• Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Dilemma - marriage between a Madhwa Brahmin boy and an Iyengar girl

cakoracandra

New member
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra
 

Lotusinsanskrit

Active member
Hope there won't be any problem as both of you are Brahmins and I have heard mostly madhwa Brahmins too follow Vaishnavism which may be even seen in Raghavendra Mutts.

Also following acharams I may feel both are very strict and may not be a problem.

So no need to worry and go ahead.
 

prasad1

Active member
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.
Good Luck. All you talk of is physical. All physical aspects change over a period of time. Both of you will evolve and work out a middle path. Marriage is an ongoing compromise. It will succeed if you are both committed to it. There are no magic bullets.
Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?
Remember that marriage is an ongoing project, even if all physical aspects are identical. I know of many marriages among identical upbringings. But you are adding some additional constraints. The family and society may not be as supportive and may wish you to fail. So be sure you are both committed to the union.

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.
If either one of you is not sure, that you will strive together against all things that life will throw at you, walk away.
But if both of you are committed to the union nothing can stop you.
Regards,
cakoracandra
Again wish you well.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra

Dear Cakoracandra..nice username.
Cakorabandhu shekhara is Lord Shiva and Cakora is a bird loved by Lord Shiva.

Anyway..the question " will a stable married life be possible?"

Well..who would have guessed that even oxygen would run short because of a pandemic?

The holy Kumbhamela became a super spreader of covid 19.

What does all these say?

We just do not know what will happen tomorrow.
This is the take home lesson for entire humanity.

So whats the answer to your question?

Well..we have the NOW..the Present..its up to you to feel confident of your choice and decision and at the same time you should be willing to face whatever ups and downs in life.

So if you are just in " like" stage and not " lovvu" yet...then your biomemory attachment to him is still in budding stages and its at this stage you either move forward in marriage or break off if you are having doubts.

But honestly, the forum is always full of people who say they cant find brides etc..here you both are Brahmins..surely you both can make it work if you want it to work.

Best of luck.

Cakora is a bird that is supposed to live on moonlight.
But life isnt about the moon and stars..its about how you light up your life.

Listen to this song..if the lyrics make you think of the person you " like"..then dear Cakora! You have found your Candra!

 
Last edited:

mskmoorthy

Active member
From Raghuveera Gadyam Balakandam 14
मैथिल नगर सुलोचना लोचन चकोर चन्द्र । जय जय ॥

Let your endeavors be victorious (जय जय ) - Let Lord Shri Rama bless you both. Wishing you the very best.
 

tbs

0
Dear Cakoracandra..nice username.
Cakorabandhu shekhara is Lord Shiva and Cakora is a bird loved by Lord Shiva.

Anyway..the question " will a stable married life be possible?"

Well..who would have guessed that even oxygen would run short because of a pandemic?

The holy Kumbhamela became a super spreader of covid 19.

What does all these say?

We just do not know what will happen tomorrow.
This is the take home lesson for entire humanity.

So whats the answer to your question?

Well..we have the NOW..the Present..its up to you to feel confident of your choice and decision and at the same time you should be willing to face whatever ups and downs in life.

So if you are just in " like" stage and not " lovvu" yet...then your biomemory attachment to him is still in budding stages and its at this stage you either move forward in marriage or break off if you are having doubts.

But honestly, the forum is always full of people who say they cant find brides etc..here you both are Brahmins..surely you both can make it work if you want it to work.

Best of luck.

Cakora is a bird that is supposed to live on moonlight.
But life isnt about the moon and stars..its about how you light up your life.

Listen to this song..if the lyrics make you think of the person you " like"..then dear Cakora! You have found your Candra!

hi doctor,


Well..we have the NOW..the Present..its up to you to feel confident of your choice and decision and at the same time you should be willing to face whatever ups and downs in life.

So if you are just in " like" stage and not " lovvu" yet...then your biomemory attachment to him is still in budding stages and its at this stage you either move forward in marriage or break off if you are having doubts.


nice analysis....nice reply too....as i expected like this...
 
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra
Hi cakoracandra,
You don't have to worry about your marrying the Madhva Brahmin boy for the following valid reasons:
1. You have taken only the first step to become a vaishnavite by the samasrayanam. You have to climb up the ladder's several steps yet.
2. Maadhwas are also Vaishnavites only. They subscribe to the Dwaita philosophy but accept only Vishnu as the God. So a Vaishnav marrying another Vaishnav does not call for any major change of faith.
So, go ahead and marry and live happily.
 
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra
You can make it all work if both of you stop emphasizing differences in sampradaya. You say that there are differences that bother both of you. Do you have any specifics? It is workable only if you can find a way to resolve what is already known as differences that bother you.
 

prasad1

Active member
I am going to digress from the thread.


I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life.

Why would you choose a non-Vaishnava Avatar name for you?

Cakorabandhu Shekhara is Lord Shiva and Cakora is a bird loved by Lord Shiva.

Does it say something about your faith?

Some of the interreligious successful marriages should tell you that compared to your minor differences in practice they overcame major hurdles.


Some more success stories:


By posting on a web forum your doubts, you show that you do not have faith in your judgment or the relationship. It takes a lot of guts and commitment to make a marriage successful. If you are not sure and are not strong, you should walk away.

Maybe you are not marriage material!!!!!!!

Secondly, you posted the thread and then never participated, does it mean that our suggestions and postings have no value to you.
 
I am going to digress from the thread.




Why would you choose a non-Vaishnava Avatar name for you?

Cakorabandhu Shekhara is Lord Shiva and Cakora is a bird loved by Lord Shiva.

Does it say something about your faith?

Some of the interreligious successful marriages should tell you that compared to your minor differences in practice they overcame major hurdles.


Some more success stories:


By posting on a web forum your doubts, you show that you do not have faith in your judgment or the relationship. It takes a lot of guts and commitment to make a marriage successful. If you are not sure and are not strong, you should walk away.

Maybe you are not marriage material!!!!!!!

Secondly, you posted the thread and then never participated, does it mean that our suggestions and postings have no value to you.
Cakorachandra is the name. It simply means Chandra which brings happiness to cakora. There is no Vishnu or Shiva brought in. Then why this questioning of the name and building up castle on shaky foundation?
 

renuka

Well-known member
Dear Prasad Ji and Vaagmi Ji...i had quoted Shiva Tandava Stotram where Cakora bandhu sekhara is used to describe that Shiva bears the moon which is the dear one to the Cakora bird that lives by drinking moonlight...and its because the moon is on the head of Shiva and the Cakora gets its supply of moonlight from Shiva hence Cakora is a bird that is dear to Shiva.

I can be quite sure if one hasnt read the Shiva Tandava Stotram this fact might not be known..so one might not know how the Cakora is dear to Shiva and also even if a Vaishnava does know that the Cakora likes the moon and might choose to be fine with it being linked to Shiva in the Shiva Tandava stotram or might just choose to see a bird as a bird.


I hope its clear..kindly do not let a beautiful poetic expression become a source of an argument.
 

tbs

0
hi ,

this is request from poster...read carefully....

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra

if we like to give kind answers will be OKAY....BETTER KEEP QUIET...
 

prasad1

Active member
Cakorachandra is the name. It simply means Chandra which brings happiness to cakora. There is no Vishnu or Shiva brought in. Then why this questioning of the name and building up castle on shaky foundation?
Before preaching read your post#7 above. You are the one who brought the Vaishnava sect in this thread.
You opened the door for my comment.

The original poster wears her sect and shows it off as if that makes the person. That brought the Vishnu sect into the equation.
 
Last edited:

prasad1

Active member
hi ,

this is request from poster...read carefully....

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra

if we like to give kind answers will be OKAY....BETTER KEEP QUIET...
If a patient went to a heart surgeon with heart failure and asked that doctor be gentle, should the doctor perform the required violent procedure to save the patient or just pat the back and send him home.
My answer was as gentle as the situation demanded.

Sometimes a dose of reality is needed.
TBSji before posting rude remarks, you should read it and see your own ego in it. I do accept that English is not our first language. So I will not comment on it.

TBSji you seem to read my intent and not my words. My post was not harsh by normal standards.

By the way, why are the Vaishnavites are up in arms defending fellow Vaishnavites, is that not selective?
If the original poster was a shiva sect, would you give similar advice?
 
Last edited:

prasad1

Active member
I prefer to ignore this childish comment.
My original comments would have been valid in all circumstances.

If the original post had been:

I "like" a Muslim Girl, while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

My comments are still valid, whereas your narrow-minded comments would fail the test. Your posts are below my contempt. But when you spout nonsense, someone has to point it out to you. Generally, for a smart, but ignorant person, one time is enough, but for you, it may not be enough.
 

tbs

0
If a patient went to a heart surgeon with heart failure and asked that doctor be gentle, should the doctor perform the required violent procedure to save the patient or just pat the back and send him home.
My answer was as gentle as the situation demanded.

Sometimes a dose of reality is needed.
TBSji before posting rude remarks, you should read it and see your own ego in it. I do accept that English is not our first language. So I will not comment on it.

TBSji you seem to read my intent and not my words. My post was not harsh by normal standards.

By the way, why are the Vaishnavites are up in arms defending fellow Vaishnavites, is that not selective?
If the original poster was a shiva sect, would you give similar advice?
I prefer to ignore this childish comment.
 
Good morning, folks,

I "like" a Madhwa Brahmin boy while I am a Sri Vaishnava who has taken Pancha Samskaram and wishes to follow Sri Vaishnavism for the rest of my life. He too is "interested" in me but these sampradaya differences have been bothering the both of us.

Will a stable married life between the both of us be possible?

Please don't be harsh. Your kind answers will be very much appreciated.

Regards,
cakoracandra
Every family has rich traditions and beliefs. Please don't spoil the peace. If you want to go to a family, merge with it. This will be good for children. Lovers never think about the fate of children when ideologies clash.

Ravindran R
 

ekaputra

Active member
We are Iyer and there have been 4 Iyengar and 2 Madhwa alliances in our family (my cousins) and there has been no problem. One or two aunts had their own prejudices against Kannada people. My cousins, quite discreetly, minimised contact between their spouses and these aunts to avert any unpleasant exchange or stupid offensive jokes/ remarks about a community. The marriages have lasted and many of them are happy grandparents.

Most of the time, the problem (if any) in intermarriage is not between husband and wife but has to do with the relatives on both sides.
 

tbs

0
We are Iyer and there have been 4 Iyengar and 2 Madhwa alliances in our family (my cousins) and there has been no problem. One or two aunts had their own prejudices against Kannada people. My cousins, quite discreetly, minimised contact between their spouses and these aunts to avert any unpleasant exchange or stupid offensive jokes/ remarks about a community. The marriages have lasted and many of them are happy grandparents.

Most of the time, the problem (if any) in intermarriage is not between husband and wife but has to do with the relatives on both sides.
hi sir,

Most of the time, the problem (if any) in intermarriage is not between husband and wife but has to do with the relatives on both sides.

i agreed....well said....this is very important part of marriage life...
 

renuka

Well-known member
It's so weird...it's a marriage between 2 Brahmins, 2 Hindus that too Brahmins that are from the Vaishnava sect, yet even before one wants to embark on marriage one sets their mind on failure.

At times it feels all the understanding of Vedanta is of no use.
Humans just can't go beyond their bodily identifications.
Shows that the only God we all worship is our Ahamkara and its various avatars of Mamaiva.

Om Ahamkaraaya Namah.(Salutations to the Ahamkara)
Om Mamaivaaya Namah.(Salutation to self centredness)
 

mangalam

Active member
As vaagmi said no big diff. between Vaishnava sects. So all the best to Cakoracandra.
I have an upcoming wedding combining Iyer and Madhwa brahmin. Let's see how it evolves.
I also looked up the name cakoracandra and it said "PirAtti is called “cakora candra” one who likes the cakora birds. So unlike the statement above Saagopan.org refers to Lakshmi not Shiva.

 
Top
Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.

I've Disabled AdBlock    No Thanks