Sex - what do we understand?

[pannvalan]

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As I had mentioned in another thread, I submit a brief write-up on the subject.

 

[C RAVI]

Sri pannvalan ji,

Thank you for this article. It would certainly help some one to understand what sex is? I believe majority of grown up and matured people are aware of this sexual urge and its role in Human life.

I would like to request you to express your views & purpose of this posting, so that we all can actively participate in this interesting thread and share some valuable information.

I thank you in anticipation...

 

[renuka]

Sri pannvalan ji,

Thank you for this article. It would certainly help some one to understand what sex is? I believe majority of grown up and matured people are aware of this sexual urge and its role in Human life.

I would like to request you to express your views & purpose of this posting, so that we all can actively participate in this interesting thread and share some valuable information.

I thank you in anticipation...

Dear Raviji,

Sex isnt all that much to understand really....
Its just a basic human instinct...

Sex prior to marriage is just testing.
Sex after marriage is adjusting.
Sex outside marriage is scandalizing...

arty:

 

[C RAVI]

Dr.Renuka ji,

Absolutely true.

As you have stated, Sex have different purpose and impact in different stages of one's life as per one's need.

But why Sex outside marriage is considered to be scandalizing?

We all know why it is considered to be scandalizing without any contradicting opinion.

My point is, why some people are too much into sex before marriage and sex outside marriage?

Is that a hobby of some people or it's beyond one’s control on his/her sexual appetite?

If a person have so much of lust, I believe there must be some bodily chemical reactions that is shooting up.

Should such people be considered to have lack of self control OR should be considered as helpless patient?

Is there any systematic cure for such people to keep their sexual appetite in control safely without any negative reactions, making him/her impotent?

I have put forward all these questions because, we could see around us, how sex has its impacts on Human life....It not only spoils one's own life but put others in relationship into shame, agony and loosing the loved one's....It may be loosing one's son or daughter, one’s bother/sister, one's wife/husband, one's friend, one’s talented employee etc..etc..

 

[renuka]

Dr.Renuka ji,

Absolutely true.

As you have stated, Sex have different purpose and impact in different stages of one's life as per one's need.

But why Sex outside marriage is considered to be scandalizing?

We all know why it is considered to be scandalizing without any contradicting opinion.

My point is, why some people are too much into sex before marriage and sex outside marriage?

Is that a hobby of some people or it's beyond one’s control on his/her sexual appetite?

If a person have so much of lust, I believe there must be some bodily chemical reactions that is shooting up.

Should such people be considered to have lack of self control OR should be considered as helpless patient?

Is there any systematic cure for such people to keep their sexual appetite in control safely without any negative reactions, making him/her impotent?

I have put forward all these questions because, we could see around us, how sex has its impacts on Human life....It not only spoils one's own life but put others in relationship into shame, agony and loosing the loved one's....It may be loosing one's son or daughter, one’s bother/sister, one's wife/husband, one's friend, one’s talented employee etc..etc..

Aiyoo Ravi....I wont answer any of these questions....too taxing to the human mind.....
Let people do anything they want....

Dont worry Be Happy...

renu

 

[C RAVI]

Dr.Renuka ji

Iam absolutely happy....

I thought some valuable feedback/suggestions of yours may help some of us to get to know some valuable information.

 

[renuka]

Dr.Renuka ji

Iam absolutely happy....

I thought some valuable feedback/suggestions of yours may help some of us to get to know some valuable information.

Dear Raviji,

Nowadays I dont feel like thinking too hard anymore...I just want to watch the world go by and dont want to wonder what makes it go by.......

renu

 

[RVR]

Jokes

I am giving below some jokes involving sex which actually happened.

I had a British visitor long back. I picked him from the airport and drove to a hotel. At the reception before checking in, the Britisher was asked to fill a form about his details. There was a column `sex' in the form. The Britisher filled it silently with the word `Don't mind'. The receptionist was shocked and I have to intervene and correct is as `Male'.


I attended one seminar and a lawyer who addressed the seminar claimed that legal profession is one of the oldest practicing profession. One of the participant immediately reacted saying `No sir. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world'

All the best

 

[hariharan1972]

ravi ji,

would you mind some 'out of the box' answers from me since dr renuka ji wants to go easy on this.

But why Sex outside marriage is considered to be scandalizing?

2 ways of looking at this.....

one, how else would tabloids, star dust, film fare, femina, woman's era etc.. survive ?

two, many strongly feel the need for love in sex. since we are given to "believe" that marriage is an institution of love, ignoring it for pure carnal desire seems scandalizing.

My point is, why some people are too much into sex before marriage and sex outside marriage?

some ? i doubt that.....

i dont think there can be a cap on libido...nor does this have anything to do with age....we have examples at both end of the spectrum....N2N...nithyananda to n d tiwari...

sex i dont think can be rationed though it is a fact that celibacy is an essential ingredient for realization.

Is that a hobby of some people or it's beyond one’s control on his/her sexual appetite?

well, if one looks at n d tiwari, it sure appears to be a hobby...even gandhi, i read did some weird (atleast what appears to us) experiments on understanding his sexual urge....

at the end of the day, it boils down to have will, have fun.

If a person have so much of lust, I believe there must be some bodily chemical reactions that is shooting up.

probably yes....manasa..iccha...vasa (or some such thing)....but the apparatus is the brain

Should such people be considered to have lack of self control OR should be considered as helpless patient?

i dont know whether sexual activeness qualifies as a disease to call someone a patient..even for n d tiwari...but lacking in self control....may be yes.

Is there any systematic cure for such people to keep their sexual appetite in control safely without any negative reactions, making him/her impotent?

making someone impotent...gosh that's scary...too harsh...

i dont know whether this needs a cure except when their desire transgresses into something illegal such as forced sex etc... i probably think that bottled up emotions are more harmful.

end of the day, as they say there is no divinity in virginity it probably reflects lack of opportunity.

and abstinence is only 99.99% fool proof, a certain mary could testify

 

[amala]

end of the day, as they say there is no divinity in virginity it probably reflects lack of opportunity.

and abstinence is only 99.99% fool proof, a certain mary could testify

I beg to differ with you if I may with regards to virginity reflecting a loack of opportunity. It depends where one lives, culture and gender. I would say that may be the case for some men, its not really for women ie people are virgin just because of lack of opportunity.

It may surprise you that many people chose to be virgin before marriage entirely on principle or for whatever reason, in spite of having the opportunity.

Its a hard life. Die if you do and die if you don't.

 

[renuka]

Dear Raviji,

I will tell you an interesting story...true story...
when i was working in a different set up before...many years ago..I had a male patient who had seen many doctors in the same hospital for a skin rash which was never going..his face was the most affected...

I saw him a couple of times..this guy was a male but wanted to become female so badly and was effiminate types...
One day i noticed that with each visit his breast was getting bigger and he could put any female to shame...
I asked him if he was taking any hormonal supplement and he said he was taking oral contraceptive pills to become more feminine and from further examination i found out it was the cause of the rash as it coincided with the onset of the pills...

So i diagnosed him with oral contraceptive allergy...
all the other doctors were suprised..they were "How the hell did you diagnose this in a male? who would ever think a male was on Oral contraceptive Pills?"
None of them had noticed his breast..thats all..

Ravi..you wanted to know how to castrate someone...
well chemical castration...Intramuscular Injection of Medroxyprogesterone Acetate 150mg every 3 months....
dont worry its not practised for exccesive desire...its just info for you...

 

[C RAVI]

I am giving below some jokes involving sex which actually happened.

I had a British visitor long back. I picked him from the airport and drove to a hotel. At the reception before checking in, the Britisher was asked to fill a form about his details. There was a column `sex' in the form. The Britisher filled it silently with the word `Don't mind'. The receptionist was shocked and I have to intervene and correct is as `Male'.

A very interesting and realistic joke...

I attended one seminar and a lawyer who addressed the seminar claimed that legal profession is one of the oldest practicing profession. One of the participant immediately reacted saying `No sir. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world'

Though its a joke, there is a valid point..

All the best

Sri RVR ji,

Thanks for sharing your jokes with us.

This reminds me one joke that I came across few years ago..

A police man makes an attempt to arrest a lady..

LADY : Why you want me to arrest?
POLICE : You are into sex trade
LADY : No sir, I am not a prostitute...I am a sales women and
demonstrating the use of condom.

 

[tbs]

hi folks,
kamasutra ...is a beautiful text written by sage vatsyana....like
food ..sex is neccessary...its part of life...i read original sanskrit
text ..kamasutra... a beautiful sastra...sex is nothing wrong..
if it is wrong...we are not in the world...every human being born
with sexual acts..its truth....but the problem is..sex before marriage
is an offence?...after marriage somebody does not do sex...is an offence?...killing a person is called a murderer...but killing thousands
in war is called warrior/soldier....with promotion/medal...but both
are killers....likewise the act of sex.....a beautiful sanskrit sloka..

AAHARA NIDRA BAYA MAITHUNAM SAMANYAMETHATH PASUBIR NARAANAM....

meaning food/sleep/fear/sex are common in man and animals..
but only viveka is important for human being...which is not in animals....my 2 cents...

regards
tbs

 

[renuka]

hi folks,
kamasutra ...is a beautiful text written by sage vatsyana....like
food ..sex is neccessary...its part of life...i read original sanskrit
text ..kamasutra... a beautiful sastra...sex is nothing wrong..
if it is wrong...we are not in the world...every human being born
with sexual acts..its truth....but the problem is..sex before marriage
is an offence?...after marriage somebody does not do sex...is an offence?...killing a person is called a murderer...but killing thousands
in war is called warrior/soldier....with promotion/medal...but both
are killers....likewise the act of sex.....a beautiful sanskrit sloka..

AAHARA NIDRA BAYA MAITHUNAM SAMANYAMETHATH PASUBIR NARAANAM....

meaning food/sleep/fear/sex are common in man and animals..
but only viveka is important for human being...which is not in animals....my 2 cents...

regards
tbs

Dear TBSji,

Even I have read the Kamasutra before...and could not help noticing all the gravity defying poses...I wonder why India has never got a gold medal in gymnastics before in the Olympics....
ha ha ha
renu

 

[C RAVI]

ravi ji,

would you mind some 'out of the box' answers from me since dr renuka ji wants to go easy on this.

But why Sex outside marriage is considered to be scandalizing?

2 ways of looking at this.....

one, how else would tabloids, star dust, film fare, femina, woman's era etc.. survive ?

two, many strongly feel the need for love in sex. since we are given to "believe" that marriage is an institution of love, ignoring it for pure carnal desire seems scandalizing.

My point is, why some people are too much into sex before marriage and sex outside marriage?

some ? i doubt that.....

i dont think there can be a cap on libido...nor does this have anything to do with age....we have examples at both end of the spectrum....N2N...nithyananda to n d tiwari...

sex i dont think can be rationed though it is a fact that celibacy is an essential ingredient for realization.

Is that a hobby of some people or it's beyond one’s control on his/her sexual appetite?

well, if one looks at n d tiwari, it sure appears to be a hobby...even gandhi, i read did some weird (atleast what appears to us) experiments on understanding his sexual urge....

at the end of the day, it boils down to have will, have fun.

If a person have so much of lust, I believe there must be some bodily chemical reactions that is shooting up.

probably yes....manasa..iccha...vasa (or some such thing)....but the apparatus is the brain

Should such people be considered to have lack of self control OR should be considered as helpless patient?

i dont know whether sexual activeness qualifies as a disease to call someone a patient..even for n d tiwari...but lacking in self control....may be yes.

Is there any systematic cure for such people to keep their sexual appetite in control safely without any negative reactions, making him/her impotent?

making someone impotent...gosh that's scary...too harsh...

i dont know whether this needs a cure except when their desire transgresses into something illegal such as forced sex etc... i probably think that bottled up emotions are more harmful.

end of the day, as they say there is no divinity in virginity it probably reflects lack of opportunity.

and abstinence is only 99.99% fool proof, a certain mary could testify

Sri Hariharn ji,

Thank you for your efforts in answering each of my questions.

I too feel that sex without love for a partner is like committing suicide...may be bit harsh to say that, but I feel that is the human psychology.

As well having sex for pure carnal desire is certainly scandalizing...

I came to know a story of one of my friend's friend, couple of years before.

He was married for couple of years. But unfortunately there was no close intimacy and love between the partners (his wife was forcibly married to him by her parents without his knowledge).

He could not feel like having sex with his wife due obvious reasons. At one point of time when he could not resist himself from avoiding sex, he accepted his married female colleague's proposal to have relationship. Out of distress he accepted her request. But finally he didn't have as his conscious did not allow him to do.

He than consulted a sexologist out of agony to help him get rid of his sexual desires one's for all. But the Dr. refused to do that.

In this case the man neither wants to have a force sex nor sex with mutual consent with any one out of marriage.

In a society either he will be considered a fool or a meek guy.

My question is can a Dr. be of any help to such suffering males & females?


I don't believe that there is no divinity in virginity and that it probably reflects the lack of opportunity.

We can say that the lose of virginity may be due to lack of safety in some way, in a situation for a girl to secure herself from a rapist and in the case of man who could not control his animal instinct.

There are people for whom there is no divinity in virginity and there are people as well for whom virginity is divinity.

Is there any solution for people with higher sexual appetite along and their own ideologies to get rid of such hormonal imbalances, so that they would not be a victim self character assassination and mental agony.


The answer for the above may be helpful for us to be informative and guide some of our known people, if need be.

 

[C RAVI]

I beg to differ with you if I may with regards to virginity reflecting a loack of opportunity. It depends where one lives, culture and gender. I would say that may be the case for some men, its not really for women ie people are virgin just because of lack of opportunity.

It may surprise you that many people chose to be virgin before marriage entirely on principle or for whatever reason, in spite of having the opportunity.

Its a hard life. Die if you do and die if you don't.

Dear Amala,

Perfectly true...

A person (man/woman) who finds sex hard owing to one's own priniciples, is some one like a cat on a wall....

 

[C RAVI]

Dear TBSji,

Even I have read the Kamasutra before...and could not help noticing all the gravity defying poses...I wonder why India has never got a gold medal in gymnastics before in the Olympics....
ha ha ha
renu

Dr.Renuka ji,

You are correct to wonder why India have neve got a gold medal in gymnastics before in the Olympics...ound:

I think people were bussy carving/sculpturing the temple Gopurams with gravity defying poses to educated public and public were bussy learing them :clap2:

 

[tbs]

hi folks...
the chemistry of sex hormones...men like love for the sake of
sex...but the women like sex for the sake of love.....

regards
tbs

 

[pvraman]

I believe sex chemicals which are responsible for the act, have something to do with the food type and climate & social structure!......

Media is striving hard to bring a dead wood into life, and active member to become early men (close to animals)...

It is not too difficult to think, that the early men were having a free wheel, as the civilization developed, came under a sort control and rules were laid, Marriage is supposed to be a beginning of a systematic life. But as every things finally turns out to be, human is bored with the system, or living by a line. Marriage is slowly loosing its significance and become in many cases a trade through out the life time. In such cases, the scandals may not be scandals anymore.....

All said and done, now the parents who are the real teachers of their children don't have the time to teach Morals to the young kids.

Cheers

 

[RVR]

hi folks...
the chemistry of sex hormones...men like love for the sake of
sex...but the women like sex for the sake of love.....

regards
tbs

Why chemistry TBS? Even in Physics (Magnetism) we read, like poles repel each other and opposite poles attract each other.

Personally I feel only Swamy Vivekananda was open about talking about the subject.

Thoughts on Women - Swami Vivekananda —

All the best

 

[C RAVI]

Why chemistry TBS? Even in Physics (Magnetism) we read, like poles repel each other and opposite poles attract each other.

Personally I feel only Swamy Vivekananda was open about talking about the subject.

Thoughts on Women - Swami Vivekananda —

All the best

A very good article Sri RVR ji....

But may I know your stand on the implications of

1) Sexual over indulgence (self)
2) Sexual disappointments of husband or wife
3) The lust of a male or female to have sex before marriage and outside marriage
4) Formal, matured & Lovable Sex between husband & wife as a path to spirituality.

If I am not wrong, I believe that Sex between husband & wife with a spiritual state of mind ( I mean with bakthi & respect to each other, considering God with in each other) would be the most ideal one for the couple to live in harmony.

Though I am not married, I believe, as a 34 years old guy I am not wrong to think about all these and make an attempt to know whether I am right or wrong.

More over it would be generally good for many of us in general to know what is what all about with which we humans are living.


Sri RVR ji, since I love to read all of your posts, I wished to know your views on the above points.

 

[RVR]

A very good article Sri RVR ji....

But may I know your stand on the implications of

1) Sexual over indulgence (self)
2) Sexual disappointments of husband or wife
3) The lust of a male or female to have sex before marriage and outside marriage
4) Formal, matured & Lovable Sex between husband & wife as a path to spirituality.

If I am not wrong, I believe that Sex between husband & wife with a spiritual state of mind ( I mean with bakthi & respect to each other, considering God with in each other) would be the most ideal one for the couple to live in harmony.

Though I am not married, I believe, as a 34 years old guy I am not wrong to think about all these and make an attempt to know whether I am right or wrong.

More over it would be generally good for many of us in general to know what is what all about with which we humans are living.


Sri RVR ji, since I love to read all of your posts, I wished to know your views on the above points.

Ravi, I may not be able to answer fully but let me make a try.

God has deliberately created opposite gender. It is applicable not only to human beings but also to animals, birds and other creatures.

But we human beings have created through marriage, limit sex just between two individuals. Other creatures of God doesn't follow this principle.

We are also learning now that indiscriminate sex results in HIV etc.

If you talk of spiritual mindset then we have to be like Lord Rama and Seetha. Even Ramayana has a Uttarakanda.

Our forefathers talked high about Ramayana but when it came to practice, they were not honest to their better part.

In my generation, I earnestly feel, we didn't indulge in indiscriminate sex. Personally my marriage was an arranged one and I never loved any girl before my marriage. Most of my age group people are still loyal only to their wives and hardly I have seen any divorce also. Since most of us didn't attempt sex before or outside marriage, we have more successes than failures in our generation.

But I am worried about the present generation of youngsters (You, Durga are exceptions) where at the young age, they indulge in love affairs and if it fails gets disappointed very much. Just now I learnt that the boy who was recovered from Nityananda ashram had a love failure during his college days.

Everybody has to understand that sex is part of life. But life is not just sex. I am unable to understand the word `sexual disappointment between husband and wife'.

Unfortunately most of our spiritual gurus are not of good character. Choosing a correct Guru itself has become a big problem. Only one Nityananda is caught red handed, others have managed to hide or escape. When Durga wrote that he believes only God and not God men, I was really happy.

Now people like you have to choose your path in the best interest of your family and personal life. Personally I feel that you can choose our community girls speaking other languages since there is terrific shortage in tb community.

All the best

 

[C RAVI]

Sri RVR ji,

Thank you very much for your valuable feedback, sparing your valuable time.

Thank you for your advices for my marriage though it has nothing to do with MY marriage delays. Off course myself and my brother are open to proposals from any South Indian Language speaking Brahmin girls, settled in Tamil Nadu and or can speak Tamil.

But since it’s a public forum...

I humbly would like to request you and every other to consider my questions/post in general for exchange of ideas/information/views/opinions.

In my post I have stated my age and marital status only to point out that, my posting on this sex related thread can be justified owing to my age and level of maturity.

It has nothing to do with expressing my anxiety for being unmarried and craving for sex.


Dear all

I strongly believe that a tactical approach to stop some one from posting or to express contempt for one’s views/opinions, considering the person’s post as his/her own problem and giving personal suggestions and advices are all absolutely ridiculous and offending.

 

[RVR]

Ravi,

One more thing which I personally noticed and would like to share in this forum.

Wherever both parents are loyal to each other, children enjoy it and also like to emulate them.

Even frequent quarrels among parents in front of children are affecting their behavior.

If parents are not loyal to each other, it will create more problems for the children.

If parents wants to command respect from their children, then they have to behave properly.

All the best

 

[C RAVI]

Sri RVR ji,

You are absolutely right....