Kula dheivam, finding my family deity have been a difficult task for me. Need Help

My Father says, It's Venkatachalapathy, but most says that Kuladheivam cant be Bigger gods, it will be nearby gods like Karupaswamy, and also my father side relatives are not of worth to speak and be in touch but they also say that Its Thirumalai, rest of my family relations have defined family Deity and my fam doesn't have one its some times frustrating. Is there a way we can find our Family Deity and also can a Iyer have Perumal as Family Deity, since there is mark like Iyengars only will have Lord Vishnu and Iyers its Lord Shiva, I strongly believe this Saivam and vainavam fight useless though. Any one who reads this Thread, please share your view and help me out.
 
Om namo Narayanaya.
Namo namah. Kuladeivam is a deity worshipped by your kula(m), your ancestors, for ages. Visiting kuladeivam frequently or once a year with family is very good to get the blessings of your ancestors and deity.
No issue at all, if you do not know your kuladeivam. Please note: (1) if you are a follower of Vaishnava Sampradaya then visit Lord Sri Ranganathar, Srirangam near Tiruchirapalli in Tamilnadu, and (2) if you are a Shiva follower then visit Lord Natarajar, Chidambaram, Tamilnadu.
Humble request to you & all, who wish to express their gratitude to their parents, great parents, and ancestors, and seek their blessings for timely marriage and having healthy children/progeny, visiting KULADEIVAM (if not Lord Ranganathar or Lord Natarajar, and if one believes that Hari & Shiva are the same then either of the two or both lords) is mandatory. Visit kuladeivam immediately after marriage and with newborn baby, etc for divine blessings. Matru devo bhava, pitru devo bhava... शुभं भूयात्।
 
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