Is swearing ok?

[biswa]

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Is using swear words gradually becoming accepted in the Brahmin community? It seems the younger generation tend to use these words quite casually. Don't the elders cringe when the hear them? Don't they chastise the young? Or should we just consider this a natural evolution of language?

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I find that movies influence a lot and there is swearing so much in the movies in all language films in India, the kids think it is the fashion statement or just "COOL" which is not totally acceptable..

Whether it is brahmin community or otherwise, why should society allow the future generation to be foul mouthed.. I think the whole society has to work together in slowly reversing it..

I for one, never liked to swear and also never let my children do it, at least they never did when they were growing up.. specially here, there are some who swear for no reason.. My children I am sure do to express frustration but they catch themselves before me and they know that I would take them to task, they have that much respect I am thankful for that.. of course they are much older now.

 

[prasad1]

I guess the norms change over a period of time. I am still not very comfortable in the company of people using swear or vulgar language. I do not know if movies influence us or we influence the writers.

 

[biswa]

Yes, you are right. I see a lot of casual swearing in the movies and it disturbs me. But I also see a lot of "prohibited" words in blogs, forums and twitter feeds. Have people become so desensitised?

You are also right about the so called cool factor. I even see educated, middle-aged bloggers do that, even if in abbreviated form. I think it shows a lack of culture. I am glad that you have taken your kids to task and we do that as well (not that my son really swears). But it is better to set high expectations and nip it in the bud!

Of course in certain languages, swearing seems to come naturally, but they are probably not in the purview of this forum!

 

[renuka]

I always update my swear words knowledge.I never want to be left behind cos we dont know when it will come in handy.
When I was studying in India I made it a point to learn every possible Indian language swear words.
So I can happily say that I acquired lots of new swear words when I was in India and I also taught my friends there some Malay and Chinese swear words.
Cos knowledge is to be shared, I always believe in sharing.

Its no harm just getting info..we dont have to use it but at least we are aware what goes on.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I always update my swear words knowledge.I never want to be left behind cos we dont know when it will come in handy.
When I was studying in India I made it a point to learn every possible Indian language swear words.
So I can happily say that I acquired lots of new swear words when I was in India and I also taught my friends there some Malay and Chinese swear words.
Cos knowledge is to be shared, I always believe in sharing.

Its no harm just getting info..we dont have to use it but at least we are aware what goes on.

I can fully understand that you preferred to learn them, it is sort of survival skills specially with ragging at Med schools etc.. but somehow, it just irks me.. I am not trying to be Ms. perfect, but I let go a lot of things, and excuse a lot but when it comes to swearing or words spilled in rage I will not tolerate, of course, I can only be strict with my children when they were growing up.. but dealing with others.. I had to become Bhumadevi's grandmother.. ) that patience I had developed since I was about 4 years old did help me a lot..

 

[renuka]

I can fully understand that you preferred to learn them, it is sort of survival skills specially with ragging at Med schools etc.. but somehow, it just irks me.. I am not trying to be Ms. perfect, but I let go a lot of things, and excuse a lot but when it comes to swearing or words spilled in rage I will not tolerate, of course, I can only be strict with my children when they were growing up.. but dealing with others.. I had to become Bhumadevi's grandmother.. ) that patience I had developed since I was about 4 years old did help me a lot..

You know Bushu,

At med school I was not ragged and neither did I rag anyone.Some seniors tried to rag me but I just shut the door on their faces and went back to sleep.Believe me I was scared to be ragged so I just acted as if I was not scared of them and closed the door on their faces.
Anyway in Manipal college is very strict about raging.If anyone complains the person who rags will get suspended.

I hate the culture of raging cos when we enter college life we are away from home and most of us are sort of mildly depressed and the last thing we need is someone ragging us.

Ragging is absolutely a waste of time and I never ever bothered my juniors and if they wanted help I always helped them.
When I was an intern I had a junior TB girl as my roommate.
One night I woke up and saw her reading with the table lamp with all room lights off cos she wanted to study and didnt want to disturb me by switching on the light.

I told her she can switch on the room light and study and I wont mind cos I can sleep under any condition.Why bully a young girl yaar..poor things they are.

BTW Bushu my cousin just came back from India (Tamil Nadu) and she was saying that her cab driver got into a fight with some other cab driver and exchanged blows and she was saying they were fighting with full power packed swear words.I was laughing hearing what she related to me.
It was simply out of this world.
My cousin said she was shocked to hear such words.(My cousin is innocent types she will turn red when anyone uses swear words.)


BTW Bushu..the new trend of swear words today is to form an Acronym.
Me and my nurses have coined a few when we want to swear about anyone or any situation we dont fancy!!!

For example YMCA is one such acronym we have coined(but its in Chinese)
anyone hearing it will think we are talking about Young Men Christian Association.
Get it? So no one knows we are swearing.Always say it in a polite voice.LOL!!

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I am laughing at your experience.. I know it can be so much fun in college, mine was not fun at all and moreover i had to quit.. no fun I do understand, many Tamil Brahmins are not used to that kind of language, and we do cringe..I was so shy to use many words, which are not all that bad in today's world.. but again now nothing shocks me.. I have seen the world in in its worst form and I have nothing but sympathy and sadness for all that have not evolved..

Back to the subject, I know it has become the norm for some, but again, who are we to judge... anyway, have to serve dinner, will be back in a few..

by the way, I like your style of writing you just bring your words like a movie in my head.. good job kiddo..

 

[C RAVI]

think it shows a lack of culture. I am glad that you have taken your kids to task and we do that as well (not that my son really swears). But it is better to set high expectations and nip it in the bud!

Of course in certain languages, swearing seems to come naturally, but they are probably not in the purview of this forum!

You are right. A person who uses swear words and that's his/her casual habit, reflects his/her culture. It also reveals the way they been brought up OR the way they were least bothered of what they been tought at home by their parents, after been grown up.

I feel extremely disguisted as well when girls and boys use swear words against opposite gender..

In Delhi, present time girls even show middle finger to boys.

Some boys think that using swear word is a fashion and would show how well one has updated himself to cope with the so called COOL social interations.

Some girls think on the same lines as guys. As well, they think, this way they are courageous and are defending themselves perfectly.


Using swear words also reflects one's absolute lack of patience and control over anger. Such usage of filthy language makes them feel happy, contented, ego massaging for self and gives them a feel that they are the winners.

 

[renuka]

Dear Ravi,

You wrote :

In Delhi, present times girls even show middle finger to boys.

Present times?LOL.. way back in 1990 we girls we already good with this but only to the boys we liked and who were our dear and close friends not to every Tom,Dick and Harry.

I dont like swearing aloud especially now..its dangerous cos anyone can be recording us with their mobile phones and also its not safe to be using the silent mode of swear words(by hand gestures) cos we stand the risk of being recorded again.

Hey Ravi..dont tell me among your close friends you havent used even 1 swear word in your life??
Ok in that case I dont think you will enjoy Bhag Bhag DK Bose song as much as I do.LOL!!!

 

[renuka]

Just for info purposes:

Evolution of "normal"words to semi swear words.


When I first heard the word Kasmalam in movies..it was always used in semi swearing situations with angry and harsh voice tones.

But the actual meaning is of Sanskrit origin meaning Impurity.It is used in Chapter 2 Stanza 2 Bhagavad Geeta.

So its not really a semi swear word..its just how we use it wrongly.

So in that case is any word really a swear word? May be its our perception that its bad.

 

[sarang]

KaLavum katru maRa

I always update my swear words knowledge.I never want to be left behind cos we dont know when it will come in handy.
When I was studying in India I made it a point to learn every possible Indian language swear words.
So I can happily say that I acquired lots of new swear words when I was in India and I also taught my friends there some Malay and Chinese swear words.
Cos knowledge is to be shared, I always believe in sharing.

Its no harm just getting info..we dont have to use it but at least we are aware what goes on.

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Renuka,

My replies in Blue.....

Dear Ravi,

You wrote :

Present times?LOL.. way back in 1990 we girls we already good with this but only to the boys we liked and who were our dear and close friends not to every Tom,Dick and Harry.

Hmmm....I was talking about present times girls showing middle finger to every Tom, Dick and Harry....


I dont like swearing aloud especially now..its dangerous cos anyone can be recording us with their mobile phones and also its not safe to be using the silent mode of swear words(by hand gestures) cos we stand the risk of being recorded again.

See, as far as I am concerned, avoiding the usage of swear words or such words by hand gestures are all not to safegourd myself fromt he risk of being recorded. It is something to do with inner self most importantly, other than throwing on others.

Hey Ravi..dont tell me among your close friends you havent used even 1 swear word in your life??
Ok in that case I dont think you will enjoy Bhag Bhag DK Bose song as much as I do.LOL!!!

Yes, even among my friends, I haven't used even 1 swear word any time. I object guys even from calling me "Machchaan" (மச்சான்).

It is all about one's habbit in their communication. For many people it's quite normal and noting wrong in it. For many it's too negative, a filthy language that gives a sense of awkwardness..

All I use in extreme cases is - மெண்டல், லூசு, முட்டாள், பைத்தியக்காரன் / பைத்தியக்காரி, கேன பைய்ய ....

 

[renuka]

KaLavum katru maRa

Ya just learn and forget it but actually nothing is forgotten.Its all stored in our mind.

 

[renuka]

Dear Ravi,

You wrote:

All I use in extreme cases is - மெண்டல், லூசு, முட்டாள், பைத்தியக்காரன் / பைத்தியக்காரி, கேன பைய்ய ....

Really??wow you are too good to be true.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Never swear
It is bad to hear
And that is not why God gave us ear.
Till we are here
We should adhere
To politeness everywhere.

I think one who swears is inherently weak. He/she has got the fear of losing the argument or the situation. That is why one resorts to swearing. It is largely to do with one's upbringing too.

 

[renuka]

Never swear
It is bad to hear
And that is not God gave us ear.
Till we are here
We should adhere
To politeness everywhere.

I think one who swears is inherently weak. He/she has got the fear of losing the argument or the situation. That is why one resorts to swearing. It is largely to do with one's upbringing too.

Not all the while its up bringing..some parents are epitome of virtue( and bring up kids with virtues) but kids turn out like an epicenter of an earthquake.

BTW Haridas...I am going to SWEAR now!!! Read this:

John Michael Montgomery - I Swear lyrics

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
and I swear like the shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cause I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

Chorus
And I swear by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when (and when) just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse (better or worse)
Till death do us part I'll love you
With every single beat of my heart
I swear I swear I swear

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I said, "it is largely due to one's upbringing" and not "only due to upbringing". Btw, upbringing is, inter alia, to watch the behaviour of kids and be an example of "good" people. I can't believe that one can be "influenced" by movies. Are people that weak?

Thanks, Renu for the "swearing" :kiss:lyrics

 

[amala]

Hey Renu what is YMCA. To be honest i dont know any swear words in other languages at all. Only in good ol' English

 

[renuka]

Hey Renu what is YMCA. To be honest i dont know any swear words in other languages at all. Only in good ol' English

Apa lah you!! You buat apa kat sekolah?Budak-budak Cina tak ajar awak ke?
Ini teruk punya maksud..mana boleh tulis sini nanti semua orang kat sini pengsan.Saya terlalu jauh untuk buat CPR.
Nanti saya e mail you Ok.

(What were you doing in school? Didnt the chinese boys/girls teach you?
Its not a good meaning..I cant write it here otherwise many here will faint and I am too far to render CPR.I will e mail you Ok!)

 

[amala]

Saya budak baik di sekolah tapi saya tahu sei pat poh dan cheesin

(I was a good girl at school but i know some Chinese bad words )

 

[biswa]

Dear Ravi,

You wrote :

Present times?LOL.. way back in 1990 we girls we already good with this but only to the boys we liked and who were our dear and close friends not to every Tom,Dick and Harry.

I dont like swearing aloud especially now..its dangerous cos anyone can be recording us with their mobile phones and also its not safe to be using the silent mode of swear words(by hand gestures) cos we stand the risk of being recorded again.

Hey Ravi..dont tell me among your close friends you havent used even 1 swear word in your life??
Ok in that case I dont think you will enjoy Bhag Bhag DK Bose song as much as I do.LOL!!!

Ok Renuka, what line will you take with your kid? Suppose (hypothetically) he uses some defamatory word against women?

 

[biswa]

Never swear
It is bad to hear
And that is not why God gave us ear.
Till we are here
We should adhere
To politeness everywhere.

I think one who swears is inherently weak. He/she has got the fear of losing the argument or the situation. That is why one resorts to swearing. It is largely to do with one's upbringing too.

Agree, Mr Haridasa. I think it is a sign of defeat and weakness.

 

[valli]

Dear Ravi

I feel compelled to write this after seeing your post.

Yes, even among my friends, I haven't used even 1 swear word any time. I object guys even from calling me "Machchaan" (மச்சான்).

மெண்டல், லூசு, முட்டாள், பைத்தியக்காரன் / பைத்தியக்காரி, கேன பைய்ய ....

So you object guys calling you as 'machan' but you use the words 'mental, loosu' and worse 'Keenap paiya'?

Ravi, 'Machan' is the word used to refer to one's younger sister's husband or the elder and older brother of one's wife (ofcourse nonbrahmin term with which brahmins are not used to!). So, Ravi, what do you find offensive or indecent in that term??

Alright, now, brahmins call their wife's younger brother by the name and also the older brother. Then, they call the younger sister's husband (depending on whether he is yonger or older) as 'Mappillai' or 'Aththimber'. I know that.

How come 'Machan' is any way bad word? Atleast comparing to your usage of 'Keenappayan'??

Ravi, sorry to say this, but this is the truth! This is how "brahmins" are brought up to think! That even calling one as 'Macchan' is a swering word! What about 'Mama'??

P.S. Here 'brought up' does not necessarily and only mean to be brought up by the parents. It is brought up in a brahmin culture, society, friends circle etc etc.


Kind regards

 

[renuka]

Ok Renuka, what line will you take with your kid? Suppose (hypothetically) he uses some defamatory word against women?

Biswa,

Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.I have seen some girls these days who really know how to anger and ridicule a boy and then when the boy gets mad with them and start swearing at them they run to the teacher and complain that the boy is swearing at them.These girls themselves swear at boys but the teacher will only believe a boy and girls go free scott free.
I have seen many cases like this..so these days even girls are no more innocent.
So if my son ever uses any word like what you had mentioned..1st i will ask him does he fully know the meaning.
If he doesnt know..I will tell him the meaning and explain to him why its bad to use such words.
I will tell him if he gets mad with anyone..never to use any such words cos the greatest risk is being recorded by mobile phones and used as evidence againts anyone.

Dont get me wrong..dont think I encourage such use of words but I 1st have to make sure the kid doesnt land in any major problem.

But I will surely tell him the ill effects of such language and tell him see "even though your Amma knows lots more to you..your Amma still doesnt use it cos its not good to use swear words"

See Biswa we can sing about celibacy and not even tell our kids about risk of getting any infection..so when my kids comes of age I will surely educate him on the risk of unprotected sex and tell him that its better to be celibate before marriage but if you really cant avoid it then practise safe sex.Not that I am encouraging pre marital sex but children need to know about the risk of consequences of unprotected sex.
Its not that becos he is a boy that I am going to tell him about safe sex eventually.Even if I had a daughter my thinking will be the same.
In fact boys stand a higher chance to be blamed these days for anything cos girls can always cry and claim to be innocent.
Times have changed Biswa..I have seen some many cases where girls blame the wrong guy for making them pregnant and then DNA proves otherwise.

As parents we have to think of every angle when we handle children.
Most cases of HIV and unwanted pregnancy is purely due to ignorance and not uncontrolled sexual desire.
As a doctor I cant really morally judge anyone.Prevention is better than cure no doubt.