Meeting my amma after appa's demise

[P.J.]

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Wonder why there is NO reply from the thread starter yet!!

Probably she got enough advice!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Probably she got enough advice!!

May be! But I expected at least one reply from her. :typing:

 

[prasad1]

As I heard when I was in TN, there is a pariharam for this. Instead of meeting your mother at home, you can meet her in any temple with some water in a "sombu". Both of you should look at the water first and then can see each other. Subsequently you can go to her house and do other things as you wish. I do not know the significance of this but this is what I heard. By doing this, you are also following the old customs and at the same time arriving at a practical solution.

Hope this solution may help you to certain extent. Very sorry about the demise of your father.

Venkat K

Seems like a sensible "way around".

 

[Amirtha]

[FONT=&quot]Dear Tambrahm[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sorry for your loss. Veterans here given advice and reasoning for you to see your mother. We don’t follow sastra verbatim everyday especially when overseas. We don’t even know the meaning or why we do them. Imo we follow sasthiram at our convenience. Besides, once we cross the ocean, the sasthiram doesn’t apply. In my opinion human psyche is more important than all the restrictions in the name of sastra which was hard-pressed upon us in the ancient past without any proper scientific explanation. We should stop following them blindly. Emotionally, you and your mother need each other. If you are feeling guilty for any reason, don’t. Whatever happened is in the past. Try to go and see her. That will be my first priority if I were you. I am saying this from my personal experience. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Kind Regards[/FONT]

 

[P.J.]

Why more and more advices when the person who posted the Thread is not responding to anyone?

It is just like talking to ourselves.

 

[Raji Ram]

Only one post from Ms. Tambrahm in our forum (viz) the OP of this thread!
May be, we are taken for a ride! :car:

P.S: I am reminded of the newbie, who asked to give a good day for her cesarean section

and all the members rushed to her help! Then she was :tape: !

 

[tambrahm]

Hi,
thank yo

 

[tambrahm]

Thank u to each and everyone of you. Sorry for my late reply. Cudn't post earlier. It was tough finding time with baby around. Thanks for all ur suggestions. I have decided to o and meet my mom. But am still skeptical abt bringing her with me. To give some background abt me - I am a working woman, living with my husband and child in Singapore. On laws live in chn. As far as relationship with inlaws goes neither sweet nor sour. Now I need to join office in 2-3 weeks, so husband and in laws say ok to bring my mom to take care of the baby but am not confident. Tomorrow even if my child or husband get fever, am afraid if they will relate it to my mom's presence. I don't want to hurt my mom at any cost. Most importantly, mine is an inter- caste marriage. Their custom says if my mom stays in a temple for one night, then she canto anywhere. I said that is not possible as our custom. Don't visit temple for 1 year. I am strong person not afraid of anyone. My only worry is my conscience and no one should hurt my mom. If elders guide me that it is not wrong then I can convince myself and others.

My mom is not alone. She stays with my bro or sister. I am the youngest in fly and highly bonded with my mum.

 

[tambrahm]

Hi everyone, once again a big sorry to all of you. I am a genuine person and in definite need of your advise and help. I did take all ur suggestions and hv booked my tickets to go and meet my mom. Bringing her with me or not is a decision I am still pondering about. Basically bayama irukku.
once again a big sorry - managing my new born alone with the help of my husband. So I hardly find anytime at computer.

Regards
tambrahm

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Tambrahm,

Thanks for the long awaited post! Wish you all the best.

Mrs. R R

 

[prasad1]

We wish you the best. Be strong and have faith in yourself.