Midlife crossroads

[indianassault]

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TIA for your suggestions.

Like seeing a horoscope, whenever i have issues i tend to come here.

I used to be lax all my life and its haunting me now. i am in mid career but nothing but struggle amidst the competition. Sometimes even to hold on to jobs.

please sufgest ways which will help me focus, have goals and adhere to them and achieve them. I firmly belive changing my actions will put me in right track, but it just doesn’t happen and i seek consistency. I got some antidepressats prescribed which gave me some positive changes but sustaining them is a chsllenge.

 

[indianassault]

TIA for your suggestions.

Like seeing a horoscope, whenever i have issues i tend to come here.

I used to be lax all my life and its haunting me now. i am in mid career but nothing but struggle amidst the competition. Sometimes even to hold on to jobs.

please sufgest ways which will help me focus, have goals and adhere to them and achieve them. I firmly belive changing my actions will put me in right track, but it just doesn’t happen and i seek consistency. I got some antidepressats prescribed which gave me some positive changes but sustaining them is a chsllenge.

Would be great to hear suggestions experiences and advice. I cannot figure out if it may be s medical condition ( i have only one ear working) or my resistance or plain laziness.

 

[prasad1]

It is a good sign, that you are taking responsibility for your situation. Yes, make sure that you are doing everything possible to improve the situation.
It helps to feel physically and emotionally fit before you face the world.
Talk with your doctor. Get a thorough physical exam.
Start a regular exercise regime, join some yoga group to focus your mind. That will get you out of your rut.

Find a job you like, make sure you like the people you work with.
Things will improve. Good luck.

 

[renuka]

Would be great to hear suggestions experiences and advice. I cannot figure out if it may be s medical condition ( i have only one ear working) or my resistance or plain laziness.

My advise to you:

1)First get a full medical examination including all hormonal blood levels to make sure everything is functioning within normal limits for your age and if anything is out of sync get treated for it.

2)If you feel its depression see a psychiatrist and also a psychologist for therapy.

3)Pray daily....not just mechanically but do some prayers especially Japa..cos the Japa recitation slows down the thoughts and increases the time span of being in the present.

4)Depending on your personality type choose your mode of exercise.
If you like groups join and Yoga group etc..if you prefer being alone do Yoga or any other exercise yourself.
Sometimes when we are depressed being in a group can actually make us WORSE..so you have to know what you really want.

5)If you are currently not working and waiting for a job, try to do any part time job meanwhile.
Here in Msia many pilots lost their jobs becos of Covid 19..some have started driving Grab car meanwhile and also some opened food stalls.
Try some job whatever you can though unconventional at first till your get your dream job.

6)Coming to job and goals...do not set a goal yet or dont set a goal at all if your are depressed.
Take one day at a time.
Life isnt about competing with another..its about finding your balance.
Even if you might not soar as high as you would its still better to be in a state of balance and contentment then someone who is flying high yet sans balance or contentment.

I am not saying its not possible to be high flying and balanced...its very much possible but dont think of it yet..just think of surviving each day till you recover.


Lastly..ask yourself.."what is life trying to tell me"
This question is only for you to answer and work your way slowly and reflect on it and that would determine the choices you would make for yourself.

Last but not least..a setback is totally fine.
Most humans have a total setback time, a total breakdown time..the last time when a human had a major breakdown in a battlefield , the world got the Bhagavad Gita..so nothing comes easy but it would have a greater good finally.

Take your time and heal yourself.

 

[tbs]

My advise to you:

1)First get a full medical examination including all hormonal blood levels to make sure everything is functioning within normal limits for your age and if anything is out of sync get treated for it.

2)If you feel its depression see a psychiatrist and also a psychologist for therapy.

3)Pray daily....not just mechanically but do some prayers especially Japa..cos the Japa recitation slows down the thoughts and increases the time span of being in the present.

4)Depending on your personality type choose your mode of exercise.
If you like groups join and Yoga group etc..if you prefer being alone do Yoga or any other exercise yourself.
Sometimes when we are depressed being in a group can actually make us WORSE..so you have to know what you really want.

5)If you are currently not working and waiting for a job, try to do any part time job meanwhile.
Here in Msia many pilots lost their jobs becos of Covid 19..some have started driving Grab car meanwhile and also some opened food stalls.
Try some job whatever you can though unconventional at first till your get your dream job.

6)Coming to job and goals...do not set a goal yet or dont set a goal at all if your are depressed.
Take one day at a time.
Life isnt about competing with another..its about finding your balance.
Even if you might not soar as high as you would its still better to be in a state of balance and contentment then someone who is flying high yet sans balance or contentment.

I am not saying its not possible to be high flying and balanced...its very much possible but dont think of it yet..just think of surviving each day till you recover.


Lastly..ask yourself.."what is life trying to tell me"
This question is only for you to answer and work your way slowly and reflect on it and that would determine the choices you would make for yourself.

Last but not least..a setback is totally fine.
Most humans have a total setback time, a total breakdown time..the last time when a human had a major breakdown in a battlefield , the world got the Bhagavad Gita..so nothing comes easy but it would have a greater good finally.

Take your time and heal yourself.

hi

Last but not least..a setback is totally fine.
Most humans have a total setback time, a total breakdown time..the last time when a human had a major breakdown in a battlefield , the world got the Bhagavad Gita..so nothing comes easy but it would have a greater good finally.

Take your time and heal yourself.

nice words....Time heals everything.....be positive....every change is good for everything...

life has intitial crisis...middle age crisis....end age crisis....death is not end...its begining of new life..

 

[a-TB]

As people have suggested you have to ensure you are physically and mentally fine. Only a qualified Doctor/Psychiatrist can help you in that regard.

If it is all fine, then begin taking up a daily regimen of exercise like fast walking or running (within the limits of your body).

Take a stock of your skills and if you had goofed off it will take time to catch up. Sometimes suffering is nature's way giving a wake up call.

I know in the private sector one goes through reinventing their career several times in a couple of decades. If you have become obsolete in your area it is time to roll up your sleeves and acquire more marketable skills. It will take time and it is fine. It is a wake up call for changes needed for better life ahead.

Go for nature walks, and watch sunrise and sunset in wonderment. That would be a kind of prayer.

May you have peace of mind and may you generate the strength to deal with the issues. Once your mind is set, the issues will melt away

 

[indianassault]

Thank you all . I realize I hadnt even replied to this post. At that time of writing that post, I was having very high stress levels at work as well as family. I was in North East trying to perform well at a new job, prove myself etc.

1.5 years have passed now and I am now in a different job and have different set of circumstances. Thankfully I survived that period succcessfully. I was in living away from family, learnt a lot about my job and persevered well.

I am moving towards one realisation - that I am not going to "test" God. which is constantly offering prayers until my wishes are granted. If you have complete belief you leave it up to him. We are also raising a puppy for a year now. It teaches me lots of lessons and keeping me fit

Thank you once again for your words.