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Present day parents of the girls

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ramacchandran
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ramacc, hemanth,

it is now more than 2 generations since we have been upwardly mobile, occupying boardrooms and govt secretary posts in new delhi. along with these jobs go a certain perks and i wish to say that a good percentage of tambrams have taken to alcohol and/or flesh with the zeal of the converted.

Dear Kunjuppu,

Did you intend any pun with the highlighted word;)

i also wish to say that almost all of these have been brought up with standard tambram values of those days ie poojais and punaskarams, which these next generation had no qualms to abandon, or exist side by side with their beer swigging chicken tikka palates.

I think it is the fruitlessness of the hypocrisy practiced assiduously by a few generations of tabras now — claiming to be orthodox but nevertheless shamelessly compromising with much that is western and unbrahmanic for a more luxurious life for themselves—and the consequent disgust, which impels many people to go the whole hog in westernization/modernity.

personally, i wish to treat these as the private business of these guys & girls, and it is nobody's business but theirs. perhaps they infringe on the social arena, when they publicly announce in matrimonial ads about their liberal attitudes, causing hot burn to folks like ramacc or hemanth.

The friction arises mostly when the modernized Tabras find themselves in the midst of a group of the pseudo-orthodox Brahmans, for example in some family or religious function, that the former start showing a condescending attitude. This, of course, is my observation in a few occasions.

hopefully there are sufficient brides, grooms to satisfy the needs of the orthodox. like oil and water, these two better not mix.

in the process, we have further fragmented our community, which appears to go now into ever numerous sub division, till we have a sub sub sub caste for each individual tambram. :)

Really, despite whatever a few of us write here, the world outside is different IMO. Youngsters know their aim in life and how to shape themselves to achieve it. They change their attitudes accordingly as seems to them the most expedient and logical. Elders' opinion/likes/dislikes do not rank very high in such a process, nowadays. Hence further segregation as you fear, is not a distinct possibility, IMO.
 
nacchi,

i did not intend to be punny. (again no pun meant here). but thank you for pointing out the possibilities :)
 
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,

You have said "I was very hurt by nonsensical statements to the effect that I dont have back up for my statements."


First of all, as I told you, it is NOT NONSENSICAL for our forum members to expect some back up for your statements - in fact they have a right to expect it in discussions. If you feel hurt by that expectation, please do not take part in discussions where free wheeling discussions are allowed.

Now take your one citation and opinions in your post:

1. Citation - Chandogya Upanishad: While what you cited is appropriate, I can question the saying there, because today, medicine does recommend one to two drinks per day for men, that promotes good health. So your sweeping statement that any alcohol consumption is bad is not correct. In fact in many western countries such as France, wine is looked upon as food and children are introduced at a very young age to handle it responsibly. As a result, it is rare to see drunkards in France, where as in countries where alcohol consumption is not part of the culture, drunkenness abound.

2. Opinions:
1)"In general families and societies with drinking have higher prevalence of lust, extra marital relations." This may or may not be correct. But this is the type of statement that would be challenged, because no back up is provided. I suspect you can not prove your statement.

2)"The statement to the effect that arabic might have been influenced by India's ideas is just an inference because arabians themselves have acknowledged India's noble influence on them. It may or may not pertain to a specific habit that is anybody's guess." - Now any inference needs a foundation. So what is the foundation you have to infer that Mohammed banned alcohol consumption based on 'Indian' model? From what I understand not ALL Indians during Mohammed's time were tee totalers and even if they were, why should he have conveniently adopted this as against vegetarianism as well? Moreover during Mohammed's time, Indians were considered by idolaters by him and his followers and so it is fairly unlikely they would have borrowed anything from the Hindus. This just does not make sense to me.

To me the issue with alcohol is not alcohol consumption - it is about irresponsible consumption. Many in India, I have noticed, consume alcohol to get high as opposed to enjoying it for the taste within limits. If we are arguing about alcohol's effect on a person, how about the contribution of sugar and polished white rice on the Tam Brahm population, which are responsible for the high rate of type 2 diabetes in our society?

Please don't be hurt. But I do not think your arguments are valid.

Regards,
KRS
 
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Now take your one citation and opinions in your post:

1. Citation - Chandogya Upanishad: While what you cited is appropriate, I can question the saying there, because today, medicine does recommend one to two drinks per day for men, that promotes good health. So your sweeping statement that any alcohol consumption is bad is not correct. In fact in many western countries such as France, wine is looked upon as food and children are introduced at a very young age to handle it responsibly. As a result, it is rare to see drunkards in France, where as in countries where alcohol consumption is not part of the culture, drunkenness abound.
I only said chandogya upanishad says so. Whether people feel it is right or wrong they may absolutely use their own inclinations. So the fact that chandogya upanishad says so is backed up. If people want to accept what is said about relation between mind and food in our scriptures and re-emphasized by shankaracharya they may choose do so. If they want to be lead by western science they can choose to do so. I dont see what is the need for mentioning this as a statement I have not backed up.

n general families and societies with drinking have higher prevalence of lust, extra marital relations." This may or may not be correct. But this is the type of statement that would be challenged, because no back up is provided. I suspect you can not prove your statement.
It could be challenged , but at the same time it is backed by one powerful fact though it may not be advertised in science journals that is "apart from many islamic countries(may not be all) and south asian countries where there is significant low consumption of alcohol, to the extent that a major percentage of women dont consume alcohol, we all can naturally see lower extramarital affairs.while common observation may indicate this to be so, we can also infer this from the fact that if this were not the case divorce rate would have been much higher. The fact that divorce rates is significantly less than what is there in western society. Further atleast in UK.I have seen a report to the effect that drinking has significantly increased among women in the last few decades. The statistics on divorces can be checked up through reports available in google. There may be a hundred reasons for divorce not happening, but chastity(atleast among one partner) is arguably one of the most important factors and cannot be ignored"

This is a case of inference it can be contradicted but cannot be thrown away and ignored. If people choose to accept this fine else if you choose to ignore this, people can go ahead and believe otherwise. It is not unnatural to have contradictory inferences in the field of sociology even when the observation and source of data is the same. Take for instance the compulsive arguments on whether indus script is a written language or not.Witzel of harvard concluded from the same piece of materials that Indus script indicates that people of that region were illiterate. Iravatham mahadevan published a subsequent response to disprove this former view supported by some computer scientists in India. But case remains inconclusive.

he statement to the effect that arabic might have been influenced by India's ideas is just an inference because arabians themselves have acknowledged India's noble influence on them. It may or may not pertain to a specific habit that is anybody's guess." - Now any inference needs a foundation. So what is the foundation you have to infer that Mohammed banned alcohol consumption based on 'Indian' model? From what I understand not ALL Indians during Mohammed's time were tee totalers and even if they were, why should he have conveniently adopted this as against vegetarianism as well? Moreover during Mohammed's time, Indians were considered by idolaters by him and his followers and so it is fairly unlikely they would have borrowed anything from the Hindus. This just does not make sense to me.
Either you have not read my note towards the end, how my inference was made or you have chosen to ignore my observation as of no consequence. I clearly mentioned how my inference was made and that . there was nothing which I had to indicate that Indians influenced the arabs specifically in the sphere of drinking. It was purely my view based on the fact that arabians have acknowledged Indians for having civilized them.

Please refer to P..N Oak's publication - In his words "The text of the crucial Vikramaditya inscription, found inscribed on a gold dish hung inside the Kaaba shrine in Mecca, is found recorded on page 315 of a volume known as ‘Sayar-ul-Okul’ treasured in the Makhtab-e-Sultania library in Istanbul, Turkey. Rendered in free English the inscription says:

"Fortunate are those who were born (and lived) during king Vikram’s reign. He was a noble, generous
dutiful ruler, devoted to the welfare of his subjects. But at that time we Arabs, oblivious of God, were lost
in sensual pleasures. Plotting and torture were rampant. The darkness of ignorance had enveloped our
country. Like the lamb struggling for her life in the cruel paws of a wolf we Arabs were caught up in
ignorance. The entire country was enveloped in a darkness so intense as on a new moon night. But the
present dawn and pleasant sunshine of education is the result of the favour of the noble king
Vikramaditya whose benevolent supervision did not lose sight of us- foreigners as we were. He spread his
sacred religion amongst us and sent scholars whose brilliance shone like that of the sun from his country
to ours. These scholars and preceptors through whose benevolence we were once again made cognisant of
the presence of God, introduced to His sacred existence and put on the road of Truth, had come to our
country to preach their religion and impart education at king Vikramaditya’s behest."

This piece of information above can be contradicted , even the view of noted historians can be contradicted, but it is not a source of information , that has come from a layman. It has come from a well respected writer and scholar, even though he is considered controversial. For that matter even Michael Witzel is considered controversial as far as his very knowledge in Sanskrit is considered. These controversies cannot distract us from the fact that both people are serious scholars. My inferences on drinking were purely speculation based on Arabs having learnt good practices from Indians and I have indicated much earlier that there is nothing specific to the activity of drinking, for which I have proof of India's influence.

I dont expect my views to be accepted by all, nor do I think they should be accepted without questioning. It is such loose statements that- I have no basis(no valid source information) at all for inferences I make is not correct.

I have already said why I dont consider teetotallers as necessarily better persons than drinkers. Drinking for the purposes of intoxication and enjoyment is not expected of brahmins who need to inspire others in good conduct.

However even human law does not give this much leverage to people. However extraordinary a driver may be, if he breaks the speed limit set by the law, the law mercilessly punishes the individual. There is no excuse that this extraordinary driver is less capable of accidents than a person who sticks within speed limits. In certain countries even a slight indication of drinking, caused by even the mildest of alcoholic beverages can invite punishment. People in such countries absolutely stay away from drinking if they are about to drive, I know westerners who do that.In certain cases unless there is an emergency, you are absolutely prohibited from certain simple things like accidentally tresspassing in a harmless area within the millitary zone.

We cant go back to vedic times, nor can we really prove or disprove how people lived during vedic times. But we need to be conscious of our conduct for the sake of the world and to set an example and this is sufficiently backed up by a verse in bhagwat gita which I can quote if needed.It does not pertain specifically to drinking but if we read the message it implies that it needs to be applied in all spheres of conduct, and abstinence from drinking is one of the easiest things in which we can apply this message. Even Bhakti Vedanta Srila Prabhupada was against drinking. In Srimad bhagwatam it is mentioned that at the cross roads of kali yuga, parikshit met kali purusha and gave him permission to stay in different places which included the places where intoxicants are served. You can interpret this as a symbolic message or you can interpret it literally. Either way the message is clear.

Our elders have shown the right way of living in atleast certain matters. I am sure every tabra here has come from teetotaller families even if it was as way back as 200 years earlier and even if it may be that there were a few exceptions in many families. Let us concentrate on reforming the right things , let us not throw away the good things we have inherited. Speak about widow remarriage, speak about sensible intercaste marriages, even speak of remarriage for innocent divorcees, these are really things to be thought of , which may bring good to the society if done in the right way.

If we really throw these simple to follow ideal rules , that have come from our ancestors, having moved so far away from the times of vedic rishis, we really dont need sanathana dharma. It then really does not matter then if we call ourselves as tamil christian brahmins or any other name you want to give to ourselves. Without the rules of sanathana dharma any religion is good as another and for the true seeker in that religion it can bestow moksham.

As our saints have declared that every religion contains the seed within itself to give moksham. I know ramakrishna preached this message. And I am aware of more orthodox saints who have preached the same.But if certain rules are followed , many people will be inspired to look for the right things in life.

Rules are not an end in themselves they are the means and the launching pad for more progress in life, true progress away from material bondage. Let us look at Rules from that perspective. Irrelevant arguments that "medicines contain alcohol, so it is okay to have alcohol even if there is no need and even if it may be for purely entertaining the vasanas of the mind." dont really help the society in staying in a path of rules that it can benefit from.

Sanathana dharma is surviving on one leg, let us not cut her last leg also little by little, by "that logic" which is likely to only delude our own selves .
 
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Recently a dinner was hosted by a popular company in a star hotel, attended by many. To improve and discuss about the future of the company and attended by many. Here the friends accompanied with their spouses were offered pick up and drop at the door step by the organizer. I also aware of this meeting as one of my journalist friend was invited to attend for a coverage. He took many photos of that event, and when he was editing I visited him. I saw all the photos oh! but I skipped the comment. When contact a man who is a son of my friend a business man he said "Uncle. don't live in 20th century the present generation wants fast moments. It is rash driving. If we stick on I will be crushed between the racers, and loose my share. If you say I know him and Them, doesn't make any difference. They will also join us to take their share! they won't stop us. What my father wants is this I must safe guard the business he started and he advised me that I must retain my standard. If I fail, I will stand in a bus and won't travel a BMW." Yes I am looking for a groom for my sister, who should be rich and better if he is at least 10 percent above us., so that we can make a collaboration. The marriage is not only for the couple but it should be tonic for our business too." Then I thought Ok! these people will put a trade mark for the holy rituals and will not mind selling anything to any one!.
To add my thoughts, I wish to quote one more here. I am seeing profile of few grooms too who put their salaries are between Rs85,000 to 200,000 P.M. which are not taken by the so called bride community. What is the reason for this?
 
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,
My response in 'blue' below:
I only said chandogya upanishad says so. Whether people feel it is right or wrong they may absolutely use their own inclinations. So the fact that chandogya upanishad says so is backed up. If people want to accept what is said about relation between mind and food in our scriptures and re-emphasized by shankaracharya they may choose do so. If they want to be lead by western science they can choose to do so. I dont see what is the need for mentioning this as a statement I have not backed up.
Yes, but you cited the Upanishad to support YOUR OPINION that any alcohol consumption is bad for health - which is not supported by science. Maha Periaval may have said that alcohol consumption is bad for various, but I suspect he did not say any intaking of alcohol is bad for heath. The argument here is not whether the Upanishad is wrong. It is about your sweeping statement and citing the Upanishad for it's support.

It could be challenged , but at the same time it is backed by one powerful fact though it may not be advertised in science journals that is "apart from many islamic countries(may not be all) and south asian countries where there is significant low consumption of alcohol, to the extent that a major percentage of women dont consume alcohol, we all can naturally see lower extramarital affairs.while common observation may indicate this to be so, we can also infer this from the fact that if this were not the case divorce rate would have been much higher. The fact that divorce rates is significantly less than what is there in western society. Further atleast in UK.I have seen a report to the effect that drinking has significantly increased among women in the last few decades. The statistics on divorces can be checked up through reports available in google. There may be a hundred reasons for divorce not happening, but chastity(atleast among one partner) is arguably one of the most important factors and cannot be ignored"
Again you are confusing the effects of many variables such as culture, law etc and picking up on just one variable, namely alcohol consumption as the reason. Again this is your opinion drawn from thin air, because you are looking to support your opinion. Show me research and data that links extra marital affairs and alcohol. If there is no data, just say this is your opinion, not backed up by any data. What is wrong in saying that?

This is a case of inference it can be contradicted but cannot be thrown away and ignored. If people choose to accept this fine else if you choose to ignore this, people can go ahead and believe otherwise. It is not unnatural to have contradictory inferences in the field of sociology even when the observation and source of data is the same. Take for instance the compulsive arguments on whether indus script is a written language or not.Witzel of harvard concluded from the same piece of materials that Indus script indicates that people of that region were illiterate. Iravatham mahadevan published a subsequent response to disprove this former view supported by some computer scientists in India. But case remains inconclusive.
Again, you are confusing your opinions without any foundation to those with foundation even though contradictory. The above thesis are academic and will be resolved eventually with evidence. Yours is an opinion drawn from thin air.

Either you have not read my note towards the end, how my inference was made or you have chosen to ignore my observation as of no consequence. I clearly mentioned how my inference was made and that . there was nothing which I had to indicate that Indians influenced the arabs specifically in the sphere of drinking. It was purely my view based on the fact that arabians have acknowledged Indians for having civilized them.
Of course I saw that. But, if you can not connect Islam's abstinence to the Hindus, what is the relevance of this 'inference'. Again, this is your opinion. Your 'inference' is almost like saying, because 'Red Indians' have 'Indians' in their identity, they must be influenced by the East Indians!

Please refer to P..N Oak's publication - In his words "The text of the crucial Vikramaditya inscription, found inscribed on a gold dish hung inside the Kaaba shrine in Mecca, is found recorded on page 315 of a volume known as ‘Sayar-ul-Okul’ treasured in the Makhtab-e-Sultania library in Istanbul, Turkey. Rendered in free English the inscription says:

"Fortunate are those who were born (and lived) during king Vikram’s reign. He was a noble, generous
dutiful ruler, devoted to the welfare of his subjects. But at that time we Arabs, oblivious of God, were lost
in sensual pleasures. Plotting and torture were rampant. The darkness of ignorance had enveloped our
country. Like the lamb struggling for her life in the cruel paws of a wolf we Arabs were caught up in
ignorance. The entire country was enveloped in a darkness so intense as on a new moon night. But the
present dawn and pleasant sunshine of education is the result of the favour of the noble king
Vikramaditya whose benevolent supervision did not lose sight of us- foreigners as we were. He spread his
sacred religion amongst us and sent scholars whose brilliance shone like that of the sun from his country
to ours. These scholars and preceptors through whose benevolence we were once again made cognisant of
the presence of God, introduced to His sacred existence and put on the road of Truth, had come to our
country to preach their religion and impart education at king Vikramaditya’s behest."
I never questioned your assertion that the Arabs were influenced by India. It is a well known fact that trade was there between them from ancient times. My only issue is the jump you make from that and concluding that Islam's rule against alcohol was because of that influence.

This piece of information above can be contradicted , even the view of noted historians can be contradicted, but it is not a source of information , that has come from a layman. It has come from a well respected writer and scholar, even though he is considered controversial. For that matter even Michael Witzel is considered controversial as far as his very knowledge in Sanskrit is considered. These controversies cannot distract us from the fact that both people are serious scholars. My inferences on drinking were purely speculation based on Arabs having learnt good practices from Indians and I have indicated much earlier that there is nothing specific to the activity of drinking, for which I have proof of India's influence.
I did not want to say anything about Sri P.N.Oak. But sir, while he may have been a scholar, his peers did not accept him as one.

I dont expect my views to be accepted by all, nor do I think they should be accepted without questioning. It is such loose statements that- I have no basis(no valid source information) at all for inferences I make is not correct.
Again, why is it not correct? The issue here is not whether your opinions are not valid. The issue is your insistence on saying that they are 'inferred' from some back up fact, which they are not. If you want to back up your inferences, do them with pertinent material.

I have already said why I dont consider teetotallers as necessarily better persons than drinkers. Drinking for the purposes of intoxication and enjoyment is not expected of brahmins who need to inspire others in good conduct.
Who are these Brahmins? As you know all Varna Dharma is dead.What we as Brahmins follow today is not Brahmin Dharma. Enjoying a drink without getting intoxicated or getting intoxicated for that matter is a personal choice, like diet.

However even human law does not give this much leverage to people. However extraordinary a driver may be, if he breaks the speed limit set by the law, the law mercilessly punishes the individual. There is no excuse that this extraordinary driver is less capable of accidents than a person who sticks within speed limits. In certain countries even a slight indication of drinking, caused by even the mildest of alcoholic beverages can invite punishment. People in such countries absolutely stay away from drinking if they are about to drive, I know westerners who do that.In certain cases unless there is an emergency, you are absolutely prohibited from certain simple things like accidentally tresspassing in a harmless area within the millitary zone.
Again, unsound analogy. If there is a law, of course, every one should abide by it. From what I understand, in majority of countries around the world, drinking by oneself and not causing harm to others is not a crime.

We cant go back to vedic times, nor can we really prove or disprove how people lived during vedic times. But we need to be conscious of our conduct for the sake of the world and to set an example and this is sufficiently backed up by a verse in bhagwat gita which I can quote if needed.It does not pertain specifically to drinking but if we read the message it implies that it needs to be applied in all spheres of conduct, and abstinence from drinking is one of the easiest things in which we can apply this message. Even Bhakti Vedanta Srila Prabhupada was against drinking. In Srimad bhagwatam it is mentioned that at the cross roads of kali yuga, parikshit met kali purusha and gave him permission to stay in different places which included the places where intoxicants are served. You can interpret this as a symbolic message or you can interpret it literally. Either way the message is clear.
No, it is not clear. I propose that this viewing of all drinking as prohibited is not correct. On one hand you say, it is not a moral issue, but then, you bring all sorts of caste related factors here. If you are so affected by this, why not work towards asking India, to begin with to ban alcohol?
Our elders have shown the right way of living in atleast certain matters. I am sure every tabra here has come from teetotaller families even if it was as way back as 200 years earlier and even if it may be that there were a few exceptions in many families. Let us concentrate on reforming the right things , let us not throw away the good things we have inherited. Speak about widow remarriage, speak about sensible intercaste marriages, even speak of remarriage for innocent divorcees, these are really things to be thought of , which may bring good to the society if done in the right way.
My contention is that for the sake of tradition you think that abstinence is good. What I am saying is that it is an individual choice, like diet. Just because one is born in to a Tambra family, at these times when everything has changed and changing in our culture, this is the last thing we need to worry about as a tribe.

If we really throw these simple to follow ideal rules , that have come from our ancestors, having moved so far away from the times of vedic rishis, we really dont need sanathana dharma. It then really does not matter then if we call ourselves as tamil christian brahmins or any other name you want to give to ourselves. Without the rules of sanathana dharma any religion is good as another and for the true seeker in that religion it can bestow moksham.
Just because you want or I want, no one can stop the evolution of a religion. Obviously the Sanatana Dharma you speak of has not been static. Religion is for people, not the other way around. If a religion does not change with times, it will surely die. I think Hinduism will live long exactly because of its adaptability.

As our saints have declared that every religion contains the seed within itself to give moksham. I know ramakrishna preached this message. And I am aware of more orthodox saints who have preached the same.But if certain rules are followed , many people will be inspired to look for the right things in life.
This is a highly questionable inference.

Rules are not an end in themselves they are the means and the launching pad for more progress in life, true progress away from material bondage. Let us look at Rules from that perspective. Irrelevant arguments that "medicines contain alcohol, so it is okay to have alcohol even if there is no need and even if it may be for purely entertaining the vasanas of the mind." dont really help the society in staying in a path of rules that it can benefit from.
What society you are talking about? The Indian society or the caste society?

Sanathana dharma is surviving on one leg, let us not cut her last leg also little by little, by "that logic" which is likely to only delude our own selves .
I totally reject your thesis that Hinduism is on her last legs. What you see as a decline, I see as a transformation/rejuvenation. I think this blind faith in all of what our forefathers said and did without applying logic of today will surely cut off all the legs underneath from it.

Regards,
KRS
 
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,
My response in 'blue' below:

I totally reject your thesis that Hinduism is on her last legs. What you see as a decline, I see as a transformation/rejuvenation. I think this blind faith in all of what our forefathers said and did without applying logic of today will surely cut off all the legs underneath from it.

Regards,
KRS
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,
My response in 'blue' below:

I totally reject your thesis that Hinduism is on her last legs. What you see as a decline, I see as a transformation/rejuvenation. I think this blind faith in all of what our forefathers said and did without applying logic of today will surely cut off all the legs underneath from it.

Regards,
KRS

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your comments. Just as my perspective is not acceptable to your logic, the way you approach the same subject I believe is the reason for our differences and your logic remains equally unacceptable to me.

I have never argued about health aspects of alcohol, in case , you think I have done that somewhere it is surely a case of miswordings or interpretation. If you are willing to specify the specific statement on health related issue of alcohol, I have no regrets in modifying that statement, because I am least interested in the health aspects of alochol, just as I am least interested in the health aspects of Cod Liver Oil or some potential future findings on human embryos as a good food. What is wrong is wrong regardless of its health benefits.

Again you are confusing the effects of many variables such as culture, law etc and picking up on just one variable, namely alcohol consumption as the reason. Again this is your opinion drawn from thin air, because you are looking to support your opinion. Show me research and data that links extra marital affairs and alcohol. If there is no data, just say this is your opinion, not backed up by any data. What is wrong in saying that?
I think you are justified to have an opinion that suits you. I see that there are two things happening between the two types of culture. The two facts I have relied upon is this-
Fact 1- In the culture called X(with lot of drinkers) there is an extremely high percentage of drinkers and there is an increasing trend of women accepting this habit in this culture and to the worse.
Young women fuel rise in binge drinking - Telegraph
On the other hand in India number of people who drink is much lesser mostly because of women. This is backed up by this India: Alcohol in a Changing Women's Culture | EarthTrends

Fact 2- Divorce rates are lower in India than in countries where drinking is common. This is already a well known statistic . I can give citation but I am not giving it because I consider it trivial information. But if you dont want to accept it then I will send you a link for that. But divorce rate is significantly contributed by extra marital affairs . And the fact that our unruly men dont divorce our women, indicates that women are atleast more chaste. This not only supports our observation but this inference is also logical unless someone wants to indulge in "Vidhanda vadham".

Now there are people who tend to see relationship between these two facts and there are people who reject the possibility of relationship between these facts. There must be a basis for looking for relationship between the two facts . Let me give you a few more facts

a) Alcohol is considered a disinhibitor by many scholars. I will come to its definition. But I will give a valid source. Refer to the Book "Drugs and Society" by Glen R Hanson, Peter J Venturelli and Annette. They are all professors in acceptable american universities . They say "Alcohol is a disinhibitor which refers to depression of cerebral cortex functions. When this occurs, it results in a suspension of rational or thoughtful constraints on implusive behavior ". I wont be surprised that there may be contradictory research or it may even be possible that the authors themselves have come up with certain other facts that might promote alcohol, I dont know and I have not read the book in its entitirity. But the fact remains that there is research which shows alcohol as a disinhibitor. Some people drink less but escape the margins of grave errors, but they being a minority should set an example for moderate and heavy drinkers by abstaining. Moderate drinkers are not light drinkers. So lack of restraint in behavior may lead to people performing actions against their restraint due to culture. Both Christianity and Hinduism (from a contemporary practice not referring to some 5000 year old story) condemn extramarital sex. A rational person is unlikely to exhibit that behavior but we have seen alcohol is a dis-inhibitor. An example can be quoted here. A man and a woman know each other, they are married to different people and otherwise happy. They tend to also feel attracted to the looks and body appeal of each other. Their morality says no-" We will not get any closer, this will be a betrayal". On a good evening after a drink, they are in a very elated mood. The weather is good and situation is friendly. The lady who is normally more restrained than the man tells him, I am attracted to you. Then the inevitable pull of behavior happens. Why ?, alcohol is a disinhibitor. This may not apply to highly advanced souls in the world but such people are few and far between.

b) Alcohol in some studies atleast has seen increasing sex behavior. I think one citation is sufficient to illustrate the point . Refer to "College students' high-risk sexual behavior following alcohol consumption. Anderson, Peter B.; Mathieu, Debbie A." It is mentioned "Assessed the relationship of alcohol consumption as a disinhibitor to high-risk sexual behavior. Results are based on survey data from 1,902 students attending 12 colleges. Sexual behaviors occurring after people had "let themselves drink more than normal in order to make it easier for them to have sex with someone" were assessed. At least once in the past year, 33.2% of the men and 17.4% of the women had met this criterion." While more than normal is a statement indicating an immediate adverse action, we know that there is 33% of men who exhibit such behavior and 17.4 % women. In India since very small percentage of women are drinkers 17% is a significant increase in loose sexual behavior.

The above two facts clearly indicate that alcohol is not only a disinhibitor it also shows that there is an effect on the restraint one shows towards having sex. KRS will argue that he is only against heavy drinking but I am clear that it is light drinkers who promote their less enlightened brothers to take up to alcohol, and instead of asking me to ask Government of India to ban alcohol, he should instead address enlightened drinkers to stay away from alcohol , so that their otherwise attractive behavior is copied by those who are unfortunately not so determined and who tend to look upto them. Finally when the englightened and the sucessful businessman show restraint and advocate restrain, the government can be purchased to ban it and therby saving the lives of hundreds of thousands. I am actively doing my bit towards alcohol elimination by abstaining and I know that my behavior has strongly influenced a youngster who is now living for sometime in USA , the land which has converted many teetotallers. Vijay Mallya may have been a light drinker, I dont know his personal charitram but he has ruined the lives of many families.
This applies to both men and women. If women in India take up to drinking signficant number of them will move towards unrestrained drinking or more than normal drinking. Even 10% is significant enough. Already extramarital sex is curtailed in India, due to the fact that potential converts to moderate and higher alcohol habits abstain. But I will not play a percentage game here. If one person is saved, because of abstinence being a common practice, then that is the greatest gift society can give them.

Because extramarital sex is not as high in India as it should have been, if we had been a drinking nation, we can conclude that societies with alcohol have higher rate of extramarital affairs( considering the fact that all humans basically think alike irrespective of their race. It is only their cultural groundings and habits which tend to make them move in different directions). Think about this statement carefully .

You can continue to call me illogical, but my conscience is clear, on where I stand , and why I stand where I stand, and that there is research to answer my questions. I will choose to propagate these ideas, and will send more such links to anyone who is interested to know on the different ill effects of alcohol.


I will reply to your other replies later.

Note as moderator if you feel these posts are a diversion from the topic of this thread, please feel free to shift to a new thread.
 
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... this inference is also logical unless someone wants to indulge in "Vidhanda vadham".

Dear Shri pviyer, initially you argued drinking and eating some prohibited foods will affect one's mind in ways we may not fully understand; such behavior is detrimental to spiritual progress, and therefore must be avoided. I was quite glad to accept this line of argument since I think what is called "spirituality" is all baloney, and therefore we can continue on our journey on parallel paths, one believing in spirituality, and one denying spirituality altogether, never meeting.

But, in this post, you have expressed some claims, citing some studies, that drinking encourages extra-marital sexual activity, which in turn results in higher divorce rate. These conclusions are secular in nature and therefore, here we are, crossing paths, and I venture to express my opinion.

First a comment about statistical inference. Many here would have heard of the adage, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." As one who teaches statistics I can say this adage is spot on :). This is not to say statistics is unreliable, only that we have to be careful when we draw inferences from the statistics we see. There was a study long ago that showed there was a high correlation between alcoholism and salary of professors. If I am to take this as a factual causal relationship, then I suppose I should wish for alcoholism to rise in my country :).

What causes divorce is not as simple as saying drinking causes it, or that sexual unfaithfulness causes it. I believe -- just my belief, no study to back it up -- couples in the west would reconcile, after some initial grief, if it was just a one-off fling.

We must also note that unfaithfulness can come in many flavors, not just sexual. IMO, disrespectful behavior is much more corrosive to healthy relationship than anything else. In such cases, divorce must indeed be encouraged, not stifled.

Divorce rate is also a function of the how liberated women are. In a society where women are economically dependent and are psychologically drilled from birth to believe their purpose in life is to serve their husbands, the divorce rate will be very low, if not zero. As women become economically independent and gain confidence in their own self-worth, they are less likely to put up with men who don't respect them, sober or not. IMO, this is the primary reason for higher divorce rate, not the apparent correlation one may observe between divorce rate and the prevalence of alcohol consumption among men, or women.

Of course alcohol lessens inhibitions and gets the party going. But, it is also a fact that alcohol is a depressant, after the initial euphoria it tends to make one sleepy, drowsy. Too much alcohol will knock you out, make you vomit, and make a mess, not very romantic for that fling outside of marriage. So, only the "enlightened" light drinker can muster up enough libido to make things happen, but, this light drinker has his/her other faculties in perfect order and can easily bring to bear the higher-order imperative of staying faithful to one's spouse, unless this "enlightened" guy or girl, all along had this in mind, in which case, alcohol will be just an excuse.

The college students engaging in dangerous sexual conduct after some binge drinking has nothing to do with divorce rates. Students engage in this kind of behavior as a matter of rights of passage. That has nothing to do with anything.

The next point is about the responsibility of "enlightened" people to set a good example for others. This I agree, many a teenager look to sports stars, movie stars, music starts, or whatever, as role-models. If any of these stars feel any sense of gratitude for the immense riches and stardom they enjoy, they will show some responsibility in the way they behave, but we can't demand it. However, this has nothing to with their private drinking habits, as long as it does not go out of hand into public drunkenness.

Within a smaller circle, where some youngsters may look to elders as role models, it is important to be practical and set a standard that is reasonable. Many, and as time passes, most youngsters will try a drink or two, at one time or another. So, it is far more responsible, IMO, to set standard for responsible drinking than no drinking at all. Demanding total abstinence from our youngsters is impractical, it just simply does not work in most cases.

pviyer sir, I have no problem if you make religious arguments in favor of avoiding alcohol altogether. Say it promotes tamasic nature, say it is a sin, say it inhibits spiritual progress, all of which are fine with me as I think these are mere delusions, and any argument I offer against these delusions will be counter productive, they may make you more stubborn. However, if your case is on a secular level, then I have to disagree with your POV.

I hope you don't find my arguments "vidhanda vadam".

Cheers!
 
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Dear Sri pviyer Ji,

You are jumping in to conclusions without showing any connections. Drunkenness, binge drinking, alcoholism are all well known facts.

There very well may be a connection between drinking and high divorce, let alone having affairs, but I do not think this will ever be proven by any study - drinking may be a cause or a temporary pacifier from a non working marriage problems and there are umpteen number of other reasons for both divorces and affairs. Connecting abstinence especially among women in India to the lowest divorce rate has no merit. Because one can not prove a negative. I can say in the same vein that divorce is lowest in India, because a majority of women don't drive cars!

My issue is not with ill effects of alcohol by abuse. But what you portray and the inferences you make, leaping between inconguent things is what I think is not correct.

If you say that alcohol consumption by women MAY be the reason for high divorce rate in some countries I can agree with that. But you infer as if it is an established fact.

For every person you show me who abuses alcohol, I will show you many who are responsible and control the amount. Alcoholism is like anything, if you abuse it, it will produce evil.

Regards,
KRS
 
The present day parents of brides and grooms. It may be like this

Senior Class III employee has a daughter who did B.Tech IT. He was approched by one of his relative/ uncle for his son. But he rejected stating that he wish the bride to marry an I.T. The news was circulated and a Class III employee who has a son working in an IT industry with a handsome salary approached him. But the bride's father refused as the man is below his level. In the mean time he found that one of his manager's son completed his IT and the employee approached his manager through one of his friends if he is willing for the marriage. The manager said, "I wish my son to marry the director's daughter."
So the marriage is not between the boy and the girl it is coated with Money power and influences.

This remembered me some thing that happened some 30 years back.
A boy and a girl love each other. At later stage when parents came to know about that approached the groom's parents and shocked to note that they came under same GOTHRA. But the parents wish to have the marriage to take place s they were rich! They consulted astrologers and elders who denied permission. At last a solution was acehived. The girl was sent for adoption and adopted by some other relative and the marriage was held at oppiliappan koil! (Near Kumbhakonam)
 
Talking of alcohol consumption and Brahmans, I have been told that a few "aappais" of paayaasam made with molasses, rice/wheat/pulse, coconut milk, etc., will create a good amount of alcohol in the digestive system; sleep or even deep sleep is the pleasurable result of this, unless one is capable of shaking off that pleasure. And most Brahmans, and more so, our Vaadhyaars (at least till the sixties) used to enjoy the feast heartily. I have seen some of them taking large helpings of honey also, because that was also supposed to be indispensable in any Sraaddham feast. Hence I would say that Brahmans had an in-built distillery and were used to good amount of alcohol, in their system itself. (As somebody wittily said "Bar Attached";))

Still, we did not find any addiction or extra-marital affairs more than what the average might have been; at least they were less prone to these, IMO.

Just my thoughts!
 
Respectable members,

Greetings. This thread seem to talk a lot about alcohol consumption and it's effects.

Sri.PVIyer said

Divorce rates are lower in India than in countries where drinking is common. This is already a well known statistic .

Alcohol has nothing to do with this. Divorce rate in India is less, because most women don't seek divorce. The society has no support structure for divorced women; divorced women are considered by most men in the society as 'fair game'; remarriage of divorced women are very hard, since most if not almost all Indian men expect to marry a 'virgin' (while they don't maintain their virginity). Such reasons are the factors stopping most Indian women from seeking divorce. In my opinion, many Indian men don't deserve a wife.

In the culture called X(with lot of drinkers) there is an extremely high percentage of drinkers and there is an increasing trend of women accepting this habit in this culture and to the worse.
Young women fuel rise in binge drinking - Telegraph
On the other hand in India number of people who drink is much lesser mostly because of women.

In India, quality alcohol cost of quality alcohol is very high. It would be a very expensive habit. Mostly that is the reason for less people taking up drinking in India. Drinking is seen as taboo by the society. Going by the movies, I seldom see any of the charecters seem to enjoy drinking. I don't see the rationale between women and drinking habit.

Alcohol in some studies atleast has seen increasing sex behavior. I think one citation is sufficient to illustrate the point .

Alcohol actually reduces the sexual prowess. Very little alcohol helps sexual prowess and gets the body warmed up for action. When in excess, it does not help at all. Your citation about college students is not a balanced citation. In the college students situation, we have a group of youngsters with their harmonal overdrive, willing to experiment everything sexually possible. It is a very biased citation.

Alcohol is considered a disinhibitor by many scholars.

Alcohol is a disinhibitor. But disinhibition does not help sexual prowess. Since alcohol is a disinhibitor, most decent persons don't drive under influence.

In most parties, most decent persons don't drink too much anyway. They don't want to be seen as idiots. But in the privacy of their homes, the story is different... Extra maritial sex has nothing to do with alcohol consumption. May be some alcohol may have been used for 'disinhibition'. But why are you blaming the alcohol? Blame the persons, please.

Cheers!
 
i have always found it disconcerting re our community's tendency to equate personal habits with socioreligiomorality.

when i grew up, i was not allowed to watch movies. main reason? my father believed that watching movies turns you into a kuttichevaru. there was no rational reason for it, except one of my cousins, who was a bum anyway, watched every released tamil movie.

like cigarette smoking. i have a 60 year old friend, who still hides the incriminating smoke behind his back, when his 90 year father passes by. i get so disgusted with this.

my remedy for all this: to openly practice those 'sins' in front of people. i am considered an average honest guy (i hope) and hopefully i hope to persuade my fellow community men, not to confuse your prejudices with religiosity.

worse still are the karnatic music freaks, who go on to the extreme, as to proclaim, that there is no music, except divine music, and that too composed by the trimurthis. i don't know if this is a code word for venting their prejudices against non brahmins, for these know only too well, that it is by and large, only the paappans who patronize this current mode of what is essential a tamil sangam birthed facet of our tamil culture.

we were the first to politicize the arts, and are the first to complain about the decreasing involvement of tambrams in popular mass arts like the movies and filmi geeth. :(
 
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,

You are jumping in to conclusions without showing any connections. Drunkenness, binge drinking, alcoholism are all well known facts.

There very well may be a connection between drinking and high divorce, let alone having affairs, but I do not think this will ever be proven by any study - drinking may be a cause or a temporary pacifier from a non working marriage problems and there are umpteen number of other reasons for both divorces and affairs. Connecting abstinence especially among women in India to the lowest divorce rate has no merit. Because one can not prove a negative. I can say in the same vein that divorce is lowest in India, because a majority of women don't drive cars!

My issue is not with ill effects of alcohol by abuse. But what you portray and the inferences you make, leaping between inconguent things is what I think is not correct.

If you say that alcohol consumption by women MAY be the reason for high divorce rate in some countries I can agree with that. But you infer as if it is an established fact.

For every person you show me who abuses alcohol, I will show you many who are responsible and control the amount. Alcoholism is like anything, if you abuse it, it will produce evil.

Regards,
KRS

There are quite a few opinions expressed. I will not take up every statement because lot of them I find them to be opinions and personal views.

KRS Sir says,
I can say in the same vein that divorce is lowest in India, because a majority of women don't drive cars!
If people dont behave rationally when they drink, any irrational or immoral action can happen, which that particular individual would not do otherwise. Leave alone extramarital affairs, which is only one of the different ill effects. If you feel you cannot agree to this then let us leave it there, I cant be convinced otherwise too, as there is sufficient research(may not be accepted by all but they still are there) that drinks can make even the most rational person to be atleast slightly irrational. Even the words "slightly irrational" can be used for only people who have light quantities of drinks. If you want to rely upon research that is contrary to these facts, I am sure you will find something, please feel free to rely upon it.

For every person you show me who abuses alcohol, I will show you many who are responsible and control the amount. Alcoholism is like anything, if you abuse it, it will produce evil.
Sir there are many activists in India, who work with women, and who have been instrumental in imposing ban of alcohol in some states. The ground realities regarding the most dangerous things which affect women, are well known to these activists. You are concerned with light drinkers, who are a social elite. But I feel they have been a bad example for the average man, who is not so wise and self controlled. Alcohol may be needed in some medicines, I really dont know, but these are cases of emergency and people do not have medicines for pleasure and neither on a regular basis, For that matter poison , mercury(In siddha) and other substances are used in medicines but that cannot be the basis for regular food and life. Whether these are the right kind of medicines to have, I am no one to say or judge.

Nara Sir says,
Divorce rate is also a function of the how liberated women are. In a society where women are economically dependent and are psychologically drilled from birth to believe their purpose in life is to serve their husbands, the divorce rate will be very low, if not zero. As women become economically independent and gain confidence in their own self-worth, they are less likely to put up with men who don't respect them, sober or not. IMO, this is the primary reason for higher divorce rate, not the apparent correlation one may observe between divorce rate and the prevalence of alcohol consumption among men, or women.
Sir it is a well known fact that In India women dont have the freedom , male dominated society that India is. While the apparent correlation between alcohol consumption and divorce rates may seem meaningless, is it not because there is a link between alcohol and social behavior? It can be wife beating in its worst forms or it can be a casual immoral action which can cause friction in the marriage. My point was that many men are not chaste in India. Nobody incriminates them. But women are the sufferers if they are not chaste. The fact that man do not not divorce women in such a large manner, even among middle class, is itself an indication that chastity is common among our women even if it is not 100%. Alcohol as a dis-inhibitor is sufficient to change the statistics and we will see an increase in incidence of unchaste activities in such families. This does not however mean that alcohol is the only cause for immorality but it is fairly evident that it promotes it along with other ills .

A habit is a habit and we cannot predict how habituated a person can become to something when he or she starts tasting it. A better and more responsible position is to create an environment where such habits dont occur in the first place.

But, it is also a fact that alcohol is a depressant, after the initial euphoria it tends to make one sleepy, drowsy. Too much alcohol will knock you out, make you vomit, and make a mess, not very romantic for that fling outside of marriage. So, only the "enlightened" light drinker can muster up enough libido to make things happen, but, this light drinker has his/her other faculties in perfect order and can easily bring to bear the higher-order imperative of staying faithful to one's spouse, unless this "enlightened" guy or girl, all along had this in mind, in which case, alcohol will be just an excuse.
I am aware of these observations but sir an irrational person chucks out logic when he is drunk. He has drinks and wants to do things that he would never do. And imagine his partner who is also drunk. How success they are at immoral acts is much less of a worry than the fact that their mind gets habituated to the idea of doing immoral things. This is the seed for sin which gets sprouted in the minds of those who have intoxicants especially substances like alcohol.

Raghy sir says
Divorce rate in India is less, because most women don't seek divorce.
What is preventing men from applying divorce? Is is not the fact they have confidence in their women.

And most Brahmans, and more so, our Vaadhyaars (at least till the sixties) used to enjoy the feast heartily. I have seen some of them taking large helpings of honey also, because that was also supposed to be indispensable in any Sraaddham feast.
None of them are addicted to alcohol or to the habit of taking drinks, they eat because they like the taste of the food. If it is indeed true that such food causes alcohol to be produced in the body, in a way which can cause effects on the mind, then we need to really rethink about such food. There are many evils in our society including dowry, and one evil in society cannot be used to justify another. Let us first eliminate those practices which are evidently evil, then let us improve our life. Lot of vadhiars drink coffee also, inspite of paramacharya's views against it. Vadhiars who worship paramacharya's photos have no objection to silk. Small faults of individuals cannot be used to make fun of all their good and sincere practices.

Finally a small information for those who believe in spirituality. Vamachara practices like Karna pisachini sadhana begin with the first rule of drinking alcohol and eating meat. Many Sri Upasakas are there who can speak about the destructive abilities of these spirits. Why should these pisachinis seek their sadhakas to change their food habits. Can you not see the condition that they want their sadhakas to be in? Think about it.
 
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Dear Sri pviyer Ji,

You have said:
If people dont behave rationally when they drink, any irrational or immoral action can happen, which that particular individual would not do otherwise. Leave alone extramarital affairs, which is only one of the different ill effects.

THIS is exactly what I mean. You make the above statements and say that there is research to back it up. Show me one research paper that agrees with your first sentence as it's conclusion, let alone the second! One single paper is enough. If it shows what you say is correct as a GENERAL theory like what you say, I will apologize right here.

You have also said:
You are concerned with light drinkers, who are a social elite. But I feel they have been a bad example for the average man, who is not so wise and self controlled

First of all, I am not 'concerned' with any drinkers. By the way, why would you assume that 'average man', is not 'so wise and self controlled'?. Who is this 'average man'? How do you know that as a rule he is not wise and not self controlled? How can one make such a general statement? Where do you get this idea from?

Sri pviyer ji, I am very aware of the ill effects of alcohol. I am not against activists working for dry laws. I am not debating it. What I am debating is your tendency to generalize on the basis of no evidence.

Like all the three sentences I have pointed out already.

Regards,
KRS
 
Dear Sri pviyer Ji,

You have said:
If people dont behave rationally when they drink, any irrational or immoral action can happen, which that particular individual would not do otherwise. Leave alone extramarital affairs, which is only one of the different ill effects.

THIS is exactly what I mean. You make the above statements and say that there is research to back it up. Show me one research paper that agrees with your first sentence as it's conclusion, let alone the second! One single paper is enough. If it shows what you say is correct as a GENERAL theory like what you say, I will apologize right here.
Sir I have already provided you reference to show alcohol is a disinhibitor. The authors have clearly mentioned that disinhibitors cause a weakening of the rationality of the individuality. Please refer to the exact words reproduced in my citation. In the book it says- "When this occurs, it results in a suspension of rational or thoughtful constraints on implusive behavior" . I dont know what else the word suspension is supposed to mean.

There are plenty of research very much available showing effect of alcohol on crime and violence. Crime is anything curbed by law/society,
Here is one more example Citation from Policing and Reducing Crime Unit Crime Reduction Research Series from "
It has been estimated that alcohol misuse contributes to 40% of violent crime
( R o b e rtson, 1990), 78% of assaults, and 88% of criminal damage cases (Alcohol Concern,
1991). One in six cases presenting to the emergency services are thought to be alcohol-
related (Backhouse, 1986). Alcohol is also a contributory factor in many divorces, child abuse
cases and has been linked to domestic violence (Alcohol Concern, 1997). The economic
costs of alcohol to society in a single year are potentially enormous. Godfrey (1996)
calculated that alcohol misuse involved costs of £2.7 billion in 1992, approximately 0.5% of
G ross National Product. Evidence from abroad indicates that the costs of alcohol misuse are
between two percent and five percent of GNP (Alcohol Concern, 1999)

Another example is here "Alcohol Use and sexual risk behaviour cross cultural studies in eight countries" by WHO.
It says
"Alcohol use is associated with certain types of sexual activity. Crime often plays a role in unprotected sex,group sex and anal sex where when participants in these activities are under the influence of alcohol
". Refer to the words "is associated with". This is not my conclusion alone. It also says "
Alcohol use is linked to early sexual experiences
". This is again not my language.
Read further it says "
It has been shown that despite knowledge about preventive measures,condom use is low in vulnerable groups,especially when under the influence of alcohol
"
Sir read the implication of the words "it has been shown" and "especially".
It further says again "
Clients alcohol use has emerged as an important determinant of condom use in some studies
". Is this the effect of a rational behaviour?

I think this statement from the study should prove to be a sufficient warning to people who want to heed it. The study says "
Increasing modernization and liberalization in project sites has contributed to permissive use of alcohol ans risky sexual behavior. In developing countries globalization has contributed to erosion of traditional values and adoption of western lifestyles
"

I thought I will add a few more references(I have added this only later) which may be useful to some. This are two more examples of relationship between extramarital sex and alcohol use.

Citation :Alcohol use and extramarital sex among men in Cameroon
Eugene J Kongnyuy1 email and Charles Shey Wiysonge

About 41.4% of men and 25.8% of women consume alcohol regularly in Cameroon
e observed that drinking alcohol significantly increased the odds of extramarital sex in Cameroon. Overall, 21% of our participants reported that their last sexual intercourse was outside of marriage.
Read again
Gibney and colleagues reported an association between alcohol use and having sex with commercial sex workers among truck drivers in Bangladesh in 2003 [22] and Tveit and collaborators reported less frequent use of condom among Norwegian men who combined alcohol intake and casual sex in 1996
Once again
More recently, Weiser and collaborators found in a population-based survey in Botswana that men who abuse alcohol were three to four times more likely to have multiple (concurrent) sex partners and unprotected sex and to engage transactional sex than non-drinkers
This statement is highly critical
However, the consistency of study results across different settings [9-15,22,34], biologic plausibility [5,45], dose-response relationship [13], and strength of the association suggest that alcohol use is a cause rather than a consequence of unsafe sexual behaviour.
Conclusion of study says :
Alcohol use is associated with having multiple concurrent non-spousal sexual partnerships among married men in Cameroon.
The poor are representative of the vast majority of India.Here is a study below.
Citation : Men’s Extramarital Sex, Marital Relationships and Sexual Risk in Urban Poor Communities in India

Stephen L. Schensul, Abdelwahed Mekki-Berrada, Bonnie K. Nastasi, Rajendra Singh, Joseph A. Burleson and Martha Bojko

Results indicate that men's extramarital sex is significantly associated with husband's and wife's age, wife's perception of domestic violence, husband's education and place of birth, husband's alcohol use, wife's willingness to engage in marital sex, and types of marital sexual acts.



And this is certainly not restriced to poor countries and poor people. Here is a quote from USATODAY
She and her lover were drinking at a bar when they first were attracted to one another and realized they were more than friends.
Psychologist Dave Carder, a family therapist in Fullerton, Calif., says business travelers "are on a slippery slope headed for trouble" any time they go out to an entertainment venue, drink alcohol, eat expensive meals together, have time "to build a social, platonic friendship" and return to the same hotel. "Secrecy is the protection; alcohol is the barrier buster; and availability lights the fire."
From what information is available to me the only difference I think that is there between the rich and the poor is the subtle behavior , external show and sophisticated-ness. The citations above prove that ignorance is not always a cause for wrong actions and we have evidence that inspite of knowledge , alcohol use has promoted risky behavior in sexual matters.

We can argue that the extent of alcohol is important in affecting an individual. That is an argument that can work either way- There is nothing conclusive that can be said about mild effects on behavior on mild use. About who an average man is I dont know. I already said I am not playing a percentage game. I also said one cannot predict how much addicted a person can become to alcohol. I know that if alcohol use becomes more common, addictions will also become more common by the law of percentages. I also know brahmins who were in a good career but who lost their jobs, and wife,children, solely due to alcohol use. The person was otherwise good and responsible till the party culture in the modern society took hold of him and he could not manage it.

If one person is saved by society that is the best society can gift to him or her. We are all addicted one thing or another, some to coffee, some to tv, some to worthless books, some to specific food. There is definately no way we can control such excessive interest and force people to restrict themselves. But once alcohol use if let loose, the implications seem clear to me if not to anybody else.

The crime rate statistics may be made fun of by supporters of drinking. But I see that the disinhibition effects of alcohol a sufficient thing to affect rationality and even before any study is conducted , we as Indians especially our women who are at the receiving end already know it.

Further there will be an other side argument to alcohol, and the best response from the other side picture is that things are "inconclusive". I dont expect much more from western scholars where most of the study anyway is being made, where people have been used to drinking alcohol since youth and would be highly sceptical of even the slightest of evidences.
 
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Sri.Kunjuppu sir said-

.....worse still are the karnatic music freaks, who go on to the extreme, as to proclaim, that there is no music, except divine music, and that too composed by the trimurthis.....

I have seen this many a times. Althoug not all, most people had such views. Then this song came out which changed the outlook for majority of the population. I loved that song!

Cheers!
 
Dear PVIyer ji,
I have gone through your arguments and counter arguments of Shir KRS,
KRS has only mentioned that you are generalizing your arguments but is not against your principles of DRY Law.
for example in your mail #41 you have given a statistics to substantiate your generalized argument.
Iam just taking one line "It has been estimated that alcohol misuse contributes to 40% of violent crime
( R o b e rtson, 1990)"
It is reported that 40% pf violent crfimes are contributed from misuse of alcohol.
I would like to know who are the other 60%. In the absence of any information it has to be concluded that it is done by non-alcoholics and I can interpret it as alcoholics do lesser crimes than who abstain from it.
I am not a good reader and i do not know any of the authors mentioned by your posts. While I am with you in curtailing the spreading of alcoholism in youth we cant say that by being a teetotaler we will have only good virtues.
 
Dear Ramachnadran
You have given an indication that if one has the money he can twist anything. It might be possible against corrupt minded people but not with everyone
Every one in India hopes that Brahmins are with good character and respect them. But few, you can say 10 percent are rich or very rich and under the cover of the caste prefers to claim that they are more spiritual. One side they do very big Yagas in their houses, Places of work, Temples etc., and create an image that they are the pillars of the community and offer a handsome dakshina to the prohits and cloths etc. when the same prohit visit some other place and offer a comment, "Eswaran Ennai antha manithanidam kaiyendha vachchuttan. Ellam ennuduya karma!"
The Purohit has shifted the blame to Eswaran. If the purohit was sure that he was doing something wrong he could have abstained from conducting the function but he chooses to conduct it and blames GOD for his error which is foolish.
Long back there was a story I don't know how many of you read that. A sanyasi was discussing with his disciples an important issue on Vedas. At that time there were several people waiting for his darshan and blessings. A sishya approached Guru and said, a rich man arrived for his darshan. The Guru immediatly broke the discourse and went in to a room and spoke with that man for an hour and came back after sending him. A student asked Guru "When all the person are waiting for his speech why he offered special darshan to the particular man." The Sanyasi ,replied "We have no rice for tomorrow. we need that provision for our food and that necessity made me to break my speech."
If it is the rice for the Sanyasi than the attitude is wrong but if it is for the gurukula where many students will have to be fed than it becomes the primary duty of the guru to feed them and if he meets a donor who would have come with prior appointment I dont think the guru has done any mistake.
So the money makes many things and not culture. Before money power all are flying dry leaves. Money will buy anything in the world.

If one offer money a team of prohits will conduct yagnobhaveetha tharanam to a boy of inter caste marriages. Brahmin and christian couple, Brahmin and others etc.

I personally visited those ceremonies and after the ceremony over in the bus stand asked the prohit whether he was aware that the boy for whom poonal was offered is born to so and so. He replied "Yes, I know. But he offered my team Rs6500."
The purohit wanted the money and he has done it. It is his mistake who sacrifices the dharma for his personal benefit.
I am still able to see many sastrigals who do not go to Non-Brahmin houses to perform rituals eventhough they are offered huge amounts

If you have money power you can twist Vedas too, that will be supported by our own community people.
 
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I am not a drinker. Nevertheless, I think it is unfair to criticize alcohol. What it does is to bring out the other person in you who is your anti-ego. I have seen sober people to become Knights after boozing and similarly Knights become 'malleable'. I have also seen people cheating everybody and betraying latent talents. Advice is allow the sober not to drink and allow the Knight to go on!
 
Dear PVIyer ji,
I have gone through your arguments and counter arguments of Shir KRS,
KRS has only mentioned that you are generalizing your arguments but is not against your principles of DRY Law.
for example in your mail #41 you have given a statistics to substantiate your generalized argument.
Iam just taking one line "It has been estimated that alcohol misuse contributes to 40% of violent crime
( R o b e rtson, 1990)"
It is reported that 40% pf violent crfimes are contributed from misuse of alcohol.
I would like to know who are the other 60%. In the absence of any information it has to be concluded that it is done by non-alcoholics and I can interpret it as alcoholics do lesser crimes than who abstain from it.
I am not a good reader and i do not know any of the authors mentioned by your posts. While I am with you in curtailing the spreading of alcoholism in youth we cant say that by being a teetotaler we will have only good virtues.
Sir this research is clear that 40% of violence happens because of the use of alcohol. It does not mean that 40% of violent people drink. That is not inferred from the citation but my conclusion that the causes of 40% of violence is certainly because of alcohol is acceptable. The others may or may not be alcohol users but these others did not commit crime because of alcohol.

If I am accused of generalizing I wonder what some would say to this by V.R Krishna Iyer, the legal luminary.
The State and the Evil of Drink « Thougth & Action
But this is a trade where the turnover tempts the customer to take rolling trips into the realm of the jocose, the lachrymose and then the comatose. Many a fracas, felony, road accident and incident of street violence start with alcoholism.
Terrible crimes are committed by drunkards. The jocose first sip, the bellicose second sip, the lachrymose third sip… And with the final gulp you become comatose and lie down somewhere, often not knowing where. If this happens at home, the wife gets beaten if she protests. With much of the income spent on the stuff, the family often ends up bankrupt. Instances of hospitalisation owing to the drink evil seem to be on the rise in the State.
Alcoholism is an unmitigated evil and when it becomes a habit, multiple pathological consequences follow. Criminals and goondas with violent habits have a vested interest in liquor. It is ironic that our governments have become dealers in alcohol, handling the Big Business as a state-run enterprise.
. So far as liquor consumption is concerned, the Centre, if it believes in the Constitution and in particular in Article 47, should force the States to practice prohibition
Alcoholism is a national enemy and our import policy must ban foreign liquor.
All great men were free from alcoholism: they range from Bernard Shaw to Mahatma Gandhi. From Vedanta to Islam and every faith which is committed to dignity, decency and sobriety has advocated this, too. Some artists, like musicians and poets, have violated this virtue and drunk themselves to death. Byron, for instance, wrote:
“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk;
The best of life is but intoxication.”
If the elimination of poverty and bankruptcy will constitute patriotism, the highest priority to implementing this principle should be given to an absolute ban on alcoholism.

If there is greater generalization than mine then this certainly this what he says
I hold drink to be more damnable than thievery and perhaps even prostitution. Is it not often the parent to both?
We should re-declare our faith in undiluted prohibition.

But I have provided evidence that at some stage alcohol becomes responsible for violence/crime, loss in rationality, extra marital affairs, divorce. What is the percentage required for this to happen. I dont know but I see this as a trend . People here are born in good families , good parents, good wives , good relations and responsibility driven into their heads since childhood. This will be there. Today if a man has the slightest temptation to have an extra sip, his self image, his concern of his wife's feelings etc have sufficiently moderated him. Two three generations later, with drinkers more prevalent I dont see this as necessarily happening. Kerala is an example of a literate state going awry.
I cannot prove these last few statements in a court of law, but pardon me I have seen enough to be unshaken in these views.

I am sure people here may be hating me for such strong statements on alcohol drinking. But why should I take so much pain to highlight all this, just to be hated?
 
ramacc, suresh,

i think you have overemphasized the importance of brahmins to current day society.

in tamilnadu we are outcastes. officially we are a non entity. much as i abhor the tamil nadu brahmin association, no political party worth its salt would want its approval or support.

i think the same exists outside of tamil nadu. the days of yags and mass prayers are long gone. if at all anything is done, it will evoke more criticism as a wastage of huge amounts of money (which i think is true anyway). money that could be better spend tutoring a poor child.

these type of discussion, i think, is more like 'frogs in the well' outlook that we have. no one but a minority of even brahmins care about these things. not nowadays anyway.
 
Dear Kunjuppu,
I dont think I have overemphasized the importance of brahmins eventhough i am proud to be a brahmin.
It is true that ******* approval or support is not necessary because the vote bank of 3% is scattered in the whole of Tamilnadu and not to any particular area and there is no unity among the brahmins. If we are asked to vote to a particular party by our association I doubt whether even 10% of us will follow the diktat whereas the other castes follow their leaders order to a great extent. We brahmins have our own rule of creating exceptions and more often than not we follow our own mind.
We dont go to the streets to fight and show our solidarity to our ******* and I have a very strong feeling that out leaders at the top in the association have diametrically opposite views politically.
 
suresh,

i think i was not very clear. my emphasis was on the futility of organizaing yagas in these days. and garnering mass support across castes. i don't think that works any more (not sure if it ever worked).

re tambram association, it is best i desist from giving my opinion here.

thank you.
 
I feel it is time we differentiated between alcohol use and alcoholism. Perhaps there is an entrenched feeling among some of us that alcohol use = alcoholism in the very near future. That is not true among societies which do not see anything unusual, adventurous, extra-civilized or as a sign of high social standing. But some population groups seem to be more vulnerable to addiction for alcohol than some others. Whether this is genetic or due to mere social conditioning, I don't know. (Perhaps Smt. Happy Hindu may be able to tell if there is any study regarding genetics and addiction.)

I feel tabras are, as a group, very susceptible to any addiction. Strong coffee at prescribed times without which many tabras feel out of sorts, get headaches, etc., is a symptom of this weakness, I feel. 70 or 80 years ago, coffee or tea was not known in most tabra houses in Travancore area, I am told, because most were so poor that they could just afford two square meals for their (usually large) families. I have heard from my grandmother that the children used to have உப்பெணயும் சாதமும் (previous day's rice soaked in water, mixed with curd, salt and a little gingelly oil) in the morning, the usual meal at noon and again in the night; even items like dosa, idli etc., used to be rare delicacies in the poor households; cooking was only once, in the morning for fuel (wood) saving.

Then the upper crust (the richest and those who got opportunities to work under British officials and move with them during their tours, etc.,) somehow picked up this coffee habit, not because the Britishers taunted them for not drinking coffee but our own "ustads" felt they would be making a "bold personal fashion statement" as to how progressive, civilized, anglicized, etc., they were, among the hoi polloi tabras, and so took to coffee. To make a long story short, the tendency to keep up with the Joneses finally made "degree coffee" synonymous with tabras.

Now, the mechanism of addiction is the same and just as the whole tabra society buckled under the cultural onslaught of coffee, the day may not be far off when the alcohol addiction also overtakes our community. People like pviyer who are so particular about preventing addiction should set an example for others by eschewing tea, coffee and similar beverages first, IMO.
 
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