This is a problem in most families. Please talk to elders in your family - cousins, uncles, aunts. You will get leads. Think about your childhood. Think about any pooja that your parents performed. Any stray conversation in your family that you are able to recall might help. Believe me - if you really want to know your kula deivam, you will achieve success in your mission provided you take efforts. Visit your ancestral village - you might get leads. There was a similar confusion in our family. But luckily my father clarified that Tirumala Lord Venkatachalapathy is our kula deivam. My grandfather was a great devotee of Lord Balaji and my father imbibed this trait.
In most families, sastha is the kula deivam (particularly Tirunelveli/ Tanjore side) - I am sorry if this looks like generalization. But sastha has been the main protector for families in those days. Sastha has the amsam of Lord Shiva and Lord Balaji.
One of my cousins did not know his kula deivam. But once he found out, he did all that was possible and today his family is doing exceptionally well. Have faith and you will achieve what you desire. All the best!
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