Marriage of brahmin boys - why late or no?

[krish44]

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dear brahmanyan sir
times have changed .
seniors should accept the new reality of girls being money earners and economic entities and setting terms to all including their own family
when we were young our parents also felt the same way about us- how we were carefree big money spenders and irresponsible
since money has depreciated , big money of today is small money of yesteryears.
also the modern girls want freedom and their own personal space . if they feel confident and free to decide their life , parents should step aside and let them do so . ater all it is their life . if we have brought them up properly with right values , they will not go astray .Incase they do , they will learn from their mistakes . we need to be available only when they want seniors otherwise we can step aside

 

[renuka]

renukaji
you are a bit of sherlock holmes of a different kind
you conclude about people by appearances . sometimes one finds very liberated ladies in conservative households and appearances can be deceptive
See I do not have any characteristics of TB though I pass of as one successfully.
many times when one directly transacts , one finds many of the fears are unfounded
pottu and thali alone do not make a person . these are only outward appearances
they might have a modern mind set and in most cases put up with a lot of deviants in the family.
freedom anyway is a matter of feeling . you can be as free as you decide to be.
also most rules and regulations are meant to be broken if not convenient.
most ladies these days do not wear thaali full time and it has become ceremonial like poonool.
pottu is your personal choice .
I know many girls who start from home if compelled with pottu and get rid of it the first thing in the college or office rest room
it is a matter of getting the man in your life to make him see reason and make him see that it is a matter of personal choice for you .
men also smoke and drink though many ladies do not like it . yet most girls put up with it
so ultimately if couple like each other , they adjust a lot. I have not heard anyone breaking a marriage for such frivolous reasons

Dear Krish ji,

I usually do not judge a book by its cover but by looking at the cover at times it gives a hint on what could be inside.

When I see a patient at the registration counter itself I can observe from my CCTV what the case would be..by observing body language we can almost guess what the case will be.

Once I had gone to another clinic to see a doctor for my own ailment and I saw a patient walk in to the clinic and I told my husband "this patient is most probably a having a health care insurance card given by her employer and give her 10 seconds and she is going to start acting arrogant with the counter staff"

and sure enough she started saying 'I am using my company health care insurance card and I demand to get the best treatment right now"

My husband asked me "how did you know?"

I said "a patient who is not paying themselves for their medical bills walks with an arrogant sway and looks around with head raised..a sign of arrogance with eyes giving a slight slanted look and surveys the place becos they feel they are entitled to the best treatment cos they are not footing the bill and will exaggerate all symptoms to make sure they use up their entitlement..but a patient who is paying the bill himself/herself will not display an arrogant stance cos they would be rather anxious to know what the bill would be like cos they have to pay themselves"

So Krish ji..by body language we can size up most people.

BTW one can avoid a drinker and a smoker..just dont date one and dont marry one!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

...... I dont think so cos the Indian mindset is only looks of the girl matters and not the guys.......

May be, because 'udhyogam purusha lakshanam'! They don't need good looks! :dizzy:

And ........... No money; No honey!! :lol:

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

External appearance is deceptive!

Don't we find many guys clad in saffron robes wearing a big pottu do all kinds of 'leelA's! :hug:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

External appearance is deceptive!

Don't we find many guys clad in saffron robes wearing a big pottu do all kinds of 'leelA's! :hug:

Dear RR ji,

That is why observing body language gives better results.

 

[renuka]

May be, because 'udhyogam purusha lakshanam'! They don't need good looks! :dizzy:

And ........... No money; No honey!! :lol:

Dear RR ji,

Becos in those days women did not study much and did not go to work...so a husband's steady good earning job was the only source of income for home..hence the saying "udhyogam purusha lakshanam" but these days both husband and wife earn..so everything else also counts.

Like in old days it was thought that beautiful woman did not have brains but we know that its not true now..cos in yesteryears beautiful women were married off quickly becos everyone wanted a beautiful wife and so these beautiful women did not get chance to further their studies.

These days everyone goes to college and many beautiful women too hold top posts..in my college so many beautiful girls were doing MBBS and Dentistry..in fact there was also a girl from Bahrain who used to model for Vogue magazine before she joined MBBS.

Some of my classmates looked better than movie stars.

So these days guys need to match up at every possible angle!

 

[XLR8R]

I dunno, I hardly have any south Indian girls as friends anymore, let alone romantic interests. Iyer/Iyengar girl is a stretch for me, I'll go with what I find (probably some North Indian). I haven't noticed any such hangups like that described, at least not in well to do families. Gujarati (traditional!) families here often ask me if I would be interested in a Gujarati girl. I think most educated parents in modern cities look for a decent person who looks okay and respects culture and without bad habits, the rest all is highly secondary. I hope the same is true for south Indians too.

 

[biswa]

Hey Accelerator,
Welcome back. You wrote a very sound post.

But Gujju girls are not too good looking, dont you think? :boom:

 

[XLR8R]

biswa jee,

Good looks are subjective, one cannot make a blanket statement like that considering the rich diversity of India as a country. There are good looking and not so good looking people all over the country, however one cannot make looks as the sole and foremost criterion. In the end being a decent person matters much more than good looks. So I wouldn't mind an average looking decent gujarati vegetarian girl either.

P.S. subjectively I do think gujju girls are beautiful

 

[krish44]

biswa jee,

Good looks are subjective, one cannot make a blanket statement like that considering the rich diversity of India as a country. There are good looking and not so good looking people all over the country, however one cannot make looks as the sole and foremost criterion. In the end being a decent person matters much more than good looks. So I wouldn't mind an average looking decent gujarati vegetarian girl either.

P.S. subjectively I do think gujju girls are beautiful

XLRBR ji

IF you are a TB , go in for a TB .north based TBs are an excellent mix and very sought after. recently I met TB parents from Baroda. their daughter is clear . she wants only TB matches from north prefarably in gujarat North exposure makes them develop a liberal mindset which makes them wonderful matches.I should know I have some in my family.all punjabi boys in delhi chase them.lol

 

[tbs]

biswa jee,

Good looks are subjective, one cannot make a blanket statement like that considering the rich diversity of India as a country. There are good looking and not so good looking people all over the country, however one cannot make looks as the sole and foremost criterion. In the end being a decent person matters much more than good looks. So I wouldn't mind an average looking decent gujarati vegetarian girl either.

P.S. subjectively I do think gujju girls are beautiful

hi
i agreed....go to raas garba time....in gujarat/elsewhere....we can see beautiful gujju gals in navaratri rass garba dance...they

very traditional....their KAMAN DOKLA is very similar to our kanjeevaram idly...i know many guju gals...mostly vegetarians....

good looking too...i miss the chance many times....

 

[biswa]

XLRBR ji

IF you are a TB , go in for a TB .north based TBs are an excellent mix and very sought after. recently I met TB parents from Baroda. their daughter is clear . she wants only TB matches from north prefarably in gujarat North exposure makes them develop a liberal mindset which makes them wonderful matches.I should know I have some in my family.all punjabi boys in delhi chase them.lol

Excellent mix of what? I am curious.

As usually XLR8R ji gives very well-thought out diplomatic replies. I hope he is not "missing the chance" like TBS garu.

 

[XLR8R]

.all punjabi boys in delhi chase them.lol

Yes, I have seen this too. Subjectively speaking I have had a few girls after me, all of them North Indian/Bengali. At this time I am still studying so I am not giving this (relationship/love/marriage) a really serious thought yet (as I wish to retain focus on studies for now), but I am fine with whoever I find.

I hope he is not "missing the chance" like TBS garu.

There seems to be no dearth of chances, biswa sir, sometimes it is surprising and overwhelming. Especially with respect to Gujaratis and Bengalis.

their KAMAN DOKLA is very similar to our kanjeevaram idly...i know many guju gals...mostly vegetarians....

I like Gujarati food a lot, and interestingly many gujaratis like south Indian food a lot, at times I have sat at lunch with friends and I'd order Gujarati food and my gujju friends order south Indian food and everyone laughs at the "cross connection"

Food wise I feel very comfortable in this state and the abundance of pure vegetarian hotels is always an advantage.