Are arranged marriages good for tamil brahmins?

[Raji Ram]

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Live-in = expense-free-marriage! :dance:

Yeah! Live with someone and enjoy married life. :hug:

If girl gets pregnant (guys can't!) there are two options:

1. Destroy the fetus before it is too late.

2. Register marriage with minimal expense.

If the relationship gets bitter, just move on to find another 'asadu'!! :lol:

This IS the revolution by the youngsters in India! out:

 

[GANESH65]

Live-in = expense-free-marriage! :dance:

Yeah! Live with someone and enjoy married life. :hug:

If girl gets pregnant (guys can't!) there are two options:

1. Destroy the fetus before it is too late.

If the relationship gets bitter, just move on to find another 'asadu'!! :lol:

This IS the revolution by the youngsters in India! out:

This arrangement may hold good till she turns 30, or okay may be 35 what after that? Once the charm and beauty starts diminishing how can one manage? Is there some body to tell them all these..........

 

[Raji Ram]

This arrangement may hold good till she turns 30, or okay may be 35 what after that? Once the charm and beauty starts diminishing how can one manage? Is there some body to tell them all these..........

Probably they think, 'aRubathilum Asai varum'!! :lol:

Raghy Sir! We miss you!!

 

[Raji Ram]

I also support post NO. #8

Oh, Yeah! That hit song, which was banned in M'sia!

There is an age old Q: Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Likewise, do movies copy reality or do public copy the movies?

But, it is said that since a few couples escape and get married or get married after getting pregnant, this song was composed!!

 

[rishikesan]

Dear Krish 44, # 45 and # 48 are Narrative of the situation prevailing . Though you , very nicely analyse about Live- in , Simultaneously mention the practical, Negative aspects also clearly.
If you , yourself think about what all Positives & Negatives written till date being a well experienced man traveled all over , would find that the brahmin women fail miserably & put her husband in a tight corner & take him & her in-laws to Family Court & play with their future ?a failure in getting married life successful with the not so good husband. Normally Brahmins never think of stepping in a Court/ Police station .
Some how Despite having lot of knowledge, about everything , individually, as a Group we prove to be--------------( I do not know how to conclude ? May our Veteran do conclude ) How long, we are going to be like this, without real give & take in Married life If this continues our sons & daughters may not get real support both from parents/ friends Etc may result in loneliness , giving room for Mental Agony ?
Please Wake-up From Dreamy life & face the Real Life .
A.Srinivasan








A.Srinivasan

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Oh, Yeah! That hit song, which was banned in M'sia!

There is an age old Q: Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Likewise, do movies copy reality or do public copy the movies?

But, it is said that since a few couples escape and get married or get married after getting pregnant, this song was composed!!

It was not that hit song...

This is posting No.8:

OMG! Old wine in new bottle again, Krish Sir!

The girls capable of getting their 'soul mate' do so; some obedient ones take the help of the parents in the search.

I wonder whether there is any need to discuss again in forum!

May be that the thread opener feels that few members of this Forum deserve old wine alone more ... give them more.... lol​

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Dear Rishikesan Ji,

Let us talk about the reality now….

The thread opener in one of his postings, I mean in posting No.12 has said that

So let us talk of senior citizen TBs having affairs.

What is all this….. Senior citizen TBs having affair….??

I want you and others to spare some serious thought over such postings.

And now my question is, do you think that does this Forum members deserve to discuss a subject like this..?

more specially about Senior citizen TBs having affairs.....

It is highly senseless to go through such postings in a Forum like this.

I fail to understand as to how some of you are tolerating such nonsense postings.

He will in his next posting touch topic something like Senior Citizen TBs having illegal intimacy...

Are you ready....???

And will go on discuss about Senior Citizen TBs having immoral attitude..

Is it okay....????


With nearly 75% of young generation of TBs moved to west in search green pastures, who is left to study, analyze, examine, evaluate and digest such postings……??

A futile exercise.

The energy of this member can be well spent by discussing real issues, challenges, etc

But ofcourse, some are capable of writing only what they dream.... lol

Anyway it is your choice... to discuss about.... Senior Citizen TBs having affairs.... etc .... good topic for eludite members of this Forum to discuss with all seriousness, .......ask questions and the thread opener will answer with all his acquired wisdom. lol

In fact we are having more FUN

Please Wake-up From Dreamy life & face the Real Life .

A.Srinivasan

And this is my stand. The thread opener is prone to wander in colourful dream and come here to vomit his dreamland experiences..

 

[prasad1]

What is the difference between Live-in and married couple. Except for the ceremony or certificate, everything remains the same. Even the courts now recognize it as such.

Moreover if a couple came and introduced themselves as husband and wife no one questions them. We do not ask for their marriage certificate. We trust them. Just as we trust our mother as to the father we accept.

 

[tbs]

What is the difference between Live-in and married couple. Except for the ceremony or certificate, everything remains the same. Even the courts now recognize it as such.

Moreover if a couple came and introduced themselves as husband and wife no one questions them. We do not ask for their marriage certificate. We trust them. Just as we trust our mother as to the father we accept.

hi

intially we may not need ceremony /certificate....may not require for male....but....many times both are important for

a gal....especially for divorce/almony....

 

[renuka]

This arrangement may hold good till she turns 30, or okay may be 35 what after that? Once the charm and beauty starts diminishing how can one manage? Is there some body to tell them all these..........

Same applies in marriage...after a while both husband and wife too age and fade!LOL

BTW I do not support live in relationships for anyone with the Indian DNA becos we can not handle the consequences.

I have noticed a trend in India that is for some being modern means being too unconventional.

Modern does not mean we lose our Viveka.

 

[krish44]

Same applies in marriage...after a while both husband and wife too age and fade!LOL

BTW I do not support live in relationships for anyone with the Indian DNA becos we can not handle the consequences.

I have noticed a trend in India that is for some being modern means being too unconventional.

Modern does not mean we lose our Viveka.

Renukaji

You really do not understand what single working girls are going through.

Public spaces are becoming very unsafe for them.

They cannot manage without support of boys.

They are not given flats for rent .

Boys can take them and sublet

So it starts as a flat sharing arrangement in most cases.

Most are very tired after working in offices.

So most end up sharing flat duties , girls cooking and boys providing the inputs for which calls of getting provisions and vegetable.

Most end up as virtual families with two girls and a boy.{the idea is girls can be protective of each other inthis arrangement]

After sometime, many girls find out that the boy in the house is not bad for a long time commitment .

So they drift into a live in.

This happens gradually as they have faced lifes issues together and why not prolong it.

Then the process of legitimisation -marriage approval by families, court or simple marriage.

No one is losing viveka.

It is a well thought out process , examining the pros and cons with cold blooded thinking

Not many break up.

Most girls and boys have a fall back -their families - to go the arranged way if the live in fails.

So boys and girls have best of both types -arrange and live ins

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Renukaji

You really do not understand what single working girls are going through.

Public spaces are becoming very unsafe for them.

They cannot manage without support of boys.

They are not given flats for rent .

Boys can take them and sublet

So it starts as a flat sharing arrangement in most cases.

Most are very tired after working in offices.

This is far from reality, more prticularly at Chennai

There are umpteen number of working women hostels every nook and corner

And hence there is not much of a need for a girl to go for a flat

Even in such cases, they are free to avail Bank loan and go for an Independent flat of their own.

No one can prevent them

Banks are concerned only with repayment capacity

And the builders are concerned only with buyers and loan offered by the bank

There are plenty of flat and provision for a single working girl to lead a happy life at Chennai

May be this is the status quo at Delhi.

 

[krish44]

I have a flat in chennai. . I gave it to three single working girls.

They were virtually hounded out by neighbours and the society.

Society management and families had reservation that boys visited them.during day time.

They snooped on them and wanted to be guardian of their morals.lol

As house owner, I cared the least.

But these girls were harassed.

Working girls hostels are third class. Almost like jails.Three to four in a room.

Living conditions are pathetic.

Girls from good families can hardly live there..

This is chennai.

I was advised not to give flats to singles especially girls as it is bad for daughters of families in the society.lol

 

[V.Balasubramani]

I have a flat in chennai. . I gave it to three single working girls.

They were virtually hounded out by neighbours and the society.

Society management and families had reservation that boys visited them.during day time.

They snooped on them and wanted to be guardian of their morals.lol

As house owner, I cared the least.

But these girls were harassed.

This is chennai.

I was advised not to give flats to singles especially girls as it is bad for daughters of families in the society.lol

Why do bother about neighbours.

Better try to own all the apartments and rent them all to the girls and make it a heaven for single working girls.. a Vasantha Mantapam ... indeed.

Let them all have a merry time there, a dedicated apartment for single working women.. think about it ... instead of finding fault with the society.

Or try to preach your neighbours about the importance of supporting working single girls

That will be more worthwhile job to do

Instead of preaching in this Forum.lol

Yours is a rarest of rare case and one cannot generalise .... based on your personal experience.

Ofcourse for few of the members who are away from Chennai may think whatever you write about Chennai and about TBs of South India are reflection of their llifestyle and reality.... but while actualy they are far from truth.. lol

 

[renuka]

Renukaji

You really do not understand what single working girls are going through.

Public spaces are becoming very unsafe for them.

They cannot manage without support of boys.

They are not given flats for rent .

Boys can take them and sublet

So it starts as a flat sharing arrangement in most cases.

Most are very tired after working in offices.

So most end up sharing flat duties , girls cooking and boys providing the inputs for which calls of getting provisions and vegetable.

Most end up as virtual families with two girls and a boy.{the idea is girls can be protective of each other inthis arrangement]

After sometime, many girls find out that the boy in the house is not bad for a long time commitment .

So they drift into a live in.

This happens gradually as they have faced lifes issues together and why not prolong it.

Then the process of legitimisation -marriage approval by families, court or simple marriage.

No one is losing viveka.

It is a well thought out process , examining the pros and cons with cold blooded thinking

Not many break up.

Most girls and boys have a fall back -their families - to go the arranged way if the live in fails.

So boys and girls have best of both types -arrange and live ins

Dear Krish ji,

But why are they staying away from parents?

When I was single and unmarried...I was posted to a remote place..my mum followed me to stay with me cos she felt an unmarried girl should not stay alone.

Cant these girls do something like this..have an elder stay with them?

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Why leave the King of Greek kingdom, Alexander the Great and the Indian Bank Ex-CMD Kopalakrishnan, etc

Let the list grow.....include everyone.....

Let there be more twist and turns...now and then...

Let there be mind blowing......shameless....etc etc.

<snipped>

Read somewhere...

Man with a donkey or woman with donka..... will just to bring rains to scorched lands..,..

When a section believe this...... why not believe other posts

Here is the story...

Arranged marriage and definitely not a love marriage I belive

Donkey wedding staged to bring rain

Residents of India's southern city of Bangalore have married off two donkeys, in the hope that the ancient ritual will usher in good monsoon rains.

Though monsoons have hit southern India, Bangalore is still waiting for its first showers and residents decided to invoke the ritual - detailed in Hindu scriptures - after their prayers failed to deliver.

Two donkeys - the bride Ganga and the groom Varuna - tied the knot at a temple on the city outskirts to loud cheers of about 100 guests, who attended the ceremony.

Rains are crucial in India, as the majority of the country's population of over 1 billion depends on agriculture and farming.

The happy couple - who wagged their tails, oblivious to the commotion - were married off in a traditional Hindu ceremony, with the bride clad in a green silk sari with gold zari.

'Praying for rain'

Great attention was also paid to ritualistic details such as the perfect invitation card, the right wedding attire and the freshest flowers.

A traditional band entertained the guests, who sprinkled the newlyweds with flowers.

"We are praying for rains. We need rains, hope gods are pleased and it rains in Bangalore today," Manjual, one of the guests, told Reuters news agency.

Only at one point did the groom get restless: when his attendant tied the holy threads around his hind and fore legs.

The guests, each of whom contributed to the marriage expenses, were later treated to a traditional meal at the temple.
Before leaving the ceremony, everybody was hopeful it would start raining soon.

Meanwhile, the BBC's weather forecast suggested unbroken sunshine in Bangalore until Sunday at the earliest.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/2998872.stm

Live-in = expense-free-marriage! :dance:

Yeah! Live with someone and enjoy married life. :hug:

If girl gets pregnant (guys can't!) there are two options:

1. Destroy the fetus before it is too late.

2. Register marriage with minimal expense.

If the relationship gets bitter, just move on to find another 'asadu'!! :lol:

This IS the revolution by the youngsters in India! out:

Well there is another choice available Neena Choice! It is a bold decision may be painful Her story is not the Hinky PinkyPonkey Father had a Donkey rhyme - Like marrying donkey for rains here its not marrying and decide to be a single mother comes out of strong Brains Hear the story from "Horses Mouth"!

https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&r...JYHeOAbE7rGXrsNyA&sig2=-LoloQNNj8FSqYbGvOFaTw

 

[krish44]

Dear renukaji

You are previliged

In india , IT and MNC jobs call for training in one city , posting in another and changes in place of work pretty frequent.

In most cases, mothers do not like to stay away from their husbands[They know them too well to do that].

Most parents let girls go on their own and at best girls visit them on extended weekends when there a holiday.

Also girls like to stay away from restrictive parents and they would like to enjoy personal freedom which they would have longed for years.

The lifestyle at home is too oppressive with too many donts and most would like an escape route.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Dear renukaji

You are previliged

In india , IT and MNC jobs call for training in one city , posting in another and changes in place of work pretty frequent.

In most cases, mothers do not like to stay away from their husbands[They know them too well to do that].

Most parents let girls go on their own and at best girls visit them on extended weekends when there a holiday.

Also girls like to stay away from restrictive parents and they would like to enjoy personal freedom which they would have longed for years.

The lifestyle at home is too oppressive with too many donts and most would like an escape route.

The fact remains, in India all these major IT Companies, MNCs they themselves provide a decent accommodation while under training and they ensure that the trainees stay safe. They take care of their staff and accommodation facilities.

In fact there is no need for mothers to worry and accompany them as these girls start living with their training mates and colleagues.

And they all know that this escape route is temporary and they get themselves prepared for the challenges they had to face in the long run.

 

[mkrishna100]

I have a flat in chennai. . I gave it to three single working girls.

They were virtually hounded out by neighbours and the society.

Thousands of single working Girls are working in Chennai and not everyone goes through the same . Few of my relatives have let out their apartment to single working women and no such problem was reoprted by the Girls and these sort of incidents happen in some selcted pockets only . In fact my relatives feel that Girls maintain the apartment much better and also prompt in paying the rent and prefer to give the apartment to working women .
Coming to the snooping aspect there are reasons much beyond the usual neighbor Gossip as some of the Apartrments taken for rent are used for :
1) Call Girl ,Brothel , Porn filming Activity
2) Sleeper Cells for antinational and anti social activity .
3) Other illegeal activity like drugs , hawala exchange , black money transactions etc etc .

And usually those apartments where the owner is abroad or in another City and where it is under some caretaker are used for those activity . As long as the rent is paid properly and regularly no one is bothered .
In my own locality itself there were such activity going silently and only later these were busted .A cousin of mine who is abroad had one apartment in the Heart of Chennai and had given it to a caretaker and it was also used for such dubious purposes and later she stopped him and gave me the keys of the same . In fact I was myself unaware of these things but only later realized the way some of these apartments are misued .

Well no doubt some women , girls especially single women are put to hardships and excessive scrutiny due to these and it can be avoided and my solution is that let all apartments have a sort of monthly get together within the apartment complex to know each other and that helps break the ice between people and they learn to live in a more co-operative manner respecting each other's boundaries and also learn to be of help to each other in difficult circumstances .Many Senior Citizens feel happy with these single women in their apartment complex as they help them with lot of activity like online booking of tickets , buying groceries etc while these single women also have a good elder support from these people during their time of crisis . I know of some cases where these single Girls ( who had come from Tier-2 Cities ) did not know how to adjust to a city life . Corporate Office life and went through depression and these senior Citizens in the apartment complex only acted as their parents , gave them support and confidence to face things in a positive way .

So it is not just black and white . Chennai has moved much ahead then what people imagine .Today no one has time even to attend to their own work , family and what to say of snooping on neighbours . Yes there are some pockets where such activity goes on but we must also be aware that some dubious activity also goes on and so nothing wrong in being extra careful or cautious in the same .

 

[tbs]

hi

i have my own flat in ECR/OMR AREA......in my area ...a lot of flats given to single gals working in MNC IT COMPANIES...

its normally quite...here in our area....many prefered single working women...generally they may hang out in our

local beach during weekends....otherwise everything fine..

 

[mkrishna100]

hi

i have my own flat in ECR/OMR AREA......in my area ...a lot of flats given to single gals working in MNC IT COMPANIES...

its normally quite...here in our area....many prefered single working women...generally they may hang out in our

local beach during weekends....otherwise everything fine..

True . That is what I had echoed in my earlier post also . Thousands of single women are working in Chennai and many owners are comfortbale in giving their apartments to these Single working women .Some irritants may be there but most of them are happy as long as not much complaints come about .

 

[krish44]

ECR road is much better.

There are sprawling complexes which have a degree of privacy.

But the recent rains have made these areas unlivable with the risk of floods.

Where living is upmarket and cosmopolitan with IT companies nearby life could be better.I do not really know

But within town, it is not the same

 

[Raji Ram]

Wow! Some abuses are getting snipped!

The working single girls are NOT as bad as you think, Krish Sir! :nono:

Sing. Chennai girls know their limits and I wonder how you got some special characters in your rented flat there. :lol:

Quite surprising! My second cousin has rented out her guest house to five girls and sometimes they come to her kitchen

to make tea for everyone, including her. They treat her as their own mom. :thumb:

 

[mkrishna100]

Wow! Some abuses are getting snipped!

The working single girls are NOT as bad as you think, Krish Sir! :nono:

Sing. Chennai girls know their limits and I wonder how you got some special characters in your rented flat there. :lol:

Quite surprising! My second cousin has rented out her guest house to five girls and sometimes they come to her kitchen

to make tea for everyone, including her. They treat her as their own mom. :thumb:

True .This is what I have been hinting i.e tenants must also sort of mix and interact with others in the complex ( at the same time both sides must not cross the boundaries and respect each others's privacy ) so that there is no misunderstanding and people help each other in a co-operative way not only in day to day activities but also during crisis . Today Apartment Complexes are the new extended families and no doubt there will always be the nasty and obnoxious elements in each complex but mostly people are decent and behave well if we also behave that way . If I am not going to mix , talk with anyone in the Complex and adopt an insular attitude then I must also be prepared for tales and stories being carried about me by my neighbors and others . The Chennai floods were the best example where all the people in the apartment complex came forward to help each other by accomodating them in their apartments , sharing the available food ,water , milk etc ( of course there were some selfish elements also who ran away without bothering about others ) .Urban India will keep facing such Crisis in future and we need to live in a co-operative way at least in apartment complexes as best as we can at the same time respecting other's privacy and boundaries .

 

[krish44]

What I like most is the complacency in this forum to refuse to face the reality around them.

They would like to reassure themselves everything is honky dory .

Then one by one incidents unfold one more shocking than the other.

Of course we tell ourselves that this incident is an exception.

One can give general advice[We are seniors.Thats our right] That young and old, neighbours should hug each other.lol



No one desires company of pokey neighbours who expect others to conform to their values.

This is typical mindset .

In delhi, residents assaulting africans in their colony claiming they are drug peddlars and immoral. In chennai people thinking northerners are criminal elements after

one ATM hold up and encounter.

Even cinema villains are north actors.

There was even a film nepali where someone puts on a mask of nepali to kill people.lol

This fault lines in urban socities due to language, regional, caste , religion differences are only widening.

When a bad incident occurs , one or two days we talk about it and become complacent again.

We assure ourself that saddi delhi or singara chennai is heavan