How To Find A Match For Marriage

[krish44]

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I am in chennai now and heard three instances of brahmin girls (iyer) with non brahmin and non south indian husbands, all love marriages, ending in divorce after a few years. in one case the punjabi husband has retained the 1.5 crore flat and remarried, the wife moving out with her ten year old son. whether arranged or cupid induced, the couple have to work hard to stay married. love marriage has more pot holes to jump, because expectations from the partner are high.

Girls sometimes over reach and choose the wrong mate .

In love marriages , it is doubly hard due to cultural ,caste differences and huge expectations from either side.for many after marriage in most cases it is bit of a let

down. divorce is a bitter end to many relationship.people should never marry a person with whom one is very friendly and consider themselves in love. It can only be a

disappointment as marriage is a different ball game

 

[mkrishna100]

Boys due to immaturity marry without thinking too much if they find a girl attractive.

In current context I find many of the TB Boys highly immature and unable to handle the pressure of a married life . They take too many things for granted without understanding how Society ,attitudes of women etc etc have changed and in most of the present marraiges ( of TB ) I have found after the Honeymoon phase is over the fireworks start in that place . There are of course exceptions to this but in many cases fireworks start within 30 days of the marriage .

 

[mkrishna100]

I am in chennai now and heard three instances of brahmin girls (iyer) with non brahmin and non south indian husbands, all love marriages, ending in divorce after a few years. in one case the punjabi husband has retained the 1.5 crore flat and remarried, the wife moving out with her ten year old son. whether arranged or cupid induced, the couple have to work hard to stay married. love marriage has more pot holes to jump, because expectations from the partner are high.

True .This aspect is missing in many married TB Couples . They take things for granted and it is very good for the first one month or so and then when the real resposibilty of married life starts they fire works also start and it either ends in divorce or leading a dry married life .

 

[tbs]

Girls sometimes over reach and choose the wrong mate .

In love marriages , it is doubly hard due to cultural ,caste differences and huge expectations from either side.for many after marriage in most cases it is bit of a let

down. divorce is a bitter end to many relationship.people should never marry a person with whom one is very friendly and consider themselves in love. It can only be a

disappointment as marriage is a different ball game

hi

yes..its true....its different ball game....marriage with THREE " THEES" VERY DIFFICULT......PAPPATHEE....VANNATHHEE.....KURATHEEE....

all these three THEES are very different in nature....just LIKE THEE MEANS FIRE.....LOL

 

[renuka]

Girls sometimes over reach and choose the wrong mate .

In love marriages , it is doubly hard due to cultural ,caste differences and huge expectations from either side.for many after marriage in most cases it is bit of a let

down. divorce is a bitter end to many relationship.people should never marry a person with whom one is very friendly and consider themselves in love. It can only be a

disappointment as marriage is a different ball game

I think its only people in India that are facing problems like this.

Out here divorce is almost unheard off among Hindu educated individuals.

 

[mkrishna100]

I think its only people in India that are facing problems like this.

Out here divorce is almost unheard off among Hindu educated individuals.

India opened its doors to the world economy in the 90s and from then there has been a lot of change in the attitudes of people and women have moved faster embracing those changes and many men and the inlaws are unable to digest these change in attitudes of women with regard to the role they play as wife ,DIL and the demands they make on the husband and the inlaws .Those families and boys who have embraced these changes and adapting accordingly are having less friction but those who are still in the 80s mindset are facing a huge shock . ThIS is more true in TB Case .I am not aware of how this is in North India and other parts of India . A Case in Point - a relative of mine who comes from a conservative TB family married a Girl who was well educated ( from a TB family but they were from so called Progressive TB Family i.e going to clubs , Party drinking etc ) after few months of marriage they had a problem but the boy did not reveal it and since the boy did not reveal it the Parents thought things were going fine . Later when they came to know of this the asked the Boy why didn't he share the same with them earlier and the boy told I was too shocked by the behavaior of the Girl that it took him many weeks to digest that and come to terms with the same .
I am not taking sides with the Boys or Girls but just pointing out that the huge change that has taken place in the Indian Society and more so in TB Girls and many Boys and their families .are unable to come to terms with it .

 

[renuka]

India opened its doors to the world economy in the 90s and from then there has been a lot of change in the attitudes of people and women have moved faster embracing those changes and many men and the inlaws are unable to digest these change in attitudes of women with regard to the role they play as wife ,DIL and the demands they make on the husband and the inlaws .Those families and boys who have embraced these changes and adapting accordingly are having less friction but those who are still in the 80s mindset are facing a huge shock . ThIS is more true in TB Case .I am not aware of how this is in North India and other parts of India . A Case in Point - a relative of mine who comes from a conservative TB family married a Girl who was well educated ( from a TB family but they were from so called Progressive TB Family i.e going to clubs , Party drinking etc ) after few months of marriage they had a problem but the boy did not reveal it and since the boy did not reveal it the Parents thought things were going fine . Later when they came to know of this the asked the Boy why didn't he share the same with them earlier and the boy told I was too shocked by the behavaior of the Girl that it took him many weeks to digest that and come to terms with the same .
I am not taking sides with the Boys or Girls but just pointing out that the huge change that has taken place in the Indian Society and more so in TB Girls and many Boys and their families .are unable to come to terms with it .

Dear Sir,

I have a feeling its the Rusikanda Poonai Syndrome.

I have noted in my stay in India that when exposed to a little modern atmosphere local party(Indian citizens) go wild!

Really..all of a sudden they get too easily influenced by so called modern culture and freak out like crazy.

Some even then try to speak English with a fake American accent.

I think after a while when the initial high of a so called modern life dies down people will be back to normal.

Even out here in Msia there is a state in the East Coast which is known for its hard core orthodox rules and regulations and when the Kudi Magans/Magals from that state come to the big cities..its all hell break loose!
They totally freak out too and land with the most problems.

 

[tbs]

Dear Sir,

I have a feeling its the Rusikanda Poonai Syndrome.

I have noted in my stay in India that when exposed to a little modern atmosphere local party(Indian citizens) go wild!

Really..all of a sudden they get too easily influenced by so called modern culture and freak out like crazy.

Some even then try to speak English with a fake American accent.

I think after a while when the initial high of a so called modern life dies down people will be back to no

Even out here in Msia there is a state in the East Coast which is known for its hard core orthodox rules and regulations and when the Kudi Magans/Magals from that state come to the big cities..its all hell break loose!
They totally freak out too and land with the most problems.

hi

is it PANANG?....lah...

 

[mkrishna100]

I have a feeling its the Rusikanda Poonai Syndrome.

I have noted in my stay in India that when exposed to a little modern atmosphere local party(Indian citizens) go wild!

Renukaji

There was a TV Talk show here 2 years back on this issue and 3 Men ( I think they are mostly TB ) who are divorced now attributed their divorce to the change in attitudes of women Post the liberalization and Post the IT Boom in India .One person also told that he was happily married with a daughter and his wife was a housewife and he felt since she should not be idling her spare time got her enrolled in a Computer Course and after she completed it , she took a part time job then graduated to a full time job in an IT Company and once she tasted the perks of the new MNC culture , she decided to quit the marriage including leaving the Girl with her Husband and walked out . He told he thought he was progressive enough to empower his wife by enrolling in an IT Course and get her a part time job but she just used it as a ladder and moved ahead kicked him out .
A Psycologist who had come as a guest to the program said that Men and Women's brains are wired differently and women are fast in adapting to changes and men take time to adapt to the new changes and she told those 3 men if they are expecting their present Indian Urban women to behave the same way as their mothers and grandmothers behaved with their husbands then they have to face these sort of circumstances only . There can be expceptions to these rules but there is a new behavior patten exhibited by TB Women and if the Men and the inlaws are not prepared to adapt to this change in attitude they will suffer a lot .

 

[krish44]

malaysians are culturally several decades behind indians in india

how can there be a comparison between apples and oranges?

even in india ,tamil brahmins in chennai , rural area , those in mumbai or delhi and other places in north india have different preferences and exposures . they are

likely to behave differently in choice of mates

most get mates they deserve IMHO

 

[Raji Ram]

Hope he starts his posts again.

A few members were constantly throwing :brick: .

I don't think he will enter forum again! If so, it is our luck!

P.S: He continues his new blogs as usual.

 

[renuka]

hi

is it PANANG?....lah...

What Panang Manang!LOL


Penang is west coast lah!

 

[renuka]

malaysians are culturally several decades behind indians in india

I guess you are right..that explains why I am "conservative".

 

[Raji Ram]

In current context I find many of the TB Boys highly immature and unable to handle the pressure of a married life . They take too many things for granted without understanding how Society ,attitudes of women etc etc have changed and in most of the present marraiges ( of TB ) I have found after the Honeymoon phase is over the fireworks start in that place . There are of course exceptions to this but in many cases fireworks start within 30 days of the marriage .

The level of toleration has come down considerably. People expect others to be perfect in everything and are not able to accept

anything imperfect! And, only the good side of both groom and bride are highlighted before their wedding. My dad used to say in

lighter vein that a girl divorced her husband on the second day, soon after hearing the noises he produced while brushing his teeth! :lol:

 

[Raji Ram]

I guess you are right..that explains why I am "conservative".

Dear Renu,

You have not completed your sentence.

The remaining part is: ''and talk about behanjis and bikinis'' !! :becky:

 

[krish44]

Rajiramji
Girls see the good sides of boys before marriage.They are blind to faults in boys . Some even believe that they can remould their boys to their requirements after marriage.

When boys are dull heads and incapable of learning what wives teach them, they get disgusted and walk out of marriage.lol

intolerant girls run off after a few days of marriage and others a little later.

I think it is better than continuing in a dysfunctional relationship for a lifetime as it was done by last generation of couples

boys cope better with faults in girls . they find ways to put up with them . they never try to correct faults of girls. they act ignorant . some have let off mechanisms

like office work, smoking or drinking, so boys do better than girls in this respect. mostly girls sue for divorce not boys. they only continue with their merry ways .

boys engage in playing bagpipes like scots when their girls try screaming and shouting about atrocities committed by boys in divorce courts.lol

 

[tbs]

Rajiramji
Girls see the good sides of boys before marriage.They are blind to faults in boys . Some even believe that they can remould their boys to their requirements after marriage.

When boys are dull heads and incapable of learning what wives teach them, they get disgusted and walk out of marriage.lol

intolerant girls run off after a few days of marriage and others a little later.

I think it is better than continuing in a dysfunctional relationship for a lifetime as it was done by last generation of couples

boys cope better with faults in girls . they find ways to put up with them . they never try to correct faults of girls. they act ignorant . some have let off mechanisms

like office work, smoking or drinking, so boys do better than girls in this respect. mostly girls sue for divorce not boys. they only continue with their merry ways .

boys engage in playing bagpipes like scots when their girls try screaming and shouting about atrocities committed by boys in divorce courts.lol

hi

yes..its true,,,,

 

[krish44]

Dr tbs garu,
You are the only person who thinks like me in this forum and agree to my views .

I feel honoured.

 

[tbs]

Dr tbs garu,
You are the only person who thinks like me in this forum and agree to my views .

I feel honoured.

hi

thanks.....a small human being in this earth....

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... intolerant girls run off after a few days of marriage and others a little later.

I think it is better than continuing in a dysfunctional relationship for a lifetime as it was done by last generation of couples......

Since the general thinking is like this, there is no chance of decline in the % of divorces! :sad:

 

[krish44]

RRji
Why should there be a decrease in divorce %.


It is only a statistical data.

the objective in life is to be happy. if a relationship sours what is the rational for its continuation .

in hindu religion since divorces are frowned upon and we believe in sanctity of marriage. many wives are made victims of bride burning if relations sour

In Muslim faith marriage is only a contract which can be terminated by either party and it is not considered a blemish on either party and both are free to marry

again

which is better ?

 

[Raji Ram]

Free to marry again? How many times?

Then these words will be heard often:

''Your children and my children are playing with our children!'' :dizzy:

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... In Muslim faith marriage is only a contract which can be terminated by either party and it is not considered a blemish on either party and both are free to marry again .........

I am :scared: because one Muslim is about to enter my extended family!

 

[renuka]

In Muslim faith marriage is only a contract which can be terminated by either party and it is not considered a blemish on either party and both are free to marry

again

Not entirely true..its only the Male that can terminate the contract..till the males pronounces Talaq the female has no choice but to stay.

She can take a case to the Syariah Court but even then if the male does not want to Talaq..even the court cant do anything.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

You have not completed your sentence.

The remaining part is: ''and talk about behanjis and bikinis'' !! :becky:

Dear RR ji,

Nudity is ancient and original..only modern people cover up..true conservative people do not!LOL