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Dealing with Brahmin girl attracted towards white boy

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Another Kamala Harris in the making
Do you think your statement is an insult or is it praise?
What Kamala Harris achieved as a Black/ Asian woman is marvelous. She shattered many glass ceilings.
It is a reason to be a proud American Girl of color today.

But I admire (sic) your profound ignorance and the audacity to show it in public.

Secondly, you are mistaken (that is too mildly put). This young girl if she marries a Non-TB should be compared to Shyamala Gopalan and not Kamala.

Let me ask you simply did your daughter become the VP of the USA?
 
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ashok68

Member
A senior member of the Forum in her Posting No.22 has already indicated that this thread has already received enough attention/suggestion assuming that the query is genuine.

Most will agree with me that this thread has already derailed and now there are exchange of conflicting opinion, which are no way related to the topic.

IMO, such threads are not new to the Forum and are posted more often, may be, to trigger members with conflicting opinion, finally each one mudslinging the other, there will be abundant slandering, abuses, vitriol, name calling etc You will agree that for every one of us, time is highly precious and hence cannot be spent on such derailed threads.

My upvote to posting No.22 and I am rightly reminded of a phrase..... beating a dead horse.

I appreciate every one who earnestly contributed their valued thoughts and opinion.

SHIVOHAM....SHIVOHAM :)
 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
My upvote to posting No.22 and I am rightly reminded of a phrase..... beating a dead horse.

:)
It is a living horse that is being skinned alive. How is it dead? If it is dead, it should not keep coming up again and again.
Unless society accepts diversity it will die.
Old fogies must accept new reality or they will be left behind.
I know of some of these old fogies who are alienated from their own family members because of this narrow mindedness and are miserable in their old age.
 

ashok68

Member
Every one is entitled to his opinion and free to voice his/her thoughts

Here I would like to share my childhood days experience

In our village, there was an aged poor lady who was hired by few to fetch water from the roadside tap. Whenever, she comes to fetch water with a pot, the road side gang of undesirable youths used to call her சின்னபொண்ணு. She, who got insulted, annoyed, will immediately start throwing brick bats (at times using vulgar words) against this gang and this will go on for some time. Again, after sometime, this undesirable incident will be repeated, till the water supply stops.

Now, we practice complex rituals called 16 samskarams viz Pregnancy, childbirth, education, marriage, death, etc. Right from Garbhadana, Pumsavana, .. and finally Anthima samskarams.

Tomorrow, there will be a query by some Tom, Dick or Harry as to a Brahmin girl getting pregnant after marrying a white boy. What will be his gothram and how to perform these rituals or vice-versa.

Most of us are armed with more knowledge and are capable of giving more tips and advice. Why don’t we wait before contributing our valuable inputs.

Of course, some of us may think that we are Holier-than-thou.

Let us prove that we are wise, elite and erudite in our conversations and try to maintain order.

Avoid falling prey to such queries (who knows it is genuine?)
If it is really genuine, there is archive where one can easily find out ample solutions. What for than archive is maintained...?

Else, you are free to keep the fire burning....and it is your choice anyway.

Thanks for the response and would like to ignore this derailed thread

SHIVOHAM....SHIVOHAM ..SHIVOHAM....SHIVOHAM :)

PS: For heaven's don't drag ............Harries and ..........Gopalan please.
 
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Rudra_Maha

New member
@sun244 Hello sir, I'll tell how I would have approached this situation:-

1. First talk to the parents and find out why they are against the idea of their daughter dating a white boy. Find out the core reason. Is it because:

a. They're afraid of what others would say.
b. Daughters future.
c. Hindu values.

If we analyze/deconstruct further:-


1.They're afraid of what others would say.

This stems from an idea of a belonging to one particular group. Although the parents are not orthodox, they still haven't renounced their membership with the clan. They've just stayed away for sometime for personal benefits. Should they continue with their identifying with some group or not is their call, but one thing is clear, they do not have the rights now to control their daughters choice. If they themselves haven't subscribed to one way of life, don't expect your daughter to tow your line. So, check with the parents.

2. Daughters future

Genuine reason. Dating at 18 and maybe getting pregnant or ending up being a single mother is a sure recipe to screwing up ones life. No parent would want it to happen to their children. So what's the Alternative?...either teach the daughter about safe methods of having physical relations.( hope they don't, but just in case they do). Or convince the daughter to hold still till marriage.

One can't tame biology, such things are bound to happens and in a free country like America, one cannot expect to control or impose upon the other

c. Hindu values

I don't think, this is in the priority item for them. You said, they weren't traditional, so I don't think the daughter would have imbibed any values either.

They need to realize that , they may be Indian at heart with roots rooted in India, hence they can walk away for sometime and still come back but their kid is an American(assuming she was brought up there). No matter what they say and cry, she will never understand what it means to be an Indian or a Hindu unless she's been brought up that way. So, there's no point going down that road.

I suggest them to sit with their daughter and find out reasons over why she feels so, what she is seeing in her future etc. Sit and talk, introspect ans then decide...

Is dating a white boy bad??--->No
If bad--->find out why.
Should u talk to the girl---> Damn yes
Introduce to the girl about Sex, Marriage, culture, religion, ancestry--->Darnn yesss.

So ask them to have a proper dialogue with the young lady, rather than worry. Worrying only worsens the situation.

Do all of this one step at a time and then decide.

Parents will have a lot of priorities to be set here, some like

Race--Indian vs white
Culture--American vs Indian
Religion/Spirituality--Theirs vs daughter
Happiness---Theirs vs daughter.

This is just a coming of age issue. So, a proper dialogue would be enough to solve unless of course if the kid is'nt woke!!
 
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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Every one is entitled to his opinion and free to voice his/her thoughts

Here I would like to share my childhood days experience

In our village, there was an aged poor lady who was hired by few to fetch water from the roadside tap. Whenever, she comes to fetch water with a pot, the road side gang of undesirable youths used to call her சின்னபொண்ணு. She, who got insulted, annoyed, will immediately start throwing brick bats (at times using vulgar words) against this gang and this will go on for some time. Again, after sometime, this undesirable incident will be repeated, till the water supply stops.

Now, we practice complex rituals called 16 samskarams viz Pregnancy, childbirth, education, marriage, death, etc. Right from Garbhadana, Pumsavana, .. and finally Anthima samskarams.

Tomorrow, there will be a query by some Tom, Dick or Harry as to a Brahmin girl getting pregnant after marrying a white boy. What will be his gothram and how to perform these rituals or vice-versa.

Most of us are armed with more knowledge and are capable of giving more tips and advice. Why don’t we wait before contributing our valuable inputs.

Of course, some of us may think that we are Holier-than-thou.

Let us prove that we are wise, elite and erudite in our conversations and try to maintain order.

Avoid falling prey to such queries (who knows it is genuine?)
If it is really genuine, there is archive where one can easily find out ample solutions. What for than archive is maintained...?

Else, you are free to keep the fire burning....and it is your choice anyway.

Thanks for the response and would like to ignore this derailed thread

SHIVOHAM....SHIVOHAM ..SHIVOHAM....SHIVOHAM :)

PS: For heaven's don't drag ............Harries and ..........Gopalan please.
I have no personal fight with you. Yes, we all have our opinion, Our combined opinion becomes the norm of society. If we do not voice our opinion the opinion of the minority becomes the norm and becomes the accepted practice.

We have moved out of our ancestral village, we do not live in agraharams, we have modified our professions. If we still cling to 18th-century values we will be the losers.

We must adopt the changing values. We must accept that women have rights. Age-old barriers of caste, color, sex, place of birth, religion must go and we must accept the changes or be miserable.
 

sravna

Well-known member
People fundamentally are of two types. One who thinks that pleasure is important and the other who thinks discipline is important. Nature has designed these two types as orthogonal and let them both evolve in their own ways. So neither can be said to be the right one.

It is not surprising that some brahmin girls who are supposedly spiritual are attracted to white boys. But there can be materialistic brahmin girls and spiritual white boys. So if the compatibility is there at the inner level attraction happens. Also this being a kali yuga materialism is hugely preferred over spirituality, so even really spiritual girls can get attracted to white boys.

Lets hope the balance is restored.
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
People fundamentally are of two types. One who thinks that pleasure is important and the other who thinks discipline is important. Nature has designed these two types as orthogonal and let them both evolve in their own ways. So neither can be said to be the right one.

It is not surprising that some brahmin girls who are supposedly spiritual are attracted to white boys. But there can be materialistic brahmin girls and spiritual white boys. So if the compatibility is there at the inner level attraction happens. Also this being a kali yuga materialism is hugely preferred over spirituality, so even really spiritual girls can get attracted to white boys.

Lets hope the balance is restored.
Dear Sravna,

Being traditional and being spiritual are different.

Some people might be traditional but they need not always be spiritual.

Some might be spiritual but not traditional.

Usually a balanced person isnt too much into tradition as an identity but rather follow what is conducive without being attached to it.
 

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