i think most of them have jumped the gun by talking about what is wrong about brahmins smoking, drinking, eating NV etc as soon as this topic started...
i see that ramachandran has mentioned about the trend of all parents (not just brahmin) parents to start with... later on he has just mentioned about brahmins and drinking habit...
so whether it is brahmin or not, i feel it is shocking that parents of bride are ok for grooms with the above habits......
Before saying anything else, let me say that I am not saying drinkers are not good people and that is the one thing that decides if a person is good or not. I further do not claim that non drinkers are in anyway better people than drinkers.
When the famous chineese travellers visited the kingdom of Harshavardhana they seem to have remarked that except for people in the margins no one here drinked. Not drinking is extolled as a virtue in India and this concept has influenced other countries including arabia, where prophet later made it a mandatory practice.
There are people here that would say that the vedic rishis used to drink and buddha and mahavira suddenly invented such concepts. Let us park that discussion and concentrate on what is right or wrong.
Though this is bound to be out of topic I offer the following reasons why we should not drink.
1. Chandogya upanishad clearly says that food we eat affects our mind.
2. If we accept that statement and also consider some symptoms of drinking on a person- more anger than usual, less steady, less in control we can see that if we are willing to accept that, apart from physical manifested properties of food,there are properties that cannot be seen by the normal sense organs, then we can say that there must be something so unspiritual about this food called intoxicants which causes such a destability to the mind. Its origin is known from what it does to the mind though certain aspects of this food cannot be seen.
3. In general families and societies with drinking have higher prevalence of lust, extra marital relations.
4. The argument can be that slow drinking does not affect the person. It may be true in case of many individuals but it is not true in case of others. In Bhagwat Gita it is said that the enlightened people practice code of conduct for others to follow, even if it is not needed for them. Even if we go by the assumption that slow drinking does no bad to others, the individual has to consider what his habits can do to influence the society in general.
5. I have attended many parties with drink served. But not in a single one of them, have I not seen many people who blabber and talk nonsense. In sober times their behavior is much different and I just wonder that as society is slowly becoming free, with people being excused if they do anything, what kind of things they may have started doing, after a glass of drink. After the incident mind is capable of making up a hundred adjustments and invent a hundred logic to explain one's own behavior. But I see that the overall life pattern of regular drinkers would have been much different over the years had they abstained.
People may say that they know non drinkers with hundreds of faults which many drinkers dont have. Let us not waste our time in futile comparisons and let us look at what could have happened to a non drinker had he taken upto drinking. There is also a concern for morality and show children and others the right way of living, even if these little things like abstinence do not make us great.
Note: I have quoted some scriptures and a bit of history , I can very well give citations if needed. I was very hurt by nonsensical statements to the effect that I dont have back up for my statements. The statement to the effect that arabic might have been influenced by India's ideas is just an inference because arabians themselves have acknowledged India's noble influence on them. It may or may not pertain to a specific habit that is anybody's guess.