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Brahmin Girls Marrying (Attracted towards) NB Boys

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Marriage-Culture-Caste-Tradition-Family-Emotions

Wow. Being fairly new to this forum. I was very much amazed to see so many people interested in sharing their thoughts and opinions.

In this topic of marriage outside the caste, many people have given some genuine and deeply thought out views. However, since there have been about 13 pages of feedback on this title, I only went through few pages. If my views are already posted by someone else, please take it as a complement.

From the moment of waking up in the morning to the last moment of wakefulness before we go to sleep every night, there are exhaustive guidelines in our Brahmin culture. A person who has followed all these is one who eventually is spiritually inclined, materially detached.

The early man, self realized man had one duty in this world that was material. To continue the family chain. He found it very easy to find a girl willing to marry him. Simply because of the spiritual glow which is more attractive than the material pleasures.

There are umpteen instances in history which tell us that the rishis, our ancestors, were wed to women from various family backgrounds. That was a time when by the spiritual prowess of a Brahmin, women wanted to marry him.

Marriage today is simply a continuity of culture-caste-tradition-family-emotion to remain respectable/acceptable within ones' own community. The moment we continue to follow the high ideals of life that the rishis -our ancestors followed, we will start seeing brahmin women come back to the olden day tradition.

In a way, brahmin women are a great medicine to the amnesia of forgetting our spiritual roots. If we want them to follow the tradition, then it is high time we mend our own ways.

Orthodoxy is not necessarily spiritual. And the fruits of our actions may not necessarily be reaped in this birth alone.
 
Wow. Being fairly new to this forum. I was very much amazed to see so many people interested in sharing their thoughts and opinions.

In this topic of marriage outside the caste, many people have given some genuine and deeply thought out views. However, since there have been about 13 pages of feedback on this title, I only went through few pages. If my views are already posted by someone else, please take it as a complement.

From the moment of waking up in the morning to the last moment of wakefulness before we go to sleep every night, there are exhaustive guidelines in our Brahmin culture. A person who has followed all these is one who eventually is spiritually inclined, materially detached.

The early man, self realized man had one duty in this world that was material. To continue the family chain. He found it very easy to find a girl willing to marry him. Simply because of the spiritual glow which is more attractive than the material pleasures.

There are umpteen instances in history which tell us that the rishis, our ancestors, were wed to women from various family backgrounds. That was a time when by the spiritual prowess of a Brahmin, women wanted to marry him.

Marriage today is simply a continuity of culture-caste-tradition-family-emotion to remain respectable/acceptable within ones' own community. The moment we continue to follow the high ideals of life that the rishis -our ancestors followed, we will start seeing brahmin women come back to the olden day tradition.

In a way, brahmin women are a great medicine to the amnesia of forgetting our spiritual roots. If we want them to follow the tradition, then it is high time we mend our own ways.

Orthodoxy is not necessarily spiritual. And the fruits of our actions may not necessarily be reaped in this birth alone.

Nice explanation....

But the world has changed since the rishis... and in this world there is more material attraction that is enough to drive the mind to its limit. Hence there is a natural conflict of opinions within the mind. One sees that we are not absolutely adhering to the traditions, but yet we claim a culture by virtue of birth. We are also driven by high-end material pursuits and exhibit lack of unity and as a result are hypocritical in our ideologies and our actions... This is what has emboldened, not only the girls but also our boys, to explore this "adjustment factor" further...

Even when brahmin families unite by way of marriage, there are a lot of conflicts... some are only namesake brahmins and hence the girl/boy would find a shock to see that their in-laws care two hoots about the traditions... As human mind tends to generalize, this kind of two-faced approach is generalized and hence has its impact in the mind of the younger generation who seem to be frustrated by all this.... and I believe that it is the starting point for them to be attracted to gender of the other caste. Moreover, brahmins are generally seen as paper tigers - no individual charisma, build or "unity in the community". Exceptions are there, as in every case.

Doing away with unnecessary ego, unity of the brahmin community and balancing the physical and the spiritual are the steps which would go a long way in reviving the greatness of our community.

Regards,
Seshadri
 
Marriage outside one's birth lineage

Dear Sir,

I must agree times have changed. I must also say, times have always been changing. Rishis have lived when there were no kingdoms, they have lived when there were kingdoms, and they have also lived through various yugas. As so it is a strong belief that persists, to say, Rishis do live even today.

Some of them are among us. Just like there were some in the ancient days who did not prefer to be in public eye. Rishis were primarily people who married and kept the family lineage though always merged in spirituality.

The bhramaastra today is the nuclear weapons. The men and women of today wear a different kind of clothing. People today make their living in a different way than in those days. The nature of conflicts today are much different in form that in those days. However primarily, the bhramaastra or nuclear power is the same. Men and women are still attracted to each other. People were and are inclined to accumulation of wealth. We did have some one to induce Rama's exile, Sita's abduction and various vicious characters in the other epic mahabaratha. Similarly even in today's world there are many issues which again were not new in those days. Just that the form has changed a bit or a lot.

So it is again all about our individual resolve to stay put in the right path. If we take a lot of sweets at home. It is more likely our children will follow the same. If we watch movies which glorify and accept god it is more likely our children will follow the same. If we spend more time in material life and glorify the road side romeo, it is more likely our children will follow the same.

Just that they would take it a step further and live life that way. Education is individual. Whether we learn at school or home. By setting an example to our children, it would be easier for them to learn, than to expect them to follow our words alone.

To all the respectable people who have participated in this topic. Please remember, even if you have followed a good life style in this birth there is no guarantee your children will follow you. But, it gives the children an opportunity to correct themselves at least in a minor way.

After all it is not our first birth - both for us and our children in most cases. Neither is it the last in most cases. The attempts made in this life will help us and them at least in the next. Any attempt not made now may affect in the generations to come.
 
This dilemma is faced by not only by Brahmins but also other communities in India. There is a general feeling that the other communities are happy to get a Brahmin bride or bridegroom. This is not true. I had attended one of the inter community marriages. There I was talking to one of the elders from the other community. He was decidedly unhappy. He told me "jati, kula vazhakkam viitu poyidum".

I remember long time back one of my relations who is a Vadama got married to a Vathima girl. Many elders were unhappy because the Vadamas consider themselves superior to Vathima. Imagine my surprise when the girl said "vere vashiyillamal enakku oru Vadama mappillayai pidichirukka." She was not happy at all. Marriages between different sub sects and people from different regions for example Palakkad and Tanjore did create problems.

Sub sect marriages were called inter caste marriages and frowned upon. Some still consider it like that. Look at the marriage ads.

Every community has its own traditions. They are proud of their traditions. So no one is happy when a boy/girl marries into another community.

This is more of a general problem affecting all communities in India. Many of the other communities react violently. It is better among the Brahmins though there are stray incidences of violence.
 
Shri sridharvasudevan,

I was just musing out on the subject...

My view is summed up as follows (just repeating here) - brahmins are being hypocrites, they do not lead by example... and hence the seed of doubt is sown in the child when young and blossoms when they reach adolescence and become deep rooted when they are in their prime... Then they interact with the society, which seems to be predominantly anti-brahmin (perception change occurs)... and then they start to pick out on the "poor" qualities of a brahmin... for example, brahmin girls tend to call boys "sombu", if he speaks in a typical brahmin style... again, the brahmin boy is seen as an "evader" of direct physical conflict... these are signs of weakness, whatever the reason may be... so, the laws of attraction tends to swing against the brahmins... but his could be rectified, as highlighted by several different posts in this thread...

But courage (which would do away with hypocrisy) is a factor which could be gained by "unity" only.. and hence the intent in my earlier post.

I did not mean to counter your view in my earlier post (if you had construed it to be so).

Regards,
Seshadri
 
Inter community marriages

Dear Sir,

You latest posting on this subject was impressive almost totally.

I agree in many aspects of compelling truth in your words. It only inspired me to write a few thoughts, and keep a check and balance. The balance I sought to highlight was that HOPE is not lost.

The great ones of ancient times are not extinct. Yes, people do not act as they say, which you have noted as hypocrisy.

The HOPE, in my view concentrates on the effort we should take during our life time. The effort would be in terms of spiritual progress, and not simply by following religious rituals or words of advice to our next generation.
 
This dilemma is faced by not only by Brahmins but also other communities in India. There is a general feeling that the other communities are happy to get a Brahmin bride or bridegroom. This is not true. I had attended one of the inter community marriages. There I was talking to one of the elders from the other community. He was decidedly unhappy. He told me "jati, kula vazhakkam viitu poyidum".

I remember long time back one of my relations who is a Vadama got married to a Vathima girl. Many elders were unhappy because the Vadamas consider themselves superior to Vathima. Imagine my surprise when the girl said "vere vashiyillamal enakku oru Vadama mappillayai pidichirukka." She was not happy at all. Marriages between different sub sects and people from different regions for example Palakkad and Tanjore did create problems.

Sub sect marriages were called inter caste marriages and frowned upon. Some still consider it like that. Look at the marriage ads.

Every community has its own traditions. They are proud of their traditions. So no one is happy when a boy/girl marries into another community.

This is more of a general problem affecting all communities in India. Many of the other communities react violently. It is better among the Brahmins though there are stray incidences of violence.


Nachi sir,
Namaskarams.......you are right.....my own example about palakkad
with tanjavur marriages..in fact both families not really happy..
palakkad and tanjore did create problems..we say sub sect no bar.
but in reality a lot of problems...still vadama feels more superiority.
palakkad traditions are different from tanjore traditions...so called
vadamal traditions.JUST SOME SAY...PAPATHI, VANNATHI, KURATHI
CANNOT GET ALONG WITH OTHERS......

Regards
tbs
 
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species

There are two sub-species of humanity;namely man & woman.As long as a man marries a woman and vice versa,we ought be happy in this kali-yugam :)
 
There are two sub-species of humanity;namely man & woman.As long as a man marries a woman and vice versa,we ought be happy in this kali-yugam :)

That is a very general statement... the logic could be extended to discard off nationalism and embrace the whole world as one... no boundaries and no restrictions!

Though sounding lofty, it is impractical... the past defines us, and not all of that can be forgotten or ignored for we are bound by it. There are cultural and behavioural patterns that differ within the same species...

Yes, the biological capacity is there, but as regards the mind, it would be not be so easy.

Regards,
Seshadri
 
>>That is a very general statement... the logic could be extended to discard off nationalism and embrace the whole world as one... no boundaries and no restrictions!<<

Vasudaiva Kutumbakam

The whole earth is a family



>>Though sounding lofty, it is impractical... the past defines us, and not all of that can be forgotten or ignored for we are bound by it. There are cultural and behavioural patterns that differ within the same species...

Yes, the biological capacity is there, but as regards the mind, it would be not be so easy.<<

In MHO ,one should always start living in the present always.I can only cite the example of Bhiman to Yudhistran,when Yudhistran absent mindedly tells a brahmin mendicant who comes to his house and says "Bhavathu Bikshaandehi",and when Yudhistran tells the mendicant to come tomorrow,he will get alms from him;immediately Bhima starts hollering that,Yudhistran has become a " Kaala Gyani" as he has confirmed to the mendicant he will get alms from him tomorrow,thereby conqured Time,by foretelling what will happen in the future.

The moral of the story is,live in the present.Past behavioural patterns,are not guranteed for reseults,in the present nor the future.If someone falls in love,we call it Gandharva Kaadal.One of the most ideally suited in all times,IMHO.

Janma Jaata Shudra Sarve
Karmenu Brahman Bhavati

All humans are inferior (Shudra) by birth and they become superior (Brahmins) only by their good deeds later in their life.
:) :)

sb

 
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Dear S Bala-ji,

Am not sure if the story of Bhima, Yudhishtra and the moral of it is in anyway related to marriages. Each one has inherited his own karma and fate...what applies to one, cannot apply to another.

All i notice is that in goodtimes no one seems to bother abt religion or caste. In bad times such things gets 'used' as a part of the blame-game.

Ps: also please note that the meaning of shudra (diff meaning) is not inferior: inferior (Shudra). The context of the above verse is just that all are same at birth.
 
marriage

Dear S Bala-ji,

Am not sure if the story of Bhima, Yudhishtra and the moral of it is in anyway related to marriages. Each one has inherited his own karma and fate...what applies to one, cannot apply to another.

All i notice is that in goodtimes no one seems to bother abt religion or caste. In bad times such things gets 'used' as a part of the blame-game.

Ps: also please note that the meaning of shudra (diff meaning) is not inferior: inferior (Shudra). The context of the above verse is just that all are same at birth.



Shri HH,

We have so many books on so many things written by so many people and so many people comprehending in so many ways,ultimately there is a myriad versions of a singular truth,IMHO.

Therefore,the incident in MBH as mentioned by me,is alien news,to some.None of us inherit nothing when we are born nor do we take nothing when we leave our mortal coils.Karma & Fate,are theories based on science,followed by faith.But it is one of the most impressive,theory that i have ever come across in my life.So,i do believe in Karma,re-incarnation...etc as explained by Lord Krishna to Shri Arjuna in our Bhagavath Gita.Shri Sanjaya remotely visualises the conversation between Lord Krishna & Shri Arjuna,and explains verbatim to King Dhritashtra,who is blind physically as well as mentally!!

Bhramana,Kshatriya,Vaisyas,Shudras are personality traits inherent in every human being in the world.How this four types shape up ultimately designates one,in the above categories,is my own interpretation.I am at peace with this mode of thinking process.

Good and bad times,are states of mind only.Equanimity of mind at all times,is what is suggested by our Lord.By surrendering our own self to the Lord,in the state of "Sharanagathi" is the best mode for our Kali Yugam,as expressed by
various enlightened Avatars/Gurus of the past and present.

The context with marriage,as far our minority community Brahmin's ( Tamil,Telegu,Kannada,Kashmiri,USA.....etc) is,what i am practically witnessing as well as what i did in my personal life,when it came to marriage:

Our way of matching horoscopes between bride and bridegroom,is in actuality a very scientific methodology.As all over the world,Time is still divided using the celestial objects like Suryan,Chandran,Chevvai,Budhan,Gurum,Sukran,Shanieswaran.The various sub-sects within the Brahmin fold,allows us,an oppurtunity,to let younger generation mingle amongst themselves,with a sense of responsibility.Times are different,as both bride as well as bridegroom get the same quality of education,which propels them to be independent in economic matters,as well gives them a self-confidence in facing the trials and tribulations of the world scenario today.The education which is imparted is more or less,western conceptualised patterns.Obviously we cannot go back to the Gurukula style of Guru-Shisya Parampara for the majority of population,so in a way,Christian Terrorists who ruled Bharatham for 200 Years have won,so to speak.

What i am suggesting is,young people should be allowed to date within our Brahmin community.Mingle around.While pre-marital sex is prevalent in western world openly unlike in secrecy in Bharatham(minority cases) but thats how the world is being churned by dharmic as well as adharmic forces.

:)

sb
 
SB & Sesh Ji!

I've posted one poem called "in the game of love.." please ponder over it.

Regards
 
feedback

Shri M M

I have given you a nick name..err sort of took some liberties :)

sb
 
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SB

no need to ask - people already do that and i prefer informal address rather than with any adage like shri,mr,ji etc... just mm will do.

One day , I was eating a mango - the sweetnesss left incredible appreciation for the fruit, then this name get struck with me.

No wonder , what you eat makes what you think...

Regards
 
hmm

M M

So,you have become a " Maangai Mandai " :)

sb

P.S.It's just a joke on you.I find all your post's so informative.I think this is one of the finest forum's..thank you swami for letting me stumble here...bumble here...
 
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dog

Jaagratha

>>Even the street dog wants to go with the mightiest one among the others.<<

I thought its the "bitch" who lets the strongest dog do it.I Hardly see any street dogs let loose here,so i may have forgotten,which does what!!

sb

:high5:
 
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pochuda namma thalai uruluthu...

as a matter of fact - it is mambhazha mandai - with the bald and the skin tone.

on a serious tone - I'm just a pure " I " with no adjectives like swami, not an aasami too.
 
pochuda namma thalai uruluthu...

as a matter of fact - it is mambhazha mandai - with the bald and the skin tone.

on a serious tone - I'm just a pure " I " with no adjectives like swami, not an aasami too.

hi MM sir,
pazgutha mango melai kalladi pada thaan seyyum........this is
natural law.....pazhutha mambathile vandugal varathaan seyyum..

regards
tbs
 
jai jawan jai kisan tbs....hope troops from Iraq & Afghanistan come back too asap.

sb
 
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