From: V Muralidharan <[email protected]>
To: Iyer123 <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 7:50 AM
Subject: [Iyer123] Marriage most foul! How can we change it?
I attended a few Brahmin marriages in Chennai, Tiruchi and even Mayavaram. That is well within India and that too in Brahmin heartland! What I notice is, these marriages are having more of non-Brahmin (with due apologies to Sudras, as they seem to conduct their marriages with more dedication ti God) content and less and less of Brahmin practices. I mention some of them:
V.Muralidharan.
courtesy: iyer123
To: Iyer123 <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 7:50 AM
Subject: [Iyer123] Marriage most foul! How can we change it?
I attended a few Brahmin marriages in Chennai, Tiruchi and even Mayavaram. That is well within India and that too in Brahmin heartland! What I notice is, these marriages are having more of non-Brahmin (with due apologies to Sudras, as they seem to conduct their marriages with more dedication ti God) content and less and less of Brahmin practices. I mention some of them:
- The catering contractor may be a Brahmin. Many cooks are non-Brahmins.
- The serving of food is by uniformed non-Brahmins with only one or two Brahmins being present.
- The food is full of onions and Garlic. Serving chat items with onions and other masala items is becoming a fashion.
- The marriage is only for half a day and all mantras meant for 5 days are finished off within half day by deleting most of them.
- The Vihaha-Aupasana agni is put off immediately after the half day marriage and the aupasana panai -pot- is thrown into the dust bin.
- The same evening there is a big expensive RECEPTION, where mostly north Indian spicy non-Brahmin food is served as a buffet, where everyone has to stand and eat.
- The same night they have the "first night" (without any Garbadana mantra being chanted).
- The aupasana (or even Sandya vandana by the boy) is never done by the couple.
- They fly off to Singapore or Australia for their HONEY MOON. There they sleep on beds already slept on by all types of characters. Bad vibrations will produce bad progeny. No visit to Kuladeivam or elders.
- Brahmins who stay in the Mandapam wear mostly pants and shirts and you can see very few vesti men or saree wearing women. 9 yard saree has disappeared except for the bride for a few minutes. No one is doing any Sandya vandana even among old age Brahmins!
- Excess of expenditure is incurred on show items -like serving 7 items (idly, dosa, pongal, vada, poori and 3 sweets etc) for breakfast when just 2 items are adequate. Even middle class families are spending their hard earned money in such show of no value.
- Invite only Brahmins for the marriage. (other can be called for a reception, may be a week later).
- Do not have a reception on the same day, previous day or following day!
- Maintain sanctity of marriage hall. Never allow any one with chappals inside the hall.
- Ask all relatives to wear our traditional dress. Even girls and boys should wear traditional dress only. Buy only such dress for them and do not buy towels, shirts, pants etc for any relative.
- No woman or girl should have loosely hanging fashionable hair, as it is an indication of Alakshmi Or moodevi!
- Conduct the Vaideeka ceremonies like Vratam, Naandi etc with great care. Give liberal Dakshina to qualified Brahmins.
- Do not engage purohits with cropped hair etc for the ceremony. Engage only those who have done proper adyayanam of one Veda atleast.
- Conducting 5 day marriage is very practical even today. Only for the first day you need the marriage hall and after that they can bring the Vivahagni to the boy's house. Thereafter starting with Pravesa homa, Aupasana and other homas can be done for next 5 days ending with Garbadana ceremony. Everything can be done in one's own house, even if it is small. Only the boy and girl should take 5 day leave for this purpose. It is worth it, as it gives lifelong benefit as per Sastras.
- If 5 day marriage is not possible, then at least do the aupasana for 2 days and have the Garbadana or Shanti Muhurtam on second day and not on the day of marriage itself.
- Our Parmacharya has given detailed instruction in this regards. Please read Deivattin Kural Vol 2.
- Do not have any onion preparation in the marriage on any day.
- Arrange catering only by Brahmins and serving also by Brahmins only. Pay more to get this done if needed. Always serve on plantain leaf on floor or table and do not use Buffet system.
- Avoid going to hotels on honeymoon etc at least for 48 days after marriage.
- Keep the marriage simple and Vaideekik. Give more Dakshina to Brahmins and give the money saved to the couple.
- Marriage is for practice of Dharma and the wife is the Dharma patni. It should not be reduced to mere sex gratification and sensuality.
- Note: Always keep the Acharya of Kanchi or Sringeri or the the respective religious heads in mind. Mere printing their name in the top of invitation is not enough. We should send a good donation to them before the marriage as Acharya Sambavanai.
V.Muralidharan.
courtesy: iyer123