you need to purify your mind. That widow was human being before her husband's death, and she remains a human being after her husband's death.

You insulted that lady who seems very close to you. you are not a lady. You are ignorant and rude. cultivate some empathy and give up on superstations.

vidhi-hinam mantra-hinam yat kiñcad upapaditam
kirya-mantra-vihinam va tat sarvam kshantum arhasi

Whatever has happened without the proper chanting of the mantra, or without following the proper procedure, kindly forgive all that.

 

[Hari51]

Mamas/Maamis,
Kindly pour in your suggestions. I have been to a cousin sister's house to pay my condolences on her husband's agala maranam She is a young widow.During our conversation she touched my mangalyam chain as there was a little wear and tear in the chain and I felt very uncomfortable and scared after that event. Is there any parikaram or something that can be done if it s a dhosam?

Its her fare she became s widow. Don't attach much importance. If mangalyam chain is worn ask your husband to tie a msnjsl thread with mzngalyam and get the chain repaired. Don't do this on Friday auspicious days. Deerga sumangali bhava

 

[mangalam]

Dear Ramya
Are you worrying for your husband' life, just because a widow pavam touched your thali ? seriously ?
how would life be, if you can bump off men by getting widows to touch their wives maangalyams.
thought to share Swami Vivekananda's golden words, hope you get the context.

“But there is yet time to change our ways. Give up all those old discussions, old fights about things which are meaningless, which are nonsensical in their very nature. Think of the last six hundred or seven hundred years of degradation when grown-up men by hundreds have been discussing for years whether we should drink a glass of water with the right hand or the left, whether the hand should be washed three times or four times, whether we should gargle five or six times. What can you expect from men who pass their lives in discussing such momentous questions as these and writing most learned philosophies on them! There is a danger of our religion getting into the kitchen. We are neither Vedantists, most of us now, nor Pauranics, nor Tantrics. We are just "Don't-touchists". Our religion is in the kitchen. Our God is the cooking-pot, and our religion is, "Don't touch me, I am holy". If this goes on for another century, every one of us will be in a lunatic asylum. It is a sure sign of softening of the brain when the mind cannot grasp the higher problems of life; all originality is lost, the mind has lost all its strength, its activity, and its power of thought, and just tries to go round and round the smallest curve it can find.”​

― Swami Vivekananda, The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, Volume 3

 

[RSSARMA52]

These kind thinking should be removed from mind. Generally it says, say few people see "wooden statue of lord ganesh". The person see the quality of wood will say it is Chandan wood. The person who see the Ganesh carving will see lord Ganesh". It is the perception.
Just get rid of the thought and don't open this topic with anyone near or dear in the family or friends. Marriage is just an happening in life. It long last or not has no connection to the individual whether male or female. Secondly marriage is performed many ways, by ring, mangalsutra, written in paper, besides so many other kind of marriages in the times of rulers by Kings.

 

[pvguruvadhyar]

Mamas/Maamis,
Kindly pour in your suggestions. I have been to a cousin sister's house to pay my condolences on her husband's agala maranam She is a young widow.During our conversation she touched my mangalyam chain as there was a little wear and tear in the chain and I felt very uncomfortable and scared after that event. Is there any parikaram or something that can be done if it s a dhosam?

No issues be cool

 

[renuka]

Mamas/Maamis,
Kindly pour in your suggestions. I have been to a cousin sister's house to pay my condolences on her husband's agala maranam She is a young widow.During our conversation she touched my mangalyam chain as there was a little wear and tear in the chain and I felt very uncomfortable and scared after that event. Is there any parikaram or something that can be done if it s a dhosam?

Dear Ramya,
Dont worry.
Daily we humans touch a lot of things others touch.
The cash we handle is touched by almost every type of humans from poor to rich..widows..widowers..the disabled..normal abled etc.
We do not worry about touching cash do we?

So why do you have to worry about anyone touching your mangalyam just because she is a widow?

Each one of us have our own karma.
Our Karma doesnt change for the good or for the worse just because someone touched us.

I feel really bad actually to read your post because its sad to read how a widow is seen as so inauspicious when she too is human like anyone else.
But at the same time, I can understand your fear which is due to cultural conditioning.

Best wishes...spend sometime with your cousin.
She might need help just after losing her husband.
Pray for her well being too.

 

[hvgpal]

With such thought, you only will insult your relation with your cousin. There is nothing wrong. As some one else mentioned, you need parikaram for your mind and thought process. Do you know the person who made the mangalyam and what condition was he while made it . It is our belief, we consider pure. Pray for the departed soul and pray for purification of your thoughts.

 

[renuka]

We really need to start respecting all humans regardless of their marital status.

I recently attended some functions at a temple and each time only Sumangalis were given sumangali items by the donors.

I was thinking that Sumangalis have their husbands to buy sarees, bangles, sindoor, manjal etc..but what is done for widows?

Why cant we change some traditions and also include poor widows as receivers of donations in a temple?
Its the poor widows who need help and not the rich and middle class Sumangalis.

 

[prasad1]

We really need to start respecting all humans regardless of their marital status.

I recently attended some functions at a temple and each time only Sumangalis were given sumangali items by the donors.

I was thinking that Sumangalis have their husbands to buy sarees, bangles, sindoor, manjal etc..but what is done for widows?

Why cant we change some traditions and also include poor widows as receivers of donations in a temple?
Its the poor widows who need help and not the rich and middle class Sumangalis.

Great suggestion, but the giver is not giving without expectation. So some guruji or swamiji has to attach some benifit to the giver, then only it will happen.