sapr,
recently, i heard that some guy in my extended family, on assignment in new york, went to india, got himself an arranged marriage wife.
to his dismay, he found out that she did not know how to cook. his new mother in law, very sweetly explained, that her beloved daughter, had always expected the husband to cook.
you can imagine, even these days, what a great topic for the tongues to get wagging.
i demurred.
whether it be love marriage or an appa-amma sponsored one, the kitchen is the next best place to develop intimacy, only next to the bedroom.
the process of cooking together, tasting the ingredients, giving opinions and the follow up smooches, should be among the highlights of newlyweds.
unfortunately, our boys appear to have missed this very opportunities mile high. they are often very contented to have a leave-alone attitude when it comes to the kitchen.
there are two reasons why i find this with disdain. the first, is what i mentioned above.
the other, is the unfair chauvinistic attitude that cooking is the sole domain of women.
in any household, the ritual of preparing food, should be shared, with the partner most interested in the process, taking the lead.
people like me, who had the experience of living alone before marriage, had the opportunity and necessity to cook for ourselves. it was indeed a pleasant surprise dish that we served our brides on joining us from the old desh.
even today, i consider, my sambhar, rasam, arachu kalakki or puLi inji on par with my wife, only because she says so. and savours it with a gusto. food, when cooked by others, always appear to taste better.
the biggest faux pas that our sometimes idiot boys do, is to compare the wife's food (usually unfavourably) to their mother's. what idiots these are, i do not know.
some sons may grow up in years, but still attached to the mom's mundhaaNai! shame on these guys. they should never have married, for they make the newly wed wives' lives miserable.
as you can see, i think, our boys have a lot of room to grow. the mothers keep them dependent, by instilling a aura of mystery around the cooked food.
personally, i think, any idiot, following the steps as described in samaithup paar can make a decent pullaav or bisi-bela baath, without much effort.
you might have noticed, that i mention the couple, as in thani kudithhanam. i think there is no place for parents to live with young couples, whatever maybe the ancient sentiments.
smart parents, let their children BE. if your affection drives you to extreme extents, fix yourself a household nearby. but not inside theirs.
i can think of only one other unintentioned disregard committed to the sanctity of kitchen-oodal. that is to have a live-in maid doing the cooking.
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