Times have changed.
So have tamil brahmin girls and their expectations.
Most of them are well educated,some with foreign PG degrees, in decent jobs earning a few lakhs a year and with some experience off living on their own in
hostels/apartments away from home. They are more mobile and visible in social sites .Most value their individual freedom,want no one to hit at their self respect,
look for gender equality and work for some cause or other involving womens issues.
Our arranged matches are products of a paternalistic family structures and marriage is a family to family transaction with some modification to fulfill some
aspirations of modern girls.
Yet most parents of girls project the girls as home loving, conservative,sacrificing putting family over self, respecting inlaws[most girls would like to live
separately with their mate and would like nothing to do with inlaws}
Those girls who get into these marriages are at a disadvantage. They have to live with the false image projected and are in conflict with themselves.
So marriage starts with a conflicting scenario and in course of time, the girls plot to run away with their husbands far away within or outside the country.
Some girls rebel when there is attempt at arranged marriage and opt for the nearest boy known to them who looks decent and fulfill some of their real needs -let
caste,horoscope,family be damned.
This is happening in more and more families.
We are with economic independence of women are heading towards a society where love marriages with dating, liveins preceding it . This in fact become the
norm for youngsters to be accepted in their social circle.
Wise competent girls choose their mates themselves , others who cannot find mates or have failed relationships opt for arranged marriages.
I am a messenger. Pl do not stone me.My post is based on what I have read in social sites.
So have tamil brahmin girls and their expectations.
Most of them are well educated,some with foreign PG degrees, in decent jobs earning a few lakhs a year and with some experience off living on their own in
hostels/apartments away from home. They are more mobile and visible in social sites .Most value their individual freedom,want no one to hit at their self respect,
look for gender equality and work for some cause or other involving womens issues.
Our arranged matches are products of a paternalistic family structures and marriage is a family to family transaction with some modification to fulfill some
aspirations of modern girls.
Yet most parents of girls project the girls as home loving, conservative,sacrificing putting family over self, respecting inlaws[most girls would like to live
separately with their mate and would like nothing to do with inlaws}
Those girls who get into these marriages are at a disadvantage. They have to live with the false image projected and are in conflict with themselves.
So marriage starts with a conflicting scenario and in course of time, the girls plot to run away with their husbands far away within or outside the country.
Some girls rebel when there is attempt at arranged marriage and opt for the nearest boy known to them who looks decent and fulfill some of their real needs -let
caste,horoscope,family be damned.
This is happening in more and more families.
We are with economic independence of women are heading towards a society where love marriages with dating, liveins preceding it . This in fact become the
norm for youngsters to be accepted in their social circle.
Wise competent girls choose their mates themselves , others who cannot find mates or have failed relationships opt for arranged marriages.
I am a messenger. Pl do not stone me.My post is based on what I have read in social sites.
