raghy,
that was a nice cut from the youtube. we too have a history of folk singing and dancing.
if we were to chose an equivalent song and dance together in chennai central, what would be a nice song? with a zing?
my choice, of the moment would be எங்கள் கல்யாணம் கலாட்டா கல்யாணம் .. but i am quite sure, there are better others than this.
a more apt song for this thread is this old elton john song
YouTube - Elton John - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word - 1976
when you go through the thread, the one thing that strikes out to me is that sorry seems to be the hardest word to say.
i am not pointing fingers at either krs and drs, as they are both valuable members here and their contribution makes this an added rich forum.
i can only speak for myself and my experience.
years ago, in another forum, inadvertently i got into a nasty nasty fight. even as i was getting into it, i felt like being sucked out of oxygen and sucked into a quicksand.
it is just that once the events started playing, scene after scene, answers coming like blows in an mgr movie, there was no going back.
at the end of it all, in a similar position like here, more at the urging of the other members, much like here, i stopped long enough to lick my wounds.
most of them, i found were self inflicted. i was also unhappy as a result of this quarrel, which appeared in perspective, wantonly silly.
it took a little bit of courage, a lot of hesitation, a few drinks to get me to apologize first.
even then, i think, the sting of the wounds remained in my erstwhile opponent for a long time.
the public, then, like now, do not really know, how to patch up things between two quarrelling members.
the fact that one here is a moderator, and other here is an ordinary member, should make no difference. we, as public, need some different tactics and skillsets.
many a times in this fight, even though i was a moderator, i wanted to take on the public role and mediate. mediation is good, i think.
even my one note here as moderator, was more in the spirit of mediation. that is how i am.
as my dad used to say, சமாதானம் any day is better than சண்டை.
one thing for sure. quarrels keep happening between members, more often than we change underwear. so might as well get used to it.
i think, one basic rule, that we can all follow, is that no matter what, we will not quit the forum, but will stay, to be heard another day.
also, let us quarrel within bounds. at the end of the quarrel, we wish we had not said certain things. let us have the presence of mind not to say it at all.
considering the harshness factor, 0 - 10, with zero being least, this quarrel is only a 1 or 2. no பச்சை பச்சையான தமிழ் வார்த்தைஸ் were used. there were no texts censored, i think.
this one is all about semantics. what does the usage of a word imply. does it differ in meaning, in different parts of the world.
i think yes.
in such cases, it does not make a difference, as to who apologizes first.
in my opinion, the first one to say sorry is a winner. not to say that the second one to follow is not a winner. he wins too, but only as a runner up.
way back, in another thread, nara said that it is not good to sweep the dirt under the carpet. i agree. but i also desire not to do the அரச்ச மாவ் exercise.
i think folks like pannvalan, swaminatha sharma, nrsundaram, raghy, CRAVI, vikrama, sabesan, happy, hari1972, and many many more, ... just to mention a few at the top of my head, are members in good standing to chide one another without getting all huffy and puffy.
so i request the public to go back and hear the elton john song once again and come out here and share your thoughts.
also, the public can come up with proactive suggestions, to prevent quarrels getting to so high a pitch than members' dislike factor runs high enough to desists any peace keeping efforts
thank you.
