Some jokes

[praveen]

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Question: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Answer: The umbrella. Interviewer: What will happen if I cut off one of your ears?
Punit: I won’t be able to hear too well.
Interviewer: And if I cut off both your ears?
Punit: I won’t be able to see too well.
Interviewer: How can that be?
Punit: My glasses will slip down my nose.

Customer: Give me one kilo mustard oil.
Shopkeeper: Here it is.
Customer: What about the free gift on offer?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, but there are no free gifts.
Customer: Do you think I am a fool? It is clearly written on the label, ‘Cholesterol free’.
Question: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: It was not ‘peeling’ well.

Sunil: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Sumit: So, what did you finally do?
Sunil: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.

Jenny: Ma’am, what is the meaning of go down?
Teacher: Warehouse
Jenny: Then ma’am, what is the meaning of go up?

Suman: What is the difference between man and superman?
Vishal: Man wears his underwear underneath his trousers and superman wears it outside his trousers.

A loud noise was heard from a house. The police arrived.
Police: Who is the owner of this house?
One of them: That is what we are trying to decide.

An elephant was playing with an ant.
Elephant: Oh, no! My mom is coming.
Ant: So, why are you scared?
Elephant: I’ll tell you later. Do something now.
Ant: Okay! Come and hide behind me.

Teacher: Name an animal which is not scared of the lion.
Ajay: A lioness.

 

[mythreyi]

:laugh: hai !
enjoyed

 

[NARAS]

Sorry Romba Over!!!!
-----------------------

Question : How To Become A Father Without Having Any Children?

Answer : Become A 'rationalist'!!! People Will Automatically Call You As 'thanthai' Even If You Do Not Have Any Children!!!!

 

[NARAS]

Idhuvum Romba Over Dhaan! Sorry Please!!!

Sorry Romba Over!!!!
-----------------------

Question : How To Become A Father Without Having Any Children?

Answer : Become A 'rationalist'!!! People Will Automatically Call You As 'thanthai' Even If You Do Not Have Any Children!!!!

sir - this is about a person who called himself as 'rationalist', 'atheist', 'reformer' & even 'father'(though he did not have any issues at all!). this fellow hated bramins so much that he did not take bath in his life time at all, because bramins emphasised on being clean, and being a bramin baiter, this fellow did not want to respect what bramins said!!! this fellow had 2 wives. it is said the stench from the fellow was so unbearable that, whenever the fellow went near his wives, these women would run away terrified and petrified!!! no wonder the fellow remained issueless!!!

 

[gurumurthyji]

Question : How To Become A Father Without Having Any Children?

Maruthi sir!!!!!!!!!!! Odi vango!!!!!!!!!!!!!Seekiram odi vango!!!!!!!!!!
Suresh sir is struggling to become father without children ????????????
Now is the chance???!!!! bring back your christian brahmin alliance theory.
It is very easy to become a father without having any children!!!!!!!!!!

 

[NARAS]

A 'rationalist' Went To see An English Film. The Film Is About A Barber Living In London. The 'rationalist' remarked "'in English Films Even Barbers Live In London!!!'"

 

[NARAS]

Some Bitter Truths!!!!!

A 'rationalist' Went To An English Film. The Film Is About A Barber Living In London. The 'rationalist' Remarked 'in English Films Even Barbers Live In London!!!'

FATHER PERIAR - Probably the only person in the world whose age was almost equivalent to the age of his father in law!!!!

'Mother' Maniyamma - the only women in the world, the age of whose husband was more than the age of her own father!!!!!

 

[NARAS]

FATHER PERIAR - Probably the only person in the world whose age was almost equivalent to the age of his father in law!!!!

'Mother' Maniyamma - the only women in the world, the age of whose husband was more than the age of her own father!!!!!

QUESTION : Karunanidhi says his rule is 'golden period' of t.nad. is this true?

ANSWER : YES! 100% TRUE. THIS RULE IS 'GOLDEN PERIOD'- BUT NOT FOR T.NADU! FOR HIS FAMILY ALONE!!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION : Karunanidhi says his rule iS 'golden period' of t.nad. is this true?

ANSWER : YES! 100% TRUE. THIS RULE IS 'GOLDEN PERIOD'- BUT NOT FOR T.NADU! FOR HIS FAMILY ALONE!!!!

QUESTION - WHY ARE PRIESTS IN CHRISTIANITY CALLED AS 'FATHER'???

Answer - because they father hatred against other religions!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION - WHY ARE PRIESTS IN CHRISTIANITY CALLED AS 'FATHER'???

Answer - because they father hatred against other religions!!!

QUESTION- why is it that founding fathers of 'rationalism' are uneducated?

ANSWER - it is not because of being 'rationalists' that they are uneducated. it is the other way round! they became 'rationalists' because they are uneducated!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION- why is it that founding fathers of 'rationalism' are uneducated?

ANSWER - it is not because of being 'rationalists' that they are uneducated. it is the other way round! they became 'rationalists' because they are uneducated!!!

QUESTION: IS THERE AN EASY SOLUTION TO KASHMIR DISPUTE? HOW CAN INDIA'S BORDER DISPUTE WITH CHINA RESOLVED?

'RATIONALIST' : KASHMIR PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED BY ME IN 10 MINUTES! JUST HANDOVER KASHMIR TO PAKISTAN! THE KASHMIR PROBLEM WILL BE OVER FOR INDIA! LIKE THAT HANDOVER THE AREAS IN INDIA CLAIMED BY CHINA TO CHINESE GOVERNMENT! THE BORDER DISPUTE ALSO WILL BE OVER IN 10 MINUTES!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION: IS THERE AN EASY SOLUTION TO KASHMIR DISPUTE? HOW CAN INDIA'S BORDER DISPUTE WITH CHINA RESOLVED?

'RATINALIST' : KASHMIR PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED BY ME IN 10 MINUTES! JUST HANDOVER KASHMIR TO PAKISTAN! THE KASHMIR PROBLEM WILL BE OVER FOR INDIA! LIKE THAT HANDOVER THE AREAS IN INDIA CLAIMED BY CHINA TO CHINESE GOVERNMENT! THE BORDER DISPUTE ALSO WILL BE OVER IN 10 MINUTES!!!

SIR - A 'RATIONALIST' WENT TO A PARK. IT WAS MENTIONED IN THE PARK 'PLEASE DO NOT PLUCK ANY FLOWERS'. THE 'RATIONALIST' TOOK AWAY A FLOWER POT WITH HIM. WHEN QUESTIONED HE SAID 'I HAVE NOT PLUCKED ANY FLOWERS. I AM ONLY TAKING THE FLOWER POT ITSELF, WHICH IS NOT PROHIBITED IN THE WARNING MESSAGE!!!'

 

[NARAS]

SIR - A 'RATIONALIST' WENT TO A PARK. IT WAS MENTIONED IN THE PARK 'PLEASE DO NOT PLUCK ANY FLOWERS'. THE 'RATIONALIST' TOOK AWAY A FLOWER POT WITH HIM. WHEN QUESTIONED HE SAID 'I HAVE NOT PLUCKED ANY FLOWERS. I AM ONLY TAKING THE FLOWER POT ITSELF, WHICH IS NOT PROHIBITED IN THE WARNING MESSAGE!!!'

SIR - A 'RATIONALIST' WENT TO A BANK WITH HIS FRIEND. . IT WAS MENTIONED IN A NOTICE BOARD BY THE BANK 'PLEASE SWITCH OFF YOUR CELLPHONE INSIDE THE BANK PREMISES'. BUT THE 'RATIONALIST' WAS USING THE CELLPHONE INSIDE BANK PREMISES. WHEN QUESTIONED HE SAID' THE NOTICE SAYS TO SWITCH OFF 'YOUR' CELLPHONE. BUT THIS IS NOT MY CELLPHONE. THIS IS MY FRIEND'S CELLPHONE. SO I HAVE NOT SWITCHED IT OFF!!!'

 

[NARAS]

SIR - A 'RATIONALIST' WENT TO A BANK WITH HIS FRIEND. . IT WAS MENTIONED IN A NOTICE BOARD BY THE BANK 'PLEASE SWITCH OFF YOUR CELLPHONE INSIDE THE BANK PREMISES'. BUT THE 'RATIONALIST' WAS USING THE CELLPHONE INSIDE BANK PREMISES. WHEN QUESTIONED HE SAID' THE NOTICE SAYS TO SWITCH OFF 'YOUR' CELLPHONE. BUT THIS IS NOT MY CELLPHONE. THIS IS MY FRIEND'S CELLPHONE. SO I HAVE NOT SWITCHED IT OFF!!!'

SIR - IT WAS RAINING VERY HEAVILY. BUT A 'RATIONALIST' DID NOT USE HIS RAINCOAT INSPITE OF HAVING IT WITH HIM. WHEN ASKED WHY, HE SAID' THIS IS A NEW RAINCOAT PURCHASED ONLY TODAY. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE DRENCHED BY RAIN!!!!'

 

[NARAS]

SIR - IT WAS RAINING VERY HEAVILY. BUT A 'RATIONALIST' DID NOT USE HIS RAINCOAT INSPITE OF HAVING IT WITH HIM. WHEN ASKED WHY, HE SAID' THIS IS A NEW RAINCOAT PURCHASED ONLY TODAY. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE DRENCHED BY RAIN!!!!'

QUESTION - I HAVE TO GIVE RS.500/- EACH TO 2 PERSONS. BUT NOW I HAVE A 1000/- RUPEE NOTE.WHAT TO DO?

'RATIONALIST': TEAR OFF THE NOTE INTO 2 PIECES AND GIVE ONE EACH TO THE 2 FELLOWS!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION - I HAVE TO GIVE RS.500/- EACH TO 2 PERSONS. BUT NOW I HAVE A 1000/- RUPEE NOTE.WHAT TO DO?

'RATIONALIST': TEAR OFF THE NOTE INTO 2 PIECES AND GIVE ONE EACH TO THE 2 FELLOWS!!!

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS HAVING 3 NOS. 5OO RUPEE NOTES. HIS FRIEND WAS HAVING 2 NOS. 1000 RUPEES NOTES. 'RATIONALIST' CLAIMED HE WAS THE PERSON WITH MORE MONEY BECAUSE 'I HAVE 3 NOTES COMPARED TO ONLY 2 WHICH MY FRIEND IS HAVING!!!'

 

[NARAS]

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS HAVING 3 NOS. 5OO RUPEE NOTES. HIS FRIEND WAS HAVING 2 NOS. 1000 RUPEES NOTES. 'RATIONALIST' CLAIMED HE WAS THE PERSON WITH MORE MONEY BECAUSE 'I HAVE 3 NOTES COMPARED TO ONLY 2 WHICH MY FRIEND IS HAVING!!!'

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS AN OFFICER IN A BANK. HE HAD TO SIGN A CHEQUE OF CURRENT ACCOUNT OF HIS BANK. HE SIGNED THE CHEQUE 2 TIMES. WHEN QUESTIONED BE SAID 'THE MANAGER HAS TOLD ME THAT THE CHEQUE WILL BE VALID ONLY IF IT CONTAINS 2 SIGNATURES!!!!!'

 

[NARAS]

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS AN OFFICER IN A BANK. HE HAD TO SIGN A CHEQUE OF CURRENT ACCONT OF HIS BANK. HE SIGNED THE CHEQUE 2 TIMES. WHEN QUESTIONED BE SAID 'THE MANAGER HAS TOLD ME THAT THE CHEQUE WILL BE VALID ONLY IF IT CONTAINS 2 SIGNATURES!!!!!'

Mr. RATIONALIST WENT TO A BANK TO ENCASH A CHEQUE GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS WIFE. BUT HIS WIFE FORGET TO SIGN THE CHEQUE. BANK OFFICIALS TOLD HIM THAT THE CHEQUE CAN BE ENCASHED ONLY IF THE SIGN OF HIS WIFE IS PRESENT ON THE CHEQUE. IMMEDIATELY 'RATIONALIST' FORGED HIS WIFE'S SIGNATURE ON THE CHEQUE. WHEN BANK OFFICIALS PROTESTED 'RATIONALIST' SAID 'YOU ONLY ASKED FOR MY WIFE'S SIGNATURE IN THE CHEQUES. YOU DID NOT SAY SHE SHOULD SIGN IT HERSELF'!!!!

 

[NARAS]

Mr. RATIONALIST WENT TO A BANK TO ENCASH A CHEQUE GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS WIFE. BUT HIS WIFE FORGET TO SIGN THE CHEQUE. BANK OFFICIALS TOLD HIM THAT THE CHEQUE CAN BE ENCASHED ONLY IF THE SIGN OF HIS WIFE IS PRESENT ON THE CHEQUE. IMMEDIATELY 'RATIONALIST' FORGED HIS WIFE'S SIGNATURE ON THE CHEQUE. WHEN BANK OFFICIALS PROTESTED 'RATIONALIST' SAID 'YOU ONLY ASKED FOR MY WIFE'S SIGNATURE IN THE CHEQUES. YOU DID NOT SAY SHE SHOULD SIGN IT HERSELF'!!!!

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS DRIVING A VEHICLE UNDER INFLUENCE OF LIQUOR. WHEN POLICE CAUGHT HIM, HE DEFENDED HIMSELF ' LAW SAYS YOU SHOULD NOT DRINK & DRIVE. I FIRST STARTED DRIVING THE VEHICLE , AND ONLY THEN DRINKED LIQUOR. SO IT IS NOT AN OFFENCE'!!!!

(THIS IS NOT TO JUSTIFY OR GLORIFY DRINKING. I AM ONLY SAYING IT IS POINTLESS TO BAN DRINKING WHILST DRIVING ALONE. YOU SHOULD ENFORCE TOTAL PROHIBITION & BAN DRINKING THROUGHOUT!!!)

 

[NARAS]

Mr. RATIONALIST WAS DRIVING A VEHICLE UNDER INFLUENCE OF LIQUOR. WHEN POLICE CAUGHT HIM, HE DEFENDED HIMSELF ' LAW SAYS YOU SHOULD NOT DRINK & DRIVE. I FIRST STARTED DRIVING THE VEHICLE , AND ONLY THEN DRINKED LIQUOR. SO IT IS NOT AN OFFENCE'!!!!

'RATIONALIST' : FATHER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FIRST NIGHT?

FATHER - SON! AFTER BETROTHAL, MARRIAGE & ALL OTHER FUNCTIONS, THIS WILL BE THE LAST EVENT.

'RATIONALIST'- IF IT IS LAST THEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING IT FIRST NIGHT???

FATHER:??????

 

[NARAS]

'RATIONALIST' : FATHER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FIRST NIGHT?

FATHER - SON! AFTER BETROTHAL, MARRIAGE & ALL OTHER FUNCTIONS, THIS WILL BE THE LAST EVENT.

'RATIONALIST'- IF IT IS LAST THEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING IT FIRST NIGHT???

FATHER:??????

sir- a women & two men - all of them 'rationalists' were abusing & quarelling with each other. a child was crying seeing all this. a man came to the child and asked 'who is this woman?'. the child replied 'she is my mother'. the man then asked 'who is your father?' the child said 'that is what they are quarelling about!!!!!'

(SORRY A BIT TOO MUCH!!!)

 

[hariharan1972]

Favourites

Guess what could be favourites of DMK follower


a) Favourite Song - "Manjal" veyil malaiyile - Vettaiyadu Vilayadu

b) Favourite Disease (!) - "Manjal" Kaamalai

c) Favourite Function - "Manjal" Neerattu vizha

d) Favourite Magazine(s) - "Manjal" Pathrikkaigal

e) Favourite Actress - "Manj(u)la"

f) Favourite Farm land - "Manja"kkadu

g) Favourite Sport - "Manj(u)" virattu

h) Favourite River - "Yellow" river in China

i) Favourite Bull - "Manja" kalai

j) Favourite Male name - "Manju"nathan

 

[NARAS]

sir- a women & two men - all of them 'rationalists' were abusing & quarelling with each other. a child was crying seeing all this. a man came to the child and asked 'who is this woman?'. the child replied 'she is my mother'. the man then asked 'who is your father?' the child said 'that is what they are quarelling about!!!!!'

(SORRY A BIT TOO MUCH!!!)

QUESTION = if you fall at the feet of god , it means you are a religious person. but if you fall at sonia maino gandhi's feet what does that mean?

ANSWER - That means you are prime minister of india!!!!!

(SORRY! AGAIN ROMBA OVER!!!!)

 

[NARAS]

Too Much! But Only For Fun!!!!

QUESTION = if you fall at the feet of god , it means you are a religious person. but if you fall at sonia maino gandhi's feet what does that mean?

ANSWER - That means you are prime minister of india!!!!!

(SORRY! AGAIN ROMBA OVER!!!!)

QUESTION - WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SACHIN TENDULKAR & SONIA GANDHI???

ANSWER - SACHIN TENDULKAR SMASHES THE BALL AS HE LIKES !!
SONIA THRASHES MANAMOHAN SINGH AS SHE LIKES!!!!!!

 

[NARAS]

QUESTION - WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SACHIN TENDULKAR & SONIA GANDHI???

ANSWER - SACHIN TENDULKAR SMASHES THE BALL AS HE LIKES !!
SONIA THRASHES MANAMOHAN SINGH AS SHE LIKES!!!!!!

QUESTION - WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A BONDED LABOURER, A SLAVE & A SACRIFICIAL GOAT???


ANSWER - BONDED LABOURER - MANAMOHAN SINGH OF YESTERDAY!

SLAVE - MANAMOHAN OF TODAY!!

SACRIFICIAL GOAT- MANAMOHAN OF TOMORROW!!!