Young, divorced and moving on

[mkrishna100]

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Young, divorced and moving on
[h=2]Marital separation does not seem to carry the stigma it used to many years earlier[/h]
Young, divorced and moving on - The Hindu

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krishna Sir,

There are two threads posted earlier, which had detailed discussions about divorce.

FYI, here they are:

Marriage and divorce - the new trend

Divorce - situation

 

[mkrishna100]

Sure Raji Madam

The article that I posted came in THE HINDU on 14 Aug 2013 , a recent one .

 

[Iyyarooraan]

People are so busy that they cannot stop to attach any stigma to anything. Without realizing himself man is unwittingly acting like a robot. Divorcees may become a caste and even seek to schedule themselves in the growing list.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Iyya Sir,

There exists a D group already in the marriage market! :grouphug:

 

[Raji Ram]

Members have given many cases of divorce in this forum. Here is a new one!

A software engineer lady got married to another SW engineer guy settled in Mumbai. His parents were staying nearby and

they took care of his girl baby. Life is full of turns and surprises, right? When the kid was 8 years old, one fine morning her

grandfather had a massive heart attack and left this world. Mother's loneliness bothered this guy and he brought her to live

with his family in the same flat. Wife was against this and since the guy was adamant, left the house with bag and baggage

and her kid. Applied for divorce and was successful!!

Now the mother and son have shifted to Sing. Chennai and lead a dull life without the small girl adding fun in the family! :sad:

P.S: I was wondering what reason could have been given for divorce! M I L??

 

[kunjuppu]

Members have given many cases of divorce in this forum. Here is a new one!

A software engineer lady got married to another SW engineer guy settled in Mumbai. His parents were staying nearby and

they took care of his girl baby. Life is full of turns and surprises, right? When the kid was 8 years old, one fine morning her

grandfather had a massive heart attack and left this world. Mother's loneliness bothered this guy and he brought her to live

with his family in the same flat. Wife was against this and since the guy was adamant, left the house with bag and baggage

and her kid. Applied for divorce and was successful!!

Now the mother and son have shifted to Sing. Chennai and lead a dull life without the small girl adding fun in the family! :sad:

P.S: I was wondering what reason could have been given for divorce! M I L??

obviously the mil was living nearby or could move nearby. why bring the mother into the same flat, unless misconstrued guilt. it was a functioning family, and this idiot son ruined it. we should know that once married, priority is towards the wife/children. anything else, only if wife or child buys in.

idiot son. even more idiot mother.

 

[prasad1]

P.S: I was wondering what reason could have been given for divorce! M I L??

I agree with Mr. K to an extent. Defiantly there was a communication problem. But the reason for granting divorce is suspect. I do not believe a judge would grant a divorce on such flimsy ground and that too grant custody to the mother (In USA court the father would have got a better deal). A single working parent, would not have the time to devote to the child as opposed to a parent, with grandma's support will have a better chance.

Marital separation does not seem to carry the stigma it used to many years earlier

My question is why should Divorce carry stigma. It is good that divorce does not carry stigma. An unhappy marriage is worse than Divorce.
I had a thread
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/general-discussions/9447-happily-divorced.html#post147909

Happily divorced is no longer an oxymoron. Nor does it refer to the popular American sitcom. It is the New Age definition for a small breed of urban couples who have discovered that they can be divorced and yet happy in each other’s company. Mumbai based clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr Seema Hingorani is not yet ready to call this a ‘growing trend’. “I would say only five to seven per cent of Indian couples get their post- divorce equation right. Mostly it’s those couples who have opted for divorce by mutual consent, share a friendly rapport as they don’t want their children to get messed up. But if more divorced couples are willing to work out their differences in the interests of their children, then this will be a very welcoming trend.”

 

[Raji Ram]

When I write appreciating senior citizen homes, some members here get very upset! The case I gave above proves beyond

doubt that the mother should have chosen to live in such a home, instead of her son's home! Financially dependent parents

are pitiable since they can not take any decision of their own! :sad:

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir and Prasad Sir,

I do not know on which ground the divorce was given. The court order to that guy was to shell out 25 Lakhs to the wife and

hence he had to sell his flat and pay the money. Not willing to stay in Mumbai, they shifted to Sing Chennai. This might have

been cost effective too!

 

[venkat2206]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir and Prasad Sir,

I do not know on which ground the divorce was given. The court order to that guy was to shell out 25 Lakhs to the wife and

hence he had to sell his flat and pay the money. Not willing to stay in Mumbai, they shifted to Sing Chennai. This might have

been cost effective too!

When I first read the comments of Shri Kunjuppu I got terribly annoyed - how can he call the son and the mother as "Idiotic". But on second thoughts, especially after reading Ms Raji Ram's post about old age homes, I have changed my views completely.

Vidhi Enbathu Idhuthano !!


Venkat K

 

[palindrome]

In today's world 25 lakhs is nothing. Esp if one does not have a house of her own. Its not even enough to pay donation for college admission. Wonder how the mother will arrange her daughter's wedding finances. Probably the wounded young child will grow up detesting marriage.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Very sad when a couple divorce, specially when they have a child involved.. I would have preferred that the young man should have consulted his wife and told her to be patient for a while and he would send her to vacation (mother) and take his wife somewhere and also see his mom lives with him half the time or something close to that.. I see women do not have the patience our generation had.. I know there are some of us in the US who have lived with the MIL and still some folks live with their in laws.

Disrupting a family is never the solution, unless, the husband was extremely abusive and the wife had no choice.. I feel sorry for all of them.

 

[biswa]

Everybody now has a my way or the high way mentality. Maybe the mother, son and the wife, all three had huge egos ...

 

[Raji Ram]

I remember a scene in the TV serial 'Mahabharat' (Hindi version) in which Kunti gives a bunch of keys to Draupati when she

enters the house and tells her that then on she has to manage the 'sweet home'! Though it is is a lesson for all the Ms I L,

now it is not possible to do that because of the cost of living.... The D I L might think her M I L as an extra fitting. So the best

solution is what Visu gave in his movie 'SamsAram adhu minsAram'. I really liked the point given in the climax.

Here it is:

Samsaram adhu Minsaram Climax

"Earn well and save in young age to lead a dignified life in old age!" should be the motto of youngsters, today!! :decision: