Philosophy for Old Age

[Visalakshi Ramani]

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dear Shree. B.M.K,

Beasts have existed all along- just as angels have!

The only difference is that they get wider publicity and

are exposed to the world, more than ever before! :blabla:

 

[sarma-61]

Shri Krishnamurthy Sir,

your emotion is clear. but in today's world people have no time, many have neither money or convenience to look after their aged parents. so they allow these people to go to some free old age homes. sometimes old people also give very biased picture because they are not looked after. so to know the truth we should enquire and find out details. children can not be assumed to be sure old age support in future. people wil have to think 'i came empty handed, i'll go empty handed, who is permanent here, who can be trusted?" and provide money for their old age themselves.

no use cursing or blaming children. there is no point in expecting children to look after one in old age. that is how the world moves.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear friends,

As Prof. Nara says, living with grand children is a bliss.... No doubt about it. The love showered on one's grand children is much more than the love showered on one's own children!

But, most of the Chennai houses (I live in Chennai) have two members (viz) a senior citizen husband and a - would be / already- senior citizen wife and their child / children live overseas! Think of their plights...........They meet the grand children once in two or three years, if they can not fly overseas every year!

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Dear Sri Haridasa Siva,

I am happy to read your rejoinder to my post. What I have written is about my personal views on old age. To tell the truth having served in Private companies, I do not earn any pension. Though I have worked till 72 years of age, I do not have big savings in my bank. My only asset is a house and my loving family who live with me.I value the warmth of our near and dear more than all the money we have. I have my health problems too like any other old person. My doctor takes care of them.

What I have not written is that it is imperative for the old people to adjust themselves to the present generation and understand changes cannot be stopped.

Please be free to air your views.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

Sir,

Although I referred to one of your statements, I did not really put my post as a rejoinder to your post. I just wanted to mention some of the issues that I felt are important in this regard. By giving me a rather detailed reply and by adding at the end, "please feel free to add your comments", you have proved your magnanimity. No wonder you have loving relationship. You can win anyone's heart with such kindness, love, empathy and respect.

One more issue that I forgot to mention was that it is essential for an old person to have his/her spouse alive. I have seen many old people (especially men) without spouse being given a raw deal by his children.

Lokah samasthaa sukhino bhavantu.

 

[VPK]

Brahmanyan

Sir,

Although I referred to one of your statements, I did not really put my post as a rejoinder to your post. I just wanted to mention some of the issues that I felt are important in this regard. By giving me a rather detailed reply and by adding at the end, "please feel free to add your comments", you have proved your magnanimity. No wonder you have loving relationship. You can win anyone's heart with such kindness, love, empathy and respect.

One more issue that I forgot to mention was that it is essential for an old person to have his/her spouse alive. I have seen many old people (especially men) without spouse being given a raw deal by his children.

Lokah samasthaa sukhino bhavantu.

DEAR BRAHMANYAN,

I was really happy to read your sincere and genuine words.
Probably you are an example of SATYAM SHIVAM SUNDERAM.
Sir, sincere regards to you.
VPK

 

[Raji Ram]

DEAR BRAHMANYAN,

I was really happy to read your sincere and genuine words.
Probably you are an example of SATYAM SHIVAM SUNDERAM.
Sir, sincere regards to you.
VPK

Dear Sir,

Yes! You are correct in describing Sri. Brahmanyan.

But the quote in your post has words of Haridasa Siva!!

As Siva points out, women folk have the courage to live alone at their old age whereas men folk find it difficult, especially if they are super senior citizens... I mean 85 + :yo:

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Brahmanyan]

Sir,

.............
One more issue that I forgot to mention was that it is essential for an old person to have his/her spouse alive. I have seen many old people (especially men) without spouse being given a raw deal by his children.

Lokah samasthaa sukhino bhavantu.

Dear Sri Haridasa Siva,

Yes, what you have said is correct. The support of the spouse in the old age is gift of God. The relationship between the husband and wife matures with age when they complete building up a family and bringing next generation to take over the thread.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Brahmanyan]

][/B]

As Siva points out, women folk have the courage to live alone at their old age whereas men folk find it difficult, especially if they are super senior citizens... I mean 85 + :yo:

Regards,
Raji Ram

Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

True, Women are endowed by nature the will power and tenacity to face any situation better than men. I have known men folk wilting easily under pressure in adverse situations especially when they reach old age, whereas women face and endure such situations better in old age.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

 

[sarma-61]

old men 'wilting' when wife dies is mostly due to two reasons.
1. these fellows never learnt to cook but only to say what they want and eat and then criticise.

2. in spite of all outward power and strength and all most men are /were toys of their wives. so when the battery goes phut the toy becomes unable to act.

women know cooking, they also know how to rule over men silently even if they will show all world that husband is lord and master. most men are so programmed-dumb that even now they don't understand this simple matter. for rough and ready check pl. see if you know any male professional cook 'wilting' because his wife dies. also chronic bachelors living beyond 60 or 70.

 

[Raji Ram]

old men 'wilting' when wife dies is mostly due to two reasons.
1. these fellows never learnt to cook but only to say what they want and eat and then criticise.

2. in spite of all outward power and strength and all most men are /were toys of their wives. so when the battery goes phut the toy becomes unable to act.

women know cooking, they also know how to rule over men silently even if they will show all world that husband is lord and master. most men are so programmed-dumb that even now they don't understand this simple matter. for rough and ready check pl. see if you know any male professional cook 'wilting' because his wife dies. also chronic bachelors living beyond 60 or 70.

It is NOT the inability to cook food that makes life hard for super seniors.

Now that there are so many caterers providing food on daily basis too, they should be happy!

What a married man loses when he loses his wife is the moral support that he gets from her.

hwell:
Raji Ram

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The women remain the unsung and unrecognized hero(ines) in the

background, serving as shock-absorbers, serving as stress busters,

rudders of the household, leashes of the otherwise uncontrollable menfolk

and being-taken-for-granted all the time. They don't 'really exist' until

they 'cease to exist!' How very strange! :fish:

 

[Nara]

......What a married man loses when he loses his wife is the moral support that he gets from her.

Hi, the corollary of this, in the context of the claim that a widow manages better than a widower, is, a wife does not miss moral support after the husband is gone. Is this because she did not get any when he was alive, and so, nothing different?

Or, is it that the husband values the moral support he gets from the wife so much that he misses it when she is gone, whereas, the wife doesn't value his moral support that much?

I am sure we can think of many more theoretical possibilities, but I think it is not wise to make any general statement -- each couple has a way of working out a balance. What is important, IMO, is try to understand and respect the feelings of each individual, irrespective of gender.

Thank you...

 

[Raji Ram]

Hi, the corollary of this, in the context of the claim that a widow manages better than a widower, is, a wife does not miss moral support after the husband is gone. Is this because she did not get any when he was alive, and so, nothing different?

Or, is it that the husband values the moral support he gets from the wife so much that he misses it when she is gone, whereas, the wife doesn't value his moral support that much?

I am sure we can think of many more theoretical possibilities, but I think it is not wise to make any general statement -- each couple has a way of working out a balance. What is important, IMO, is try to understand and respect the feelings of each individual, irrespective of gender.

Thank you...

Respected Prof Sir!

I am not trying to generalize anything. The interaction between each couple is different. What I tried to say is that women manage better than men, especially when they are super seniors! May be, women are more talkative and share more with others than men do. (is it good or bad?)

Anyway, this is my personal opinion, after seeing lot of lonely thaathaas and paattis in our circle!

Regards,
Raji Ram.

NB: I guess life can NOT be as easy as a mathematical equation!!! hwell:

 

[Raji Ram]

The women remain the unsung and unrecognized hero(ines) in the

background, serving as shock-absorbers, serving as stress busters,

rudders of the household, leashes of the otherwise uncontrollable menfolk

and being-taken-for-granted all the time. They don't 'really exist' until

they 'cease to exist!' How very strange! :fish:

I think the more efficient the lady of the house is, the more she is taken for granted!!

Just have a look at the 'not so talented ones' with loving husbands...

The husband never misses a chance to praise her!

Life is like that..........:madgrin:

But, we should accept that there are a few husbands who are behind their better half's success.
Otherwise, how can we see happily married ladies in lime light? :first:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I think the more efficient the lady of the house is, the more she is taken for granted!!

Just have a look at the 'not so talented ones' with loving husbands...

The husband never misses a chance to praise her!

Life is like that..........:madgrin:




My dear Raji,

you can't be more correct! It is the not-so-talented-wife that gets all the praise,

all the support, and a strong shoulder to lean on- all her life.

The talented one has to lend her lean shoulders to others to lean on! But no one

misses an opportunity to criticize her-just as no one misses an opportunity to

praise the other kind of wife. :boink:

Well! We can't miss what we never had in the first place.

For every man he is the center of the world. For every woman her husband is the

center of the world. Since she is eccentric (not on the center of he circle) she

manages better by making herself useful to every other person in the family.

I remember a small child saying that her grandma used to put the eye drops for

her grandpa. But no one will put for her grandma since she can do it herself!

That summarizes the philosophy of a woman's life.

Want to survive better in the world- be independent!

with best wishes,
V.R akka.

 

[Nara]

....I am not trying to generalize anything.

Sorry, I did not have you in my mind with this comment, I just used your post express my view. Sorry for causing the misunderstanding.

after seeing lot of lonely thaathaas and paattis in our circle!

You know, I kept thinking of your comment on grandchildren living far away for many grandparents to enjoy their company. In many ways my generation, those just retired or about to retire, have had to face monumental changes in many spheres. It is this generation that finally turned its back on rural life and took to urban one. It is this generation that had to let go of living off the land using labor of others, all of us had to be engineers, doctors, and accountants to make it, just being absentee landlord was not an option. Our protected monopoly in education was to be no more. Our previous generation was ultra conservative and our next one is ultra liberal, we are caught in between.

Perhaps I am being overly self-centered, every generation undergoes changes and they all probably think the changes they are facing are the greatest. But, for some reason I feel in our case, this is not just hyperbole.

I see our next generation not stuck on old ideals. I see them taking the changes in their stride and doing much better than us, not wringing their hands, not fantasizing changing the diapers of grandchildren, not wedded to old ways and antiquated notions of homelands, etc. Our children will probably take on their old age with the same vigor and adventure with which they are taking on their present stage in life.

Me, I still want to be near my grandchildren changing their diapers.

Cheers!

 

[VPK]

Nice to read.

VPK

 

[Brahmanyan]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I see our next generation not stuck on old ideals. I see them taking the changes in their stride and doing much better than us, not wringing their hands, not fantasizing changing the diapers of grandchildren, not wedded to old ways and antiquated notions of homelands, etc. Our children will probably take on their old age with the same vigor and adventure with which they are taking on their present stage in life.

Me, I still want to be near my grandchildren changing their diapers.

Cheers!

Dear Sri Narayanan,

We do not know what is in stock for the next generation in this fast changing Social thinking in Brahmin Community. What ever may be the outcome, God willing, I for one want to be near my grandchildren to enjoy the love and warmth always.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

 

[Raji Ram]

1. Our previous generation was ultra conservative and our next one is ultra liberal, we are caught in between.
........................

2. Me, I still want to be near my grandchildren changing their diapers.

Cheers!

1. You said it, Prof Sir!
2. We (me and my better half) should fly soon to do the job! :baby:...eace:

Regards.........

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I am just getting jittery about my old age already. Human life is becoming increasingly difficult.

 

[sarma-61]

I am just getting jittery about my old age already. Human life is becoming increasingly difficult.

why shd you? of course some of us may have to suffer much before end comes. but in final analysis man is just a vanishing thing like flash of light. he comes from unknown goes to unknown-in the middle gets many funny and big ideas about himself. truth is we are nothing, we are capable of nothing except we can behave well and throw out false greatness about ourself. buddha said this truth but it was called sunyavada and pooh poohed. adhvaitam says same thing but is called great. this is my ignorant summing up.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Nothing is superfluous OR unnecessary in God's creation right from the smalles ant

to the greatest whale.

Each one is assigned a task to perform -small or great- and it is the choice of

God! We are too small, too puny and too insignificant to understand His master

mind - but that should not stop us from performing our parts, to the best of our

ability. :roll:

 

[Brahmanyan]

: Philosophy for Old Age

I am just getting jittery about my old age already. Human life is becoming increasingly difficult.

Dear Sri Siva,

Nothing is there to be jittery about old age. It is a natural process just like childhood and adulthood. Please be assured that every problem or difficulty has a solution too. Also note there is no "fear" in the present. It is always about the future.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Dear Sri Siva,

Nothing is there to be jittery about old age. It is a natural process just like childhood and adulthood. Please be assured that every problem or difficulty has a solution too. Also note there is no "fear" in the present. It is always about the future.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

What you have said is true. Thanks for the word of comfort.