what caste am i ?

[Nad]

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Hi, My mums side is iyer, but shes married to a muslim( no caste ,converted 6 generations before).Mum has converted to muslim. I, the daughter who grew up with my maternal grandma, i am following hinduism.
When people ask me what caste i am, i dont have an answer, what should i say, should i give up being a hindu?

 

[renuka]

Hi, My mums side is iyer, but shes married to a muslim( no caste ,converted 6 generations before).Mum has converted to muslim. I, the daughter who grew up with my maternal grandma, i am following hinduism.
When people ask me what caste i am, i dont have an answer, what should i say, should i give up being a hindu?

Your ethnicity depends on your dad's ethnicity.
If he is a Tamilian then you are are also Tamilian.
Your mother is a Tamilian as you have stated.

You were born to Muslim parents since your mum converted to Islam.
When you were born you surely would have had the Shahadah recited into your ears moments after birth..that makes you a muslim by birth.

Since you grew up with your maternal grandmum you are a practicing Hindu.

Caste isn't a compulsory identification.
You dont have to give anyone an answer.

As you said rightly that your dad's side does not have caste becos they converted 6 generations ago...that itself is your answer becos Islam doesn't recognize the caste system.

Just focus on being a good person which I feel you already are.

Regarding your choice of religion..thats purely up to you.
You dont have to give up being a Hindu just becos you cant classify yourself into any known caste.
Hinduism isnt about caste.
Hinduism is about transcending all bodily identification including caste.

If you like Hinduism stay on..if not you can always explore Islam.
If you dont like both choose something else that makes you happy.

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear friend,
Be happy at what you are or what you want to be. Creator doesn't have caste. Truth is inside us and not outside . Follow the preachings of all religions and be a good human being with compassion and love towards all living beings.
Human birth is greatest gift of nature, We should not waste it on frivolous things. Derive happiness by sharing our wealth and knowledge with the needy.
Wishing you all the best.
Brahmanyan.

 

[krish44]

Pragmatically considering it is preferable to follow the religion practised by the majority community in the country
It will lead to better social acceptance.
If possible get educated in convent school in english medium and head for a country in western world which has a large indian population like all other youngsters.of your age group.
Settling there would be the best option for a better life where your religious identity does not count much
In india we tend to look at everything from caste and religious angle.
Best wishes

 

[tbs]

Dear friend,
Be happy at what you are or what you want to be. Creator doesn't have caste. Truth is inside us and not outside . Follow the preachings of all religions and be a good human being with compassion and love towards all living beings.
Human birth is greatest gift of nature, We should not waste it on frivolous things. Derive happiness by sharing our wealth and knowledge with the needy.
Wishing you all the best.
Brahmanyan.

hi

i agreed sir....

 

[Nad]

Dear friend,
Be happy at what you are or what you want to be. Creator doesn't have caste. Truth is inside us and not outside . Follow the preachings of all religions and be a good human being with compassion and love towards all living beings.
Human birth is greatest gift of nature, We should not waste it on frivolous things. Derive happiness by sharing our wealth and knowledge with the needy.
Wishing you all the best.
Brahmanyan.

Pragmatically considering it is preferable to follow the religion practised by the majority community in the country
It will lead to better social acceptance.
If possible get educated in convent school in english medium and head for a country in western world which has a large indian population like all other youngsters.of your age group.
Settling there would be the best option for a better life where your religious identity does not count much
In india we tend to look at everything from caste and religious angle.
Best wishes

well i differ from that because when i was living in India, this thought never crossed my mind, people have not asked me such questions, maybe dravidianism was much then.
Now living in a foreign country, i am encountered with such questions, since people tend to form groups here and its hard to fit into a group due to the question have asked. so Tamilnadu is far far better than foreign countries. People couldn't fathom the fact that my parents were inter religion, they simply couldn't understand it, quite funny, how we say Indians living in foreign countries are mature, whereas from personal experience people in TN are far accepting.

Also i am happy with my life. since Indian people in this foreign country kept asking me what caste i am, i didnt have an answer myself. I wanted to clarify here since people are very knowledgeable here with the hindu religion.

Thanks for your support.

 

[prasad1]

Hi, My mums side is iyer, but shes married to a muslim( no caste ,converted 6 generations before).Mum has converted to muslim. I, the daughter who grew up with my maternal grandma, i am following hinduism.
When people ask me what caste i am, i dont have an answer, what should i say, should i give up being a hindu?

You are human.
You can identify with anything else you choose.
Choose wisely.

 

[Nad]

Yes, i am human, i identify myself as human too.No one is saying caste is right or wrong here, understand the question first.

Its easy to say human being, we are talking about real life not some fantasy.
As you are well aware in our society caste doesn't kick in until the time your getting arranged marriage, thats when people start to nit pick, and whole question of caste rises.

 

[renuka]

well i differ from that because when i was living in India, this thought never crossed my mind, people have not asked me such questions, maybe dravidianism was much then.
Now living in a foreign country, i am encountered with such questions, since people tend to form groups here and its hard to fit into a group due to the question have asked. so Tamilnadu is far far better than foreign countries. People couldn't fathom the fact that my parents were inter religion, they simply couldn't understand it, quite funny, how we say Indians living in foreign countries are mature, whereas from personal experience people in TN are far accepting.

Also i am happy with my life. since Indian people in this foreign country kept asking me what caste i am, i didnt have an answer myself. I wanted to clarify here since people are very knowledgeable here with the hindu religion.

Thanks for your support.

Since you are staying in another country which I assume must be a western country becos only in western countries those from India tend to be clannish.

Frankly speaking there is no issue at all then..so it makes me wonder why you felt you might need to give up Hinduism?

In a western country there is no laws for any religion.
If you were born in a Muslim country the law wouldnt have permitted you to be anything else but a Muslim since technically you are muslim by birth.

So honestly speaking you have the best of both worlds..that is you have an inter-religious mind set and also living in a western country which confers freedom of any religion(hence you are a practicing Hindu) and also you said people in TN are more accepting.

No worries at all..stay happy.
Salam Namaste.

 

[krish44]

Nad you have a wrong notion that TN people are more accepting inter religion parentage.Not true really
With the present scenario if you have inter faith background stay in a western democracy with liberal values.
Morever your friendship need not be restricted to indians alone.

 

[Lotusinsanskrit]

From your profile it says Sydney and I hope those who talk about foreign land also much knew about US only and immigration to this country is not much and I feel your problem will be only on religion and not on caste. You have to choose either muslim or hindu. If you choose hindu automatically it is your mother caste. If you choose muslim then it need it be any caste.

 

[krish44]

Even with change of tag from hindu to muslim does not change caste. If one is dalit muslim he is treated differently from other muslim. Besides there are the Shia and Sunni divisions. Also further classifications like Sheikh , Sued etc are there..It is not brotherhood and equality as envisaged by founder of Islam

 

[Kunti]

Hi, My mums side is iyer, but shes married to a muslim( no caste ,converted 6 generations before).Mum has converted to muslim. I, the daughter who grew up with my maternal grandma, i am following hinduism.
When people ask me what caste i am, i dont have an answer, what should i say, should i give up being a hindu?

Sorry for butting in, but I have the same question essentially but my mother is iyengar(vadakalai and dad's BC, (I think?)
Anyways my parents got divorced when I was 13 and my mom got full custody of me and I've been living with my maternal grandparents since I was 12! I'm 21 now

The thing is my parents have reconciled and are planning on getting married which is none of my business but it has brought unnecessary things to light.

For Ex. My maternal grandparents are saying that my real grandparents will always be my dad's side which quite hurtful cuz they're all I had for years. I never spoke to my dad or his side until like 2 years ago when my parents reconciled.

I am legally iyengar, I have no doubt there. But my grandparents won't accept that I'm their legal granddaughter or that I'm part of their gothram or caste or anything. They say that I'm not their granddaughter and they have no rights at all over me, and that my father's caste is mine and all that.

And they also bring up this story of how acharya forbid M.S. subbalakshmi from wearing a madisar because she wasn't iyer!

Help please, I'm confused, hurt, and need guidance.

 

[renuka]

Sorry for butting in, but I have the same question essentially but my mother is iyengar(vadakalai and dad's BC, (I think?)
Anyways my parents got divorced when I was 13 and my mom got full custody of me and I've been living with my maternal grandparents since I was 12! I'm 21 now

The thing is my parents have reconciled and are planning on getting married which is none of my business but it has brought unnecessary things to light.

For Ex. My maternal grandparents are saying that my real grandparents will always be my dad's side which quite hurtful cuz they're all I had for years. I never spoke to my dad or his side until like 2 years ago when my parents reconciled.

I am legally iyengar, I have no doubt there. But my grandparents won't accept that I'm their legal granddaughter or that I'm part of their gothram or caste or anything. They say that I'm not their granddaughter and they have no rights at all over me, and that my father's caste is mine and all that.

And they also bring up this story of how acharya forbid M.S. subbalakshmi from wearing a madisar because she wasn't iyer!

Help please, I'm confused, hurt, and need guidance.

The best is not attach importance to bodily identification and just focus on being YOU.
Legally you are so and so daughter of so and so and your caste Identity for legal purpose would be your dad's caste.

But thats just the legal identity.

Your true identity is what you are as an individual and not what others decide you to be or not to be.

In this world we humans are actually very superficial.
Remember when Ashtavakra walked into the court of King Janaka and all scholars there laughed at him becos he was deformed?
Then Ashtavakra said that he is in an assembly of cobblers becos everyone is interested only in his skin like how a cobbler would be interested in leather.

So the moral of the story is..let superficial people remain that way...partly becos they could have fear of what others might think.

You dont have to feel you dont have an identity.
No need to identify yourself as iyengar or BC or mixed caste..just be YOU!

Finally in life even realization is at an atmic level of Ko' ham( who am I)..
If caste really mattered the question would have been kah varno' ham( which varna am I)

Stay blessed.

 

[Lotusinsanskrit]

am legally iyengar, I have no doubt there. But my grandparents won't accept that I'm their legal granddaughter or that I'm part of their gothram or caste or anything. They say that I'm not their granddaughter and they have no rights at all over me, and that my father's caste is mine and all that.

It really looks strange to me. In this era in inter caste marriages people are even performing upanayanam for boys who born out of wedlock of like you. So it means the children of intercaste wedlock can follow any of the parents caste. And particularly for girls you need not worry about which caste you may choose and though it is your option you are very much choose to be an Iyengar( and for this purpose even manusmriti says you are very much eligible to marry brahmin boys and you should do it.). Many did not aware of this rule and say one has to automatically follow father's side and as per Manu you have to continue your mother's clan. I hope this will help you solving your doubt

 

[tbs]

It really looks strange to me. In this era in inter caste marriages people are even performing upanayanam for boys who born out of wedlock of like you. So it means the children of intercaste wedlock can follow any of the parents caste. And particularly for girls you need not worry about which caste you may choose and though it is your option you are very much choose to be an Iyengar( and for this purpose even manusmriti says you are very much eligible to marry brahmin boys and you should do it.). Many did not aware of this rule and say one has to automatically follow father's side and as per Manu you have to continue your mother's clan. I hope this will help you solving your doubt

hi

Manu you have to continue your mother's clan.

in kerala...mother's clan is more important than father's clan.....so its well valid...its called

in malayalam as MARUMAKKATHAYAM...i think kerala is ONLY STATE....even laws are approved..

 

[prasad1]

In Tamil Nadu, you have no advantage in choosing the Brahmin caste.
So again to be practical know the surroundings and use the right caste to your advantage. Do read up and be prepared to be quizzed. My nephew's father is a Christian, so technically he has no caste, but had his poonal, so whenever he wants to visit Temple in south India he can pass himself as a Brahmin, even if he looks like a fair Englishman.