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Retirement Communities

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Nacchinarkiniyan

Nacchinarkiniyan

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I have spent one month staying in a Retirement Community and also studying other communities nearby. I have been talking to people who are saying in these communities and also people who would like to stay in them.

This thread is about Retirement Communities, the people who stay there, the reasons for people to move into one and other related matters.

We had a detailed discussion about Retirement strategies a couple of years back.

http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/sociology/6593-fathers-sons-post-retirement-strategies.html

We have also been discussing Retirement Communities and also old Age homes in different threads.

The earlier perception that Old Age Homes and retirement Communities are bad is slowly changing. People are in the habit of deriding children for putting the parents in Old Age Homes.

Retirement Communities have become necessary for the following reasons.

These are the only places where the Husband and Wife are free from routine work. The Wife does not have to cook and the husband does not have to run around getting vegetables, grocery etc.

The Problem with staying with the children is that you are not free from these duties. The Mother in Law has to help in cooking and the father in law has to help in other duties. I do not think it was a pleasure for the Old Indians in New Jersey to take the grandchildren to the bus stop when it was snowing and the whole place was covered by snow.

Surprisingly what we noticed during our stay was that most of the people continue to cook their own food. Most of the Communities talk about fully furnished kitchen. In one of the communities they were telling us about getting provisions from the super market.

Why is it so?

1. The husbands woudld like the wives to cook food to their taste. Many wives seem to take pride in their husband not being satisfied by the food served in the cimmunity.

2. Though this may seem a move by the husband it could also be because of the wife.

Many wives believe that the Way to the Husband's heart is through his stomach. They take pride in telling every one that the husband loves their cooking.

Whatever may be the reason, continuing cooking is against the basic principle of the Retirement community.

Frankly the food served in the retirement community where we stayed was excellent. Better than Home Food.

For example they were serving Two/Three Chutnies, Milakai Podi and Sambar with Idli. Even with a Cook we did not have all these accompaniments at home.

In fact my wife was remarking that after staying in this community, we may find the food in our children's homes bland and without variety.


(will continue)

 
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Dear Sir,

Nice to note that you have found a suitable retirement resort and happily settled there. :)
 
dear sir,
I have read with interest your posts on life after retirement and tips for planning for it.
I see that you have decided to implement the idea of moving into a retirement community.
you might have a compelling reason to do so
best of luck to you.
In case you do feel a need for return to your present of style living instead of the retirement community,
I hope you will reverse the decision and return to normal city life.
It sounds nice to live with other senior citizens with needs of food and medical being taken care off
only after sometime ,the need to interact with people of all groups,segments of society hits one. the sheer feeling of being cut off from the world is OK for sometime
but IMHO not for the rest of your life
 
continuing my last post
I recently learnt about an old brahmin couple 80plus in coimbotore retirement commmunity with only daughter in US
one morning the old lady passed away suddenly in sleep. the man shattered has not been able to cope. though the only daughter came to india and has taken the man back to US temporarily,she wants her indian relatives to keep him which they are not ready.there appears to be a belief that married daughters have no responsibility to look after old parents as per hindu customs
such and similar things are happening all over india in many families.where there are no sons
itis another matter that sons also do not want parents with them.
but isolation in retirement communities is no solution
strong elder abuse laws and harsh implementation is a solution.
there are some indian couples being taken to courts for domestic child abuse in europe and US
a similar thing is require for senior citizens in india
 
Dear Krish Sir,

It depends on which retirement resort ( I like to call the 'home' this way) is sought. Some offer ownership villas and are excellent.

The couples shifting to such a place should check whether they will get a few like minded people in that place. We know one couple

who moved 'Vanaprastha', one of the first retirement resorts in Coimbatore, who are living happily ever since it commenced.
 
Retirement Communities and old Age homes come in different sizes and flavors. One chooses a retirement community as per their requirement. The requirements vary from person to person.

There are Villas, Cottages, and apartments of different sizes. The ownership Villas may be excellent for an active couple. But if one of them has to move around in a wheel chair Villas are not suitable. Studio Apartments make more sense here.

We talk about Independent living, semi assisted living and assisted living.

The requirements are different for these categories of people.

One has to evaluate one's requirement before choosing a retirement Community. One size does not suit all.

The retirement Communities we saw belonged to different categories. I will post about them later.

The main reason for people choosing a Retirement Community is because of Community Living. People who are feeling lonely and neglected in their old age feel happy in such communities.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

It depends on which retirement resort ( I like to call the 'home' this way) is sought. Some offer ownership villas and are excellent.

The couples shifting to such a place should check whether they will get a few like minded people in that place. We know one couple

who moved 'Vanaprastha', one of the first retirement resorts in Coimbatore, who are living happily ever since it commenced.
Click to expand...
it is not the facilities at the communities that is the real issue. .nor the availability of like minded people. It is the the segregation of senior citizen on the basis of age. also that most of these homes are far away from mainstream of life. senior citizens may be physically old . but most of them are mentally active and can contribute to society at large. it is a crime to condemn them to such communities due to some youngsters running of to some foreign land in search of elusive dollars.their passports should be revoked.
 
There are a number of misconceptions about retirement Communities.


I do not expect to remove these misconceptions.


Retirement Communities can be classified into three basic categorioes.


1. For the Active seniors who are not dependent on Assisted living. These are more like independent living. The common facilities like canteen, house keeping, maintenance and recreation are helpful in making life easier.


2. Part Assisted living - These are for Seniors who are partially dependent for assistance to carry on their day to day activities.


3. Assisted Living - For the seniors who are totally dependent on Assistance for carrying on their day to day activities.


These communities vary in the facilities provided. There are place which take care of people suffering from Alzheimer's disease, cancer etc. which require intensive and constant care. But most of them do not cater to people who require intensive and constant care.


Most of the communities we saw in Coimbatore combine Active and assisted living. But the nature and extent of assistance varies from place to place.


One should know the amount of assistance needed before choosing a community. The people in charge of these communities help you to take a decision.

These communities are being marketed aggressively. There are some precautions to be taken before taking a decision.
 
Dear Sir,

I am following this thread with interest! Thank you.

What I feel is that a person might shift from category 1 to category 2 or even to 3 in future. :sad:

That will be a real concern. Just a thought.
icon3.png
 
Dear Nacchi Sir,

Isn't it a scary feeling having no privacy?

Wont it better staying alone in one's own home if one is still in fairly good health?
 
renuka said:
Dear Nacchi Sir,


Isn't it a scary feeling having no privacy?


Wont it better staying alone in one's own home if one is still in fairly good health?
Click to expand...


There is plenty of privacy. In our two weeks stay we did not meet many of the residents. They were people who did not come to the common mess. They cooked their own food and kept to themselves. Some who did not cook had the food sent to their residence.

Here also we are staying in our own place. Either owned, leased or rented. It is like staying in a gated community. Only that you have a community mess and common facilities.

The problem with staying alone is that

1. You have to do all the purchases. Purchase of provision, vegetables etc.

2. Arrange for maintenance and repair of the house.

3. Even if you have servants to do all these, you have to manage the servants. It has become extremely difficult to get good and reliable servants. You get up in the morning wondering which servant is going to be on leave today.

Then you read about old people getting robbed/murdered by their own servants and a shiver goes down your spine.

4. Every one has become very busy. In an emergency, it is difficult to get help.

So moving to a retirement community is an ideal solution to all these problems. I will post about the people whom I met in these communities and the reasons for their moving.
 
Retirement Homes are just ok if one is willing to make a few sacrifices. They are:

1. Living away from all relatives and acquantances-not the close ones alone but also from old friends, the street corner vegetable vendor Annachchi, the paper boy who drops your favourite newspapers every morning without fail with clock work precision, the doctor friend who knows about your system better than you and remembers every detail of it too, the temple, the deity, the goshti there and the members- each one with something to talk about animatedly every day, the milk vendor, the provision store owner, the neighbours, old colleagues in profession/job, the two year old tiny tot from across the fence who calls you thatha with a toothless beautiful smile, every thing that is precious to my existence in my present residence.

2. Making new friends new everything at this late stage in life.

3. The smell of the earth, the taste of the water the scorching fire that is left by your favourite Alu Tikka from the roadside chat shop.

etc., etc.,

But if one has to really leave all this and go, it would be better to go to somewhere down south where cost of living is still low. There are villages where good houses are available with all conveniences. There are small towns with medical help at hand. These places are ideal for old couples. They can go settle down there and develop new friendships. Even a place like Trivandrum is ideal for such old age living. These options are better than going and living in a newly acquired cosmopolitan retirement community home with strangers as neighbours. So my advice to an intending retiree couple will be:

Go and buy a house in Trivandrum. There are good temples and a fairly large tb community living there. So there will be no cultural shock at the old age. Excellent medical facilities are available. Living is not very costly. There are a good number of temples and festivals. Malayalis are a friendly people. Food is no problem. You can engage a cook who will come to your kitchen every day and cook according to your taste and menu. Your children can reach you through the international airport in case of emergencies. Give it a try. Or you can even choose any village in Kerala. They are well connected by train or road. In fact the entire Kerala state is a huge village. Climate and water is good.
 
Dear Vaagmi Sir,

Though my grandparents have roots in Kerala, I hate the environment with mallus all around! You might have a special fancy to

that state because of reasons known to your forum friends but for me :nono: .

Coimbatore is a nice place where we can listen to 'respectful' Tamil and climate is far better than Sing. Chennai.

P.S: I don't like visiting temples in Kerala because of the topless, potbellied mAmAs spreading all over the temples! :shocked:
 
But the idea of retirees being segregated to a particular location seems scary to me.

We all stay in neighbourhoods that have people from all walks of life and all ages..that sounds more normal even though I dont really bother to get to know my neighbours but at least everyone is of a different age. I can see babies, kids, elderly etc.

That is the part about the retirement communities that I might not be too fond off..segregation on no firm logical grounds.

Cant it be like a normal neighbourhood..like here retirement homes are located in a normal neighbourhood and not segregated like a colony at least that makes you still feel normal.

If segregation is going to be the name of the game I rather stay in a cremation ground cos at least I know that the inmates arriving there are or were from every age range and I will join them some day.
 
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Raji Ram said:
Dear Vaagmi Sir,

Though my grandparents have roots in Kerala, I hate the environment with mallus all around! You might have a special fancy to

that state because of reasons known to your forum friends but for me :nono: .

Coimbatore is a nice place where we can listen to 'respectful' Tamil and climate is far better than Sing. Chennai.

P.S: I don't like visiting temples in Kerala because of the topless, potbellied mAmAs spreading all over the temples! :shocked:
Click to expand...

South Kerala is nice. Also, Kanyakumari Dist. is nice. From TVPuram towards south is nice.

The language is nice. Food is nice. Scenery is nice. (Body spray is needed). What is more, even the mallus there are nice too.
 
This is an interview with the first resident of Melur Meadows Retirement Village near Coimbatore, one of the communities visited by us. It was taken in 2010.

[video=youtube;DRgcn2mHxoU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRgcn2mHxoU[/video]
 
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what vaagmiji talks of as small sacrifices are not small
I do not buy his solutions-burying oneself deep south or settle in trivandrum
the whole idea of segregation of people on basis of age is repugnant to me .it is something like apartheid in africa.
why should senior citizens go for such things. logic that it is difficult to cook,buy provisions or managing servants or citing security appear trivial to me.it is always possible to add appropriate human resources with in built redundency to take care of these things.
there are always hazards related to living alone. but chances of getting knocked off are less than dying of disease or getting hurt in accidents. one does not plan for such things. probably one can barricade ones flat/home more with more steel[ I did that six weeks back when my place was broken into in my absence. }and continue with normal life .losses can always be written off as part of living. unless senior citizens develop a positive attitude to living and believe in relating to all [servants,neighbours,relatives,friends] and enjoy what life has to offer in present environment instead of hoping for happiness in isolated retirement communities,they will reach the stage of assisted living very fast due to isolation and mental problems
 
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This thread is about Retirement Communities, the people who stay there, the reasons for people to move into one and other related matters.

Retirement communities are being marketed aggressively now. Sankara TV seems to specialize in these ads. But no decision should be made based solely on these ads.

Some of the pitfalls are

1. They always talk about Villas. That is the selling word now. But there are Villas and Villas. A villa of 600 square feet? Defies imagination. Huge Villas of 1500 squar feet and above? For whom? A Retired couple?

Why do you need such a big house when there are only two members. Bigger houses are difficult to maintain. Even though the community provides for cleaning and house keeping, it still has to be done.

People have a tendency to go for such big Villas just to show off.

If we look at one of the oldest Retirement Community, you will see that the maximum area of accommodation offered is 500 square feet.

Dignity Lifestyle, Senior Citizen Life Enrichment Services at Neral

This is the one of the Best Retirement communities in India.

Do not get taken it by the poshness of the place. What is required is Good and comfortable accommodation with all facilities and not a place about which you can brag. When I wanted a bigger accommodation, I was advised to take a smaller one.

2. One of the communities advertises about nearness to a school and airport. Nearness to Airport means noise of planes taking off and landing. Again schools generate noise. What is the benefit of being near a school and Airport? None whatsoever. It only adds to noise pollution.

3. They talk about nearness to a city. One of the reasons for going to a retirement community is to get away from the dust and noise of the city. There is no benefit in being near a city.

Companies buy land wherever it is cheap and try to make the unsuitable locations a selling point. Making handicaps into advantages. Power of advertising. Do not be fooled.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Vaagmi Sir,

Though my grandparents have roots in Kerala, I hate the environment with mallus all around! You might have a special fancy to

that state because of reasons known to your forum friends but for me :nono: .

Coimbatore is a nice place where we can listen to 'respectful' Tamil and climate is far better than Sing. Chennai.

P.S: I don't like visiting temples in Kerala because of the topless, potbellied mAmAs spreading all over the temples! :shocked:
Click to expand...

Dear RR,

I can understand the sentiments. I have labeled it as malayali apartheid. I have come across this in many Tamils who are all otherwise normal persons. I am a Tamil who knew nothing about Kerala and Malayalis until my college days. I had the opportunity to spend a few years in Kerala as a part of my profession and I have fallen in love with that state. From a distance we have all sorts of negative images about people. Mallus are a very resourceful people. Though I am a Tamil, I would say with confidence that a malayali poet, a malayali intellectual, a malayali politician, a malayali common man is far far better in calibre than a Tamil poet, a Tamil intellectual, a Tamil politician, a Tamil common man. If you have ever lived in Kerala you would know what I mean. My view is not out of any special fancy. It is just the fact. Kerala is really God's own country and the people are God's own people. That is perhaps why Bharati said "chera nannaattilam penkaludane" forgetting all the penkal(did he think they were all rakshasis?) in Tamilnadu.

Yeah! while kerala temples are visited by only the pot bellied maamas, the Tamilnadu temples are all visited by muscular, lean and mean, tall and handsome maamas, wearing three piece suits. LOL.

And yes. the "ingo" suffix of respect is added by coimbatorians to every word without really meaning anything. Even when they say they will beat you they say "adichchiruvenungo". In Chennai it is "mavane konnuruven". Down south in my place no words are spoken.... you hear just sark sark and it will be blood all over. LOL.
 
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