Cultural Attack

[chanakya]

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Hi everybody,
I am new member and for the past 3 or 4 days I was going through various discussions. I see some participation going worthless. Some people are putting valid points. Actually one of the thread which attracted me is the Dravids and Brahmana women.I dont know where to put my views so started a thread. Even this issue has been irritating me for long time. And at one point of time whichever marriage I hear, will be a intercaste and the bride will be a brahmin girl.I was wondering why that happens. I am not able to come to any conclusion. Actually I wanted this thread to think of some constructive points rather than abuse (be it even on EVR or Kalaingar). I feel there must be some mistake in our way of life. A society will thrive only if it is subject to changes. And I feel if we Brahmins want to thrive we need to have some renaissance. And the youth should come forward.
I was impressed by BAAM on women side of view. One of her question is, will a guy come forward to marry a girl below her status. What ever cases I see, its been the girl is from a good background ( either rich, well educated or beautiful). I also remember now some 10yrs back I saw an article that Paarsis also face a situation that they dont find suitable girls for their guys and this will happen to our girls. When I talked to some girls generally one thing I see in them is they have a inferiority complex being a brahmin and the DKs are successful in imparting that feeling into our girls(and even many of brahmin boys also part of that gang) .And this is what the conclusion I could come. I want more and more girls to take part in this type of discussion so that we can make changes in our society. Please convince the parents to encourage our women. Everyone needs to be a part of our revival. I have seen many girls saying, I dont want to marry a boy looking like a traditional brahmin boy. This is a cultural attack on us. Being a proper brahmin boy means they are not hard guys and it has been seeded in the minds of girls that their guys must be macho and this has become quite common in Urban and mainly chennai as I see. Please let us use this thread to bring good ideas rather than any abuse. Please give a case and ur side of solution for that.

 

[gautham]

alarming situation

Chanakya sir,

I think you are right about more brahmin women marrying NBs. There is a matrimonial service called brahminsmatrimony.com. I did a search on ladies and then on gentlemen with following criteria to check my chances.

Ladies
Age : 23 to 31
Mother tongue : tamil
Location : India
Sect: Iyer , Iyengar

Gentlemen
Age : 27 to 35
Mother tongue = tamil
Location = India
Sect: Iyer , Iyengar

For Gentlemen we get total count = 498 .
For ladies total count is only = 159

For Every woman there are more than 3 men looking out for partner.
Which means every 2 out of 3 brahmin men will have to be bachelor or look outside the community. It is difficult for a normal brahmin man to get a girl outside community in India because non-Brahmins violently prohibit their women from marrying brahmin men. Also they are brought up hating brahmins becaus of media protrayal of brahmins as oppressors. Also a brahmin man is disadvantaged by reservation policy and no non-brahmin woman would prefer marrying a disadvantaged person.

So every 2 out of 3 brahmin men will be bachelors.

This means the brahmin population is reduced by two-thirds every generation and thus eventually all Brahmins in TN will vanish even if they do not emigrate outside.

So this is an alarming situation.

Best regards
Gautam
:ranger:

 

[silverfox]

Hi guys!
Just returned to Chennai after a week in Bangalore on business. I was just given an marriage invitation (Iyengar girl marrying a Malayalee Nair boy). I was told this would be a 'love' marriage. God knows! what went thru that girl's mind to make a decision like that - she is in the IT sector. I am not saying that it is bad; however, when I see the alarming statistics of less and less brahmin girls of marriageable age, I begin to worry as to what is going to happen to our community.
Anybody with any real good answers?

 

[Kothai]

Parents of Boys need broad minds

This is an alarming fact that many eligible brahmin boys are not getting suitable matches.
There are many reasons for this situation. I agree that brahmin girls are getting attracted by NB boys. But they are only countable in number. But I feel that the cursed words in our community-Varadakshanai, Seer Varisai, Vairaththodu etc. are the main reasons for this situation.
The parents of a so called highly educated, well settled, most probably NRI boy expect a lot of dowry from their Sambandhis. They are ready to keep their son a bachelor till they get a "suitable" alliance which matches their "status".
But as the parents of girls also spend money to educate their daughter, as the girls also earn a good lot of amount, the girls think that when I get a boy from outside who does not expect anything from my parents, why to go for a boy who does not care to stop his parents from demanding anything for him.
In the matrimonial advts, I could find many ads in which the boy is well settled, earning much but still wants an equally qualified, equally earning girl along with huge Seer Varisai.
So I think the parents of boys should change a lot which will bring a great deal of improvement in our community.

 

[silverfox]

Kothai:

You have hit the nail! Well put!

 

[Chora Iyer Ka]

Brahmin-Brahmin marriages

Let us not fool ourselves. Exclusivity of Birth and a special genetic heritage defines Brahminhood and our identity, yet is against the principle of equality and humanism our constitution upholds. The only way to resolve this conflict is to preserve our CULTURE rather than our CASTE.We already dont care about various sub-castes or Iyers and Iyengars inter-marrying. Some fathers dont mind any groom as long as "he is a brahmin" - my cousin married a Chitpavan that way - others say at least a marry a Hindu - some others - anybody as long as it not one of "them" ( Muslims, poor fellows) and so forth down the long ladder of liberality. We are no one to draw lines - everyone must choose what makes it work for them, but I believe Tambrahmns will always find themselves attracted to TamBrahm partners ( Irrespective of their Punjabi/Bengali girlfriends or boyfriends in college)

Maybe what we need to keep our race pure is to change with the times and have organized active online and offline real-time socializing where young adults can interact in an unsupervised manner and make their choices

 

[Chintana]

Good points in this posting.

Let us not fool ourselves. Exclusivity of Birth and a special genetic heritage defines Brahminhood and our identity, yet is against the principle of equality and humanism our constitution upholds. The only way to resolve this conflict is to preserve our CULTURE rather than our CASTE.We already dont care about various sub-castes or Iyers and Iyengars inter-marrying. Some fathers dont mind any groom as long as "he is a brahmin" - my cousin married a Chitpavan that way - others say at least a marry a Hindu - some others - anybody as long as it not one of "them" ( Muslims, poor fellows) and so forth down the long ladder of liberality. We are no one to draw lines - everyone must choose what makes it work for them, but I believe Tambrahmns will always find themselves attracted to TamBrahm partners ( Irrespective of their Punjabi/Bengali girlfriends or boyfriends in college)

Maybe what we need to keep our race pure is to change with the times and have organized active online and offline real-time socializing where young adults can interact in an unsupervised manner and make their choices

 

[Kothai]

Brahmin Marriages

In this context, I want to mention that I have both ends in my own family itself.
One of my cousins has married a Gujarati girl with the consent of both the families. His parents agreed to this marriage, only because the girl is also a brahmin.
I have one more cousin who is still unmarried at the age of 37 even though he is well settled in his Sasthrigal profession. His parents are not able to find a girl for him saying the reason that no Tambrahm girl wants to marry a boy doing Vaideeham. The irony is that his own colleagues have their kids going to school. The fact is they want a girl with lot of D.Pack(Dowry Pack).
They are not relaxing their expectations in any way. But the affected one is my brother.

 

[hariharan1972]

Good points

The only way to resolve this conflict is to preserve our CULTURE rather than our CASTE.

Very good point.

but I believe Tambrahmns will always find themselves attracted to TamBrahm partners ( Irrespective of their Punjabi/Bengali girlfriends or boyfriends in college)

Just as Ms Kothai mentioned about the Dowry problem, there is also the "status problem". The choices of people are getting narrower by the day probably to the extent that the brides & grooms going forward would even do a filtering on the "Technology" that the spouse is working on. ("Nee java va, naan Dot Net, vendam po !")

Like in movie PKS when Sneha finds fault with Abbas (Anand) after their marriage accusing him of hiding the fact that his work permit to Australia was rejected before their marriage.

Anand asks - "appo nee yenna, ananda, love pannalaya ?"

Sneha replies - "naan Australia pora Ananda love pannen !!!"

We cannot resist this phenomenon by force. The community can tide over this problem only with sagacity & displaying large-heartedness & wisdom.

Thy enemy is not outside but within.

 

[Neemani]

Also too much of Astrology domination involvement of cult gurus in a Brahmin family's personal decision is high. parents are too selective (w.r.t) astrology. they want to control the future which is impossible even to god. kuja dosham non sense. also the diet vegiterian (hybrid and fertilizer grown vegies) not organic anymore, men esp. growing boys are not getting equivalent protien in the current day brahmin meal. Soya should be encouraged. in the previous yugas Agastyar and other brahmins used to take mutton. as such the current generation of brahmin boys is effiminate, tender, fragile bone structure only the voice is left along with some brains. (like asharira vani) women of any race and upbringing have the right to prefer the brawny both for marital bliss and protection. thus the brahmin seed(Bija) is being deprived of the field (kshetra). if some focus is not given by youth on the physique it will be the end of road for brahminism. astrology is good for postmortem and analysis and debate it can be viewed as a posssibility not as a projection and living by its dictates is absurd. let common sense prevail among brahmins.

 

[fire]

I think Intercaste marriages happen now a days in a larger number than the older days.Its not specific to our Brahmins only.The reason for its more among girls is what I believe, other men come and propose the love.They accept it.But its not happening with the Brahmin boys.I feel we are not willing to have a marriage relationship , or not willing to take risk of proposing , or not willing to face the social consequences of that. I am not sure of the inferiority complex among brahmins. I feel we need education on the cultural side. Being tradition doesn't not mean we are not modern.Our achievements in the Indian society are never inferior to anyone so far.But we need to concentrate on physical fitness and sports.Traditional thinking doesn't interfere with rational thinking.Assume i am a believer of God, I wont write that God created the world in physics exam. On the same time I wont argue the scientific aspects of world creation with a religious follower.All activities have its own ground.

Do we need to preserve our caste? May be its a topic of another thread or poll.If yes,why?.

There should be good things also in the old teachings. Assume the intellectual percentage of the population is 10% there should be atleast 1% intellectuals in the past also.Their good thoughts if not taken by us, we are the losers.

We should have realistic expectations.If we expect the girl to be fair and in IT industry...The girl in IT will have a higher expectation.What we will do is , we will blame others.We wont think if our expectations are suitable.So if one decides to do arranged marriage within their caste , if they are flexible in their demands I hope they can get a suitable partner.

But increase in intercaste marriages I will attribute to the love concept seriously advocated by many and I can say unopposed by none openly .

 

[Neemani]

yes you are right Fire, the approachability of a brahmin boy is more beaureaucratic than approaching a girl. more over the requirements in the first round of search highly critical and narrowed
our subsect,
fair(universal requirement),
slightly lesser in height than my son,
slightly less educated than my son and further...
...like a continued fraction. Where as love starts with association college, work place, some long term assesment above all guts to propose in an open forum...
visibility of virtues... a progressive affair is love unlike the continued fraction above
sports (mostly physical) are a good arena to righteously perform..its a level play ground for all. the diamond is highly polished but covered with the smog of inhibition, praja has become raja in modern days in the ...in the olden days swayam vara was popular among Royal daughters... in the current days deciding ones partner by the same trend... its a global tender... its a question of who files and appears at tender opening... acquisition of heart by exposure of talent.

 

[KRS]

Hi guys!
Just returned to Chennai after a week in Bangalore on business. I was just given an marriage invitation (Iyengar girl marrying a Malayalee Nair boy). I was told this would be a 'love' marriage. God knows! what went thru that girl's mind to make a decision like that - she is in the IT sector. I am not saying that it is bad; however, when I see the alarming statistics of less and less brahmin girls of marriageable age, I begin to worry as to what is going to happen to our community.
Anybody with any real good answers?

Dear Sri Silverfox,

I also just received an invitation for an impending marriage next month in India - an Iyer boy marrying a Christian girl.

I think as a community we perhaps need to start 'cultural' clubs where children of both sexes should come in to contact with each other under proper supervision. The parents need to understand the reality of the current situation. Let 'love' grow and mature irrespective of the families' financial circumstances. This way, at least we can make sure that during the time of testasterone/progesterone domination, there will be folks to interact with, within the community. But this requires the acceptance of this concept by the families - they need to understand the current predicament.

Small communities such as the Jews in USA, do this.

Pranams,
KRS

 

[ranjani]

Very sensible post,Chanakya.Thanks!


I'm painfully aware of this fact but what can we do?I can't agree that girls have an inferiority complex but the plain stinking truth is,girls want the macho type.I'm not joking or anything;it's the real sad truth.Even one of my best frds, an iyengar girl, is in love with a NB boy and i feel very very bad that i cant advise her against it.How can i talk to her out of it?She's determined and talks about marriage at such an early level that it frightens me.I feel ill at ease whenever we broach the topic and she very well knows i'm against all this stupid crap.

As someone said,there must a course of counseling for girls and they must understand the importance of our culture.Why aren't these ppl serious in life?

This should definitely put an end to.But how? -I dont know-i really dont!

 

[gautham]

satyagraha

Brahmin boys are better looking. Many keep their body fit. But they are focused on coming up in life and it is a big struggle for them due to the govt’s reservation policies and discrimination in public life by others.
By the time a brahmin boy is settled, the girls in the age group fit to be his wife are already seduced by NBs who are rich and who don’t really have to work hard in life since the reservation policy ensures they don’t have to work hard and have plenty of time an d money at disposal to pursue brahmin women. And these women don’t ever think of their culture.

So the parents must be proactive in telling their children especially daughters the importance of preserving the culture of Brahmins. The preservation has a more reasonable chance only if the marriage happens within Brahmins.

Counseling is a must and should start before they are 16.

The brahmin boys need to take more proteins and build their body and everyone should learn martial arts. They need to also give some attention to the art of charming (though they are typically hard pressed for time and money ).

The reservation policy must be fought since it discriminates only against the brahmin males. The fight must be done legally. But at least to begin with each brahmin individual must do his satyagraha against this policy by saying we will not marry those who oppress our community by dishonesty. It is similar to the boycott of foreign goods advocated by gandhiji during the independence struggle—Boycott marriage with oppressors. Desist from joining the ranks of oppressors and prevent the dwindling of the population of righteous people.
At the least Brahmins are righteous in at least one thing –fighting for meritocracy in education and employment and in public. Hence this righteousness must be nourished. It can be done only by preserving the brahmin culture which in turn is dependent on being endogamous.
As someone said, a sort of a dating club is needed within our community.

Cheers
Gautham

 

[gautham]

self defense against cultural attack


In every community there are good looking and bad looking people. But in TN th brahmin community is better looking on an average. So the real reason behind brahmin women falling for NBs is that the brahmin girls are brainwashed by the popular media –cinema , tv serials and writers where the main agenda seems to be the portrayal of brahmin women falling for NBs and brahmin boys as bad and not cool
They portray as if it is a great thing to do inter-caste marriage and always it is portrayed the brahmin woman with NB. The girls at impressionable age fall for this.
They also make the brahmin children feel inferior by projecting wrong stories in the media. Hence the girls feeling inferior fall for people from other castes since they are portrayed as heroes in popular media. The boys stop believing in themselves because of this cultural attack through media and in real life by others.
The parents also do not educate their children about the hollowness of this all.
The parents should tell their children to believe in themselves and tell them this portrayal of brahmin past mistakes is all bogus and don’t believe in such nonsense propaganda such as manu smriti etc whose only aim is to portray Brahmins as villains and wimps.

The parents must tell their children that there are better matches available for them than the Road side Romeos and the way to get in touch with better matches within our community is through internet.

As someone said before an online forum to let boys and girls of marriageable age mingle(after proper verification) is a must.

Cheers
Gautam

 

[lotus_quartz]

A pragmatic, progressive proposal ? Possibly.

As someone said, a sort of a dating club is needed within our community.
Gautham

 

[gautham]

no dowry no infanticide

my perception is that dowry and female infanticide are non existent or atleast has a far lower presence in TN brahmin community.
Still I would like to raise my voice against such practices if ever someone is thinking about them.

 

[Neemani]

Brawn and the Beauty - media selling USP

Very sensible post,Chanakya.Thanks!

I'm painfully aware of this fact but what can we do?I can't agree that girls have an inferiority complex but the plain stinking truth is,girls want the macho type. I'm not joking or anything;it's the real sad truth. Even one of my best frds, an iyengar girl, is in love with a NB boy and i feel very very bad that i cant advise her against it.How can i talk to her out of it?She's determined and talks about marriage at such an early level that it frightens me.I feel ill at ease whenever we broach the topic and she very well knows i'm against all this stupid crap.

As someone said,there must a course of counseling for girls and they must understand the importance of our culture.Why aren't these ppl serious in life?

This should definitely put an end to.But how? -I dont know-i really dont!

See you are feeling akward to raise this topic eventhough she is your best friend. ofcourse its too late now, as you put it. It is her level of awareness of her own culture that is at low ebb. there is nothing to repent in this. this so call fair skinned B beauties and their english educated parents are least acquainted with their culture...their awareness of culture is 'via media' but not through direct contacts with the parents or peer groups. the media is stressing on talk your kids about sex in case AIDs, but they are timid even to talk about their culture and potial lover's in an amicable fashion. Parents or elder and friends (like you) are not equipped or theoretically prepared to convince her instead you buy her argument with a humble pie. n minor undertone you can murmer this is not our culture why are you doing this. Ideally if she is mentally mature she would convince both herself and the lover that she is not right for him. what she has fallen pray to is "moha" and not "prema" media stereotype first looks... Perhaps mentally they both are in the same plane, like dissolves like... Women in general are soft they can be appeased by the most crudest of guys by repeated proposals, admiration and 'look he is caring so much' above all he is sturdy, durable, opposites attract. Contrasts match. black over white. Even in the US this trend is established with celeb blacks and blondes. any given celeb black NBA champ or golfer or invariably his wife or consort would be blonde (ofcourse as long as he is not broke). On the DK side it has become a status symbol.. we know tamils by nature be it Bs or NBs are emotional and trend followers be it Rajanis or MGRs or Ds. hence the rollot of the sinister policy. they are spending fulltime attention to bagging a fair skinned girl being good in her books, etc. Hence they prefer to be concubines or n'th wifes. also there is a weakness in what we believe as our culture, it has become more a mechanical ritual and it is 'bhayam' that is religion rather than 'bhakti'.
the sankyas and jigyaasis (knowledge seekers) are being lost. blindfold bhakti is being what is misunderstood as brahminism. I am sorry to say this brahminism esp. in TN has become more a makeup rather than an ideology. one who doesn't question is not a true brahmin, he ought to be rational and creative in approach. Today he is either horizontal tika or vertical tika. Sanskrit grammar, etymological approach. appreciation of ancient literature, original thinking. Aversion to cult dictacts etc. tarka, mimasa, logic, rheoteric are being ignored (these would create the required culture divide and not tikas-iconoclastic stereotypes)...on the physique front sadly it has become synomous with vegitarianism, eating less, imbecile with fastings and technically bad diet. bookish knowledge. spectacled, blunt, good enough to become a software nerd. no sane female would appreciate. thus from ideological through physical Bism is driving towards its own grave, unless it takes a Uturn in its approach it can't survive.

 

[Neemani]

Brawn and the Beauty - media selling USP

Very sensible post,Chanakya.Thanks!

I'm painfully aware of this fact but what can we do?I can't agree that girls have an inferiority complex but the plain stinking truth is,girls want the macho type. I'm not joking or anything;it's the real sad truth. Even one of my best frds, an iyengar girl, is in love with a NB boy and i feel very very bad that i cant advise her against it.How can i talk to her out of it?She's determined and talks about marriage at such an early level that it frightens me.I feel ill at ease whenever we broach the topic and she very well knows i'm against all this stupid crap.

As someone said,there must a course of counseling for girls and they must understand the importance of our culture.Why aren't these ppl serious in life?

This should definitely put an end to.But how? -I dont know-i really dont!

See you are feeling akward to raise this topic eventhough she is your best friend. ofcourse its too late now, as you put it. It is her level of awareness of her own culture that is at low ebb. there is nothing to repent in this. this so call fair skinned B beauties and their english educated parents are least acquainted with their culture...their awareness of culture is 'via media' direct contact with the parents or culture. Parents or elder and friends (like you) are not equipped or theoretically prepared to convince her instead you buy her argument with a humble pie. in minor undertone you can murmer this is not our culture why are you doing this. Ideally if she is mentally mature she would convince both herself and the lover that she is not right for him. what she has fallen pray to is "moha" and not "prema" media stereotype first looks... Perhaps mentally they both are in the same plane, like dissolves like... Women in general are soft they can be appeased by the most crudest of guys by repeated proposals, admiration and 'look he is caring so much' above all he is sturdy, durable, opposites attract. Contrasts match. black over white. Even in the US this trend is established with celeb blacks and blondes. any given celeb black NBA champ or golfer or invariably his wife or consort would be blonde (ofcourse as long as he is not broke). On the DK side it has become a status symbol.. we know tamils by nature be it Bs or NBs are emotional and trend followers be it Rajanis or MGRs or Ds. hence the rollot of the sinister policy. they are spending fulltime attention to bagging a fair skinned girl being good in her books, etc. Hence they prefer to be concubines or n'th wifes. also there is a weakness in what we believe as our culture, it has become more a mechanical ritual and it is 'bhayam' that is religion rather than 'bhakti'. the sankyas and jigyaasis (knowledge seekers) are being lost. blindfold bhakti is being what is misunderstood as brahminism. I am sorry to say this brahminism esp. in TN has become more a makeup rather than an ideology. one who doesn't question a true brahmin ought to be rational and creative in approach. Today he is either horizontal tika or vertical tika. Sanskrit grammar, etymological approach. appreciation of ancient literature, original thinking. Aversion to cult dictacts etc. tarka, mimasa, logic, rheoteric are being ignored (these would create the required culture divide and not tikas-iconoclastic stereotypes)...on the physique front sadly it has become synomous with vegitarianism, eating less, imbecile. bookish knowledge. spectacled, blunt, good enough to become a software nerd. no sane female would appreciate. thus from ideological through physical Bism is driving towards its own grave, unless it takes a Uturn in its approach it can survive.

 

[kaivalyam]

I have been following these threads for sometime now with detached interest(if there is any such thing). I initially thought that a lot of debate that was going on was mere vidandavaadam. It now seems to me that a lot of tambrams in TN have some form of identity crisis. This is interesting and sad.
Most threads start out identifying some problem and later devolve to blaming brahmanas or their practices(physically weak, vegetarian, insular, ritualistic, bookworms and so on). I don't see this attitude in myself or a lot of other tambrams that I know not residing in TN. Most of us are comfortable in our practices and identity. That doesn't mean we don't have a life. Both aspects have their own places and meld in seamlessly.

Admittedly, the sample spaces I'm using are very small(my own group of friends and people on this board). So there is perforce some generalization. This is just my observation. If I may have hurt someone's feelings, I sincerely apologise.

 

[kspv]

My humble opinion:

Strong feelings (some call it paranoia) over girls of one's community marrying boys from the other communities, are not exclusive to Tamil Brahmins. Visit a Coorgi website (for example, www.kodava.org), and you will see laments over how many Kodavathis (Coorgi girls) are marrying boys from other communities.

And Kodava (Coorgi) boys are neither frail-bodied, nor do they have bad looks! Infact many Kodava men are very handsome and athletic looking. Yet this feeling exists among Kodavas that their girls are running after boys of other communities. Few years back, there were riots in Coorg when a "self-made" video of a girl from Coorg and a boy from another community (both were engineering students of Malnadu Institute of Technology, Hassan) surfaced in Madikere. The riots subsided only when it came out that the girl in the video was a Gowdavathi (non-Coorgi) and not a Kodavathi.

Similar feelings are often expressed by Parsis, and across several smaller communities in India which have very distinct identities. Perhaps it is the fear over the community's survival, that make smaller communities react more adversely than the larger ones (which are not really affected if a few girls of their community marry out of the community).

I do not find anything particularly unattractive about Tamil Brahmin boys. I am sure a good number of Tamil Brahmin boys would have fans and admirers among non-Brahmin girls. After all, there is no logic and rationale for matters of heart!

Allowing some kind of dating (or atleast informal friendship) among boys and girls of Brahmin communities is not such a bad idea, if one is very keen on Brahmin girls settling down only with Brahmin boys.

 

[hariharan1972]

I do not find anything particularly unattractive about Tamil Brahmin boys. I am sure a good number of Tamil Brahmin boys would have fans and admirers among non-Brahmin girls. After all, there is no logic and rationale for matters of heart!

IMHO,

I don't know whether to label this as being "unattractive" there are some 'socio-psycho' factors which influence the thinking about Tambram boys (TBB)

a) Unlike other communities, Tambram boys "generally" grow in an atmosphere where there is a veil between him & the other gender. I suspect this makes a bit nervous when interacting with girls

b) Save for few, most Tambrams belong to a middle class socio strata. When the TBB starts earning, he is under an immediate pressure to contribute towards family - may be to close a loan taken by his father. So he has less money to flaunt on Arrow Shirts, Wrangler Jeans, Rayban glasses & latest bikes. This further makes him an "outsider" in the group.

c) Generally TBBs are god-fearing & 'karumame kannayinaar' types & doesn't socialise even when he doesn't have to pay from his pocket such as an office party. At the first given opportunity he would rush to the 'Curd Rice Counter' which would further confirm his 'yegnopavedham' & 'abhishtu' outlook.

d) I am not sure how many TBBs develop interests outside of work etc... so they may not have anything at all to bring to the discussion table except perhaps cricket talk.

e) Another weakness of TBBs is not being bi-lingual atleast hindi. In an org where Maadus (marwaris) & TBBs co-exist, maadus surely will pull TBBs leg on his lack of hindi knowledge.

All of the above are "generally applicable" & ofcourse there are charmers among TBBs also.

Infact i have seen extreme TBBs also who develop all vices just to show themselves as machos & socially acceptable.

In summary, the art of courtship is something TBBs should inculcate while not exactly turning into casanovas (Naan avan illai ?)

"Ratha Sapthami" oda may be for the benefit of our TBBs "Rathi Sapthami" also should be celebrated.

 

[gautham]

You can tell these girls to first register anonymously in matrimonial sites

Very sensible post,Chanakya.Thanks!


I'm painfully aware of this fact but what can we do?I can't agree that girls have an inferiority complex but the plain stinking truth is,girls want the macho type.I'm not joking or anything;it's the real sad truth.Even one of my best frds, an iyengar girl, is in love with a NB boy and i feel very very bad that i cant advise her against it.How can i talk to her out of it?She's determined and talks about marriage at such an early level that it frightens me.I feel ill at ease whenever we broach the topic and she very well knows i'm against all this stupid crap.

As someone said,there must a course of counseling for girls and they must understand the importance of our culture.Why aren't these ppl serious in life?

This should definitely put an end to.But how? -I dont know-i really dont!

Ms.Ranjani
I understand your feelings. You can tell your friends to first register themselves anonymously in matrimonial sites such as tamilmatrimony.com or brahminsmatrimony.com etc. That way they can get in touch with many brahmin boys/girls and they will realise that they have more options and far better choices.

Currently most of the girls/boys fall in love with whom they come in contact with --may be the boy/girl is in the same street or office or college etc. Thus they have limited choices and without realising this they make the wrong choice and repent later.

But by being able to increase their outreach they get to know the world is far bigger and they have far better suitors out there and can thus make a better choice.

In this current times of the internet, people should make maximum use of it to their advantage.

Cheers
Gautham

 

[Kothai]

Tambrahms ARE multi-lingual

e) Another weakness of TBBs is not being bi-lingual atleast hindi. In an org where Maadus (marwaris) & TBBs co-exist, maadus surely will pull TBBs leg on his lack of hindi knowledge.

I don't agree to this opinion. Being the wife of an Ex-Sergeant, I could get the opportunity to live in Northern Parts of India. I have mingled with people from different Indian states. And also with Tamils belonging to other castes.
I can proudly say that Tambrahms are the ones who easily catch and speak Hindi fluently.
And I think no one will contradict me in this fact that Tamilians esp., Brahmins have the best English fluency in this country.