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Clarification of Dharbas

Namaskarams,
Regarding usage of dharbas.....I find, several people mentioning as 2 dhabha pavithram/2 darba koorcham etc etc.
What I know is - 01 dharba during death rituals / 02 dharbas for auspicioius ceremonies and 03 dharbas for punyakalams like shradham and tharpanam.
Kindly clarify which is correct as per our shastras so that this confusion is removed for good.
Thanks
Kannan Iyer
 

prasad1

Well-known member
Namaskarams,
Regarding usage of dharbas.....I find, several people mentioning as 2 dhabha pavithram/2 darba koorcham etc etc.
What I know is - 01 dharba during death rituals / 02 dharbas for auspicioius ceremonies and 03 dharbas for punyakalams like shradham and tharpanam.
Kindly clarify which is correct as per our shastras so that this confusion is removed for good.
Thanks
Kannan Iyer
I am not a traditionalist.
But you are right.

The count of leaves depends upon the function that is held viz. for some functions related to death only single leaf Dharbai is used; for auspicious and daily routine a ring made of two leaves is used; for inauspicious but not death related functions, (i.e. Amavasya Tharpanam, Pithru Pooja etc.) a three-leaf Dharbai ring is used and for the Temple Prayer and Pooja, a four-leaf Dharbai ring is used.

 
I am not a traditionalist.
But you are right.

The count of leaves depends upon the function that is held viz. for some functions related to death only single leaf Dharbai is used; for auspicious and daily routine a ring made of two leaves is used; for inauspicious but not death related functions, (i.e. Amavasya Tharpanam, Pithru Pooja etc.) a three-leaf Dharbai ring is used and for the Temple Prayer and Pooja, a four-leaf Dharbai ring is used.

Thank you Shri Prasad,
Though I was aware of these, due to the confusion created in my mobile posts, where even some Sastrigal are time and again quoting 2 dharbas for Tharpanams , even I got confused.
May be, it was by oversight and I do not wish to blame anybody on the subject, but as brahmins, we must all be aware of these basic facts, though we might not have studies vedas.
Thanks once again.
Kannan Iyer
 
Namaskarams,
As per Sastras, it is said that, one must practice the veda in which he is born i.e. even the mantras, sandhyavandhanam and other vedic rituals.
I belong to Sama Vedha, but didn't learn from in childhood. But I practice thrikala Sandhya vandhanam and other vedic rituals including Shradham and Tharpanams.
My question is, since I have not learnt Sama Vedham, I am chanting Gayatri Japam like Yajur Vedis.
Is this correct, and if wrong, how to correct this long standing mistake on my part.
Thank you
Kannan Iyer
 
Namaskarams,
I am performing Hiranya Shradham for my parents since my wife is not there.
Also, I do not own a home on my own. I perform these shradhams in madams and other well kept places as suggested by Sastrigal. However, as is the practice, I adhere to Brahmana Bhojanam and luckily so far I have managed as laid down in our Sastras.
Although I am paying the dakshinas as requested by the Sastrigals, I have often found that they do not perform the kriya honestly and many of them differ from one another.
Firstly, I do not understand, why this should be done. Secondly, I think, since I have not learnt vedhas, these people take me for granted instead of helping perform the Shradham satisfactorily.
I understand that Shradham gets the right meaning only by performing homam or Aubasanam as is the term and is complete when performed with my wife on my side.
In an inevitable situation as mine, how correct is the behaviour of our respected Sastrigal.
I have never underpaid the dakshninas or restrained myself of the expenses by giving a small amount plus the dhanas.
I believe, this is the main reason, why people have lost faith in performing these important pithru kriyas like Shradham and Tharpanam to one's elders.
Thanks and Regards,
Kannan Iyer
 
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Namaskarams,
I am performing Hiranya Shradham for my parents since my wife is not there.
Also, I do not own a home on my own. I perform these shradhams in madams and other well kept places as suggested by Sastrigal. However, as is the practice, I adhere to Brahmana Bhojanam and luckily so far I have managed as laid down in our Sastras.
Although I am paying the dakshinas as requested by the Sastrigals, I have often found that they do not perform the kriya honestly and many of them differ from one another.
Firstly, I do not understand, why this should be done. Secondly, I think, since I have not learnt vedhas, these people take me for granted instead of helping perform the Shradham satisfactorily.
I understand that Shradham gets the right meaning only by performing homam or Aubasanam as is the term and is complete when performed with my wife on my side.
In an inevitable situation as mine, how correct is the behaviour of our respected Sastrigal.
I have never underpaid the dakshninas or restrained myself of the expenses by giving a small amount plus the dhanas.
I believe, this is the main reason, why people have lost faith in performing these important pithru kriyas like Shradham and Tharpanam to one's elders.
Thanks and Regards,
Kannan Iyer
I agree with you. It is our mistake that we didn't learn vedas sanskrit etc at young age which would help us in such situations. Luckily the Vadhyar who comes to my house to perform Sharadham, Amavasaya etc is perfection personified that he will not tolerate even small error in pronunciation & will ask me repeat. It is rare to get such persons.
 
I wish there is a guideline for the vaidikas from the most respected madams like the Sharadha peetam of Kanchipuram and Sringeri, the Sri Rangam etc etc on the performance of various rituals be it good or bad.
I do agree that, the basic fault lies in the brahmin community and except a few many do not even perform the Thri kala sandhyavandhanam.
So, how do we expect vaidikas to be honest??
But all said and done I believe these guidelines are a must and also hold responsibility on the community itself to adhere to these vedic principles.
 

kamu

Member
Namaskarams,
I am performing Hiranya Shradham for my parents since my wife is not there.
Also, I do not own a home on my own. I perform these shradhams in madams and other well kept places as suggested by Sastrigal. However, as is the practice, I adhere to Brahmana Bhojanam and luckily so far I have managed as laid down in our Sastras.
Although I am paying the dakshinas as requested by the Sastrigals, I have often found that they do not perform the kriya honestly and many of them differ from one another.
Firstly, I do not understand, why this should be done. Secondly, I think, since I have not learnt vedhas, these people take me for granted instead of helping perform the Shradham satisfactorily.
I understand that Shradham gets the right meaning only by performing homam or Aubasanam as is the term and is complete when performed with my wife on my side.
In an inevitable situation as mine, how correct is the behaviour of our respected Sastrigal.
I have never underpaid the dakshninas or restrained myself of the expenses by giving a small amount plus the dhanas.
I believe, this is the main reason, why people have lost faith in performing these important pithru kriyas like Shradham and Tharpanam to one's elders.
Thanks and Regards,
Kannan Iyer
Agree with you on the habits of the brahmanas who come to perform rituals - Its indeed very rare to find a sastrigal [ young or old ] who officiates with Sraddhai - I have had bad experiences with them on 2 occasions - my mother-in-law's death as well as my mother's death - also with the regular srardhams for my father-in-law : every time, without exception, the dakshinai's would be enhanced and especially when it is the 13 day ceremonies after a death, the demands were horrendous ; agreed they have to make a living , and times are difficult, but there should be some rhyme or reason , but the sastrigals should also not be greedy; they seem to be playing on our sentiments that after a loved one's death we will give whatever they ask for - they take one look at your address or house and fix their fees on that !
I also have been feeling that the matadhipatis should take a stance and have some guidelines on the dakshinais to be paid for the charamakriyas. Some regularity should be there , and I also feel that if guidelines come from [let's say] Kanchi or Sringeri , there will not be so much of " fleecing ".
I am sure many people will disagree with me and take me to task for speaking out against the "poor Vadhyars " - but I have never had, nor will have any problem giving to the really needy brahmins !
Please tell me how many Sastrigals pay income tax ? And when demonetisation came they were really hard hit !
P.S. : I am a deeply religious person and always adhere to the rituals and practices of day to day life - just in case somebody trolls me for being "anti brahmin" !
 

ramesh kandadai

New member
Namaskarams,
I am performing Hiranya Shradham for my parents since my wife is not there.
Also, I do not own a home on my own. I perform these shradhams in madams and other well kept places as suggested by Sastrigal. However, as is the practice, I adhere to Brahmana Bhojanam and luckily so far I have managed as laid down in our Sastras.
Although I am paying the dakshinas as requested by the Sastrigals, I have often found that they do not perform the kriya honestly and many of them differ from one another.
Firstly, I do not understand, why this should be done. Secondly, I think, since I have not learnt vedhas, these people take me for granted instead of helping perform the Shradham satisfactorily.
I understand that Shradham gets the right meaning only by performing homam or Aubasanam as is the term and is complete when performed with my wife on my side.
In an inevitable situation as mine, how correct is the behaviour of our respected Sastrigal.
I have never underpaid the dakshninas or restrained myself of the expenses by giving a small amount plus the dhanas.
I believe, this is the main reason, why people have lost faith in performing these important pithru kriyas like Shradham and Tharpanam to one's elders.
Thanks and Regards,
Kannan Iyer
Superb sir, I face the same difficulty in Triplicane Chennai, Each one has his own version and says he is right. we have no option but to do the rites as told by them.
 

prasad1

Well-known member
Sorry, we have digressed from the main topic.
Most of the comments are about Sastrigals.

I assume we have a very high expectation of a "profession", Vadiyar is a profession.
If you take your Rolls Royce car to a local mechanic, he can fix the tires, or check the hoses and get you back on the road. You can not expect the same mechanic to build you a new Rolls Royce car for Rs 50,000.

Fortunately, the mechanic will laugh at the stupidity of expectation, but a Sastrigal can not do that, so they pretend to give an explanation or improvises an explanation.

When I call a carpenter, I do not expect him/her to do brain surgery.

So, if you think you know more than the Sastrigal you hired, hire a better Sastrigal next time.
I do not mean to be rude, and I am not defending any Sastrigal.
We have to manage our expectations.
 

tbs

Well-known member
Sorry, we have digressed from the main topic.
Most of the comments are about Sastrigals.

I assume we have a very high expectation of a "profession", Vadiyar is a profession.
If you take your Rolls Royce car to a local mechanic, he can fix the tires, or check the hoses and get you back on the road. You can not expect the same mechanic to build you a new Rolls Royce car for Rs 50,000.

Fortunately, the mechanic will laugh at the stupidity of expectation, but a Sastrigal can not do that, so they pretend to give an explanation or improvises an explanation.

When I call a carpenter, I do not expect him/her to do brain surgery.

So, if you think you know more than the Sastrigal you hired, hire a better Sastrigal next time.
I do not mean to be rude, and I am not defending any Sastrigal.
We have to manage our expectations.
hi
i agreed sir.... So, if you think you know more than the Sastrigal you hired, hire a better Sastrigal next

time. dont just complaining....pay more....get service more....
 

shivakaid

Member
Namaskaram ! In the current corona times or in regions where vadhiyars are not available/accessible, can we not have a ‘do-it-yourself’ annual shradha mantrams and procedures on youtube or any medium? The karta will do it with much more devotion (like we do amavasya tarpanams on our own) and without the disappointment of not being anle to do it on the tithi. As for brahmins required (2 brahmins) he can invite from his neighbourhood or friend circle. So please can anyone learned in this forum here suggest any learning material for the annual Shraddha kariyams? I am happy to learn than engage vadhyars in the sorrounding circumstances. Thank you ,Shiva
 

prasad1

Well-known member
Please Visit







I am pretty sure you can find may more.

My priest will conduct the whole thing remotely for a fee. If interested please PM me.
 

shivakaid

Member
Please Visit







I am pretty sure you can find may more.

My priest will conduct the whole thing remotely for a fee. If interested please PM me.
 

renuka

Well-known member
The issue here seems to be about service rendered not to expectations.
So its about looking for more conducive alternatives and keeping in mind to be fair to service provider(priest) and client.

One thing we all as humans had to gulp during the lockdown Covid 19 is that whatever we were dependent on externally had to be done away with.

May be we can all use this valuable lesson in life to be more self dependent as much as we can and keeping God as our guide.

Its not as easy becos we humans prefer to praise or blame everything external to us but its a good start to find self dependent alternative solutions.
 

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