How can we encourage our kids to go to temple more?

[Yamaka]

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"If someone has a doubt about a Cancer in his lungs it does not help him to say that it was the fault of his parents or the place he was born. If we can help him from the suffering or a cure we know, that might help we should by all means offer him that suggestion." post 50.

The comparison and the imagery invoked here is interesting and disturbing.

1. "If the cancer in the lungs" is the situation of Temples in this country, then the Temples will vanish, because escaping from lung cancer is nearly impossible. It needs a miracle to happen.

2. Any amount of advice to this patient is not going to help at this point in time. The end is almost certain. Death.

3. What people talk here is how to NOT to get lung cancer:

Just don't smoke, keep your body healthy and don't get into bad habits etc. etc. Stay away from Superstition.

Where's the problem?

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

Thiru.Yamaha,
I strongly recommend to you to go through the book"Joy in Cancer" written by a person
who was diagnosed as having 4th stage cancer at the time of detection and after the
Doctors informed him that he may survive only for six more months.
Instead of ourselves giving advice to such patients,we can learn from his life experience as to how he lived his life in the next six months.I was fortunate to listen to his TV interview and also went through the book written by that person.
According to him one can face any problem in his life and still live happily and peacefully.

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

IMHO,Children(specially living in foreign countries) should be encouraged to attend
Bal Vihar,Satsang for children.It is very essential that elders in the family conduct themselves in such a manner that children imbibe from elders in the family good values of Life.
They should be encouraged to do Pooja,Abhisekham etc in the house.They should be explained the significance of various festivals,and other auspicious days.
Though I spent my first twenty years in Thiruvanaikoil and visited the famous local temple (though not daily)most of the days,Iwas not aware of "Annabhisekham to Lord Shiva" once a Year on AIPPASI month full moon day and fortnightly "Pradosha Pooja' to Lord SHiva. My father used to instruct us to avoid temples like Thiruvanaikoil,Srirangam etc on festival and other important days when there will be large number of people visiting the temple.Only recently when I visited Kumbakonam to see my friend,he asked me to accompany him to a nearby Shiva temple where Annabhisekham to Lord Shiva was performed and he had borne the entire expenses on that day.I came to know about this festival only recently and also about "pradosa Pooja' to Lord Siva every fortnight only after my retirement from service and settling down in my house in Nanganallur,Chennai where an ancient Shiva temple is located.There could be many such festivals about which I may not know till date.When myself did not know many aspects of Hinduism,it was not possible to pass on the knowledge to the next generation.Now,we are able to have access to Internet and get lot of information about Hinduism and other religions.Parents can encourage children to read the life stories of great religious leaders of all faith,and other good books.Children can be encouraged to develop positive thinking and not get influenced by negative thinking process.
Instead of regular visits to temple,it is desirable to impart knowledge in the house.
Still there is no guarantee that the children will follow the ways which we desire them to follow.We have to develop the courage to accept facts of Life which may or may not be to our individual liking.

 

[kganesa]

In Joint Family this things are normally possible, because our parents, grand parents are stay with them. they told Ramayana, mahabaratham, itikasam, puranam in the way of good Stories to Childrens. it gives good mind setup to that childrens.

 

[Yamaka]

Thiru.Yamaha,
I strongly recommend to you to go through the book"Joy in Cancer" written by a person
who was diagnosed as having 4th stage cancer at the time of detection and after the
Doctors informed him that he may survive only for six more months.
Instead of ourselves giving advice to such patients,we can learn from his life experience as to how he lived his life in the next six months.I was fortunate to listen to his TV interview and also went through the book written by that person.
According to him one can face any problem in his life and still live happily and peacefully.

Dear Krish Sir:

I lost my mother to Stomach Cancer at age 68 and sister to Blood Cancer at 70. Both were very very religious people. God was in their mind ALL the time. Prayers were nearly constant in all waking hours.

Alas.. that Non-Existent God never listened to their prayers.

Believe me there is NO JOY in Cancer!

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear krishnamoorthy sir !
i agree that elders has to explain the ritual &festivals to children to make them visit temples 7inbibe good qualities. at the same time you also said your father not allowed to visit temple during festival season citing the mad rush.I will say that because your father was strict and you were obedient . you are able to enjoy your retired life . otherwise you would have wasted your time in visiting temple,making loose comment with friends in street corner .if you honest you will agree why boys were visting srirengam &TVkoil.i have noticed in my service the boys coming from orthodox family deviate much and doing the intercast marriage ,addict to alchocal,nonveg food etc. whether we to say all this our karma?

 

[sangom]

IMHO,Children(specially living in foreign countries) should be encouraged to attend
Bal Vihar,Satsang for children.It is very essential that elders in the family conduct themselves in such a manner that children imbibe from elders in the family good values of Life.
They should be encouraged to do Pooja,Abhisekham etc in the house.They should be explained the significance of various festivals,and other auspicious days.
Though I spent my first twenty years in Thiruvanaikoil and visited the famous local temple (though not daily)most of the days,Iwas not aware of "Annabhisekham to Lord Shiva" once a Year on AIPPASI month full moon day and fortnightly "Pradosha Pooja' to Lord SHiva. My father used to instruct us to avoid temples like Thiruvanaikoil,Srirangam etc on festival and other important days when there will be large number of people visiting the temple.Only recently when I visited Kumbakonam to see my friend,he asked me to accompany him to a nearby Shiva temple where Annabhisekham to Lord Shiva was performed and he had borne the entire expenses on that day.I came to know about this festival only recently and also about "pradosa Pooja' to Lord Siva every fortnight only after my retirement from service and settling down in my house in Nanganallur,Chennai where an ancient Shiva temple is located.There could be many such festivals about which I may not know till date.When myself did not know many aspects of Hinduism,it was not possible to pass on the knowledge to the next generation.Now,we are able to have access to Internet and get lot of information about Hinduism and other religions.Parents can encourage children to read the life stories of great religious leaders of all faith,and other good books.Children can be encouraged to develop positive thinking and not get influenced by negative thinking process.
Instead of regular visits to temple,it is desirable to impart knowledge in the house.
Still there is no guarantee that the children will follow the ways which we desire them to follow.We have to develop the courage to accept facts of Life which may or may not be to our individual liking.

I don't know about what is done in Bala Vihar, but AFAIK, today's children will not be very enthused by any satsang, unless there is tv coverage. Still parents take their young kids to these satsangs, but many times the kids are least interested and it is only the constant prodding and accusing stare of the parents which makes them not doze off. And what do our children get from these satsangs which is 1. either interesting to them, or, two, 2. which they will be able to show off in front of peers and friends? More so, in foreign countries?

Give children frank and honest answers including "I don't know", whenever necessary. Let them decide whether they will like to frequent temples as they grow up. If the idea behind this thread is that children's lack of interest in going to temples is a serious matter like cancer which has to be combated, try marketing strategies; promise the favourite ice cream or sweet or comic book which they relish, if they will come to the temple.

 

[ShivKC]

Dear Krish Sir:

I lost my mother to Stomach Cancer at age 68 and sister to Blood Cancer at 70. Both were very very religious people. God was in their mind ALL the time. Prayers were nearly constant in all waking hours.

Alas.. that Non-Existent God never listened to their prayers.

Yam's,

how about god giving every one identical, with no disease, all living exactly till 120 years, no doctors, every human getting a pay check of 140 $/day, dotting earth with 7Bn identical 2000 sft air conditioned, with identical skin colours, all blue eyed !

do you think, that kind of life would have been an interesting one?

 

[guruvayurappan]

there is saying we are not interested in what we have ,but interested in things which are not with us .we will loose our liking once we posses that. we are not able to see correctly the object nearer to our eyes and able to visualize the same keeping at a distance.Even a rich man will lead a beggar life if he mad about money and a poorman will lead a royal like life since his priority is not money alone

 

[renuka]

Dear Krish Sir:

I lost my mother to Stomach Cancer at age 68 and sister to Blood Cancer at 70. Both were very very religious people. God was in their mind ALL the time. Prayers were nearly constant in all waking hours.

Alas.. that Non-Existent God never listened to their prayers.

Believe me there is NO JOY in Cancer!

I know that there is no Joy in Cancer but Death comes in different forms.
Death spares no one.
Your mum and sis thought of God even when cancer ravaged their bodies and never gave up believe in Him.
They might have 'suffered' physically but internally they were focused on God.

I am qouting a religious text here cos I feel your mum and sis felt this and never gave up their faith in God.

Joy and grief are as day and night; they have to be put up with and gone through. They will neither appear nor disappear at your will! Both are related to the physical or the material - the body, and they do not affect the soul. You are liberated the moment you transcend joy and grief. What is there to grieve in life? Did you grieve when your body underwent changes? The child disappears in the boy, the boy in the youth, the youth is lost in the middle-aged man who in turn is lost in the old man. You never weep over these changes that affect the body, why then, when the body is lost in death. Whatever changes your body may suffer, the Atma

remains immortal. Being established unshakably in this knowledge is the sign of the wise, the jnaani.

[SIZE=-1]-Geetha Vahini, Ch 1[/SIZE]​

​

 

[guruvayurappan]

the geetha vahini ch 1 is reproduced as tamil song written by the great kannadasan in eravum pakalumthe (jai shankar film)song- eravuvarum pakkalum varum

 

[Servall]

Hi All:

With the intent of the thread being 'How can we encourage our kids to go to temple more', we have had a lot of interesting discussions from various quarters. The discussions even went beyond the realm of the topic as to Why our kids need to go to temples at all, it is ok to have had that discussed as well because some of us did feel that for Hindus temple going is not a must as our religion is individualistic and congregational and as long as we teach our kids the faith at home, it might be ok.

Over all, I think if I can summarize what I heard, it might go like this, please correct me if I did not extract it correctly:

1. Even for the believers, temple going is not a must activity, kids can learn our faith at home
2. Our religion not being congregational, if we need to encourage our kids to go to temples more, we need to enhance our temple premises to conduct more congregational type activities where kids can participate
3. We need to follow marketing strategies to entice kids to go to temples, what is that, remains to be discussed
4. The adults have to come out of our mind set that we know it all, and there are many things religion-wise that we do not really know, we need to learn to say 'I dont know' to our kids but make an honest attempt to find answers for their questions. This I agree, we say 'I dont know' to our peers, bosses at work and many other people, and that trait is seen as positive in society (that we admit we dont know but will investigate to find answers), why dont we do that to our kids?
5. At a broader leve, suggestion from Messrs. Yamaka, Sangom and Nara was that we need to facilitate their learning; we need to encourage them to go to places of worship of all faiths (including temples), let them ask questions, provide answers to them, let them compare/contrast all religions and get equipped themselves to make their own minds.
6. On my part, I would add, that we have been inept and complascent to take our kids and their religion seriously; we have to provide them all those opportunities without brushing aside their need to learn; we have to make that learning interesting so they will be encouraged to learn. It is not enough to teach the scriptures or vedas, we need to show them in no uncertain terms how these teachings add value today in their lives and be courageous to point out where they may not make sense today.

My other comments:

a. I was noticing all along the discussions, that we have not heard enough from our women members of this forum. I am of the opinion that kids talk to moms more than dads (at least in my case) so there may be some 'revelations' moms can share as to kids' religion....can we please hear from you?
b. My final note: We have been talking from a parental level (and that was perhaps the intent of the OP). I know we have many members here who are administrators or in the committees of various temples or religious organizations who do yeomen service including organizing youth groups . Have you heard these kids speak in these groups and are they saying anything to the effect how they envision where our religion should go, or our temples should do or look like in the future?

Peace..

 

[prasad1]

I was noticing all along the discussions, that we have not heard enough from our women members of this forum. I am of the opinion that kids talk to moms more than dads (at least in my case) so there may be some 'revelations' moms can share as to kids' religion....can we please hear from you?
b. My final note: We have been talking from a parental level (and that was perhaps the intent of the OP). I know we have many members here who are administrators or in the committees of various temples or religious organizations who do yeomen service including organizing youth groups . Have you heard these kids speak in these groups and are they saying anything to the effect how they envision where our religion should go, or our temples should do or look like in the future?

Peace..

No religion or culture can survive for long without the participation of the women. Majority of Indian women do not like the confrontational arguments that seems to be standard here in this site. Some of them are tired of long winded rehash of the broken records.

 

[Govinda]

6. It is not enough to teach the scriptures or vedas, we need to show them in no uncertain terms how these teachings add value today in their lives and be courageous to point out where they may not make sense today.

Good summarization. But before teaching the kids, we have to follow them, so they would also be motivated to learn. So, before going to temples, we should practice the daily-nithya karmas, which ever we could follow within the time, situation constraints. They can also be involved in such activities. My son would be interested in doing the aradhana/arti/chanting with me. He even participated in lighting lamps, kolam activities with his mom. The women should engage the kids in more religion/moral/spiritual/health based arts/crafts/story-telling.

3. We need to follow marketing strategies to entice kids to go to temples, what is that, remains to be discussed

Many US hindu organizations conduct simple poojas for Ganesh, Krishna on festival days. Kids were allowed to perform poojas for the murthis. Ofcourse, the motivating factor is the Prasadam. Parents at home should teach the kids about healthy eating habits and healthy foods. The organizers should also be educated about preparing healthy foods without too much white flour,sugar, salt, frying and processing. Dont advertise using wrong leads like Candies, cakes etc. First of all, our indians need a health discourse than a religious/spiritual discourse.

 

[sangom]

The Hindu religion with its vast amounts of superstitious layers and mythological certificates for the effectiveness of the various religious practices, does not "appeal" to today's children who are bright, smart and are growing up in comfortable financial conditions. As I wrote earlier, the religion has to be made more rationally appealing to the kids but that should not exploit the fact that their GK will be very limited. For example, a smart child also may believe the theory that this entire world, including humans is the handiwork of God, but as he grows and learns the scientific explanation, he will feel having been cheated by his parents.

Hence the crying need of the times is to package the God Supreme in some convincing and acceptable package for the kids. Then comes the Himalayan task of selling our 33crores of devatas and ever so many "gods" with all the stories of their jealousy, lust, curses, battles, cutting the head off and replacing with elephant's head and similar unbelievably imaginative stories. How do you make children to accept all these B*&&^%$#? That is the crux of the problem.

 

[renuka]

Dear Serveall,

You wrote :

a. I was noticing all along the discussions, that we have not heard enough from our women members of this forum. I am of the opinion that kids talk to moms more than dads (at least in my case) so there may be some 'revelations' moms can share as to kids' religion....can we please hear from you?

We women do have our opinion on how to instill religious values in our children but when it comes to writing it in Forum may be we might want to think twice.
Writing anything here will be shot down by the fighter pilot squad.
Dont get me wrong..its not fear that prevents me from writing some of my thoughts but just that I feel the topic is good and let me write my opinion in my mind cos some answers I read here from others dont seem to be "honest".
They recommend one thing for other peoples children but practised or practise something else for their own kids or for some its just a case of sour grapes.

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

I happened to read the views of a member in another Forum.He laments that being an NRI(presumed to be in UK),he is unable to follow the customs and religious practices.
He has stopped visiting temples,the reason being that Hindu temples have become a meeting place for families and friends for chit chat but also a place for announcing death and for grieving persons to perform Poojas,requests for attendance at funerals.
He says who is to be blamed for these state of affairs--the Priests or the management who allow anything for cash?
If the elders themselves take such an attitude,they may prevent their kids from visiting temples.

 

[sangom]

I happened to read the views of a member in another Forum.He laments that being an NRI(presumed to be in UK),he is unable to follow the customs and religious practices.
He has stopped visiting temples,the reason being that Hindu temples have become a meeting place for families and friends for chit chat but also a place for announcing death and for grieving persons to perform Poojas,requests for attendance at funerals.
He says who is to be blamed for these state of affairs--the Priests or the management who allow anything for cash?
If the elders themselves take such an attitude,they may prevent their kids from visiting temples.

Dear Shri Krishnamurthy sir,

I will say that if temples abroad are utilized for the social purposes stated above, they will become more meaningful, visits to temples will give benefit even to borderline atheists and, may be even confirmed atheists who may, on principle like to avoid visiting temples for the religious benefits supposed to be derived therefrom. The only jarring aspect may be the performance of after-death rituals (if that was what you intended by "grieving persons performing Poojas", but we may have to accept it as a matter of inevitable necessity and cordon off some area separately for those poojas. In fact, in the mandapam in which my fil's last rites were performed in Bengaluru, there was a ganesh temple at the very entrance and all sorts of last rites including those for "durmaranam" in which the body could not be got (probably lost in lake/sea) in the US, were being done side by side with at least a dozen other cases in a large hall. The preparations like rice, oil, til, etc., left over by one set was being given to another. I was wondering that the pitrus must be crowding the place, cheek by jowl and pushing and thrusting one another to receive the offerings, how sad! And this is in very India.

The lament of the member has arisen, imo, because people want to sort of time-travel to their nostalgic temple visits of childhood days and even the OPoster here probably believes that what he got out of temple-going 50 or 60 years ago in Thanjavur, will replicate in kids born and brought up in US and visiting the temples there; he does not understand the fallacy in this.

 

[zebra16]

Then comes the Himalayan task of selling our 33crores of devatas and ever so many "gods"

This figure of 33 crores or 330 million devatas, I have been hearing and reading both from the orthodox Hindus and from their opponents. The nearest I can get to this 33 multiplied by some index of 10 is 33 multiplied just by one, said to comprise of 8 vasus, 11 rudras, 12 adityas, 1 prajapathi and 1 somebody.

I will be glad even if someone can give at least 330 names or the source where the 330 million devatas are listed or detailed.

 

[prasad1]

The lament of the member has arisen, imo, because people want to sort of time-travel to their nostalgic temple visits of childhood days and even the OPoster here probably believes that what he got out of temple-going 50 or 60 years ago in Thanjavur, will replicate in kids born and brought up in US and visiting the temples there; he does not understand the fallacy in this.

Visiting my local temple in North India was a fun outing. The setting was idyllic, on the banks of a river, in a private yard of a school, no crowd, peaceful puja, then a bonus of Vada, and walk to the river. It was a wonderful experience. I do not know how much of it was spiritual? Unfortunately the school has made that temple private and closed it to public.
Visiting the South Indian Temple was a road trip for entire family, so it was another kind of experience. My mother was a wonderful story teller and a singer. She would sing a song and explain the meaning, we were mesmerized. That was my exposure to religion in young age.

Of course we used to visit the Thirth yatra places and did not enjoy most of the experiences, but then my parents were old, and I could help them achive their goal. Nov I visit temple for sightseeing, admiring the architecture, and other tourist things. My personal philosophy does not require me to go to Temple.

Here in USA we helped in building temples. We were very active in all aspect of purchase, finance, building, running, and maintenance. These temples provide a social place for people from different parts of India. We have to meet the aspiration of all these varying needs.

So visiting a particular Temple is different than visiting any other temple. A unique experience.

If you are curious, and your children happen to be the same, there is fun in finding answers. Unfortunately I can not sing so to that extent I can not influence my children. Fortunately they have enough curiosity to find their own philosophy of life. How children turn out is their own, we think we helped in shaping their values.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I happened to read the views of a member in another Forum.He laments that being an NRI(presumed to be in UK),he is unable to follow the customs and religious practices.
He has stopped visiting temples,the reason being that Hindu temples have become a meeting place for families and friends for chit chat but also a place for announcing death and for grieving persons to perform Poojas,requests for attendance at funerals.
He says who is to be blamed for these state of affairs--the Priests or the management who allow anything for cash?
If the elders themselves take such an attitude,they may prevent their kids from visiting temples.

It happens in the temple here in South Africa as well. People announce death and even do special prayers for the departed. Sometimes they even keep the photo of the deceased next to the Murthy. People also do bajans during the first 16 days at the home where death took place. None of these things is allowed for financial reasons. These things do not disturb me that much. But what did hurt me was once when someone brought the wreathe placed on a dead body to the temple and placed it next to the Murthy. I took offence and even the temple managers felt bad about it. It happened without their knowledge. But they did not remove it. I got it thrown away later.

 

[kunjuppu]

folks,

much as i appreciate the do's and dont's of the temples at home, one should also realize that temples outside of india, for a very long time have been on their own and evolved their own traditions.

thanks to apartheid and strict immigration, south african temples had no priests. the local elders used to take on that role. one such was the grandmother of a friend of mine who immigrated to toronto.

also, as the below url shows, the traditions also take on new practices from the new communities. there is a guyanese temple in toronto, where the word service/church is used often for aradhanai/kovil. i see nothing wrong in that.

we have our prejudices towards the dead and death processes. other communities do not view death as such a bad thing. have you seen the loving way in which many tamil communities treat the dead, as if they are an extension of the living. something that will be anethma to tambrams who are eager to get rid of the dead, and associate anything to do with the dead as 'bad'.

[url=http://madrasi.org/about_us.htm]About Us[/URL]

which reminds me of another hot topic in another forum long ago. are we by influencing the practises of tamil temples, trying to vedicize or sanskritize them? this was an accusation from an ardent NB sri vaishanvan and i remember an honourable member from this forum involved in a very deep discussion there.

who knows, for those of us who are settled abroad, in 100 years, our descendents may be of brown/white/yellow/black hue, come to temples dressed in skirts (already men dress in pants even now) and be seated in chairs. a while ago, a vancouver sikh temple had to be closed, as a fight became vicious between the traditionalists and the reformers - the issue was whether the free food langur can be served on tables/chairs (which in cold canada makes sense).

 

[Haridasa Siva]

K,

Just to clarify, I do not try to interfere with the way things are here in SA. My getting the wreathe thrown away was indeed the wish of the management. Btw, South African Indians do not enter the shrine though they enter the temple premises after attending a funeral. You are right. Death or funeral is not treated the way TBs treat them.

Talking of dress, some men come in shorts already. Older people sit only in chairs. Food is always served on the table. That is my experience with temples in SA.

 

[Servall]

Dear Renu:

We women do have our opinion on how to instill religious values in our children but when it comes to writing it in Forum may be we might want to think twice.
Writing anything here will be shot down by the fighter pilot squad.
Dont get me wrong..its not fear that prevents me from writing some of my thoughts but just that I feel the topic is good and let me write my opinion in my mind cos some answers I read here from others dont seem to be "honest".
They recommend one thing for other peoples children but practised or practise something else for their own kids or for some its just a case of sour grapes.

It is very disheartening to me that you and perhaps many women of this forum would feel this way. We all know mothers are the front liners to respond to the kids' needs, and by hearing and responding to their inner most needs, be material or religious, you are the most important people in shaping their lives, I would say, more than fathers. I am excited and curious to find out, along with some other like minded fathers, as to what our kids are telling the moms in respect to what the religion each one of us practices means to them, whether they are bright, smart or financially well off, or lacking or challenged in their critical thinking or poor!! How do they expect us to respond to their religious needs, how they envision our temples or places of worship in the future when all of us, in 10, 15,20,30 years or whenever long gone!!

Yes I agree with you, the fact that we do not respond to distractions is not due to lack of vocabulary and many thoughts come to my mind to respond to these comments, but it is not the focus of the issue and we have far better things to address in life.

I would request you and other women to write if you feel the rest of us can learn what the kids' needs are and how we respond to those needs is entirely upto each individual parent....

Thanks

 

[Yamaka]

Dear Renu:



It is very disheartening to me that you and perhaps many women of this forum would feel this way. We all know mothers are the front liners to respond to the kids' needs, and by hearing and responding to their inner most needs, be material or religious, you are the most important people in shaping their lives, I would say, more than fathers. I am excited and curious to find out, along with some other like minded fathers, as to what our kids are telling the moms in respect to what the religion each one of us practices means to them, whether they are bright, smart or financially well off, or lacking or challenged in their critical thinking or poor!! How do they expect us to respond to their religious needs, how they envision our temples or places of worship in the future when all of us, in 10, 15,20,30 years or whenever long gone!!

Yes I agree with you, the fact that we do not respond to distractions is not due to lack of vocabulary and many thoughts come to my mind to respond to these comments, but it is not the focus of the issue and we have far better things to address in life.

I would request you and other women to write if you feel the rest of us can learn what the kids' needs are and how we respond to those needs is entirely upto each individual parent....

Thanks

Dear Servall:

It's very true that moms have the most influence on kids.. my mom emotionally wrapped me 100% all the time. I will do anything she said.

But all that changed once I left for College.. that's what I hear from other parents in Houston - TBs - here today.

That's the key: What do our kids do on their own after leaving the NEST? Are they truly religious or secular?

Cheers.