So let us try to think from all the angles and not be swayed by the glamour of modern thinking.
The highlighted made me reflect. On thinking. Could there be modern thinking, new thinking, old thinking, traditional thinking, positive thinking, negative thinking, desperate thinking...? These are all from a certain standpoint, of course, and thinking could be only that - thinking.
I dont take sides when thinking, and neither do I think that something is bad or good per se. It is for every individual to decide what is best for him/her. Our discussions can only mean that we put unwritten thoughts, of many, into posts of a few here in this forum. Generalizing on a few personalized examples expose an undesirable habit as it indicates shallow thinking.
IC/IR marriages are opposed for the right reasons. A marriage is supposed to be the union of minds but that does not seem to be the case in these marriages. It is mainly occurring because of physical intimacy or for some other less worthy reasons. If it really is a union of minds the objections would be far less strident.
You have made a strong and sweeping statement. How do we know that ic/ir marriages are due to physical intimacy? Because a group of "jati brahmins" thought so? The very fact that such couples chose to bond in marriage against adversity could very well be an example of their "union of minds", dont you think?
Some people have an illusion that all is sweet and honey in arranged marriages. There are several factors that (I have noticed) are commonly overlooked in an arranged marriage:
1) The family (generally of the girl) rushes to help and support and bends backwards to make sure that the union is not broken
2) In most arranged marriages, the male is the dominant (and probably chauvinistic) type. If the girl is individualistic, then often such marriages break. Else, the wife becomes a nagging character and could often talk behind the back of the husband.
3) The mappillai is treated like a king by the girl's father as they feel that if the girl is abandoned, her future is doomed.
Predominantly, families who think in a manner similar to the above are the older generation (thus I have observed). Similar to many members here in this forum, who advocate against ic/ir.
IC/IR marriages seem to fail because:
1) Both the families tend to look down at them, even to the extent of ostracizing. The couple get no support (financial or emotional) whatsoever, which otherwise might have made them lead a normal life.
2) Some or both sides may sometimes tend to influence either the boy or the girl to separate so that they could maintain their "jati purity". Such instigations coupled with a bad phase could sway the thinking of any one of the couple to indulge in the thought that their decision to live was a mistake.
So it is not all an innocent conclusion to say that "same caste marriages are successful", and IC/IR are not.
If you feel that humans are the same, and there are no behavioural genes that are passed down (which is again an unproven hypothesis), then you should have no objection to an ic/ir marriage.
I think those who talk of preserving the culture think that the substantive part has to be protected. Basically they are spiritual values but that is what is most lacking in the current times. It manifests outwardly as some desirable actions and behaviour which is what is sought to be preserved. Doing rituals, celebrating festivals, going to temples and similar activities are supposed to kindle the spirituality and promote mental well being.
Well, if you go into the core of any festival or ritual, the underlying "substantive" part would be happiness, prosperity, health and peace. Is it not? Why care about the facade?
Dear Sravna, does it matter to you if I put the greeting "Dear Sravna" either on top or on the bottom? After all, the intent is what matters...!
