Philosophy for Old Age

[B.Krishnamurthy]

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TO ALL,
We cannot generalise these cases.In my case I was staying alone in my own house after my wife's death in FEBRUARY,2003.My second daughter insisted that I should move to her flat which is very close to my house.Since we had more space in our house, she moved with her husband and children to stay in my house and gave the flat for rent.My son in USA has been insisting that I should move to USA and stay with him.
Initially I got a ten year Visa, stayed with my son from September2003 to February 2004 and returned to INDIA cutting short my stay in USA by one month to be present with my last daughter for her second delivery in NEW DELHI
Though I promised my son that I will visit him every year,I could not make the trips as promised till 2008.He insisted and got me"Green Card" and I am now permanently staying with my son and making trips to INDIA.
In families who cherish certain values,Elders will be looked after well.
I agree with Mr.TBS that life in America is very mechanical with lot of tensions.One cannot lead a leisurely life as we do in INDIA.There is no JOB guarantee and anyone can be fired at any time.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Growing old is not everybody's privilege. It would be good if people discuss some myths of old age. Like old people are forgetful. I feel not everybody or rather only a very few, must have this problem. Others are not forgetful but have too many problems or ideas weighing them down and consequently may appear to be forgetful. A husband of a mutually dedicated (you can repeat it) couple narrated his condition at over 85 years. He was active, mobile and taking care of himself. One of the days after deliberating for a good 2 hours he asked his dedicated wife for a glass of hot water. The lady chided him for drinking water too many times. Yes it was an old age problem! Is it for the husband, or for the devoted lady? Mind is only as young as it was ever before if you try to keep it that way.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The best thing is to forget that -

we are forgetful and go on with life.:bounce:


We don't lose what we constantly use.

So use it if you don't intend to lost it! :drum:

 

[bharadwajgiridhar]

i am not so much knowledgeable in whatever issues you people discuss but one thought i would like to share, if elders are ready to participate learn and enjoy with the next younger generation, they should also spend time, which i doubt very few only are privileged to have so

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

dear Mr. Bharadwaj Giridhar,

We, the senior citizens, have all the time in the world. We love to spend it with

the younger generations.

But the next younger generation is busy earning money and the one next to it is

busy with studies. Some people are satisfied with watching T.V, napping and

gossiping. Others come out and try to share ideas like we do. All these just to

spend time usefully and try NOT to kill time. :bored:

with best wishes,
V.R.

 

[bharadwajgiridhar]

hi mam again to confirm for all i am a lady not sir this is my son's name and as you said the next generation to come up esp brahmins is not a joke in that toiling they are so mechanical but i feel inspite of it should find time to share with us

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

WOW! I must have addressed you as Mr. Bharadwaj Giridhar at least 50 times

by now! Suddenly you turn out to be 'your' mother!! Who would have ever

thought so! Life has become mechanical long ago. We too lived mechanically in

our younger years and seem to have become a little more relaxed now.

with warm regards,
V.R.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear sister,

Copy pasting a portion of bharadwajgiridhar's post in my thread eNNa alaigaL...

"tamil font
mam thank you i wud like to clarify one thing i am not sir i am a lady,................."

So, hereafter, Ms. Bharadwaj Giridhar!!

. . Raji Ram

 

[VPK]

Brahmins

hi mam again to confirm for all i am a lady not sir this is my son's name and as you said the next generation to come up esp brahmins is not a joke in that toiling they are so mechanical but i feel inspite of it should find time to share with us

DEAR ALL,
However it is disturbing, it is true that times are difficult for brahmins.
VPK

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear friends,

The previous generation had the motto of life as 'live and let live'. Now it is 'let live!'

As long as the parents are able to take care of themselves, they should thank God for His small mercies!

After seeing a wide circle of our friends and relatives, these words came in my mind:

'பிற்காலத்தில் தன் தேவைகளைத் தன் பிள்ளை கவனிப்பான் என
எக்காலத்திலும் கற்பனை வேண்டாம்! அறிவீரே! பெற்றோரே!

தன் உழைப்பால் சேர்த்த செல்வம், தானம் தருமம் போகத்
தனக்கென்றே வைத்தவர்தான் கலிநாளில் பிழைத்திடுவர்!'

There are still a few in the younger generation, who are willing to keep their parents / parent with them and so do we have rains!

Almost all of us know the Bhaja Govindham stanza referring to 'jarjara dEhE' ... :hail:

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear sister,

Copy pasting a portion of bharadwajgiridhar's post in my thread eNNa alaigaL...

"tamil font
mam thank you i wud like to clarify one thing i am not sir i am a lady,................."

So, hereafter, Ms. Bharadwaj Giridhar!!

. . Raji Ram

One more mistake! She happens to be Bharadwaj Giridhar AMMA!

:dance:

 

[Brahmanyan]

dear Mr. Bharadwaj Giridhar,

We, the senior citizens, have all the time in the world. We love to spend it with

the younger generations.

But the next younger generation is busy earning money and the one next to it is

busy with studies. Some people are satisfied with watching T.V, napping and

gossiping. Others come out and try to share ideas like we do. All these just to

spend time usefully and try NOT to kill time. :bored:

with best wishes,
V.R.

Dear Mrs Visalakshi Ramani,

Well said. Time is for spending, it is upto us "how to spend".
I wish to do a bit of loud thinking and share with you my views on Old age.
First, I have accepted the fact that growing old is a natural process, nothing except the end can stop. I enjoy every minute of my existence, which is the gift of God (nature). Why should I compare my life with past always. Happiness is only in "the present", which is the only known experience to me, past is dead and gone and future is not known.

As I grew older, slowly I unshackled myself from all the false beliefs, dogmas and ego. Now I feel free. I expect no one's certificate for my goodness or efficiency. Neither I care if some one criticize me or my actions. This gave me the strength to be honest and true. I try to help others what ever little at the dictates of my conscience.

Every day is a new day for me with 24 hours to spend. I spend time with my Grand daughters telling them stories that I knew. Brush my English Grammar to explain "gerund" and help them to improve their GK. Argue with my wife as always to make her feel that "I am alive and kicking". Now that my family lovingly takes care of every need of mine, I found the truth that I have little or no value for money. I enjoy the respect I get when I go out. People address me with respect, give me preference in activities. I try to spread happiness where ever I go, with jokes, anecdotes and old time stories. I spend not less than six hours a day with my computer. I am a member in many Web Forums which discuss from "Fountain pens to Epicurus philosophy". Recently I started organizing our family in Family Groups sites in Yahoo Groups to help the younger generation spread all over the globe, to find their roots and exchange family news and pictures.

World is wonderful if we look at the positive side of Old age.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[[email protected]]

Brahmanyan sir you are a GOD father with many Qualities. Keepit up. s.r.k.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Dear Mr. Brahmanyan,

We attach less and less importance to everything -including importance itself

We mellow with age like old wines. We are forgiving and forgetting also.

We are free from tension and turn to our old loves- like reading , listening,

writing and umpteen other hobbies. We don't have to prove anything to any

one any more. We are what we are and everyone accepts us that way.

Growing old is great-even the body aches and box of pills!
Let us grow old gracefully, usefully and happily!:rain:

Nice of you to have started this useful thread!

with warm regards,
V.R.

 

[Raji Ram]

,,,,,,,,,,,, I am a member in many Web Forums which discuss from "Fountain pens to Epicurus philosophy". ..........
World is wonderful if we look at the positive side of Old age.

Warm Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

Dear Sir,

1. Did you read about the zero gravity pen, in my 'payaNak ka(vi)thaigaL'?

2. Your positive approach to old age is much appreciated!

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear Sir,

1. Did you read about the zero gravity pen, in my 'payaNak ka(vi)thaigaL'?

2. Your positive approach to old age is much appreciated!

Regards,
Raji Ram

Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

You mean the following Poem:

நாசா தயாரித்த சிறந்த பேனா வாங்கினோம்; அதன் பெருமை
நாசா சொற்களில்,'இது விண்வெளியிலும் எழுதுகின்ற பேனா!'

'நீரின் உள்ளேயும், தலைகீழாயும், எண்ணை பட்ட பேப்பரிலும்,
நீரில் நனைத்த பேப்பரிலும், மிக அதிக வெப்ப நிலையிலும்,

விண்வெளியிலும் எழுதும் பேனா தேவை', எனக் கேட்டதும்,
விண்ணோரின் வரத்தால் வந்ததுபோல உள்ளது, இந்த பேனா!

வரம் தருவது போல, நீரிலும், நனைந்த பேப்பரிலும், மிகச் சூடு
வரும் இடத்திலும், தலைகீழாயும், எழுதும் 'ZERO GRAVITY PEN'!

புவியீர்ப்பு விசை இல்லாவிடின் மைப் பேனா எழுதாதாம்; இது
புவியீர்ப்பு இல்லாத விண்வெளியில் எழுதுவது சிறப்புதானே!


It seems to be an interesting pen.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

 

[Haridasa Siva]

I am too young to talk of old age (I am 42). It is also a sign of arrogance (chchotti moo badee bath?) to voice my views in a forum of elders with REAL experience. But curiosity got better of me and I decided to write my views/thoughts.

I understand the context in which Brahmanyan sir has mentioned, 'money has little or no vale". But unfortunately, it may not be so for a vast majority of old people who did not have pensionalble job. As also those who do not have well-earning wards or any source of income, life must be hell. They would curse themselves everyday.

One also needs to be healthy. However pleasant an old person's attitude may be, if the person is not healthy, it is a nuisance for others and their frustration would reflect in their words and actions.

The third issue is how the parents treated their children would indeed play a role in how the children in turn treat their parents (who are 'old people' today).

Last but not the least, old people must keep oout ego and stories of "those good olden days..." which no one has any understanding of nor any time to understand since they have their own agenda (learning/earning).

Please forgive me if any of my statements has in any way made any elder feel hurt or disrespectful.
:humble:
Lokah samasthaa sukhino bhavantu.

 

[Raji Ram]

"Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

You mean the following Poem:

நாசா தயாரித்த சிறந்த பேனா வாங்கினோம்; அதன் பெருமை
நாசா சொற்களில்,'இது விண்வெளியிலும் எழுதுகின்ற பேனா!"
...............


Yes Sir! The cost of the pen, in 2003 was $ 12 only.

My cousin has bought it recently for his bed ridden mother, who loves me a lot and writes letters to me even now. She has to write with the tip pointing upwards! :thumb:

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Old age

Dear friends,

The previous generation had the motto of life as 'live and let live'. Now it is 'let live!'

As long as the parents are able to take care of themselves, they should thank God for His small mercies!

After seeing a wide circle of our friends and relatives, these words came in my mind:

'பிற்காலத்தில் தன் தேவைகளைத் தன் பிள்ளை கவனிப்பான் என
எக்காலத்திலும் கற்பனை வேண்டாம்! அறிவீரே! பெற்றோரே!

தன் உழைப்பால் சேர்த்த செல்வம், தானம் தருமம் போகத்
தனக்கென்றே வைத்தவர்தான் கலிநாளில் பிழைத்திடுவர்!'

There are still a few in the younger generation, who are willing to keep their parents / parent with them and so do we have rains!

Almost all of us know the Bhaja Govindham stanza referring to 'jarjara dEhE' ... :hail:

Regards,
Raji Ram

If we live life as per vedas, you do not come to grief. All of us deviated away; hence the suffering. We cannot enjoy American lifestyle and have the privilege of Indian traditions at the same time. At or about 60 retire to forest. As forests have been replaced by concrete jungles now, learn and practise to live aloof whereever you are. Money is essential but at least at this old age you should try to live without it. You cannot blame the children either in these days, for they are placed worse than us.

 

[Brahmanyan]

I am too young to talk of old age (I am 42). It is also a sign of arrogance (chchotti moo badee bath?) to voice my views in a forum of elders with REAL experience. But curiosity got better of me and I decided to write my views/thoughts.

I understand the context in which Brahmanyan sir has mentioned, 'money has little or no vale". But unfortunately, it may not be so for a vast majority of old people who did not have pensionalble job. As also those who do not have well-earning wards or any source of income, life must be hell. They would curse themselves everyday.

One also needs to be healthy. However pleasant an old person's attitude may be, if the person is not healthy, it is a nuisance for others and their frustration would reflect in their words and actions.

The third issue is how the parents treated their children would indeed play a role in how the children in turn treat their parents (who are 'old people' today).

Last but not the least, old people must keep oout ego and stories of "those good olden days..." which no one has any understanding of nor any time to understand since they have their own agenda (learning/earning).

Please forgive me if any of my statements has in any way made any elder feel hurt or disrespectful.
:humble:
Lokah samasthaa sukhino bhavantu.

Dear Sri Haridasa Siva,

I am happy to read your rejoinder to my post. What I have written is about my personal views on old age. To tell the truth having served in Private companies, I do not earn any pension. Though I have worked till 72 years of age, I do not have big savings in my bank. My only asset is a house and my loving family who live with me.I value the warmth of our near and dear more than all the money we have. I have my health problems too like any other old person. My doctor takes care of them.

What I have not written is that it is imperative for the old people to adjust themselves to the present generation and understand changes cannot be stopped.

Please be free to air your views.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

 

[Raji Ram]

If we live life as per vedas, you do not come to grief. All of us deviated away; hence the suffering. We cannot enjoy American lifestyle and have the privilege of Indian traditions at the same time. At or about 60 retire to forest. As forests have been replaced by concrete jungles now, learn and practise to live aloof whereever you are. Money is essential but at least at this old age you should try to live without it. You cannot blame the children either in these days, for they are placed worse than us.

Dear Sir,

Most of the children are settled overseas. Even if they wish to keep the parents with them, visa formalities won't allow, till they get the green card / permanent resident status for their parents!

Seniors who have the opportunity to stay with their children are blessed ones!

I always argue with my friends that senior citizen homes are best resort during old age.

Our friends live in 'vAnaprasthA' (forest?!) at Coimbatore and lead a relaxed and carefree life!

No electricity bill, milk card, ration shop etc...

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear Sir,

Most of the children are settled overseas. Even if they wish to keep the parents with them, visa formalities won't allow, till they get the green card / permanent resident status for their parents!

Seniors who have the opportunity to stay with their children are blessed ones!

I always argue with my friends that senior citizen homes are best resort during old age.

Our friends live in 'vAnaprasthA' (forest?!) at Coimbatore and lead a relaxed and carefree life!

No electricity bill, milk card, ration shop etc...

Regards,
Raji Ram

Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

Views differ according to personal experiences. At the last part of my life I am against living away from my family, whether in India or abroad. Senior citizens Home provides all facilities to exist and continue life, but "living" is different. In spite of differences, no amount of physical comfort will replace the love and affection you enjoy from the near and dear. I have come across many elderly people suffering the emptiness of loveless life inspite of all physical comforts provided by their children. This is some thing we understand when we grow old.
Humans cannot be discarded in a sophisticated "pinjrapol", just to continue to exist till death.
This subject has been discussed in detail in a thread under the head "Old age Homes" in August 2009.

Best wishes.
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Nara]

....... In spite of differences, no amount of physical comfort will replace the love and affection you enjoy from the near and dear.

Brahmanyan sir, this is so true. Even in the hyper individualistic society in the west, family members try to stay close by. Elementary and middle schools get out by about 3 or 3:30 and it is grandparents who line up to pick up the kids in many cases.

The bliss of grandchildren is an important reason to cultivate a close and loving relationship between parents and children. We oldsters must take our share of the responsibility for this to happen seriously.

Cheers, Nara(yanan)

 

[Brahmanyan]

Brahmanyan sir, this is so true. Even in the hyper individualistic society in the west, family members try to stay close by. Elementary and middle schools get out by about 3 or 3:30 and it is grandparents who line up to pick up the kids in many cases.

The bliss of grandchildren is an important reason to cultivate a close and loving relationship between parents and children. We oldsters must take our share of the responsibility for this to happen seriously.

Cheers, Nara(yanan)

Dear Sri Narayanan,

You have put it nicely. The bondage of affection and love between my grand daughters and me is an unique experience. The present generation of children exhibit a lot of independence and intelligence, many a time I am checkmated by their questions and answers. I tried to be useful to the family in my own way (without much of interference).
Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

ALL MEMBERS,
Today I saw in You Tube "VISUVIN Makkal Arangam-Emotional Episode" which was held in COIMBATORE city. After listening to the speech of an elderly Lady who is running old age home for elderly TB community,
I was very much moved and wondered whether such beasts live in this modern days posing themselves as good citizens.Shame on them.