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NON marraige of brahmin men

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:D remind of this brilliant brilliant short film i came across a couple of years back! I had a permanent grin on my face for days! Ladies and gentlemen, may i present you ...drumroll please...Mr and Mr Iyer!!

Mr. & Mr. Iyer on Vimeo

hi amala garu,
summa solla koodathu....nice nadaswaram music....nice seedai from grand sweets....finally ATLEAST VADAMA GAY.....NOT

VAATHIMA GAY....besh...besh.. romba nalla irukku....koors podavaiya/ koora vesthiya......?
 

Dear Renu,

Even in tambrams there are four sub sects and everyone claims that theirs is the best! So, it is natural to think that the

IC or IR girl will become a brahmin, if she marries a brahmin groom
! You might be knowing that even in olden days, brahmin

grooms were allowed to marry for kshathriya, vaisya or shudra castes, where as a girl was not allowed to marry from other

varnAs, because she will not be considered as a brahmin anymore.


The only son of one of my cousin sisters got married to a girl from Thailand. The sAsthrigaL gave a solution! And, my cousin

brother adopted the girl as his daughter and gave her in marriage to his sister's son! Wedding was in typical Iyer style with

the traditional dress, Kasi yAthrA, mAlai mAtral,
oojnal, kanyA dhAnam, mAngalya dhAraNam, saptapadhi etc!


But my brother has a friend who is a christian married to a brahmin lady. He goes to church every Sunday and she goes to

the temple every Friday. Their kids go with either mom or dad as per their like! It is very rare to see such couple because

usually the religion is changed for the bride well before the wedding!
 

Dear Renu,

Even in tambrams there are four sub sects and everyone claims that theirs is the best! So, it is natural to think that the

IC or IR girl will become a brahmin, if she marries a brahmin groom
! You might be knowing that even in olden days, brahmin

grooms were allowed to marry for kshathriya, vaisya or shudra castes, where as a girl was not allowed to marry from other

varnAs, because she will not be considered as a brahmin anymore.


The only son of one of my cousin sisters got married to a girl from Thailand. The sAsthrigaL gave a solution! And, my cousin

brother adopted the girl as his daughter and gave her in marriage to his sister's son! Wedding was in typical Iyer style with

the traditional dress, Kasi yAthrA, mAlai mAtral,
oojnal, kanyA dhAnam, mAngalya dhAraNam, saptapadhi etc!


But my brother has a friend who is a christian married to a brahmin lady. He goes to church every Sunday and she goes to

the temple every Friday. Their kids go with either mom or dad as per their like! It is very rare to see such couple because

usually the religion is changed for the bride well before the wedding!

Dear RR ji,

Anuloma permits a man to marry a girl whose varna is equal or below his Varna.
Therefore a Brahmin male is allowed to marry a girl from any Varna.

A Kshatriya male will be allowed to marry Kshatriya, Vaishya and Shudra.

Vaishya male will be allowed to marry a Vaishya and Shudra.

Shudra male can only marry a Shudra.

But Pratiloma is not generally allowed cos the Varna of the girl should not be higher than the guys.

So far in Puranas only King Yayati married Devayani..being a Pratiloma wedding.

Frankly speaking inter religious marriages take a heavy toll eventually.
I have no idea how some Hindu woman can adapt to their Non Hindu husbands.

I have seen some really enjoying Christmas..fasting for Lent etc.

No way man!


I might not be a traditional type of Hindu but I know I can never agree to follow another religion lifestyle.

That is why I made sure that I will only marry a Hindu.

Hindu religion has freedom that allows us to be ourselves and not forcing anything upon us.

I love freedom..hence I love being a Hindu.
 
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hi

I love freedom..hence I love being a Hindu.


i really appreciate u.... i really proud of u...i know that u are from muslim country....i know ur feelings abt ur brother's

marriage with a muslim gal....i know that how much ur parents felt sad abt brother's marriage....hats off...young lady...

its golden words....
 
......... Hindu religion has freedom that allows us to be ourselves and not forcing anything upon us. .....
You got the point Renu!

That is why many Hindus don't go to temples; don't pray even at home; eat non-veg; don't feel bad to drink;

mock at their own customs and traditions and so on....... :cool:
 
What I fail to understand in an inter caste marriage..why does one partner need to behave and become another caste?
After all how different can a life style of a Hindu get?
Renukaji

Forget about inter caste ,even among Brahmin couples in today's times there is a vast difference in their outlook and way of life .
I have friends who are Brahmins and who are married to Brahmin girls but they have a very tough time even in fundamentals of so called following a Basic Hindu life .
Eg. The Husband wants a small puja alter if not for elaborate puja , at least to keep the pics of certain deities , light a lamp and spend few mts daily before doing a simple puja or some chants or silent meditation while the wife is least bothered in that and prefers an artistic show case in that place .
The husband wants to visit Temples during important days especially during festivals etc but the wife wants to go to Movies and eat out .
Sometimes it is reverse i.e wife is religious and husband is not and the above 2 examples apply for both cases .
One partner wants the child to learn Sanskrit and Hindu Culture while other think that Sanskrit is a dead language and since world is going Global one needs to learn French / Spanish to have the extra Edge .
Like these sometimes they break their head for finding consensus in simple day to day things and get frustrated in maintaining a basic Hindu way of life .
So it is not just a Brahmin , Non Brahmin issue .

I feel those couples ( even if they belong to different caste ) but have some common Hindu samskaras due to their and their families association with some good Hindu religious Organizations like Ramakrishna , Sivananda , Sathya Sai , Ramana Ashram etc from a young age have better compatibility and understanding in their day to day life that Brahmin couples who are poles apart in these things .

My cousin in Malaysia who are Brahmins got their daughter married to a Boy who was not a Brahmin but both these families have a long association with Satha Sai Organization and they are happily married with 2 kids .The usual Husband wife irritants are there but when it comes to following basic Hindu samskaras there is no problem at all for this couple or their families .

So this should be the key factor in a marriage I suppose .
If both are atheists / agnostic that is a different matter but if One wants to maintain some Hindu samskaras then it is better he/she choose a partner who has similar samskaras and if you cant find such a person in your own caste ,better to find it from another caste .
 
You got the point Renu!

That is why many Hindus don't go to temples; don't pray even at home; eat non-veg; don't feel bad to drink;

mock at their own customs and traditions and so on....... :cool:

LOL! I had a feeling you were going to write this! Ha Ha Ha.

Well..to me freedom in Hinduism means:

1)Freedom to think,experiment and analyze.
We are not force fed and our brains can be active to explore God.

2)There is no hard and fast rule to compel us to only follow one set way of life.

3) In true Hinduism..emphasis is more on Sathyam Vada and Dharmam Cara and not the number of visits one makes to the temple or outward show.

4)Able to sing and praise the glory of God in the way we are best accustomed too.

5)In Hinduism we do not manufacture robots that only follow the command of "Yes Sir Yes Sir"

6)Last but not the least it is not considered a mortal,malignant sin even if one is an Atheist.
 
Renukaji

Forget about inter caste ,even among Brahmin couples in today's times there is a vast difference in their outlook and way of life .
I have friends who are Brahmins and who are married to Brahmin girls but they have a very tough time even in fundamentals of so called following a Basic Hindu life .
Eg. The Husband wants a small puja alter if not for elaborate puja , at least to keep the pics of certain deities , light a lamp and spend few mts daily before doing a simple puja or some chants or silent meditation while the wife is least bothered in that and prefers an artistic show case in that place .
The husband wants to visit Temples during important days especially during festivals etc but the wife wants to go to Movies and eat out .
Sometimes it is reverse i.e wife is religious and husband is not and the above 2 examples apply for both cases .
One partner wants the child to learn Sanskrit and Hindu Culture while other think that Sanskrit is a dead language and since world is going Global one needs to learn French / Spanish to have the extra Edge .
Like these sometimes they break their head for finding consensus in simple day to day things and get frustrated in maintaining a basic Hindu way of life .
So it is not just a Brahmin , Non Brahmin issue .

I feel those couples ( even if they belong to different caste ) but have some common Hindu samskaras due to their and their families association with some good Hindu religious Organizations like Ramakrishna , Sivananda , Sathya Sai , Ramana Ashram etc from a young age have better compatibility and understanding in their day to day life that Brahmin couples who are poles apart in these things .

My cousin in Malaysia who are Brahmins got their daughter married to a Boy who was not a Brahmin but both these families have a long association with Satha Sai Organization and they are happily married with 2 kids .The usual Husband wife irritants are there but when it comes to following basic Hindu samskaras there is no problem at all for this couple or their families .

So this should be the key factor in a marriage I suppose .
If both are atheists / agnostic that is a different matter but if One wants to maintain some Hindu samskaras then it is better he/she choose a partner who has similar samskaras and if you cant find such a person in your own caste ,better to find it from another caste .

Dear Sir,

You got it right!
 
........... So this should be the key factor in a marriage I suppose .
If both are atheists / agnostic that is a different matter but if One wants to maintain some Hindu samskaras then it is better he/she choose a partner who has similar samskaras and if you cant find such a person in your own caste ,better to find it from another caste .
Dear Sir,

I have seen atheist husband happily married to a theist wife. I think it is the freedom that the couple give to each other

to enjoy their likes, leads to a successful marriage! Without knowing this basic fact, girls and boys talk of 100% compatibility

and delay their marriage for ever!!

Ram loves to watch basket ball matches and I love to listen to carnatic concerts. We attend what we like and feel happy!
He loves to watch detective serials on TV and I will be listening to songs in youtube in the same drawing room. :peace:
 
Dear Sir,

I have seen atheist husband happily married to a theist wife. I think it is the freedom that the couple give to each other

to enjoy their likes, leads to a successful marriage! Without knowing this basic fact, girls and boys talk of 100% compatibility

and delay their marriage for ever!!

Ram loves to watch basket ball matches and I love to listen to carnatic concerts. We attend what we like and feel happy!
He loves to watch detective serials on TV and I will be listening to songs in youtube in the same drawing room. :peace:

Dear RR Ji,

That's why latest technology is still the best...wife will be busy typing in forum using lap top..husband will be surfing internet with his smart phone or watching TV.. all in the same drawing room...no fights!LOL
 

Dear Renu,

I have one more room all for myself! My pooja + music room!

While I take classes, Ram is either with the PC or TV! :cool:
 

Dear Renu,

I have one more room all for myself! My pooja + music room!

While I take classes, Ram is either with the PC or TV! :cool:

Dear RR ji,

Even I have a room for my personal use.

That room is for my Sanskrit study, I pray in that room too.

The main Pooja room is in another place ..that Pooja room is used by my husband and I keep it clean for him to use.

But anyway my whole house is filled with framed paintings from ISCKON and also various art work depicting Lord Buddha,Lord Ganesha and also Amman...not to forget a Nataraj metal statue in my hall.

I like decorating the house with figurines and paintings of scenes of divinity.

But only yesterday I got to know that my husband has never really seen all the paintings on the wall cos at a temple yesterday the same ISCKON painting of Gajendra Moksha which I have at home was at the temple and my husband said "what is that story about?..I have never seen this painting before"

I explained to him Gajendra Moksha story and told him the same painting is actually in our hall at home!LOL
 
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and kids on playstation! There is a report that kids are no more interested in action games, but watch *clips in smart phones!

Like old days. My father, after nitya karma preparing for the day's teaching in college, my mother busy cooking with singing and recitation, and we brothers fighting for kalki-ananda vikatan ignoring school work.

Dear RR Ji,

That's why latest technology is still the best...wife will be busy typing in forum using lap top..husband will be surfing internet with his smart phone or watching TV.. all in the same drawing room...no fights!LOL
 
Dear Renu,

Proves beyond doubt that not all men have good observation! :D

Dear RR ji,

You see it was me who hit nails into the wall sometimes even climbing up a ladder to fix all those pic..so it is me who knows what pics are in the hall.

Anyway we have to give everyone the freedom to see or not to see!LOL

But anyway yesterday he took a good look at all the pics at home!
 

Dear Renu,

Sometimes I feel sad for being efficient! All the odd jobs in our sweet home are taken for granted to be done by me!

The list is long... changing the batteries of wall clocks, replacing fused bulbs, replacing the fuse wire if it is blown, repairing the

leaking water taps, changing the gas cylinder, driving nails and so on. My D I L is very smart and gets all these done by my son! :cool:

P.S: I used to think - 'I was born with a screw driver in my hand!' :lol:
 
Go for technology; hubby has to pay the bill if he doesn't care to contribute labour.

Wall clocks with rechargeable batteries, mains connected with auto synchronisation for time setting.
Long life LED bulbs, expected to last ten years or more.
MCBs with auto reset.
Washerless maintenance free taps with auto cleaning filters (in case tank water carries mud or stones)
Piped gas connection
Wall hooks with boeing recommended adhasives, guaranteed to hold for ever, with redundant hooks for 100% reliability.
A joint family accommodating son and dil.

When there is a will (will must influence required behaviour) there is a way.


Dear Renu,

Sometimes I feel sad for being efficient! All the odd jobs in our sweet home are taken for granted to be done by me!

The list is long... changing the batteries of wall clocks, replacing fused bulbs, replacing the fuse wire if it is blown, repairing the

leaking water taps, changing the gas cylinder, driving nails and so on. My D I L is very smart and gets all these done by my son! :cool:

P.S: I used to think - 'I was born with a screw driver in my hand!' :lol:
 

Dear Renu,

Sometimes I feel sad for being efficient! All the odd jobs in our sweet home are taken for granted to be done by me!

The list is long... changing the batteries of wall clocks, replacing fused bulbs, replacing the fuse wire if it is blown, repairing the

leaking water taps, changing the gas cylinder, driving nails and so on. My D I L is very smart and gets all these done by my son! :cool:

P.S: I used to think - 'I was born with a screw driver in my hand!' :lol:

Dear RR ji,

Wow you are like me too.

When the house gate gets hard to open it will be me spraying the WD 40 lubricant at the hinges.
I also clean the AC filter.

I do all the banging of nails in walls and minor repairs too cos I am used to doing it in my clinic too.

The reason I end up doing it is becos I do not procrastinate and do it fast and I feel we woman are more observant and realize things faster.

Sometimes men procrastinate and let things lie and repair things after a long time.

But my husband is very observant when it comes to vegetables in the fridge.

He knows what is finished and he buys all vegetables.

So you see the way to a man's heart is through his stomach..they really know what to buy in order to get a nice meal!
 
Wall hooks with boeing recommended adhasives, guaranteed to hold for ever, with redundant hooks for 100% reliability.

Dear Sir,

Adhesive wall hooks do not last too long.

I have had pictures come crashing down cos the wall adhesive hook peeled off the paint of the wall and it gave away.

Nail still is more secure.

BTW sir..most of us working woman share household bills with husband.
 
See qualifier; boeing recommended.

Hooks with double sided adhesive tapes will give way in a short time. Special adhesives and wall preparation will do the trick. Adhesives are widely used in airplanes and machine construction.

How is the sharing done for the bills - 50/50. We have a simple system in our household. All money goes to the joint account and spent from there after budget approval.

Dear Sir,

Adhesive wall hooks do not last too long.

I have had pictures come crashing down cos the wall adhesive hook peeled off the paint of the wall and it gave away.

Nail still is more secure.

BTW sir..most of us working woman share household bills with husband.
 
How is the sharing done for the bills - 50/50. We have a simple system in our household. All money goes to the joint account and spent from there after budget approval.


Dear Sir,

Yes 50-50..it is fair and square cos both are working.
We maintain individual accounts.
 
1. Go for technology; hubby has to pay the bill if he doesn't care to contribute labour.

2. A joint family accommodating son and dil. ......
Dear Sir,

1. Thanks for the valuable ideas... These might be possible, except the piped gas connection!

2. Not possible because we live in Sing. Chennai and Son's family is in Boston. And, he is just a G C holder!!
 
Women have long had to put up with the stereotype that our beauty declines with age, while men apparently only become more handsome.

Yet new research has revealed that us girls could actually be ageing better than men - and it's not just us who think so.

The more they delay the more they will become older; Men are different , always agile and can get married even at the age of 40!!

Are women now ageing better than men? - Yahoo! Lifestyle UK
 
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