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This happened to me very recently.
My German Collegue by name Ms. Kathereena who is a regular visitor to India , was very much interested in visiting an Indian House. She expressed her desire to me with a complaint she requested my collegue several times and has not responded.
This Girl is of my Daughters age and assured to take her to my House when ever she is free in the Evening.
One fine day she called me over phone and told me that she is free that evening and rushing to office from her work spot and wish to visit my house.
Accordingly I informed my wife over phone and requested to prepare some snacks.
Every thing was fine except that girl came with a small Frock and a tops . The Frock was alarmingly short in height.
As assured I took her to my house and introduced to my family members.
Ms. Kat occupied a chair and was sitting in official style like the right leg on the Left lap.
My wife on seeing this called me and told me to ask her does she need a towel to close the Knee and all that.
Which I promptly asked Kat and she said she is comfortable and need no Towel.
She was in my house for about an hour and left to her Lodge.
Next day she thanked me for the hospitality and told that Next time when I Visit your house I ensure that I will come with Full Pant or a Long Gown. I felt sorry for my wife asking for a Towel to cover and all that.
Her answer put me in a real Fix.
She Cooly said we Germans does not like other girl to have pretty dress so she was of the opinion that as my wife always wear a saree which covers the full leg and is jealous of seeing Kat in such small dress. I couldn't control my Laugh and told her it is your wish .
 
Shri Krishnamurthy,

It is true (I believe) that our women are generally very possessive of their husbands. So if the husband has a foreign woman colleague and the said person comes in skimpy dress and sits cross-legged showing much of her thighs, the wife is sure to get perturbed. The way to remove this complex from the minds of our women is to allow them to dress even in modern dresses, at least in the privacy of the bedroom and to appreciate her beauty. That is a strict 'no-no' among most Indians.

This is one of the reasons why our young nubile girls dream of settling down in the western countries.
 
This happened to me very recently.
My German Collegue by name Ms. Kathereena who is a regular visitor to India , was very much interested in visiting an Indian House. She expressed her desire to me with a complaint she requested my collegue several times and has not responded.
This Girl is of my Daughters age and assured to take her to my House when ever she is free in the Evening.
One fine day she called me over phone and told me that she is free that evening and rushing to office from her work spot and wish to visit my house.
Accordingly I informed my wife over phone and requested to prepare some snacks.
Every thing was fine except that girl came with a small Frock and a tops . The Frock was alarmingly short in height.
As assured I took her to my house and introduced to my family members.
Ms. Kat occupied a chair and was sitting in official style like the right leg on the Left lap.
My wife on seeing this called me and told me to ask her does she need a towel to close the Knee and all that.
Which I promptly asked Kat and she said she is comfortable and need no Towel.
She was in my house for about an hour and left to her Lodge.
Next day she thanked me for the hospitality and told that Next time when I Visit your house I ensure that I will come with Full Pant or a Long Gown. I felt sorry for my wife asking for a Towel to cover and all that.
Her answer put me in a real Fix.
She Cooly said we Germans does not like other girl to have pretty dress so she was of the opinion that as my wife always wear a saree which covers the full leg and is jealous of seeing Kat in such small dress. I couldn't control my Laugh and told her it is your wish .


Are you serious? How inappropriate of you to suggest that your guest should dress according to your code. If that was so important to you why did you not inform her of the dress code before inviting. How prude to insult am invited guest.

In addition you have put her name in a public forum, that too as an insult, is totally unpardonable. The shame to all Indians is you do not recognize the folly.

Athithi devo bhava.
Athithi devo bhava
 
No big deal..we really cant judge anyone by the way they dress.
I have noticed many Indians of yesteryears have this kind of thinking.
Even old ladies keep a watch of what their daughters in laws wear.
Sometimes Indians surprise me..when we are supposed to look inward we are always judging someone outwardly.
I give a damn what another person wears..in fact when I see a girl dressed sexily it motivates me to work out more in the gym to look better.
And when I see any hot sexy chick I make it a point to tell my husband..hey check her out man!!!she looks great.
I dont know why some woman feel uneasy when their husband look at anyone or have a chance for some darshan like in the story above..whats the big deal?
We woman also will certainly look at a dashing male if we get the chance.
No one is going to reduce anyone to ashes by a mere glance!
 
Dear Mr. Prasad,
I too agree with you that Athithi devo bhava.
This particular thread is not to insult my Guest.
It all happened just like that.
My Guest Expressed her willingness to visit my house and she was in India for almost 10 Days , to be correct 2 full working weeks.
Every day she used to come to office before visiting Customer with Full formal dress like Full Pant with Blazer etc.
On that particular day she directly went to customer from Lodge only to squeeze little time in the Evening to visit my House. I was not aware of her dress and for your kind information we donot fix any dress code for our Guests especially in India.
When I got a call from that Girl around 4 in the Evening and her desire, I was left with no other Go.
If you really complain that mentioning her name was wrong , I am extremly sorry for that.
My general intention is the view of Individuals especially Indians that too women and the counter parts of other countries.
My wife is of the opinion that she may not be comfortable with open Knees , but that girl mistook it as the jealous of my wife, though my wife cannot speak or understand English and my guest except English and German she cannot follow any other language. Only by seeing my wife's face and expression my guest imagined that she is jealous , but the story was other way.
Any way if this thread by mistake has hurt your beleif on Athithi Devo Bava please forgive me.

Are you serious? How inappropriate of you to suggest that your guest should dress according to your code. If that was so important to you why did you not inform her of the dress code before inviting. How prude to insult am invited guest.

In addition you have put her name in a public forum, that too as an insult, is totally unpardonable. The shame to all Indians is you do not recognize the folly.

Athithi devo bhava.
Athithi devo bhava
 
While i fully agree that guest is God and should be treated as such, I fail to understand how many people don't even read up on the country they are going to for work/vacation and get to know that culture, the dos and don't particularly with regards to women's clothing. These things are basic courtesy.

I mean we all know for example if we are in Tehran to cover our hair and the same with KSA etc. I for one wouldn't go to say Pakistan without some modest salwar kameezes.
 
Showing the midriff was thought to be vulgar in European custom. So sari was considered rather vulgar. In some of the African, and south American Tribe being naked is natural. One does not have to confirm to local dress culture (except in Muslim countries). But you have to allow others to be free. If that girl happened to be DIL, then there is readymade battle. If you all tell me that Indian are prude and you dont see anything wrong in it, I have nothing to add.
 
Dear Mr. Prasad,
I too agree with you that Athithi devo bhava.
This particular thread is not to insult my Guest.

I am sorry too. I see everything as an ambassador of India. This looked like a affront to a visitor/tourist, and against hospitality.
I understand your thread.
In future please do not write someone's name in a post as it is permanent in the cyber-world.
 
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While i fully agree that guest is God and should be treated as such, I fail to understand how many people don't even read up on the country they are going to for work/vacation and get to know that culture, the dos and don't particularly with regards to women's clothing. These things are basic courtesy.

I mean we all know for example if we are in Tehran to cover our hair and the same with KSA etc. I for one wouldn't go to say Pakistan without some modest salwar kameezes.

When Mrs. Clinton went to Saudi Arabia, or any other muslim country she did not wear Burka. She wore her normal cloths for work. I understand that you have to respect the religious sentiment of the host country. We expect tourist to visit India and we must be hospitable. I do not want to compare India with even less developed countries of middle east.

I thought I was standing up for women's liberation. LOL
 
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I fully agree. Be a roman when in Rome, when we visit other countries we try to dress as per their custom. We don't eat with hand, we learn to use spoon and fork. We can always be polite and upright so we can avoid undue embarassment.
 
Dear Mr. Saivesh,
It is true that when you are in Rome you be like Roman and you have to accept the other thing also.
This is the saying only in India and am sure no other country man follow this.
In Karnataka we have one saying like Otta thanniche notta parariche. Otta means Sappadu and notta means external look . The meaning is a person to have Sappadu to his taste and to dress to the best look of others.
The second one you quoted as we have to follow the tradition of other country like using Spoon and Fork as Table manners. Right sir you just show me a single foreginer visiting our country on business matter to follow our indian tradition of having food with hands by sitting on the floor. Never sir, They donot come down from their or change their style . Same rule applies to their way of dressing too.
It is clear for we Indians when we are in other countries it is Oota thanniche but in their style and nota parariche, but for them , when they are in India Oota thaniche and nota also thaniche and they donot care for parariche.
It is a fact and we have to accept this.
I fully agree. Be a roman when in Rome, when we visit other countries we try to dress as per their custom. We don't eat with hand, we learn to use spoon and fork. We can always be polite and upright so we can avoid undue embarassment.
 
HK,

re your post #12,

i do not know where to draw the limit. should we expect every foreigner to eat with their hands? do we all eat chinese food (which includes everything that moves on this earth) with chop sticks when we go to china?

your german friend, probably thought nothing insulting meant, when she wore a short dress. the weather in india is hot, and even i resort to shorts when i come, and mrs K to cool cotton salwar/kameez (eschewing the sari), wherever we can.

i think, we are, as a culture suspicious of even our folks sitting next to another gender, in a bus or auto. my own feelings - as a young teen, my dad had gone to pick up his girl cousin from central station and brought her home in an auto. i felt jealous that dad could sit next to a woman alone in an auto, even though this was a cousin he grew up with, and his chithi's daughter. this was mid 1960s, and that was my mindset. :)

i think mrs HK's feeling should eventually turn out to be a family joke bordering on ribaldry (vis a vis the german crossing her legs and where our eyes wandered :) ) eventually in the years to come. let us not treat it too seriously.
 
Look at the fashion trends in India.
http://www.indianwomenclothing.com/articles/bollywood-fashion-2010.html

Is there double standard or some parts of India is yet to catch up to new trends.

"The debate over women's ways of dressing will not conclude easily. It raises its head anew with every generation. Until men accept that women are equal human beings, that they have rights, that they can reason and think, and that they are capable of being responsible, they will continue to find ways to impose irrational rules that attempt to control the way women think, act and dress."

Why a dress code for women? Opinion, by Kalpana Sharma
 
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Dear Mr. Saivesh,
It is true that when you are in Rome you be like Roman and you have to accept the other thing also.
This is the saying only in India and am sure no other country man follow this.
In Karnataka we have one saying like Otta thanniche notta parariche. Otta means Sappadu and notta means external look . The meaning is a person to have Sappadu to his taste and to dress to the best look of others.
The second one you quoted as we have to follow the tradition of other country like using Spoon and Fork as Table manners. Right sir you just show me a single foreginer visiting our country on business matter to follow our indian tradition of having food with hands by sitting on the floor. Never sir, They donot come down from their or change their style . Same rule applies to their way of dressing too.
It is clear for we Indians when we are in other countries it is Oota thanniche but in their style and nota parariche, but for them , when they are in India Oota thaniche and nota also thaniche and they donot care for parariche.
It is a fact and we have to accept this.

I would say that Indian Sari is the prettiest. A lot of Indian ladies still wear sari in all places, us, uk, Canada, Australia, etc. There is nothing wrong and a right in most advanced countries.
So we too as an advanced society should accept other cultures as such. I can understand that there will be case for specifying a dress code, and that is fine too.
 
Indian Dress Code

Dear Mr. Prasad ,
You know one thing a Survey conducted about 30 to 35 years back have concluded about Sexiest and Pretiest Dress by a Woman.
The out come you will be shocked that it is Indian Saree that too a Madisar Saree .
Most of the other dresses are either Pretty or Sexy and not both.
Madisar saree just have out thrown all other dresses .
Second thing what you have mentioned about accepting other dress codes.
You just ask some 60 years old person from T.N and Other southern state.
It was described if a Girl wears a Chudidhar / Tops or Pyjama type dress as Musalman.
They used to ask them why you are wearing this muslim dress.
Today you just show me a single young girl , not used chudidhar in her life time. Never.
It was tottaly accepted by us even in some schools in TN Chudidhar is uniform for Girls.
The success of this dress code is it covers the whole body , convenient for riding cycle etc.
Like wise any other such comfort , be a dress or any other essential for day to day life , we the indians especially T.N. are ready accept and adopt it sir.
I would say that Indian Sari is the prettiest. A lot of Indian ladies still wear sari in all places, us, uk, Canada, Australia, etc. There is nothing wrong and a right in most advanced countries.
So we too as an advanced society should accept other cultures as such. I can understand that there will be case for specifying a dress code, and that is fine too.
 
The Sari is probably the only piece of clothing that can be worn to look so revealing and sexy or worn modestly. It is indeed very flexible.
 
Indian dress code

You are quite right . No doubt about it.
But recollect a young girl wearing a Half saree .
Little manjal on the cheeks a round Kungumam with a viboothi keetu on the fore head . Nalla variya thalai with othai pinnal and a small piece of flower tied in a small naar.
Either Jimikki or a small Thodu in the ears. Othai kallu Mookuthi in the nose.
You will have a feeling to fold your hands in front of that girl for that Mahalakshmi look.
No other Dress in the universe can match this.
Ofcourse I have no big Idea about the convenience or any other related issue with this dress.
This most of our younger gen are missing.
Of late, the Chudidhar worn by our South Indian Girls not only covers their entire body, while
ensuring safety to them to a certain extent.


Suguna Balasubramanian
 
...You will have a feeling to fold your hands in front of that girl for that Mahalakshmi look.
No other Dress in the universe can match this.
Ofcourse I have no big Idea about the convenience or any other related issue with this dress.
This most of our younger gen are missing.

HK,

i would caution against moving into the realm of religion and 'mahalakshmi' per se re our girl's dresses. to me it is discomforting for i think this may reveal deep perversion, to deify our womenfolk, and indirectly cause abuse. our history is full of such instances, where we say someone has a 'lakshmi kaLai' and put them on a pedestal.

the next thing that happens, is the lady does something which is not quite mahalakshmiesque from a male viewpoint, and the idol comes crashing to the ground in pieces.

i think, we need to consider women as our equals to men. they are no different in their feelings, skillsets or ability to handle life. they are not puppets or toys, who should dress up in a particular way, to satisfy the male yearning for 'mahalakshmi' syndrome, and eventually be at the receiving end of our frustrations and prejudices.

have you noticed, that not one post, puts equal emphasis on male dresses - personally i think tight jeans, with focus on the enhancement of the crotch, more obscene and telling, than any female garment that i have seen. also, it is harmful to the procrreative organ, as i understand, it damages the sperm count.

let us get off from eulogizing female clothing or setting standards to satisfy our lecherous instincts. thank you.

please treat this post as a caution, meant for the general public, and not an indictment of you. i hope you dont mind.
 
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HK,

i would caution against moving into the realm of religion and 'mahalakshmi' per se re our girl's dresses. to me it is discomforting for i think this may reveal deep perversion, to deify our womenfolk, and indirectly cause abuse. our history is full of such instances, where we say someone has a 'lakshmi kaLai' and put them on a pedestal.

the next thing that happens, is the lady does something which is not quite mahalakshmiesque from a male viewpoint, and the idol comes crashing to the ground in pieces.

i think, we need to consider women as our equals to men. they are no different in their feelings, skillsets or ability to handle life. they are not puppets or toys, who should dress up in a particular way, to satisfy the male yearning for 'mahalakshmi' syndrome, and eventually be at the receiving end of our frustrations and prejudices.

have you noticed, that not one post, puts equal emphasis on male dresses - personally i think tight jeans, with focus on the enhancement of the crotch, more obscene and telling, than any female garment that i have seen. also, it is harmful to the procrreative organ, as i understand, it damages the sperm count.

let us get off from eulogizing female clothing or setting standards to satisfy our lecherous instincts. thank you.

please treat this post as a caution, meant for the general public, and not an indictment of you. i hope you dont mind.

Please see my post #14 on this subject in this thread.

Sorry for hijacking your original post HK.
 
Shri Kunjuppu,

Just a thought. Please don't think that I am refuting your post #20, that is out of your fair mindedness and wisdom.


It is the fact the men adores the beauty of a girl. Each man have different liking and attentions drawn to a girl with specific dress code. I don't think it is like considering a girl as puppet or toy, IMHO.

A poet glorifies the beauty of a girl with that of a Goddess (the beauty as portrayed by an artists), with moon, with flower, with the beauty of the poem itself, etc..etc...There are many imgainations to compare the beatuy of a girl with something. I don't think it is considered to be disrespecting or degrading a girl as a human.

 
HK,

i would caution against moving into the realm of religion and 'mahalakshmi' per se re our girl's dresses. to me it is discomforting for i think this may reveal deep perversion, to deify our womenfolk, and indirectly cause abuse. our history is full of such instances, where we say someone has a 'lakshmi kaLai' and put them on a pedestal.

the next thing that happens, is the lady does something which is not quite mahalakshmiesque from a male viewpoint, and the idol comes crashing to the ground in pieces.

i think, we need to consider women as our equals to men. they are no different in their feelings, skillsets or ability to handle life. they are not puppets or toys, who should dress up in a particular way, to satisfy the male yearning for 'mahalakshmi' syndrome, and eventually be at the receiving end of our frustrations and prejudices.

have you noticed, that not one post, puts equal emphasis on male dresses - personally i think tight jeans, with focus on the enhancement of the crotch, more obscene and telling, than any female garment that i have seen. also, it is harmful to the procrreative organ, as i understand, it damages the sperm count.

let us get off from eulogizing female clothing or setting standards to satisfy our lecherous instincts. thank you.

please treat this post as a caution, meant for the general public, and not an indictment of you. i hope you dont mind.

I've always found it very telling that everyone seems to like women as Mahalakshmi and not Durga :D or Chamundeshwari lol. I guess Mahalakshmi is very sweet, docile, compliant and many times shown pressing Narayana's feet. Oh well I can't complain, even i'd rather look like her than Kali! I wonder what Freud would have to say?
 
Shri Kunjuppu,

Just a thought. Please don't think that I am refuting your post #20, that is out of your fair mindedness and wisdom.


It is the fact the men adores the beauty of a girl. Each man have different liking and attentions drawn to a girl with specific dress code. I don't think it is like considering a girl as puppet or toy, IMHO.

A poet glorifies the beauty of a girl with that of a Goddess (the beauty as portrayed by an artists), with moon, with flower, with the beauty of the poem itself, etc..etc...There are many imgainations to compare the beatuy of a girl with something. I don't think it is considered to be disrespecting or degrading a girl as a human.


But the question here is, or rather my question in my mind has always been why Mahalakshmi. Its even a normal statement to make at girls in traditional attire "Mahalakshmi madri irukka". I promise I'm not deliberately trying to be obtuse but why is a girls beauty never appreciated as any other goddess or the more liberated and less docile type like Durga?
 
But the question here is, or rather my question in my mind has always been why Mahalakshmi. Its even a normal statement to make at girls in traditional attire "Mahalakshmi madri irukka". I promise I'm not deliberately trying to be obtuse but why is a girls beauty never appreciated as any other goddess or the more liberated and less docile type like Durga?

I guess Mahalaksmi being health, wealth, wise, and married to the rich guy Vishnu. LOL

Hindu Goddess of Wealth - Lakshmi
"For obvious reasons, Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, is more sought after than Saraswati, the goddess of learning. As the power and consort of Vishnu, the preserver, she is the power of multiplicity and the goddess of fortune, both of which are necessary for preservation. Sri or lakshmi, depicted in the vedas, is the goddess of wealth and fortune, power and beauty. One may suppose that Sri and Lakshmi are two separate deities. Since their descriptions are so similar, one may conclude that the two represent the same deity. Some scholars believe that Sri was a pre-vedic deity connected with fertility, water and agriculture. She was later fused with Lakshmi, the vedic goddess of beauty."

Of course you do not want to compare the beauty of a pretty girl with 'Kali', you will get your face slapped. LOL
 
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