Today I see a growing number of people in this community chosing this route and especially women (many eloping sadly). I recently had an oppurtuniy to meet one and since I knew her well I asked her about her life post marriage ( she eloped ).
Tears rolled her eyes immediately. She told me , that she only saw the person NOT his family and it was indeed a big mistake. She also poured down the misery that she is suffering owing to the differences in the way of life in her husband's home. She has a daughter today, and she told me that , she realizes how her parent's would have felt when she had taken an important decision in life without their consent.
This is only a superficial and an atomistic case but a deeper delving into this phenomenon of loving and eloping puts in certain shocking things in perspective.
Today I know close to 8 women eloping ( 2 from my 'in-laws' family) in the last 3 years, all belonging to this community. In so far as men are considered there are 2. Today but for 1 all other women are suffering , in the case of men it has indeed been normal( no conclusions be drawn).
Why women eloped , was my basic question seeing their post marital situation?
1) FATHER
Fathers play a very important role in the life of their daughters, but often they don't realise this, I think, in the midst of their pre-occupations.Of the 8 women , one was fatherless and had a brother in US.
In all other cases I saw the father's playing a "Manmohan Singh role" in their families or being "Circus ring masters". When such extreme roles are played the daughter's either gets down to 'negetive influences' soon or when they find a male outside friendly , they elope.
2)MOTHER
In families wherein the mother have a 'negetive' dominance the daughters have eloped. Mothers play a very important role in the morality of the family esp the sons. Their influence on the daughter however is primarily indirect (it is not thought delibrately it is through their living )and depends upon their relationship with the father.
In all almost all cases I saw mothers divorcing themselves of their bonding role and behaving totally careless.
3)MATRIMONY
Of the 8 women 3 had indeed gone through the processes of a formal matrimony. After the process breaking down 2-3 times for each in the middle they got fed up and eloped. One even told me that the " rejection" got her to think rebelliously. I frankly don't know as to what can be done in this front, may be 'process break downs' be looked UPON more objectively and for good. Even my sister had her way only after 3 break downs.
I conclude saying that this "Social Problem" should be talked about and an intense awareness be created. I wish many share their views and incidents.
Individual rights to chose a partner must be respected, but this must not be born of as an negetive thought flow due to economic independence or arrogance or reactionary tendencies or carelessness.
LET A TRANSCENDING BROTHERHOOD PREVAIL
Tears rolled her eyes immediately. She told me , that she only saw the person NOT his family and it was indeed a big mistake. She also poured down the misery that she is suffering owing to the differences in the way of life in her husband's home. She has a daughter today, and she told me that , she realizes how her parent's would have felt when she had taken an important decision in life without their consent.
This is only a superficial and an atomistic case but a deeper delving into this phenomenon of loving and eloping puts in certain shocking things in perspective.
Today I know close to 8 women eloping ( 2 from my 'in-laws' family) in the last 3 years, all belonging to this community. In so far as men are considered there are 2. Today but for 1 all other women are suffering , in the case of men it has indeed been normal( no conclusions be drawn).
Why women eloped , was my basic question seeing their post marital situation?
1) FATHER
Fathers play a very important role in the life of their daughters, but often they don't realise this, I think, in the midst of their pre-occupations.Of the 8 women , one was fatherless and had a brother in US.
In all other cases I saw the father's playing a "Manmohan Singh role" in their families or being "Circus ring masters". When such extreme roles are played the daughter's either gets down to 'negetive influences' soon or when they find a male outside friendly , they elope.
2)MOTHER
In families wherein the mother have a 'negetive' dominance the daughters have eloped. Mothers play a very important role in the morality of the family esp the sons. Their influence on the daughter however is primarily indirect (it is not thought delibrately it is through their living )and depends upon their relationship with the father.
In all almost all cases I saw mothers divorcing themselves of their bonding role and behaving totally careless.
3)MATRIMONY
Of the 8 women 3 had indeed gone through the processes of a formal matrimony. After the process breaking down 2-3 times for each in the middle they got fed up and eloped. One even told me that the " rejection" got her to think rebelliously. I frankly don't know as to what can be done in this front, may be 'process break downs' be looked UPON more objectively and for good. Even my sister had her way only after 3 break downs.
I conclude saying that this "Social Problem" should be talked about and an intense awareness be created. I wish many share their views and incidents.
Individual rights to chose a partner must be respected, but this must not be born of as an negetive thought flow due to economic independence or arrogance or reactionary tendencies or carelessness.
LET A TRANSCENDING BROTHERHOOD PREVAIL