P.J.
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A person says he will cut his daughter and throw her in the river if she falls in love with anyone!!
What a shame!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uVvc1MeUBA
What a shame!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uVvc1MeUBA
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Is this called Caste Veri?
- Thread starter P.J.
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Nara
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Haven't we seen the same mindset displayed here so forcefully and with pride? The difference of course is this particular jAti nutcase at least said at the end he will change his outlook.....
OP
OP
P.J.
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Nara Sir
He wanted to give a message to his daughter, he had done this!! Agree with you that there are many with the same mind set.
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The father lost his power to think and hope would have recovered his wisdom now. The learned people, saints, sages and swamis, philosophers, etc. have not reached all corners of the land!
OP
OP
P.J.
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Raji Ram
Active member
You have seen this video very late, P J Sir! There was a hue and cry soon after this show, all over Tamil Nadu
because many of us watch this program without fail! That guy wanted to show off that he was a brave father
who would do the 'honor killing'! I guess he might be 'veettulE eli; veLiyilE puli'!
sangom
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Shri PJ,
It is not so much caste-veRi, but the right of a parent (father) over the marriage of their off-springs. We have many members here who tend to eulogize the traditions. Even the "deivatthin kural" possibly endorses the parental rights over their children. Hence, not only for this person in the 'NeeyA NAnA' episode, but for many people all over India, such a right exists. You can see the honour killings in Haryana, UP and Punjab etc. which also reflect the same traditional life style in India.
The problem with us -mostly very affluent tabras who flit between the foreign countries where our children live their western life styles, and short stays among similarly placed people in India, when we deign to come back home for short periods - is that we are "living in the clouds" to a great extent and do not know or realize the true smell of this country's rural life, its 'smell of the soil' (மண் வாசனை). The poorest sections live in a very different world and such honour killings is the best achievement of a father (parent) there, in the eyes of the society/caste of which he forms a constituent, just the same way as making one's daughter into an engineer or doctor and seeing her settled down in luxury abroad is the sign of achievement of parents in this "cloud circle" of ours.
Such conditions - like the father killing the daughter etc. - will take a long time to get eradicated from India, i.e., until all people get into the "living in the clouds" status. So my suggestion is that let us note these incidents/news items, but let us not scoff at these without realizing the ground realities especially when our powers are limited to mere scoffing.
OP
OP
P.J.
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Although Indians are living in Far of Lands they are much aware of its 'smell of the soil' (மண் வாசனை) than those who live here in India.
It is like people staying near the Temple very seldom visit them.
Those live in Foreign countries read more about India and current affair; the purpose of my posting this op is not that I am not aware of 'these Caste Veri'; it is there throughout India in one form or the other, just show how a father could be most arrogant when dealing with his own daughter.
Honor Killings in many parts of India is well reported in many Newspapers, and those who live outside India are well aware of it.
Nowadays, going and living in foreign country is not the exclusive privilege of affluent *******, it is possible for everyone when one of their son or daughter is living and working there; many non ******* parents also opt for Green Card and Citizenship.
It is like people staying near the Temple very seldom visit them.
Those live in Foreign countries read more about India and current affair; the purpose of my posting this op is not that I am not aware of 'these Caste Veri'; it is there throughout India in one form or the other, just show how a father could be most arrogant when dealing with his own daughter.
Honor Killings in many parts of India is well reported in many Newspapers, and those who live outside India are well aware of it.
Nowadays, going and living in foreign country is not the exclusive privilege of affluent *******, it is possible for everyone when one of their son or daughter is living and working there; many non ******* parents also opt for Green Card and Citizenship.
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Dear All, It is saddening to read the utterance of a Father about her own daughter. In some cases when girls fall in Love with anyone for no rhyme or reason , the parents think first about the girl whom they have brought up with all Love suddenly comes up with a Boomerange, it rattles the parents beyond imagination. It is the Boy who must have coxed her to that extent she falls for him because they spend more time in the office more than in the house. In many cases the girl will not, I repeat will not be knowing the boy;s family & their position ? One has to conclude It is undoubtedly INFATUATION for the Boy & plans her way as to how to get him married Both have ample opportunity to plan & counter plan as resistance would be expected in all such cases. The Girl never confide even to her Mother in time before she even has an inkling for the Boy & vice-versa.
What I am wanting to convey is that girls, of late teens even loose their control of mind & after the boy is persisting , may be Black-mailing at some stage , she surprises her Father to an extent of Life Or Death ? The Father may have no alternative to bark out to the so far loving Girl , the way ==brought out by our member .
We , Brahmins & the Families feel proud about traditional upbringing of girls atleast upto the marriage, parents are shaken like areal Earth Quake , not knowing what to do ? ( Only those who might have had the predicament can feel life long/ irreversible PAIN ? I will compare such situation occuring in our midst , to sudden disclosure of CANCER to any one in the family & the whole family is Shattered beyond imagination & can any one help ? I say emphatic NO in both the cases. We can only Pray to the Almighty since
all parents with minor exception believe in the Supreme, by their own experiences in the course of decades of lives.
Sincerely
Rishikesan
What I am wanting to convey is that girls, of late teens even loose their control of mind & after the boy is persisting , may be Black-mailing at some stage , she surprises her Father to an extent of Life Or Death ? The Father may have no alternative to bark out to the so far loving Girl , the way ==brought out by our member .
We , Brahmins & the Families feel proud about traditional upbringing of girls atleast upto the marriage, parents are shaken like areal Earth Quake , not knowing what to do ? ( Only those who might have had the predicament can feel life long/ irreversible PAIN ? I will compare such situation occuring in our midst , to sudden disclosure of CANCER to any one in the family & the whole family is Shattered beyond imagination & can any one help ? I say emphatic NO in both the cases. We can only Pray to the Almighty since
all parents with minor exception believe in the Supreme, by their own experiences in the course of decades of lives.
Sincerely
Rishikesan
Ref Post # 11
How true that the Girl whom you have raised for 20+ years suddenly deciding to fly away based on a six months of interaction with an unknown boy?
Are the parents not willing to marry her?
Are the parents poor that they cannot conduct marriage of their daughter?
Are the parents saying that they will not find an educated , well employed & wealthy boy for their daughter?
Are we talking of large families of 4 daughters and 2 sons that the girl can be married only after all her elder 3sisters & 1 elder son is married
If the answer is No to all of these & the girl may be a single girl child or born with 1 sister or brother suddenly deciding to marry against wishes of every one in the family to a stranger it means that our girls have become so independent and audacious that they will care 2 hoots for our culture and tradition!
How true that the Girl whom you have raised for 20+ years suddenly deciding to fly away based on a six months of interaction with an unknown boy?
Are the parents not willing to marry her?
Are the parents poor that they cannot conduct marriage of their daughter?
Are the parents saying that they will not find an educated , well employed & wealthy boy for their daughter?
Are we talking of large families of 4 daughters and 2 sons that the girl can be married only after all her elder 3sisters & 1 elder son is married
If the answer is No to all of these & the girl may be a single girl child or born with 1 sister or brother suddenly deciding to marry against wishes of every one in the family to a stranger it means that our girls have become so independent and audacious that they will care 2 hoots for our culture and tradition!
OP
OP
P.J.
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Children nowadays think differently;( not all)
They think that they can make their own decision on any matter including choosing the right partner; their perception about parents knowledge on various matters is very low as they grow from childhood to adolescent age; again once they cross the age of 35-40, they look back and appreciate the wisdom of their parents on many matters; but then it was too late to have any effect on their personal life.
The Love at very young age while doing school, or college is basically infatuation, which will not long last; love at higher level of age , is based on many factors which may also end up in separation.
I am not saying that parents should take control of their chilldren's future, at best they can give guidance to them on many matters based on their experience; even arranged marriages are broken at a later stage nowadays, because of intolerance and lack of understanding.
One thing parents should realize is that their children are not their Property, they have a duty to bring them up to lead their life in the best possible way.
Children on their part should respect their parents and take guidance in all matters including choosing their life partner.
They think that they can make their own decision on any matter including choosing the right partner; their perception about parents knowledge on various matters is very low as they grow from childhood to adolescent age; again once they cross the age of 35-40, they look back and appreciate the wisdom of their parents on many matters; but then it was too late to have any effect on their personal life.
The Love at very young age while doing school, or college is basically infatuation, which will not long last; love at higher level of age , is based on many factors which may also end up in separation.
I am not saying that parents should take control of their chilldren's future, at best they can give guidance to them on many matters based on their experience; even arranged marriages are broken at a later stage nowadays, because of intolerance and lack of understanding.
One thing parents should realize is that their children are not their Property, they have a duty to bring them up to lead their life in the best possible way.
Children on their part should respect their parents and take guidance in all matters including choosing their life partner.
Dear All, The above comments are all relevant & pointing to the girls who care 2 hoots for their parents ? We can only appeal. The girls , if they choose to listen to parents & would only choose Brahmin Boy who can be of any southern state, all would heartily welcome, I mean , the entire Brahmin community. According to my experience of 5 decades , I vouch safe that people of our lot are by & large very accommodative/ submissive & love their children more so their Grand sons/ daughters , & it is a fact that grand parents invariably rush to help those children in U.S. most willingly, In the same breadth I wish to mention that these grand parents would feel delicate & even out of place , despite the daughter gives a most admirable certificate. All Brahmin girls should realise that in PRACTICAL life it is the entire family that has to enjoy in all the small & big functions with all their Heart & not have artificial behavior--- which I am sure none of us are capable of acting, though it directly concerns your own Blood ?
Sincerely,
Rishkesan
Sincerely,
Rishkesan
In these days there will be somebody killing somebody. They were there before, are today and will be there tomorrow. The murderer and the murdered will soon be forgotten. But people start beating around bush. What has not happened before! People on the middle path will go on walking watching the tragedies on both sides - tradition and modern.
This is just veri which raises its head when the ego of the man is shaken. Caste is just an excuse, just like any other - money, property, chauvinism etc.
I do not think that the title fits...
As a responsible parent one is really alarmed at the developments. This being the hype created by the media and latest technology trends lure the young ones and they are forced to tread this path which evenutually is fatal for many.
I am not against IC or IR marriage but there should be a soul searching and maturity in the bond between the couples. Just due to the immaturity and for the fun of it youngsters tend to fail in their choice due to immaturity...
The better solution would be to be frank and honest communication with your dear ones and always approach the issue with an OPEN mind!
I am not against IC or IR marriage but there should be a soul searching and maturity in the bond between the couples. Just due to the immaturity and for the fun of it youngsters tend to fail in their choice due to immaturity...
The better solution would be to be frank and honest communication with your dear ones and always approach the issue with an OPEN mind!
Dear Mr Iyyarooraan, In the last few days I tried to send reply to your Yahoo mail but it is returned. If you do not mind send Mail to :- [email protected] or preferably talk over Ph (044) 24806871. I refer to your request on the Marriage of your 2 Sons/daughters?
Sincerely,
Rishikesan/ A. Srinivasan
Sincerely,
Rishikesan/ A. Srinivasan
Vaagmi
0
There is no use being wishy washy about our position on this issue.
1. Bring up the children teaching them values and culture which are unique to brahmins.
2. Spend a lot of time with children if they are young. Fathers will be failing in their duty if they spend little time with their children because of their busy work life.
3. When the child comes to age try to find a suitable match early and celebrate the marriage. Dont postpone and never reject a match because the astrologer says it is not matching. Keep away from astrologers until the marriage is fixed. The astrologers should share half the blame for marriages not happening at the right time. They know very little about astrology and waste a lot of time analysing and writing a thesis about every horoscope that they lay their hands on.
4. If the child wants to marry from outside the caste oppose it stiffly. If inspite of your opposition if the child decide to go its way, just forget the child and write him/her off. Never never allow the child to get back into your family because your younger children are watching and they will get a wrong message.
5. If the wayward child was one among other children you can forget the child as not born to you and if it is the only child you can live the rest of your life without the child.
IC/IR marriages are poisonous and are to be avoided carefully. This has nothing to do with caste veri. You can be a loving teacher and even finance the education of one or two poor dalit boys as my father did. But marriage is much more serious. There are limits.
1. Bring up the children teaching them values and culture which are unique to brahmins.
2. Spend a lot of time with children if they are young. Fathers will be failing in their duty if they spend little time with their children because of their busy work life.
3. When the child comes to age try to find a suitable match early and celebrate the marriage. Dont postpone and never reject a match because the astrologer says it is not matching. Keep away from astrologers until the marriage is fixed. The astrologers should share half the blame for marriages not happening at the right time. They know very little about astrology and waste a lot of time analysing and writing a thesis about every horoscope that they lay their hands on.
4. If the child wants to marry from outside the caste oppose it stiffly. If inspite of your opposition if the child decide to go its way, just forget the child and write him/her off. Never never allow the child to get back into your family because your younger children are watching and they will get a wrong message.
5. If the wayward child was one among other children you can forget the child as not born to you and if it is the only child you can live the rest of your life without the child.
IC/IR marriages are poisonous and are to be avoided carefully. This has nothing to do with caste veri. You can be a loving teacher and even finance the education of one or two poor dalit boys as my father did. But marriage is much more serious. There are limits.
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N
Nara
Guest
This is the exact same சாதி வெறி mentality the OP highlighted in the video clip. Sad indeed for the family. But these are extreme outliers, as the center continues to shift the tail of the normal curve will become thinner and thinner ...
dear nara,
i have found over the past 40+ years in canada, that it is easier to mouth off advice and behave quite differently when it comes to one's own family.
there is this 'prominent' tambram to whom certain many folks pay their obeisance at any public gathering. his adivce and critique to marriages of the children was very much similar to what you have referred to in your post. except...
except when it came to his own children, and when they both married IR, overnight, everyone in the world became brothers and sisters. and the people who mistreated their children based on this guy's advice, i guess, felt like fools or worse.
nothing like to know one's true colours, when something one abhors, happens in one's own family. i guess.
Vaagmi
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What I wrote is for the brahmins of India. The videshi brahmins have their own compulsions and influences acting on them. A Nara or another videshi brahmin living in a distant land need not tell us here in India about what is good for us. They can keep their counsel to themselves and follow it in letter and spirit. The brahmin girls and boys living in India still have the option to choose from brahmin boys and girls who cherish brahmin way of life. We in India will say the same -"sad indeed for the family and particularly for the youngsters". These are people who are lost to an alien culture. Sad indeed.
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