over 35 years ago, i was travelling to madras from bombay dadar express. it was late afternoon, and from arakonam, got into our compartment, a madisar mami widowed, a little girl and a young man.
the youngster appeared petrified, and throughout the journey, the mami was consoling and encouraging him. told him that this is not a frightening experience, the girl's father would not probe him with questions etc etc.
it taught me one thing: our boys are eunuched when it comes to girls. it appears still so, considering the numbers of them trying to find spouses themselves.
having said that, from what i heard, this was often demeaning the girl in the not so distant past. not only had she to dress up, parade herself, but also sing, display any other talent, all under the groping eyes of utter strangers. and face ultimate rejection too, after all the effort, and the expenses of coffeebajjisojji.
i had made up my mind to marry whosoever my mom selected. so it was a straight forward affair. it was only when i said that i wanted a civil or temple wedding, that the powers to be, intervened and vetoed it. from then on, i lost control.
my uncle, who was supposed to be a good catch, saw 18 girls before settling on my aunt. this was 50 years ago.
ps.. why did you call this thread 'things that i did not enjoy'. should it be not 'things i missed out in life'?