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Amid rage over ‘Love Jihad’ what about what women want? Abhishek Saha, Hindustan Time

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prasad1

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As India debates the much-talked about ‘Love Jihad’ and forced conversions, feminists feel the political mainstreaming of the narrative, apart from fuelling communal strife, also signals difficult times for women’s rights movements in the country.
Hindu right-wing proponents allege ‘Love Jihad’ is a conspiracy by Muslim men to expand their community by pretending to be Hindus and tricking Hindu women into marrying them. Accordingly, the Hindu woman must be protected from such overtures.

Now, this is a jarring note for those vocal about women’s rights.

“From the perspective of a woman’s right to choose, the concept of ‘Love Jihad’ is a very problematic one,” says Anjali Monteiro, Professor and Dean, School of Media and Cultural Studies, Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai.

She explains that the idea of ‘Love Jihad’ assumes, at its very base, that a woman’s honour lies only in her body, and her sexuality needs to be controlled by others, which is in contradiction to every notion of a woman’s right over herself.


Novelist and poet Meena Kandasamy feels the robust call to fight the perceived ‘Love Jihad’ not only snatches away the right of sexual self-determination of women, but also makes women vulnerable to honour killings, ostracisation and shaming whenever they are transgressive.

“An idea like ‘anti-Love Jihad’ is a step to prevent women's role in the public sphere, and limit their access to public space. They will be policed and restricted to their homes, and they will become puppets,” says Kandasamy.

The concept of ‘Love Jihad’, she adds, infantilises women, assuming that they are incapable of thinking for themselves.

Women activists argue that people creating a ruckus over alleged ‘Love Jihad’ cases completely overlook the fact that Hindu women can also willingly fall in love with a Muslim man.

Historian Charu Gupta writes in the Economic and Political Weekly that women can actually be “actors and subjects in their own right by choosing elopements and conversions”.

Moreover, in a public statement on ‘Love Jihad’, issued a few days ago, leading women activists, including lawyer and activist Vrinda Grover, social activist Teesta Setalvad, and activist Shabman Hashmi of Act Now for Harmony and Democracy (ANHAD), said despite conservative diktats, inter-religious marriages had been a part of the Indian milieu for a long time and might, in fact, help build a “united and strong India in the future”.

Amid rage over ?Love Jihad? what about what women want? - Hindustan Times
 
In UP, community bans mobiles for girls to fight ‘love jihad’
Ishita Mishra,TNN

An influential committee of vaishyas in Uttar Pradesh has asked school girls from the community to stop using cell phones to save themselves from falling prey to "love jihad".

In what is perhaps a first for an urban association with such reach and influence, the Akhil Bharitiya Vaishya Ekta Parishad (ABVEP), a committee of vaishyas (mostly traders by caste), has decided to ban the use of mobile phones by school-going girls and teenagers, staring with Agra.
...........................................
ABEVP national president Sumant Gupta said the move to ban cellphones for the community's girls was needed as the Samajwadi Party government in the state offered "special privileges to a particular community", leaving other communities vulnerable.
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Reacting to Gupta's comments, SSP Shalabh Mathur said the term "love jihad" had been coined only to create fear and divide society along communal lines.

Zishan Ahmed, a post-graduate student at Baba Saheb Bheemrao Ambedkar University, reacted with dismay. "These diktats are bewildering and humiliating for youngsters of both communities," he said.

Surendra Sharma, a city-based social activist, wasn't too pleased either. "The level of distrust between the two communities is more and more evident. This is happening because those who polarized people before the Lok Sabha elections now enjoy ministerial posts in state and Union cabinets," he said.
In UP, community bans mobiles for girls to fight ?love jihad? - The Times of India


This may resonate with members here, but is this what we want for our girls?
 
I feel no one can commit Love Jihad if there is no willing partner.

It takes two to tango.

Its high time if Hindus who think this is a problem..to analyze why this is happening.

May be its not even a Jihad to start with.

When I was in college there was a Kannada Brahmin girl from an orthodox home who was dating a Muslim guy.

She did not marry him anyway.

She did not have marriage in mind at all.

The reason she wanted to date a Muslim was ..she wanted to feel daring to break rules!

That was her reason!

We were all shocked to note a simple conservative girl could be so bold.

None of us non conventional girls dated anyone who was a Non Hindu because we had clear rules on what we wanted.

There was no reason for anyone of us non conventional girl to prove a point of being daring to anyone.

May be because we were given some amount of freedom at home to respect ourselves and be who we really are and realized that Hinduism actually gives us the most freedom even to reject.

Even Hindu girls from USA never dated a Muslim/Christian guy becos they felt only Hinduism is the coolest religion and all other religions impose rules.

So I feel the root cause of this problem of Love Jihad is the conservative girls are trying to prove a point. After all Love Jihad seems to be more in rural and conservative girls.

They might not actually be in love with any of the Muslim guys but they just want some freedom to break free from the shackles of conservatism.

Its high time girls are treated with respect and not forced to be conservative if they dont want too and I am sure no one will succumb to a Love Jihad cos they know Hinduism in the real sense can offer freedom.

The problem is Hinduism is becoming contaminated with Talibanism and ISISism these days and we have girls trying to run away from it.

Hinduism is freedom..dont make it a struggle!
 
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Why hindu girls from USA ?-I also feel Hinduism is the coolest religion . No other religion will give me the freedom to be myself exercising my own rights and choices .

it is the conservative parents specially of TB community driving their girl children thru excessive controls and restrictions into arms of undesirable elements of other religions as

an escape route.

ypu know banning of cell phones in anna univ colleges is driving students into illicit relationships outside college campuses,

you have to make a visit to guindy park right outside guindy campus to meet many student couples in the afternoons of working days.sorry to be a spoil sport giving

away info. on student hideouts.lol
 
you have to make a visit to guindy park right outside guindy campus to meet many student couples in the afternoons of working days.sorry to be a spoil sport giving

away info. on student hideouts.lol

Ha Ha Ha!

This is nothing! When I was in college the area behind the morgue used to be student hideout at night becos no non medic dare gone behind a morgue at nite!LOL
 
He mixed well with the crowd, for it was but welcoming, and a rousing one at that. It welcomed all, for was it not known for that? The savants had spoken about it for long that the image was affirmed in the noveau intellectuals. And they who belonged to the crowd were all men of knowledge, for who could voice sanity and hold high the impartial eye of rationality in all actions, giving liberty to all, and taking none. What was stealth had now become right; naysayers were but jaundiced in the eye. And feely he went sowing the seeds for the crops that would be harvested in due time, for a purpose that he alone knew.

:)
 
......... Even Hindu girls from USA never dated a Muslim/Christian guy becos they felt only Hinduism is the coolest religion and all other religions impose rules..........
Dear Renu,

May be in your college some years back!

I know a few tambram girls based in the U S of A who date with guys from other religions!

FYI, in a village in Kerala, some Muslim boys lured many not-so-rich brahmin girls by presenting them costly gifts.

Many were victims, eloped with those guys and some were deserted later on by those guys. :sad:
 
Dear Krish Sir,

It is not the conservative parents who drive the Hindu girls to other religions! It is poverty which drives them in many cases!

These girls wrongly believe that other religions don't have any restrictions and repent later on, finding out the truth! :tsk:

It is rightly said: இக்கரைக்கு அக்கரை பச்சை (ikkaraikku akkarai pachchai)!
 
What is being reveled in rotheram in northern uk, has happened in kerala, UP, bihar, bengal and other places. More than 1600 girls were abused by pakistani and kashmiri muslims in the past decade in rotheram. The secular authorities hushed up the matter, and a social worker who made a report of 250 girls abused was asked to keep quiet and sent on a 'diversity workshop'. Sada log and secularists must wake up. The MSM is still keen to hide love jihad and is keen to protect the culprits and blame the victims. It is a serious issue and must be exposed and tackled. Social media, fortunately, is doing the job of police in bringing such cases to light.

In the case of a sikh girl from UK, the muslim man pretended to be a punjabi sikh, was wearing sikh symbols, got her a mobile, spent lot of money in entertaining her, took her to a hotel, drugged her, photographed her, blackmailed her and then forced her to have sex with others for money. In the case of the shooter champion, the man kohli and his family pretended to be hindus, had a proper marriage, and then forced her to convert (luckily without success) with physical assault and harm. Now the husband and his mother are arrested on charges of cheating, forced conversion, intimidation and assault. He is said to possess a dozen mobiles, tens of sim cards (police and judiciary) and over ten vehicles registered in his name. And he has no known source of income!

It is the duty of every responsible indian to expose such people and not take shelter under the dirty tent of secularism and appeasement.
 
What is being reveled in rotheram in northern uk, has happened in kerala, UP, bihar, bengal and other places. More than 1600 girls were abused by pakistani and kashmiri muslims in the past decade in rotheram. The secular authorities hushed up the matter, and a social worker who made a report of 250 girls abused was asked to keep quiet and sent on a 'diversity workshop'. Sada log and secularists must wake up. The MSM is still keen to hide love jihad and is keen to protect the culprits and blame the victims. It is a serious issue and must be exposed and tackled. Social media, fortunately, is doing the job of police in bringing such cases to light.

In the case of a sikh girl from UK, the muslim man pretended to be a punjabi sikh, was wearing sikh symbols, got her a mobile, spent lot of money in entertaining her, took her to a hotel, drugged her, photographed her, blackmailed her and then forced her to have sex with others for money. In the case of the shooter champion, the man kohli and his family pretended to be hindus, had a proper marriage, and then forced her to convert (luckily without success) with physical assault and harm. Now the husband and his mother are arrested on charges of cheating, forced conversion, intimidation and assault. He is said to possess a dozen mobiles, tens of sim cards (police and judiciary) and over ten vehicles registered in his name. And he has no known source of income!

It is the duty of every responsible indian to expose such people and not take shelter under the dirty tent of secularism and appeasement.

Sri Sarang

The media report in OP does not mention any of the issues and abuses of the past like you have shared here.

I do not know if a blanket rule banning cell phone is the answer but without the context it makes the community undertaking such measures stupid and heartless and narrow minded.

Journalism involves reporting all aspects of a situation and let the reader form their judgement.
 
There was a Sadhu with Bhasmam over his body and matted hair, and under the influence of drugs he murdered a boy as bali, so all sadhus must be mad and should be arrested, or shunned. That is the logic used by some in this site. There are muslim criminals and there are Hindu criminals. Let us deal with criminals of all shades equally.
For every Chota Shakeel there is a Chota Rajen.

For every Dharmendra- hemamalini who used religion to cheat Ms. Prakash Kaur, there are Muslim men who cheated Hindu girl.
 

FYI, in a village in Kerala, some Muslim boys lured many not-so-rich brahmin girls by presenting them costly gifts.

Many were victims, eloped with those guys and some were deserted later on by those guys. :sad:


Dear RR ji,

When I was a student in India I noted that Indian citizens girl whether rich or poor both fell flat for costly gifts from guys.

I failed to understand why?

Even rich girls were falling flat for guys who gave them costly gifts.

Girls from other countries seemed a bit careful when a guy presents us costly gifts.

For example if a guy gives us costly gifts the 1st few thing that comes to the mind is:

1)Is he seeking something else?

2)Is he trying to show money power?

3)Does he think money can buy love?

4)Does he think I have no dignity that I will fall for money?

5)Does he think I would be obliged to him?



So most of us who thought on those lines avoided those guys who seemed to be giving costly gifts.

But the Indian girls from India did not think that way..if they got a costly gift they would beam with joy and keep bragging to the whole hostel that this guy gave them this or gave them that.

They seemed easily lured by money even though some of them were very rich themselves.

Poor girls too would fall for money spending guys.

So the problem with Love Jihad in India is somewhat linked to the desire for money in girls.

That needs to be addressed.
 
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men have three weaknesses 3Ws Wine ,Women and Wealth . they like them in the order of priority given.

some try getting women by parting with some of their wealth.

some may part with both women and wealth for wine.

this is wisdom of a man who loves all three equally and does not part with one for the other .lol
 
I think girls fall more than men for something that is associated with power whether be it money or position or spirituality etc. I am not sure about the othet extreme, which is lack of money or position
 
I think girls fall more than men for something that is associated with power whether be it money or position or spirituality etc. I am not sure about the othet extreme, which is lack of money or position




People fall for something which they desire and not really fall a person actually.

But when we meet our equal..there is no need to fall..its just union.
 
People fall for something which they desire and not really fall a person actually.

But when we meet our equal..there is no need to fall..its just union.
Equality exists only in maths books

so one needs to fall from a mighty pedastal only while courting the other gender .lol
 
"Journalism involves reporting all aspects of a situation and let the reader form their judgement." Golden words. Unfortunately in india, media does not live by this code. There are court judgements, representation from christisan and hindu religious, semi-religious and social groups highlighting this issue, but not getting adequate media coverage; in fact they are suppressed. This happens in UK and USA too, putting a tarpaulin on the unfortunate episode in the name of secularism.\, diversity, political correctness and what not. In UK 91% of the child/girl abuse is done by a group which is just 4% of the population.

Banning of cell phones is impractical like prohibition; girls and boys will find ways to evade the ban even in villages. What is perplexing is the parents do not know that the girls have mobiles, and how they manage to pay phone bills of a few hundred rupees.

Regarding bans, again, the media will only give a biased, edited and selective version. In village panchayats too, decision is taken based on the inputs and views of parents.

Love jihad is a nightmare for the parents and immediate community. Political correctness and pseudo secularism and the media suppress any attempt to analyse events and make public all issues.

Sri Sarang

The media report in OP does not mention any of the issues and abuses of the past like you have shared here.

I do not know if a blanket rule banning cell phone is the answer but without the context it makes the community undertaking such measures stupid and heartless and narrow minded.

Journalism involves reporting all aspects of a situation and let the reader form their judgement.
 
Totally wrong on all counts. Regarding criminals, one must apply - numbers, intent, method, catalyst, indoctrination. Blind faith in dubious neutrality, and pronounced anti hindu sentiment will cause .

Hemamalini case is not love jihad. In love jihad there is cheating, undue pressure, blackmail, secrecy and violence. It was a hindu-hindu marriage, and attempt to escape bigamy charges. Anyway marriage was as per hindu customs. Can you give an example of muslim men cheating hindu girl and what happened after the nikkah?

UK is getting wiser, hopefully. Hindus are aware of this, but unable to act decisively. Inter religious marriage has to be registered in front of a magistrate. If it is done legally all the way, then parents, relatives and friends will be forced to accept such alliances.

There was a Sadhu with Bhasmam over his body and matted hair, and under the influence of drugs he murdered a boy as bali, so all sadhus must be mad and should be arrested, or shunned. That is the logic used by some in this site. There are muslim criminals and there are Hindu criminals. Let us deal with criminals of all shades equally.
For every Chota Shakeel there is a Chota Rajen.

For every Dharmendra- hemamalini who used religion to cheat Ms. Prakash Kaur, there are Muslim men who cheated Hindu girl.
 
The name sound strange - LOVE JIHAD.. The word Jihad means "'struggle by islam against those who do not believe in islam and who do not acknowledge and submit themselves to Islam"". In this context, how will marrying someone from non believers will achieve the stated objective. That's the moot question. It is a reality that ""organised religion allow women from non believers to submit themselves to Islam by marrying men from the religion". In certain cases, the women is forced to convert to Islam before marriage and in some cases, the conversion is forced before marriage itself. Again here, there is a legal angle. Under Islamic law, property of a muslim will go to legal heirs (means, to someone who is born out of a marriage which happened under Islamic law). If the women is not a muslim and if a muslim marry, the marriage will have to under Special Marriages Act. If the first marriage of a muslim man is under Special Marriages Act, the auto inheritence law won't be applicable. Hence the Muslims always want their youngsters to be married under Personal laws ( before someone could blink, at a tender age, they get their children married to another muslim under their personal laws) to avoid problems. When the SC came out with a judgement on marriage age, the muslim community objected to it and said, it cannot be applicable to us... Under Islamic religious principles, a women is born for specific purposes. islamic principles don't allow muslim women marrying outside islam but this principle is not extended to Muslim men !!! In the end the word LOVE is not appropriate (as this is not happening because of LOVE) - some elements came out with this word called LOVE (and everyone argue LOVE is natural and there cannot be restrictions on LOVE etc.). Would encourage all to read and understand more about such subjects as these are above what actually is doled out by MEDIA...
 
The question arises why the Hindu girls are gullible and fall for the flamboyant Muslim youth..Why can't the Hindu boys do the same..

The problem arises because in most cases the Hindu boys are the only sons of their parents (unlike the Muslim boys who have no constraints on that front ) and they would like to follow the path laid out by their parents! They have to study or be in father's business...There is no time for love adventures

So the blame can be put on the so called Population control programmes by the Government which unwittlingly targets the Hindu families thus making the demographics lopsided
 
The question arises why the Hindu girls are gullible and fall for the flamboyant Muslim youth..Why can't the Hindu boys do the same..

The problem arises because in most cases the Hindu boys are the only sons of their parents (unlike the Muslim boys who have no constraints on that front ) and they would like to follow the path laid out by their parents! They have to study or be in father's business...There is no time for love adventures

So the blame can be put on the so called Population control programmes by the Government which unwittlingly targets the Hindu families thus making the demographics lopsided
vgane ji
your theory if far fetched

Our TB boys do not have the enterprise to engage in love business

it is the way they have been brought up that is responsible for this .

regards
 
vgane ji
your theory if far fetched

Our TB boys do not have the enterprise to engage in love business

it is the way they have been brought up that is responsible for this .

regards

Krishji,

Yes, the TB boys are not as adventurous as their Muslim counterparts...Also I mentioned about parental upbringing ..There is no time available for such activities as they are devoted to studies or job..Also there is intense competition to come up on top only in education or job related and not in love matters
 
Krishji,

Yes, the TB boys are not as adventurous as their Muslim counterparts...Also I mentioned about parental upbringing ..There is no time available for such activities as they are devoted to studies or job..Also there is intense competition to come up on top only in education or job related and not in love matters
love related activities call for bonding and social skills which many TBs do not possess.

so love takes a backseat.lol
 
Looking at some of the opinion of men in this site you can expect that TB boys too have such arcane POV. No wonder girls do not want to fall for TB boys. The parents have to evolve them self to the modern world before they can raise boys for this century.

Somehow the dawn of 21st century missed the TB parents. (LOL).
It was ok to live in previous century as it was arranged marriage (Thank the lord). The girls are more demanding now.
The enterprising boys may be muslim (look at all film stars).
 
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